The TV Zone

Next week - the 7th, to be exact - NBC bows another reality show. Entitled "Great American Road Trip," this one is of especial interest to LI'ers because...it stars an LI family.

Here they are, the Favereys...of Wantagh...

Well, sure: I exaggerate.

I do that a lot.

But Dylan Ratigan did get on the air with his new gig this morning with hardly any advanced warning.

Show's called "Morning Meeting." Ratigan's a talented guy. Should be good. We'll see.

Here's Brian Williams greeting the new anchorman this morning.

Amusing...

Hard to believe, but the curiosity known as "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" is about to wrap in a few short hours -- all over -- and someone will win. That someone will not be Patti Blagojevich who got out of there last night, after 23 days.

So what have we learned from this show? Many things, and let's go through them now...

1.) The show actually kinda worked for NBC. It got about 5 million people watching on average, which meant this was about the fourth or fifth most-viewed show on the network some weeks! Now, everything's relative -- if this had aired on, say, USA or TLC, it would have been their fourth or fifth most-viewed show, too. On CBS? The 20th...

2.) The Baldwin brothers are insane.

3.) Patti Blago is kind of a trouper. Sure, easy to poke fun at her, but she did do this, and did probably make about $50,000 (a very wild guess, and she may well have made more) for a few weeks work to help her family. Of course, there's always the possibility she'll take the money and stay in Costa Rica, or maybe go to Tahiti...

4.) John Salley still thinks he should have a daytime talk show, but that's not gonna happen.

5.) The Heidi and Spencer stunt-casting was a fiasco.

6.) This show will never have a mass audience appeal.

7.) NBC really is desperate.

8.) We never got the full Speidi Bungle-in-the-Jungle story -- something else happened there that will hopefully forever remain a mystery.

9.) This is probably the last iteration of this show on American TV, God willing.

10.) If God is not willing, and CBS is really desperate in a few years, maybe it will mount a new version.

11.) If that happens, hopefully another governor will be accused of selling Senate seats, and CBS will then have the good sense to film the show in the United States, so a judge allows said governor to appear without fear of flight risk.

12.) Speidi are delusional and terribly, terribly sad.

13.) Al Roker doesn't like Speidi.

14.) We don't like them.

15.) Lou Diamond Phillips is a very strange man.

16.) Jungle cockroaches, when properly basted and sauteed, actually taste like something you'd get at KFC.

17.) Sanjaya probably should let his hair grow back.

18.) Torrie Wilson doesn't look like a professional wrestler.

19.) The fact that a disgraced governor was actually going to go on this show will go down as one of the oddest moments in TV history -- something so bizarre as to be beyond parody or ridicule. Possibly...

20.) The show wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, and some nights it was almost diverting. But then, I do watch a lot of TV and have been known to have sat through entire editions of "Kathie Lee & Hoda," though not without suffering severe psychic anguish.

Clip - Patti from last night...

I hesitate to even post this because this is - after all - the Whole Idea: Get publicity for "I'm a Celeb." But there are apparently some far-flung corners of the blogoverse where this was actually considered a big deal - Al Roker gets annoyed! Imagine!

It's not a big deal. But you be the judge, and hope/pray that the fame clock for this pair just now ticked at fourteen minutes and fifty nine seconds. (But don't be surprised if there are still many minutes left...)

Something very strange is going on down in Costa Rica -- not merely bad TV, or are-they-in-or-are-they-out.

Something, dare I say, that could prove enormously embarrassing to NBC, and the top executives who are in charge of the network, and particularly those who gave the green light to this curiosity.

What could this catastrophe be? I have no idea, really, but to quote the old cliche, "keep your eye on this space." It has something, perhaps -- in fact, certainly -- to do with the newlyweds. Why else -- as the Los Angeles Times just reported -- would top reality chief Paul Telegdy suddenly break up a long planned meeting with producers of the network's show to fly down to the jungle?

Why?

Would Jennifer Bresnan (who I think is still top reality honcho at CBS) skeedaddle to the "Survivor" shoot just to get some sun? Maybe...but at such short and hasty notice? Doubtful indeed.

Something very strange and very not-good is going on, and after all the nonsense with the lovebirds, you are almost left to wonder: Could a major summer reality show get canned even before the final vote is cast, the final rat tail consumed? Doubtful...but.

Of course the two were back last night, with Spencer tweeting, "The devil fooled Speidi in to making an awful decision and we are praying to Jesus to get NBC to give us another shot to redeem."

I wonder... what is really going on.

Hmmmmm.

I wonder.

You all know about the (what I think was fairly harmless) bit that was used on last night's "Tonight Show" - see below. Brian Williams asks the Prez about the "transition;" the Prez plays along.

But, there's more!

During the "Inside the Obama White House" - parts of which aired last night and wraps tonight - there was also a plug by BriWilli for "Saturday Night Live." And top White House correspondent Chuck Todd just coincidentally happens by, while cameras are rolling, to grill a White House press official.

(Oh yes, a plug for "The West Wing," but it's been off the air forever, so that doesn't count.)

--Click here to see the president getting burgers with Brian Williams and our other "Obama, he's just like us!" photos

It's a good broadcast, all in all - interesting and viewers do learn where to get a good burger in Washington. A powder-puff show? Big time, but in fairness, the tradition of these inside-the-WH telecasts on all three major commercial networks going back decades has been the same - they're softies and meant to be and probably always have been.

So this was one was perfect to form. But these little in-show NBC plugs do, I think, push the ol' envelope.

See if you agree: Here's BriWilli asking about "SNL": It's about three minutes and change into this clip...


And go to the jump for other questions that BriWilli planned to ask, but decided against at the last minute - I got this list from my mole deep inside "Nightly News."

Continue reading "Did NBC use Obama to flack other NBC shows? " »

And here's NBC, and here's the biggish news -- "30 Rock" will sit on the bench until those "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update" editions air.

That can't be good, right? Well, it's not that big a deal either: NBC will use Thursday 9:30 to pop "Community," the Chevy Chase/Joel McHale comedy about a community college, while "SNL" airs at 8. Nothing wrong with that move -- networks do it all the time. But they don't always pry out big hits to establish the newcomer; instead, they use the hit to give the newcomer a lead-in. "Office" stays at 9.

When will "30" move back to 9:30? I'm told in the fall, so while the sked below suggests mid-season, technically it'll be back long before. The "SNL" specials will air over about four weeks.

Here's a look at "Community;" schedule follows... (Pix: AP)

NBC FALL 2009 SCHEDULE
*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Heroes"
9-10 p.m.-"TRAUMA"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

TUESDAY
8-10 p.m. – "The Biggest Loser" (two-hour edition)
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. – "PARENTHOOD"
9-10 p.m. – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. – "SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY" (multi-episode run)
8:30-9 p.m. – "Parks and Recreation"
9- 9:30 p.m. – "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. – "COMMUNITY" (moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 p.m. after multi-episode
run "30 Rock" returns)
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Law & Order"
9-10 p.m. – "Southland"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Dateline NBC"
9-10 p.m. – "TRAUMA" (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY
7- 8:20 p.m. "Football Night in America"
8:20-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"

NBC MID-SEASON 2010 SCHEDULE
(2010 WINTER OLYMPICS preempt regularly scheduled programming from February
12-28, 2010)

*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Chuck" (season premiere)
9-10 p.m.-"DAY ONE"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

TUESDAY
8-9:30 p.m. – "The Biggest Loser" (90-minute edition)
9:30-10 p.m. – "100 QUESTIONS"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. – "MERCY"
9-10 p.m. – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. – "COMMUNITY"
8:30-9 p.m. – "Parks and Recreation"
9- 9:30 p.m. – "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. – "30 Rock"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Law & Order"
9-10 p.m. – "Southland"
10-11 p.m. – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. – "Dateline NBC"
9-10 p.m. – "Southland" (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY
7-8 p.m. – "Dateline NBC"
8-9 p.m. – THE MARRIAGE REF
9-11 p.m. – "The Celebrity Apprentice" (season premiere; two-hour edition)

Ah, the new calculus of TV programming at NBC - get on the air, but sing for your supper, too. "Chuck" is indeed back as everyone long expected, but there's a significant quid pro ho - Subway will help pay for it.

As a result, expect many, perhaps thousands, of references to Meatball Marinara, Italian BMT®, Subway® Melt, Tuna, Cold Cut Combo, Spicy Italian, and of course Gay's personal fave, BL. A Subway franchise will almost certainly open in Buy More, while Chuck, Morgan, Ellie et al et al will live- breath-inhale Subways.

In fact, Buy More will be renamed Subway.

The ominous line from the NBC press release: "The multi-platform partnership with Subway will offer a variety of opportunities that will include significant integration into the show, as well as traditional advertising tie-ins. "

Let's all be grateful, OK? At least NBC didn't cut a deal with Viagra.

Janet Mayer / PR Photos

Just-concluded (well, just concluded an hour or so ago) press conference with NBC bossmen Marc Graboff and Ben Silverman has yielded this intriguing nugget: There's an offer on the table, they said, to Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay to return to "SVU."

And - they added wistfully - they hope they return, but show will go on without 'em...

But wait! The show's been renewed! How could it return without its TWO MAIN STARS? Would they have to re-name it? ("Law & Order: SV" maybe?)

The money must be huge; "SVU" is, I believe, NBC's top drama, and each must be pushing $1 million per episode. NBC may secretly hope they walk, if that's the real money. Make Richard Belzer's Munch the lede... (Hargitay, as you are aware, has had health issues, though how serious is a mystery.)

Other news tidbit: The fate of "L&O;," "Chuck" and "Medium" will be known on May 19th, at the official upfront (today was the "infront.") My guess: Mid-season.

"Life," the the way, is gone...

And, if you want to watch clips of the new shows announced today...go here...

Old poster, now new show...

Among the network's new shows? This: "Parenthood," based on the '89 movie, and Ron Howard and Brian Grazer or e-p'ing; Howard was ep of the old Steve Martin flick too...

The cast: Peter Krause, Maura Tierney, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepard, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter, Erika Christensen and Sarah Ramos.

(A tragic side-story to "Parenthood:" NBC's top drama development exec, Nora O'Brien, was on set last week, when she collapsed and later died; reports attributed death to an aneurysm. )

Then, there's "Day One:" ""Day One" tells the story of life on earth following a global catastrophe that has devastated the world's infrastructures. Beginning with the immediate aftermath of the cataclysmic event, an eclectic band of survivors..."

No, this has nothing to do with the old ABC newsmag of the same name, but it sure does sound like "The Day After," the hugely memorable/controversial Jason Robards movie on ABC from 1983...

More, on the jump...

Continue reading "NBC: Peter Krause...Craig T. Nelson...Chevy Chase" »

Will this great actor beat "Gunsmoke?" (Nicole Rivelli/NBC)

...And don't expect to see "Chuck," "My Name is Earl" or "Medium" there either.

The network just sent out its new season release - head to the jump for EVERYTHING - and you won't see those names anywhere on it.

But when NBC does unveil the whole shebang before advertisers in a few hours, I fully expect that they'll all (with the exception of officially-in-limbo "Earl") get mid-season orders. "L&O;" has been a mid-season entry before - though the 19th launched in November - and the same with "Medium" and "Chuck." The trades have already announced that "M" and "Chuck" will be back. They've been notably silent on "L&O.;"

So...should you worry? Maybe: There's always the possibility I will have to retract in a little while though what could I possibly say about the demise of "L&O;," a show that has been part of our lives nineteen years (and mine, twenty-one...another story.)

The problem for "L&O;," and any hour at NBC this fall, is the simple fact that "The Jay Leno Show" will absorb fully one-third of the primetime weeknight lineup...More Jay means less of everything else. NBC can say they're adding shows like "Medium" mid-season, but where will the show go - particularly if everything else is working. That - of course - is the point: Everything else won't be working, which is why you have mid-season shows in your back pocket.

Meanwhile, pickups as expected were announced for "Heroes," "Southland," "Parks and Recreation" and new eps of the "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday" series...Previously picked up: "The Office," "30 Rock," "The Biggest Loser," "The Celebrity Apprentice," "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," "Friday Night Lights,"

Continue reading "NBC: "Law & Order" Not on Fall Lineup" »

'Twas announced this morning, and no, no, no - he's not leaving "The Today Show." That would be nuts...

He has - per the release - "been named host of 'Wake Up With Al,' a new weekday morning program on The Weather Channel. Roker will join The Weather Channel's Stephanie Abrams, who will serve as his co-host...." (NBCUni, as you know, owns TWC).

And more...

"Wake Up with Al will explore all aspects of the day's weather, combining Roker's
warm style with the accuracy, dependability and expertise of The Weather Channel. He will appear both in the studio, interacting with guests and viewers, and in the field, reporting on the most compelling weather stories of the day."

And more...

It bows sometime this summer.

Good for Al: bit by bit, new gig by new gig, new show by new show, he's built a real power base at 30 Rock. (And don't forget that series he's done via his production company, with titles like "Heroin Inc.," and "Marijuana Inc., for MSNBC.)

(Pix: MSNBC)

Gooood afteroon, "Chuck" fans.

We've got a first look at tonight's finale...and that's followed by a "behind the scenes..."

Is this a series finale? I'm gonna venture a wild guess here and say...no. I can't imagine NBC dumping out at this point...

Preview:

Behind the scenes:

They're celebrities but get 'em the hell outta here. (MTV)

Why, why, WHHHYYYY didn't I see this coming?

It was so obvious. So terribly obvious.

Speidi get married tomorrow, then (I suppose for their honeymoon) will do "I'm A Celebrity I want to Get out Of Here."

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (stars of MTV's "The Hills"), NBA great and TV personality John Salley ("Best Damned Sports Show Period"), supermodel and TV star Janice Dickinson ("The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency"), 2007 "American Idol" contestant Sanjaya Malakar, actor Stephen Baldwin ("The Usual Suspects") and professional wrestler and beauty queen Torrie Wilson. Additional celebrity contestants will be named soon along with the hosts of the show.

I now know why "Blago" Blagojevich allegedly shook down people to allegedly make money off of Barack Obama's senate seat - to become a TV star, and ultimately get his own TV show, challenge Oprah for daytime supremacy, or at least Dr. Phil, make millions, maybe even win a daytime Emmy, and then - as a mega-producer, like Ryan Seacrest - seed reality productions.

Then, finally, retire with a hilltop manse to rival Merv Griffin's.

Brilliant. He's gotta beat the charges first. That's the hard part.

But he just told Meredith Vieira that the plan for TV supremacy won't be sidelined by some fussy stickler of a judge...He plans to fly to LA later today to field other TV offers.

In addition...he also said that he may still play a role on "I'm A Celeb Get Me Out of Here!" That judge ruled he couldn't fly to Costa Rica to tape the show, but that's not gonna stop Blago:

"He [the judge] made it clear I shouldn't go, but I'm not ruling out a possibility to play a role in some capacity. Fact is, I'm going to LA and maybe there's some kind of role along the lines of this program. It's an exciting program and unfortunately, I didn't get a chance."

Fascinating: It's like being on "Survivor" without actually being on "Survivor," but maybe competing remotely, via Twitter.

But here's the take-away quote:

Why run around the jungle, Meredith asked? "I have two little girls. Obviously I'm looking for a new line of work...It seemed like an exciting opportunity when the idea [was] presented to me. Being in the jungle, toughing it out, and creating a little civil society and seeing how you can govern that society is not unlike when I was governor of the fifth largest state in America."

I'll leave that thought with you: Being on "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!" is like being governor of Illinois.

[Question: Who voted for this guy?]

(Getty)

John Madden is retiring. Huge news, and please go to Neil Best's extraordinary blog, TV Watchdog, for full details.

But I figured I'd be remiss not to make note of this on a blog about TV. Madden, after all, wasn't just one of the great NFL coaches, but turned out to be an even greater broadcaster. He's been part of our lives for decades, and a very good one. What a loss for NBC, but especially for viewers.

Here's his quote; a conference call is forthcoming...Again, go to Neil for the details...

"It's time. I'm 73 years old. My 50th wedding anniversary is this fall. I have two great sons and their families and my five grandchildren are at an age now when they know when I'm home and, more importantly, when I'm not...

It's been such a great ride... the NFL has been my life for more than 40 years, it has been my passion – it still is. I appreciate all of the people who are and were such an important part of the most enjoyable, most fun anyone could have... that great life with the teams, the players, the coaches, the owners, the League... my broadcasting partners Pat and Al... the production people and the fans...is still great... it's still fun and that's what it makes it hard and
that's why it took me a few months to make a decision.

I still love every part of it – the travel, the practices, the game film, the games, seeing old friends and meeting new people... but I know this is the right time. "

He's a celebrity so please get him outta here... (PIx: Getty)

Rod Blagojevich wants to do what all penny-ante new-found-celebrity celebrities want to do: cash in. But on "I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!" Yes, "IACGMOOH."

Sigh.

Blago Blagojevich may have finally found the show worthy of his talents: He's signed on to appear in "I'm a Celeb..." from Costa Rica.

Chicago's Ch. 2 first (I believe) reported this last night, and herewith the details:

"Blagojevich was arraigned Tuesday on an array of federal corruption charges, including a scheme to sell President Obama's old Senate seat. The former governor pleaded not guilty during a brief hearing at the Dirksen Federal Building.

"The former governor needs permission from U.S. District Judge James Zagel to travel outside the country. He's expected to ask for that next week."

He'll get paid $60,000 if he gets to join up with the rest of the sterling-plated cast.

The media - particularly the tabloid corner - is about to mobilize into full Farrah Fawcett mode, in the wake of that Radar report that she's in a Los Angeles-area hospital "in critical condition."

But NBC probably has the inside track on this story: Just last week the network said it had exclusive rights to the documentary tracking her treatment in Germany, entitled "A Wing and a Prayer." Here's what producer Craig Nevius told (NBCUni-owned) "Access Hollywood:" "Her health and her message have remained [NBC execs] priority, instead of rushing the project to the air or grabbing at headlines. They have respected both her privacy and her creative voice. From the beginning, the network has insisted that ‘A Wing and A Prayer’ will air when both it and Farrah are ready.”

Question here: Have they also purchased rights to outtakes - some of which even appeared on "Today" his morning? Answer: Evidently yes. Of the project, Nevius said this last week: "The film will do what Farrah has always done so well: get people’s attention and get them talking. Those are always the first steps toward effecting social change of any kind."

(Pix: Getty)

Had a pleasant chat last with Chuck Scarborough - the dean of New York anchors and a master in the art of survival, TV-style - and he told me the following: He's staying.

Let me rephrase that: He's not going. Let me be even more clear: Chuck. Stays. At. Ch.4.

As you know, the NBC-owned station system has been in an uproar this week, even more so than usual. LA KNBC vet, Paul Moyer, was shown the door yesterday, while Len Berman - an institution in this town going back a quarter century - opted to leave within a couple months. According to the reports filed by our own Neil Best, the parting is amicable. Moyer, too, insisted to the LA Times that he was "retiring" which is a word that certainly implies he's going of his own volition.

But here's the simple fact: NBC is in a state of great anxiety - panic seems too strong a word, but maybe it isn't. They're now throwing the furniture out the window over at the Plaza and if a body happens to be sitting in that over-stuffed comfy chair, he or she goes too. In mid-winter, at least fifty people - many of their first-raters, including top newsroom editors like Peter Facini (long ago the station's Long Island producer) and Phil O'Brien - were fired or found the door on their own. Any one deemed "expensive" is thus deemed "expendable."

Thus the fear. A report in Gawker earlier this week had both Chuck and Moyer out the door, per "rumors," because they're exclusive members of the $3 Million club. So far, half right.

Here's what Chuck told me:

"No, I think I got lumped in with others somehow, but there's nothing to that. Nary a word has been said and quite the opposite - they've [management] assured me there is not a discussion going on. I've got three years and change as of July left on my contract, and so far as I know, I'll be working [to the end of it] if not beyond. There's nothing in the wind that I'm aware of."

"Do I feel confident? I'd tell you I'd feel a hundred percent confident [but] because the business changes all the time, this is a snapshot of this day. Those reports are completely erroneous and I've been assured by management that they are. They have shed some high-priced talent around the system, and whether they've finished doing that, I don't know. We've cut an awful lot here [as] the business model keeps changing. We're all caught up in this sort of perfect storm of ...a collapsing economy that [affects] your newspaper and my television station."

Yeah, we talked about Sue too.

"I hear nothing about Sue either," and he said they're gonna continue to be a team. "I think it'd be very difficult for them" to drop both.

Then, he got wistful: "If it ended tomorrow, I would be blessed to have been here that long [35 years!] and I have zero regrets, and I certainly wouldn't walk out of here angry. But I have hopes that I'll be at the helm here through the end of my contract."

Do I believe Chuck? Sure. Of course. The real question is this: Should he believe management?

Notwithstanding the obvious reason why he shouldn't - if they could hire a Latvian monk with purple hair and a Cyclops eye to anchor and who would cost nothing but still draw viewers, then...so long, Chuck! But I doubt if they can.

Three reasons why Chuck/Sue stay, and I could be wrong...I can be that way sometimes:

1.) It'd cost 'em around $10 million to cut bait. That's a golden exit ramp, and maybe a prohibitively expensive one.

2.) There really isn't anyone to replace this team; they ARE Ch. 4, and lose them and you become a bowl of oatmeal, indistinguishable from the other bowls of oatmeal out there. Also, Scarborough's a very good anchor - not some blow-dried twinkie - with a vast store of institutional knowledge and "marketplace equity."

3.) Chuck's also anchoring the new 7 p.m. telecast on the digital channel; this is a critical venture and so far, the 7 p.m. hour is pretty much the only reason to tune in; more on this in Monday's Newsday.

Again, I could be very wrong. The ineradicable truth: If Ch. 4 can find a cheaper way to do this, Chuck'll be spending a lot more time out in the Hamptons this summer. A source tells me, "this has gotta be his last contract. And then what..."

Suddenly, "America's Got Talent" - let's face it, kind of a hokey-pokey schtick-fest, with ol' Jerry Springer at the helm - is about to become a very different show.

Nick Cannon has been named host!

I add the "!" because it's kind of impossible to think of NC without a "!"

(Hey, you marry Mariah Carey, and you get a "!" too.)

Here are the quotes from NBC:

"This is just the first of multiple projects we are looking to do with Nick at NBC," said Ben "I Can Party Hardier than Nick" Silverman, co-chair of NBC and Universal Media Studios. "He's a true triple threat, a multi-talented producer, actor and musician. We are excited to welcome him to the NBC family."

"I'm thrilled to be with working with NBC," said Nick "I Can Out-Party Ben Any Day" Cannon. "Ben Silverman understands my vision as not only an entertainer but as a creative show producer. I look forward to working with the network and their executive team on 'America's Got Talent' and other shows to come."

OK, we need a clip. Let's go with MTV's "Wild 'n Out"..." And take it away...!!!!

NBC came back last night with three good and very very heavily promoted fresh episodes of three acclaimed series - oh, and did I add, a night after the Super Bowl. "Heroes," "Chuck," "Medium."

Yet together, they averaged only 8.5 million viewers. Yeah, it's a reasonably big number, but not for these three. The two-hour edition of "The Bachelor," from 8 to 10, easily beat 'em - 11 million viewers. CBS beat 'em all - an average 13.3 million last night.

The good news for NBC - this was its best outing for the night since early November. Here's the key graph from the recent release:

"NBC delivered its highest Monday primetime average in adults 18-49 (a 3.3) and total viewers (8.4 million) since November 3. NBC's 3.3 average for the night in adults 18-49 is up 22 percent versus the network's 'live plus same day' season-to-date average for Monday night (3.3 vs. 2.7)."

Do not adjust your dial.

Do not rub your eyes.

Do not think think you've gone insane, along with the rest of the world.

But ... Susan Sarandon is doing a reality show for NBC. (Yes, we are in a recession - did you hear?)

This is the same network that airs "Momma's Boys."

So, I'm thinking: This cannot be good.

But let's not be prejudicial (shall we?). Lisa Kudrow and Sarah Jessica Parker are also starring.

So, I'm thinking: Not just one career will implode with this, but three.

Details? Who cares!!?? The pertinent ones are that Susan Sarandon is starring in a reality show for NBC. Go to the jump for the network propaganda. But the key facts: Show will be called "Who Do You Think You Are?", and it's coming April 20. Let's see what else ... Oh yes, it's one of those genealogy reality series, wherein famous people find their "roots," and discover all sorts of fun surprises from their dark past. Oprah did something like this. (Or was it Skip Gates? Or both...)

"Additional celebrities" to be announced. With bated breath I await.

(Above: So I'm thinking...why not Tim in this show? Make this a family affair. Even call it "Family Affair." WireImage.com Photo)

Continue reading "Susan Sarandon (!!!) to do NBC reality show" »

Just got off the phone with Sully's San Francisco-based rep (who's been juggling all the media requests), and he's taking some issue with NBC's version of the events.

The events? That Sully and crew are going with "60" and have passed over "Today," after first agreeing to go the ayem show.

His name is Alex Clemens, and he's the boss of something called Barbary Coast Consulting, described as a government and communications strategy firm. He says that he got tied up in this because he knows Sully's wife, Lorraine. And ... he adds, the work is pro bono.

We had a nice long chat, but it's just easiest to give you the written statement, sent to me and other members of The Press (it's long; do you have a couple minutes?):

"On Thursday, January 22, I told my contact at the Today show that the five members of the crew had talked amongst themselves about how they would like to see their story told, and later that day, Captain Sullenberger told me that their collective decision was to start with 60 Minutes, and to then visit each of the morning shows – starting with NBC.

"On a day earlier this week – possibly Sunday or Monday – that same contact at the Today show and I were chatting about a wide range of topics, and he asked me about the volume of requests for endorsements, book deals, and appearance opportunities that Captain Sullenberger had received. I responded with an answer similar to this: “There have been so many requests that the Captain’s family and children yet unborn will probably all attend the college of their choice.”

"For that contact to conflate those two conversations and insinuate that financial incentives were sought in exchange for appearances on one news show or another is repulsive, untrue, and extraordinarily unprofessional."

And...for the record, Clemens says no book deal was cut with S&S; Sully just wanted to go with "60."

....For an irregular heartbeat.

And apparently he's OK.

But - as you're well aware - that is a very serious condition.

And for NBC, not one but three key shows affected - "Deal," the syndicated version, and of course, the new "Howie Do It." The obvious question that'll come up this morning: Is the guy's work schedule a bit much?

Here's the full AP story, if you haven't yet seen...

"Howie Mandel has been hospitalized in Canada with an irregular heartbeat, his publicist said.

Mandel was in Toronto taping his new show "Howie Do It!" Monday when he was taken to the hospital, said Lewis Kay, publicist for the 53-year-old comedian and game show host.

"Howie is in the hospital being monitored for an irregular heartbeat but doctors expect him to be released and back to work tomorrow," Kay said in a statement. "He did not have a heart attack."

Toronto police Staff Sgt. Devin Kealey told the Canadian Press that officers were called to a downtown hotel with a report of a man with a medical condition shortly after 7 p.m. Monday.

Kealey confirmed the man was Mandel, and said he was conscious and breathing when officers arrived. Family members went with him to St. Michael's Hospital, Kealey said.

Mandel, who was born in Toronto, hosts the hourlong NBC game show "Deal or No Deal." His new hidden-camera prank show "Howie Do It!" premiered last week."

Always on the hunt for oddities that are wrapped in absurdities as the networks try to jump-start their stalled '08-9 season, I finally caught up with "Superstars of Dance." Could this be the one - that show so peculiar that even the word "peculiar" doesn't quite work here?

And here's the punchline. It could be - could be - a hit. We'll know more in a little bit when the finals from last night come out, but the Sunday numbers look reasonably encouraging for NBC. But this show, lemme tell you, is strange. To watch makes you feel like you've been sucked into a quantum mechanical wormhole that has transported you to some exotic place in the universe where the lapels remain frightening wide, the idea of "TV makeup" is as alien as moondust, and where "dancing" actually means "the performance of circus acts, sort of, along with bodily contortions that should not be performed without the assistance of an insane person."

Strange. Exotic. Peculiar.

I kind of even like it. More on the numbers when I get 'em.

Yes, yes, yes, yes..

Jay had some jokes in his monologue too.

But we've already heard a couple of 'em, in his press conference today. (Example? That "disgruntled employee" who spread rumors about him going to NBC? "ME."

At least we got one fresh one in the monologue that was taped...ohh..just about 40 minutes ago. Not bad. Here it is (again, do NOT blink...):

When people heard he was going to primetime, they were "shocked...shocked when they heard NBC still had a primetime."

As it turns out, NBC will be able to get the cake and eat it too:

Jay Leno is staying at NBC.

The particulars: Leno, host of "The Tonight Show," will assume a role (presumably a similar one) at a weeknight 10 p.m. show.

Repeat: A five-night a week 10 p.m. show.

An announcement is expected tomorrow.

The Jay-to-Stay deal is certainly a dramatic coup for a network desperately in need of those: NBC has just weathered (barely) a catastrophic fall while a corporate suite putsch last week saw the exit of a top studio exec. At a UBS Global Media conference today, the man in charge - Jeff Zucker - asked (apparently rhetorically), "Can we continue to broadcast 22 hours in primetime? Three of our competitors don't. Can we continue to broadcast seven days a week? One of our competitors doesn't."

He was (of course) referring to Fox and the CW, but for a major full-service network - one whose history stretches back nearly 80 years - to compare itself to the CW would have been unthinkable, if not tantamount to an admission of defeat.

Until recently.

But the impending loss of Leno was considered the straw on the proverbial camel's back. Conan O'Brien assumes the "Tonight" job next year (June 1, or two days after Jay leaves) and Leno was widely expected to leave, probably for ABC - which in turn was expected to dump "Nightline" for a Leno-hosted show. The industry expectation? That Leno would single-handedly kill off TV's second-most profitable franchise ("Today" remains king.) The idea of a Leno-10 p.m. vehicle on NBC has been part of the speculation grind for so long that no one really seemed to believe it any longer.

By staying at NBC, Leno will be a true game-changer. This will mean, in all likelihood, the end of a primetime line-up that has been comprised of dramas, news magazines and reality shows for just about half a century. It will also assume that viewer habits will magically adapt as well - to watch a 10 p.m. show that will probably be not entirely unlike the one they might watch a half hour later, hosted by O'Brien.

Now, of course, the big questions: What WILL this show be about? WILL viewers tune in? And - perhaps the most obvious one of all - what happens when Jay Leno leaves, as one day he of course will?

Meanwhile, a future without Jay at NBC was pretty much unthinkable - for NBC. The idea was in fact floated years ago, when NBC thought of offering David Letterman "Tonight" instead of Jay. Leno fumed and plotted - and famously listened in on a meeting about his fate, per the unforgettable account in Timesman Bill Carter's book on the late night wars. To keep Jay, NBC thought - why not 10 p.m. and Dave at "Tonight?" The idea was ditched, but it never really died.

"NBC couldn't allow Jay to go to another network - most likely ABC - because in their heart of hearts, they assumed that just what happened with Letterman, would happen to them - that the ratings with Conan were not going to be the ratings Jay had - especially if they find themselves in a three network talk show race at 11:30," said one industry observer.

The deal for NBC - at least on paper and months ahead of air - seems very smart indeed. "This is almost free [for NBC]. The hours that they have to program - considering the cost of
a 10 p.m. drama - could cost them minimally $100 million; that's $100 million you don't [now] have to pay in license fees. Then, if you don't have to develop, you're probably going to cut your
development costs. I would say conservatively [the total] would be $150 million. It's not going to
cost them $150 million for Jay."

Another industry executive said, "If Conan does fail miserably, it opens up Jay to come back [at 11:30]. But maybe he kicks but at 10 and doesn't want to come back. But the big discussion is, how will he do at 10? Will it be a late night show at 10? I'd argue it's not a late night show anymore. He'll do the monologue and the Jay Walking, but I'm not sure how much more it can be like ['Tonight.'] Plus, the guests will want to do the earlier show. If I was Conan, I'd be furious."

So, why didn't Leno take this deal months ago, when it was first (as widely believed) offered? In part, says this executive, because of the deteriorating network primetime picture - declining at ABC at 10 p.m., just as its crashed and already burned at NBC. "And knowing the man, I think he was holding out hope that he would still get [back] 'The Tonight Show' and holding out because the ratings [for his show] have been strong while Conan's [on 'Late Night'] have gone down. I'm sure the idea was floated earlier and he didn't accept it."

Big shake-up at NBC last week in the wake of gawdawful ratings and horrific programs and sacksack schedules: Angela Bromstad, whom I know to be a very smart programming exec with a long NBC history, is returning to the Peacock to oversee the wreckage at Universal City.

She'll run the whole shebang - a combined studio and network programming operation - and report to Ben Silverman (who miraculously escaped the ax in the latest bloodbath drama to grip NBC...)

Release is below; this is a huge deal, needless to say, but still...I'm worried about NBC...

Continue reading "NBC Shakeup: Bromstad Back" »

NBC has named David Gregory as moderator of "Meet the Press," just about a half hour before this ayem's edition with Tom Brokaw and Barack Obama.

The appointment is effective immediately.

"I'm honored and deeply humbled as I take on this role," said Gregory in the statement. "I'm
filled with a great sense of purpose as I join a superb team to cover Washington
and the world from a treasured platform in our country. Above all, I want to
make Tim proud."

Tim, of course, is Tim Russert, who died in June.

OK, this is big news, so head on down to the jump for the full presser and I'll update in a bit.

Tom, meanwhile, just gave gracious handoff to Gregory on the air - "it's been a real privilege to be in this chair during this exciting and challenging time" - while Gregory said, "Tim always aid to me as you have - always be respectful but ask the tough question but also ask the smart followup and hold 'em accountable...That's what the program is about...What you've taught me in this role is what Tim has taught me, these are treasured platforms with which you have to pursue a great sense of purpose..."

As you may know, this story broke in the Huffington Post last week, and has been widely reported since. Gregory becomes the tenth moderator of TV's oldest program (61 years old), but in at least one respect, this is the most notable handoff. For all intents and purpose, this has been the very last on-air regular gig by Brokaw - now, one of the last of the legendary anchors who represented a time of real hegemony by the Big Three.

Gregory? Chief White House correspondent and chief stand-in for Matt Lauer on "Today;" he was there, I believe, as recently as Friday. Obviously, he's a talented, smart guy and was at the top of most lists - but back June NBC didn't want to make some fast switch in the immediate wake of Russert's death. Instead, it did the best thing - got Brokaw in on an interim basis.

I just got off the phone with "Fox News Sunday's" Chris Wallace - who held this job for a year and half in the late '80s:. What are the big challenges to this gig? "One are the hours. There are two aspects to the hours - getting up at 5:50 every Sunday morning and even tougher making yourself get to bed before ten every Saturday night. And secondly, though I don't think this will be a problem for David, wh o's a good, serious journalist, you really have to do your homework. You're talking to people who almost always know more about the subject than y ou do and you have to get up to speed so that when they get on their talking points, you can get them off of them."

And...off the phone with George Stephanopoulos - whom some think stands a good chance of building his "This Week" audience as viewers shop around.

I asked him about that and he said: "He's definitely a good broadcaster and a tough competitor. We hope and expect that the intense interest we've seen in politics and public affairs will continue because of the new administration and the intensity of the challenges they face."

Meanwhile...check out George's top ten list, which he posted on his blog. Amusing...

Ten Things David Gregory Needs to Know

December 07, 2008 10:00 AM
10.) Monday night is the new Saturday
9.) Saturday Night Live is a pretty cool wake-up call
8.) Dennis Kucinich is a biter
7.) You'll never have to anchor another car chase -- ever
6.) No more OJ stories either
5.) Remember to wink at the camera when you say "stimulus package"
4.) Never let Chuck Todd drive you to work
3.) Don't sit Doris Kearns Goodwin next to David Broder. Long story
2.) Rapping with Karl Rove is a guaranteed bump during sweeps
1.) Most important, don't forget we move our clocks back next Sunday.

Seriously, David, you're about to get one of the best jobs in journalism.
Good luck (but not too much).
--George Stephanopoulos

Continue reading "It's Official: David Gregory to "Meet the Press"" »

I'm worried about NBC.

No, seriously. I'm worried about NBC.

One of the great broadcasters. An incredible, rich, varied, extraordinary history. Purveyor of so many shows and personalities that American life and culture would be unrecognizable had NBC never existed at all. It's just an amazing, amazing place.

And yet, sometimes I feel as though it's disappearing before my eyes.

Is NBC the General Motors of the network Television world? I'm not sure I'd go that far - yet - but it is very, very serious. In all the years I've covered this network, this moment feels the lowest. So, I'm worried.

Where to begin? With yesterday's layoffs? Or with next year's Leno-to-Conan transition, which will be devastating? Leno will go elsewhere, and with him, the audience.

Or: This week's winter schedule announcement? It is a schedule I could never have imagined, except in parody. Reality shows (two hours of "Celebrity Apprentice"). Shows that appear incomprehensible ("Kings"). Probable junk ("Howie Do It"). Wheezing geezers ("L&O;," but God bless it anyway). Troubled and declining franchises ("Heroes"). Media-coddled-wide-audience-spurned gems ("30 Rock").

Let's go through all this stuff bullet by bullet, beginning with the good news:

* The good news is that in fact "Office" and "Rock" are doing well, relatively speaking, despite the endless and frankly ill-informed hand wringing. "Office" is one of the top-rated 18-49 shows on all of television, and I believe, even tied with "Two & a Half Hombres." "Rock's" performance is up nearly a rating point from last season in this category. There's growth and actually stability here. So, I think part of the picture is bright. Plus, reality franchises - the GOOD reality franchises - seem fine. "Biggest Loser" is in great shape.

* Monday's woes are woeful: "My Own Worst Enemy" held the 10 p.m. hour by a toenail and is now gone; one of the season's best pilots! Gone (soon.) Just like that. The lesson of "MOWE," or at least the one NBC has learned the hard and costly way? Big ticket high concept dramas don't work. NBC bet the bank on this one, and it has sunk out of sight. A real blow to the future of series television on this network. "Medium" is more of a CBS show than an NBC one - there's no natural audience flow from "Heroes" to this. Meanwhile, "Chuck" - a good show that remains ignored. Will 3-D work? For those who have glasses; everyone else will see a fuzzy screen. But here's to gimmicks, if they work.

* Football soon gone. In a matter of weeks, and then...the cliff. "Sunday Night" has been a vast success for NBC - oh, that football lasted all year. Which it doesn't.

* No tentpoles. The tentpole is is the heart of any network - the one true thing that draws audiences, builds circulation, buys time (for the network to launch other shows), adds prestige, creates advertising windfall, gets Wall Street excited, makes the network part of the culture as opposed to just part of a viewing habit - and speaking of habits, changes those too. But there are none. None on the foreseeable horizon.

* The dimming light of new dramas ...Check out the fact that "Knight Rider" - a gloriously awful show - was the only new hour to get an actual additional order, but now, it looks like even that will disappear by Feb. 25 - forever. From now on, I'm not gonna say one bad word about dear ol' cornball "KR" - better to have at least one actual drama with actors, even a massively moronic one, than none at all. I love you, "KR." I really do.

* The struggle of "L&O;:" Speaking of dramas, why can't one of the great classics of network television - "L&O;" - draw a crowd? I think it got around 6.3 mill a week or so ago. Heartbreaking to see this. At least "SVU" remains a draw.

* No new series of any note on the horizon. In a way, this makes some sense - why throw up expensive stuff opposite "Idol?" But at LEAST you'd expect NBC to give some sort of vocal support to new development. Anything!! But, alas, nothing. Where's "Merlin," "The Listener," "The Philanthropist," or that new Steven Weber comedy? Is this stuff still in the pipeline? Or is NBC so terrified of the future - whatever it may hold - that they've been boxed up and packed away?

* The automotive fiasco.This is a terrifying prospect indeed for the ENTIRE media industry. Why haven't big newspapers like the Wall Street Journal gotten into this story? If GM goes under, there is nothing - nothing - to take its place. For much of the history of television, GM has been one of the great advertisers of network television - so vital and so important that I can't begin to even scratch the surface here. More important than Ford. Vastly more important than Chrysler or any of the imports. Along with Bud, GM has been one of the pillars of sports TV - but NBC has only recently figured out how to actually loop GM into the fabric of the PROGRAMS themselves. ("My Own Worst..."). With GM gone...then what?

* "Kings:" Hey, this could be a great show, and I hope it is. And it has to be good because this will occupy the Thursday 10 p.m. time period. But here's my question. Why does "The Office" get the post"Super Bowl" time slot, but not "Kings?" What's the message here - to showrunners and the audience?

So, I'm worried about this great network. Yeah, I'm worried.

And bumped for...egads are you ready for this?...that new dance-off show and the "Moma's Boys" reality series produced by Ryan Seacrest.

Good grief.

But do not worry. (Or, rather, worry, WORRY.) NBC says "Heroes/Chuck" will be back in February - I'm assuming on Mondays, but I learned long long ago - never assume anything in the TV biz.

Go to the jump for the full release on the New Year's schedule, but first here's the key graf...

The two-hour premiere of "Superstars of Dance" - from the producers of "So You Think You Can Dance?" -- will be broadcast on Sunday, January 4 (9-11 p.m. ET)
before the series resumes in its regular day and time on Monday, January 5
through January 19 (8-10 p.m. ET). The new competition series -- showcasing the
world's best and most varied dancers -- will be followed on Mondays by "Momma's
Boys" (10-11 p.m. ET), the new alternative series from executive producer Ryan
Seacrest.

Continue reading ""Heroes," "Chuck" Bumped in January" »

George, George - what's going on? When are you going to step up - or your PR rep step up - and say, "I'm in..."

In at "ER," for what I'm guessing will be a guest shot in the season/series finale in May.

Again, this morning, we have had yet another confirmation that Clooney will do one last favor for the show that made his career. During a quick cross-chat outside the "Today" studio with Ann and Al, Anthony Edwards was asked whether "they" (Clooney and Julianna Margulies, the two most prominent holdouts-to-date) will turn up on the show.

"I'm sure they will," quoth he.

I'm sure they will too. And...when they see how beautifully handled this Thursday's return of Doc Greene is, they'll say: Where do we sign up?

So remember, they will be back on "ER." I'm just waiting for the press release.

This is just breaking as we speak: Michael Crichton has died.

Here's the statement from the family:

"While the world knew him as a great story teller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us -- and entertained us all while doing so -- his wife Sherri, daughter Taylor, family and friends knew Michael Crichton as a devoted husband, loving father and generous friend who inspired each of us to strive to see the wonders of our world through new eyes," the statement said. "He did this with a wry sense of humor that those who were privileged to know him personally will never forget."

Pretty much needless to say, Crichton had a huge impact on the big screen, and a significant one on the small screen, too. Based - broadly - on his experiences in the "e.r.," the show with those two letters became one of the major institutions of television during the '90s, equally (if not more so) important to the fortunes of NBC as "Friends" and "Seinfeld."

If it's Monday - it is! - I'll be off but should be back in time for Giants/Browns and "DWTS." Meanwhile, be sure to check out tonight's new pilot, "My Own Worst Enemy." It's pretty good and seems to contradict, at least for the moment, the generally accurate notion that NBC can't seem to do anything right on the new series front this season. Thanks for checking in...

Meanwhile, here's a "sneak peek" - or, more accurately, a one minute, fifty-three-second long commercial for the show:

Remember how this was going to be NBC's "pilot-free" fall? Where no one would have a clue what a show looked like until it got on the air, and - surprise! - "Knight Rider"! It was supposed to be one of those cost-cutting decisions, in part - that NBC would go straight to series and get the show on the air quickly and painlessly ... without the intercession of stupid annoying critics who compare everything they see to Shakespeare ...

As one pal told me, the NBC strategy was, "we don't need no stinkin' pilots ..." Or stinkin' critics either.

Well, suddenly the missing NBC pilots are everywhere - not quite locusts, but definitely grasshoppers. Check out tv.yahoo.com right now - it IS your lunch hour, after all - and watch that episode of "Sanctuary" that you forgot was on tonight (on Sci Fi), or spend 22 minutes with "Kath & Kim." It's there ... right now ... you just have to click this link ... yes, this one ... and one of the most anticipated pilots (which wasn't supposed to go to pilot) pops up before your very eyes.

Ah, the magic of the Internet.

Here's my insta-verdict on "Kath & Kim": I love it. One of my favorite new series. But don't take my word for it - go to tv.yahoo.com and draw you own opinions. Here's my own quickie caveat on the Yahoo screener: The quality's horrific. Really. That's a problem. At least you can make out the faces and hear the punchlines, though.

In any event, there's no need for TV critics anymore. We've been outsourced by Yahoo.

Thanks, NBC.

Well, there goes the tent.

Neal E. Boyd, the insurance salesman from Sikeston, Mo., won the $1-million pot last night on "AGT." (Tent reference? I bet my last remaining possession on the ill-founded belief that Nuttin But Stringz would win, once again securing my rep as the blogger who calls 'em wrong every time.)

Here's MSNBC's write-up:

“What has happened to my life?” Boyd said with a laugh after claiming the NBC summer reality show’s $1-million prize and a headline gig in Las Vegas.

Boyd, 32, came out on the positive side of what host Jerry Springer called the closest vote in the show’s brief history. He won by less than half of 1 percent over 26-year-old Eli Mattson, a pianist and singer whose bluesy-country style earned him many fans. "

Now, here's an early performance by Boyd -- "Nessun Dorma," from "Turandot." Trick here is to hit that high-C, which he appears to secure not once but twice. Follow this by a performance of same by the world's most famous tenor of the last thirty years ...

Come on! Do you honestly think I know? The guy who predicted Marie Osmond would win "DWTS"...Who bet the ranch on Archie winning "AI"...who was ninety-nine percent positive Gene Simmons would win "Celebrity Apprentice"...

Now, today, I've got a feeling about Nuttin But Stringz...

Those guys are gonna win tonight. I've made my prediction. I've bet the ranch (actually, the tent...the ranch is now gone)...I'm ninety-nine percent certain.

I mean, how could these guys NOT win?

I'm starting a countdown - apropos of nothing other than the fact that one is required to fill up a TV blog with ruminations about TV - to the day when George Clooney finally says "yes" to a final appearance on "ER." He will do it. I am certain. The only thing I can't quite predict is the exact day when his PR man, Stan Rosenfield, comes out with the statement saying something to the effect that GC will in fact make one final cameo ...

... on the show that made him world-famous, started his career and got him to where he is right now. (Other than innate smarts, talent and a good career barometer, which he does have.)

Of course, Clooney could also argue that "ER" wouldn't be around without him, and he might have a point, but not quite as convincing as the one just made - that GC would be an eternal ingrate if he doesn't make one single last farewell appearance, for the sake of the show, his old boss, John Wells, and to those fans who have actually stuck with the series all these years.

So the countdown begins.

Now, you're thinking, "come on Gay. There has to be a reason you're doing this now." And I do have a reason: Clooney led off the terrific "American Masters" series on Warner Bros. last week. His was the very first mug on camera. The very first guy this film by Richard Corliss chose to pick to reveal to the world as a symbol of this empire.

Why Clooney? In part - admittedly very small part - that he was the biggest name outta "ER," which was one of the most successful (arguably the most successful) Warner Bros.' TV series in history.

He sat down to do this interview, which belies the ridiculous quote Stan gave the TV press when "ER" boss David Zabel said recently he hoped to get GC back on the show. '''He is on record as saying he is not coming back," Rosenfield said last week. "It is something he has already done. He is busy making movies."

And busy doing interviews for Corliss.

So what say you, George? A short day doing a cameo for "ER"? Donate your earnings to charity.

The countdown begins.

Funny - or I should say, unintentionally funny - bit on "Today Show" this morning.

Matt L was interviewing Gov. Mitt Romney, and both were talking about that Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin last week. Said Matt to Mitt, "Some have asked her to step aside - Gov. Palin, not Katie Couric..."

And this set me to thinking: What if Matt didn't add that little clarification? What if Romney thought Matt was in fact actually talking about Katie? Can you imagine the who's-on-first cross talk that would then take place? Here's the possibility:

Romney: "It's about time someone asked her to step down. I've had it with her."
Matt: "Really? Does that mean you wanted the job?"
Romney: "Well, I suppose I could have done it; I've got good hair after all."
Matt: "Honestly, governor, don't you think there are other more important qualifications than hair?"
Romney: "You're right. Ha ha. Just look at you!"
Matt: "With all due respect, governor. It's not a job I'm qualified to do, and I don't see what hair has to do with it."
Romney: "Did I touch a nerve?"
Matt: (Peering quizzically at the governor, who by this point is grinning idiotically): "Governor, let's go to the next question..."

And so on.

Sorry I've been silent most of this day, but I've been recovering from Knightrideritis, a kind of perncious adult-onset disease caused by prolonged exposure to NBC's remake of "Knight Rider" -- prolonged, in this case, meaning about four minutes or so. In any event, the reviews are in, and I'm pretty certain we haven't seen a turnout like this since "Supertrain" derailed nearly 30 years ago. Critics love this type of program because it stretches their rhetorical muscles, atrophied after years of having to watch/review comparatively superior product like (say) "Las Vegas." But this onslaught -- pile-on? -- today is remarkable. Go to metacritic.com to get a sampling -- it's fun, and you might even think of things to say about your boss (behind his or her back, of course). Meanwhile, watch "Knight" tonight -- we all need a good laugh right about now, and this newcomer is tonic from the gods.

Above: The Hoff gives thumbs-up to new "Knight Rider."
(Getty Images Photo / Michael Buckner)

If ... in the amazing off-chance you awoke this morning with a hankering for a story about NBCU entertainment boy-king, Ben Silverman, who parties by night, sleeps by day, and works at turning around NBC's besotted prime-time schedule between the hours of 2:45 and 4:45 p.m. (at which point he has to leave those nice tony NBCU offices to get to another party), then have I got the one for you.

It's by Meg James of the LA Times, who does in fact get to NBCU man-king Jeff Zucker, who in fact does NOT party by night because he has to keep an eye on the store while his appointed boy-king is out chasing a leggy blonde.

(And you're asking yourself by now, How do I get a gig like Ben's?)

Anyway, it's a good piece and seems to indicate that Silverman isn't totally to blame for NBC's impending collapse in prime-time because he was told to make these deals for international productions ("Crusoe") that'll probably score very well in Croatia but perhaps a little less well in the United States. It also mentions a development deal for a show called "Zip," about a down--on-his-luck con artist that Silverman greenlit because it was brought to him by the boyfriend of his prime-time overseer, Teri Weinberg. How will that one do in Croatia?

And you're still asking yourself, How do I get a gig like this?

I'm puzzled over the new NBC-iTunes deal. I'm sure it's a good deal for someone - I'm just not entirely sure for WHOM. NBC and Apple, no doubt, or they wouldn't have secured a new agreement a year after the last one cratered over circumstances both strange and inscrutable; after all, by most (let's call them superficial) measures, the deal seemed to be a great one for both companies AND offered NBC a particularly valuable metric to measure show popularity that added an extra dimension to Nielsen's basically one-dimensional portrait. I honestly wonder whether shows - great shows - like "Heroes" or "The Office" would even still be on the air without the iTunes kick ("Office," as you're probably aware, was the "Friends" and "Seinfeld" all rolled into one of the iTunes TV universe.)

And then - kaput. NBC wanted more kickback, dollarwise, from Apple, which resisted. The plug was pulled. And now, the deal's back on track.

But here's why I am puzzled: Is it all a little too late? Hulu.com, after all, offers a pretty rich mix of NBC products right now, and of course it's all for free. The new iTunes deal still requires pay-for-play, and the key advantage (if I've got this right) is that you can buy an episode immediately and not wait days for the Hulu play-back; plus, you've got it on your hard drive forever. Whatever...but who really wants a TV show on their hard drive forever?

Here's the nut graph from the NBC presser, with pertinent details:

"Apple® and NBC Universal today announced the return of NBC programming to the iTunes® Store (www.iTunes.com) including NBC networks' top 10 series available immediately for purchase and download in both standard definition and stunning high definition. iTunes customers can choose programming from NBC, USA Network, SCI FI Channel, Bravo, Sleuth and NBC News including favorites such as the award-winning and critically acclaimed "Heroes,” and the Emmy award-winning programs "The Office,” "Battlestar Galactica” and "30 Rock.” NBCU standard definition television shows on the iTunes Store are $1.99 per episode and HD programs are available for just one dollar more at $2.99 per episode and select library content is available for $.99. Additional NBCU programming from Oxygen, Telemundo, Mun2 and NBC Sports will be available on iTunes soon. "

I can wait.

(Spooky pix courtesy AppleGazette.com)

Last time we heard from Anthony Edwards, he was heading out the door on a year-long trip with his family that would take him hither and yon, far from the madding crowds of TV or "ER," where he made his name and fame. Now he's back, for one episode only: NBC just announced - or I should say, confirmed an earlier TV Guide story - that Edwards will be back in some sort of flashback sequence on Nov. 13. Here's the presser details:

He'll "reprise his role as Dr. Mark Greene for one episode of NBC's long running show "ER" (Thursdays, 10-11 p.m. ET/PT). Edwards will return in the episode entitled "Heal Thyself," which was written and directed by executive producer David Zabel, and will air on November 13, 2008.

The installment will feature Dr. Greene in a series of newly shot scenes that will feature other characters from the show's past while also giving insight into Dr. Banfield's (Angela Bassett) past and her experiences within the walls of County General.

"We had hoped to bring back some of "ER's" stars for the final season and think that our loyal fans will enjoy seeing some of the shows most beloved and memorable characters," said executive producer John Wells. Edwards first appeared in the "ER" pilot and after nearly eight memorable seasons, completed his run in a highly rated episode at the end of the 2001-02 television season. "

I am struck by the phrase "had hoped..." by Wells. Clearly they wanted to get George Clooney back too, but Mister I'm Too Important for TV said no (so far.) Personally, I can't figure Clooney out...One quick shot! One little promotable cameo. SOMETHING. What's the harm in that? This show made him. Where's the gratitude? But Edwards - to my mind - was the life force of this show for many many years; he was brilliant during his run, and Greene effectively defined the show for almost six seasons.

But he's not the only one...who else should return? Here's just a partial list (and since "death" is no excuse, Dr. Romano - Paul McCrane - is on this list too...): Sherry Stringfield...Noah Wyle ...Eriq La Salle...William Macy...Michael Michelle....Ming-Na...and of course Laura Innes...

I'm sure I'm missing someone...Positive I am.

Now, since you've read this far, you are clearly an "ER" fan. So, here's TVZone's Very Special "ER" trivia quiz: Who's been on "ER" since day one, over a decade and a half ago...Go to the jump for the answer...

Continue reading "Edwards, Back to "ER" for One Day" »

("Ari? Yeah, Ben. Lunch? Gotta talk about Vince...Drama too.")

Everybody has been, will be, should be talking about this incredible post on Deadlinehollywood.com this morning, via Nikki Finke who - I submit - really really doesn't like Ben Silverman, NBCU entertainment boss. It's amazing for what it says about stuff that everyone in this business always seems to be talking about but rarely seems to write because (perhaps) they don't want to pay a libel lawyer a thousand per hour. (Unless, of course, it's accurate, in which case, nothing to worry about.) Amazing...and this post predicts that Ben's remaining days at NBC can now be counted in double-digits, if not single-digits.

Coincidentally....Ben has a reasonably amusing cameo on this season's "Entourage." It's one of those blink-and-you'll-miss-it deals, where he utters just this one line - "A &*%$#@ waste of time." It's appropriate to the moment, and involves Drama's refusal to get photographed from his right side for a poster shot for "Five Towns" (and how he later stages a quick escape from his trailer before Silverman forces him to get photographed from the right side.) I don't know if Silverman can act, but if this NBC thing doesn't work out, as Nikki predicts, then why not a full-fledged role on "Entourage." Rather than FIRE Drama, he can PARTY with Drama. Per Nikki, he's already well-practiced in this role.

Good news for "Chuck"-heads: NBC's good sophomore series just got a full-season order (and the season hasn't even begun!) NBC bought a total of nine new episodes, which adds up to a full season. Here's the quote of NBCU evp, Teri Weinberg: "We couldn't be more excited with the creative direction Josh [Schwartz, creator] and his team are executing on 'Chuck.' This show has really hit its stride and deserves a full-season commitment to carry out the producers' vision for this unique series."

You can't let another Olympics slide by without jumping into the mosh pit of NBC criticism. Now, my turn, hours after the closing ceremony which - I presume - featured real fireworks this time.

Criticism of NBC's coverage? What would an Olympics be without it. Here's my approach this morning. I'll break out some of the key points of contention that flared up over the last couple of weeks, then weigh in, offering a grade. Finally, an overall grade.

Here goes:

Too much trompe l'oeil? You know - fake stuff that made the picture prettier. This rap set the pace early on, when NBC was accused to CGI'ng some firework displays in the opening ceremony, to enhance an already spectacular display. Matt Lauer and Bob Costas (sorta) vaguely referred to the fakery, but hardly with enough detail to suggest some CGI effects had just taken over your television set. Apparently CGI was necessary because the shot involved use of a helicopter so safety was an issue. Last night's display? One assumes real, but one should never assume.

My take: If this is the biggest controversy NBC had to face of the games then hallelujah. Most everything on TV is enhanced in some way and CGI is the botox of choice. Faking news is bad. Faking a few fireworks is irrelevant. NBC gets an A for overall technical mastery of the main channel telecast (the only one I - and most everyone else - basically watched) but I suppose we'll just have to give it a D for a few irrelevant minutes of fakery two weeks ago.

Not enough coverage of smog, human rights abuse, those gas guzzling billions, etc. The criticism here is that NBC soft-pedaled all this stuff or flat-out ignored it in favor of stirring tales gold and glory, and that you wouldn't even know such a thing as controversy existed in this country of a billion-three. Moreover, that NBC happily let that all slide because parent GE is so deeply entrenched in the world's biggest market.

My take: Impressions - as opposed to actual specifics - rule in this category and this certainly seems to be an accurate impression especially in primetime (although because GE is so "deeply entrenched" in just about every anther country on that planet that that charge would be leveled even if these things were carried in Burundi.) But also ask yourself this - how much coverage of the "problems" story is justified? A "lot" leads to the charge of piling on, AND detracts from the Games themselves; a "little" leads to the aforementioned head-in-the-sand charge. It seems to me NBC generally took the right approach though could have done a better job of contextualizing the issues for a largely oblivious primetime audience. (Here by the way is that Bob Costas interview with Prez Bush, which delicately explores the incendiary issues.) So NBC gets an overall C + in this category.

The Real Time or Memorex Live time firestorm, in which NBC misled viewers (particularly West Coast ones) with the "live" bug, when in fact events had been tape-delayed. Live or tape-delay is an age-old challenge and bedeviled NBC from Sydney too. Dan Wetzel of well-traveled Yahoo even went so far as to call NBC's coverage a "loser" for this reason. Writes he: "Because I was in China, I didn’t watch NBC’s coverage [but] I can only say from the flood of angry emails it hasn’t improved since the last time I was home for the games. Tape-delayed races plausibly live coverage and covering up Chinese special effects for the Opening Ceremony, NBC is like the China Daily – a state-run propaganda newspaper – of American television. If only everyone could get the feed for the Canadian Broadcast Company, which anyone in select American markets can attest does an exponentially better job of television coverage of the Olympics."

My take: Call me old-fashioned, but I like to think that "live" always means "live" and "delayed" always means "delayed." Honestly, I don't think most viewers care whether something's live or not, and if they care deeply and passionately enough about the real-time results, then a quick google should suffice. But NBC should have just left the "live" bug off all telecasts and push this distracting little controversy off the table and into the round file where it belongs. Grade: D.

NBCOlympics.com didn't offer enough, or scooped the main network (or didn't), or offered irrelevant video, and - besides - Yahoo and others did a better job.

My take: NBCO.com is one of the damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't tales of this Olympics, but it's probably a good idea to remember what this ostensibly replaced - the old triplecast idea, which charged you to watch all the minor stuff and was a disaster to boot. What did NBCO.com do wrong? Honestly, I don't know. This was a big success, and a fix for the mildly obsessed as well as an easy-to-navigate fix for the mildly engaged grazer too. OK, maybe the Really Obsessed did better via Yahoo, but NBCO.com still gets the gold in my estimation. Grade: A.

Patriotic gore, or the treacly rah-rah-go-USA! stuff that inevitably attends the coverage of some event without making even passing note of the fact that athletes from a hundred-plus other countries were winning big too (and China easily beat the U.S. in the gold medal count.)

My take: This is the Olympics! Jingoism is so deeply and inherently entrenched in U.S. coverage of the Games thanks to ABC's far more vigorous flag-waving that viewers would be lost without it. Plus, most U.S. viewers of the Games are light-to-non-existent viewers of sports, or certainly the types of sports on display here. The narrative glue that binds them is the story of U.S. athletes. I give NBC a B here.

And finally...

Overall Grade: B. This is the Olympics. It is our - your's and mine - God given right to criticize the network that broadcasts them, and indeed we should (noisily, angrily, happily, or whatever flavor of criticism we damn well like.) But from a TV standpoint, these Games were a success born of luck (Phelps), technical skill, and a reasonably intelligent and aggressive web strategy. Too much beach volleyball - a sport most of us play half-baked at Jones beach on a lovely August day (and therefore doesn't actually seem like a sport as much as a keg accessory)? Then don't watch - and head over to all the other channels that were airing different stuff. Life goes on. NBC did just fine.

Oh goody, goody, goody -- my sneak-peek-viral-marketing video of "Knight Rider" has just now arrived in my in-box. You too may now avail yourselves of this by clicking on the screen below.

Those clever rascals at NBC have hired a clever outside PR firm which occasionally sends out clips of its new shows to bloggers in the hopes that we'll post 'em. (Free publicity!) In any event, I'm happy to accommodate with this one - a first look at the mysterious "My Own Worst Enemy" (which sounds suspiciously like a show tailor-made for Christian Slater. And guess who's starring in it??!!) Not much about this newcomer at the recent press tour, but I like the look of the clip (appended with a commercial for the new Camaro! Suspiciously Small world alert - I wrote a review yesterday about CNBC's GM special which sure had a lot of stuff on said car; hmmmmm.) Here's Slater in a visit to his shrink. Take a look...

Well, here we go again. Another season of "America's Got Talent."

Just to write those three words - and then think of the prospect of David Hasselhoff passing judgment (along with Sharon Osbourne) on anything or anyone, and the sight of some seriously sad wannabes up there on the stage, causing viewers of sounder mind and body to wonder about their sanity and the tolerance of American television, particularly NBC, to put up anything on the screen these days - sends a cruel chill up my spine.

But whatever. I'll live.

Show's back (tonight at 9), and surprise! It's the same. No change. Some bad stuff. Some amusing stuff. (Check out the dude who dances with a trombone!) Some scary stuff (Romanian twins.) Some good stuff (the violin brothers...) Someone'll win. Fourteen or so million people will watch. The Republic will endure.

Here's a quick pointer about tonight's open, however. You will hear someone, maybe Piers Morgan - another reality TV champ - or maybe Jerry Springer, say that last season's winner, Terry Fator, scored a "$100 million deal, making him the most successful reality show contestant in HISTORY!!!!"

$100 million (over five years?) That's gotta be bogus, you say. And you may be right, or... Terry Fator did indeed get a deal to perform at the Mirage (which will even name a theater for him) a few weeks ago. The source of this sensational information? Robin Leach, who - you will correctly observe - is not exactly Bob Woodward.

In any event, here's the headline. It could be true. I took out my calculator - a dangerous habit - and figured that Terry would have to sell out his theater every night (1,265 seats) at a minimum of sixty bucks per seat. Usual coverage charge at the Mirage? Ray Romano, for example, is getting $121. So this huge deal is, indeed, possible (though you will also correctly observe that Terry Fator is not exactly Ray Romano...)

Go get 'em, Terry...

BTW, here's Terry on "Ellen" last fall...

Tom Brokaw, the next moderator of "Meet the Press?"

Yes, the next moderator. As always, NBC News is luckiest news division - despite what happened last Friday just before 2 p.m. - simply by virtue of having Brokaw on its payroll. Once again, duty calls and if I know Brokaw, and I think I do, he'll answer that call as he's done so many times before.

There are so many reasons why Tom Brokaw should be the next moderator of "Meet the Press" - at least on what might be called a "transitional basis" - that the best way to lay them out is a list, so here goes.

1.) Soothing for viewers AND the network: The death of Tim Russert is, like any death, disruptive, but this one was profoundly so. Russert manned this program for seventeen years and manned it brilliantly. He WAS the face of Sunday morning, to a large degree, and WAS the face of NBC's political coverage. As a result, NBC needs a new face that is also profoundly familiar and trusted. There's only one at NBC which comes to mind.

2.) Brokaw knows the territory. He, like Russert, is an encyclopedia of political fact and trivia, so much so that he's had to bat down rumors for literally decades that he would run for office from home state South Dakota. Moreover, Brokaw has worked by Russert's side, on-screen and off, for nearly twenty-five years. No one knows the rhythm of this coverage better than Brokaw.

3.) No one else is ready. This is beyond self-evident. Of course, there will be the insta-rumor that Katie Couric is up for the gig, but any whiff of positioning on her part will kill this possibility so quickly that heads will spin. Yes, NBCU topper Jeff Zucker wants her back at NBC, or so I believe, and maybe for a role at MSNBC. Katie wants the 9 p.m. "Live" slot on CNN - that I believe too. Now, "Meet the Press" will be considered almost a certainty too. But she won't be back, if ever, at NBC until next year. NBC needs someone next week. The others? Chris Matthews? Never ready for this job - he's too cable. David Gregory? Smart guy and first-rate interviewer, while his agent would dearly love him to replace Matt Lauer one of these days. I say - as good as he is - the guy's got "trust" issues with viewers who are pretty good at reading faces on the tube. Gregory's not ready for this job, and maybe never. Brian Williams? No. Absolutely, no. Viewers - and NBC staffers - will see it as a part time gig for him, and one to which he will devote neither all his time nor energy. He'll fly down to Washington on Fridays, and back to NYC on Sundays; this schedule would devalue his role at "Nightly," and you can't have that.

4.) He'll answer the call. I think and believe Brokaw will. He'll need assurance, and I'm sure get it, that this is only a temporary measure, say for six months or at most a year. He'll get the assurance too that NBC will offer try-outs to others, so that someone else will be ready to step in the moment he's ready to move aside. He won't want this forever, but maybe he'll grow into it. I've always believed - and still do - that Brokaw needs more work, even though his doc unit keeps him very busy. On some level, one that even he won't admit to, he misses the "Nightly" tonic - the stardom, influence, excitement, rush. Brokaw, meanwhile, is a terrific multi-tasker in the game of life: He can work very hard, and play pretty much the same way. (His idea of "play," of course, is running the rapids in some wild river out west.) This shouldn't be a major pull for him, again if it lasts only through election.

5.) Brokaw will get the bigshots to appear. Sure - you say - anyone would wanna come on "Meet." But what about the other Sunday shows? They compete for guests too, and without a major player at the helm of "MTP," those guests may be more disposed to appearing on ABC or CBS. With the eminence at the helm - that would be Tom - "MTP" will be better positioned to meet this immediate challenge.

6.) Brokaw will be handling much political coverage through November anyway - this will make him both sharper, and give the network more gravitas in the process, much as David Brinkley did for ABC News. So, Tom as anchor of "MTP" through inauguration, and THEN hand-off to someone else.

7.) Finally, Brokaw is the choice that will most completely, and most deeply, honor Russert. Yes, I leave this until last, even though it may be the most important reason of them all. There is only a handful of on-air people left in this business who exemplify the glory of the Big Three network news divisions of decades past. Bob Schieffer is one. Russert was another. And Brokaw is the last. It's a very abbreviated list for the simple reason that the heavyweights are all gone. Even Mike Wallace will likely NEVER appear on the air again. "Meet the Press" is network television's oldest program, born in the half-light of this industry's creation. It crept out of the primordial ooze, so to speak, and became, instantly, a vitally important program in news and politics. Russert intuitively believed that, consciously understood it, and adjusted his professional bearing accordingly to meet that vital role. This is why Russert was so successful, and why the mourning that we now see on NBC's air (and elsewhere) is so genuine. There's only one person who similarly understands "Meet the Press's" role and who can meet it accordingly, and imbue it with the symbolism that it so richly deserves. You know by now who that person is.

Well, Tom. What's your answer?

What did I think of "Nashville Star," now in the big house? I'm so glad you asked. What I saw of it was not bad, though one is reminded of the oldest Fred Allen phrase of them all, that imitation is indeed the sincerest form of television. I rarely paid attention during the USA years, but Lord, this show has stolen virtually every single element from "Idol" that it could possibly steal without committing grand larceny (which then would, like, forcing Jeff Zucker before a congressional panel that would wonder how one network could steal from another network so brazenly without triggering some sort of trademark infringement...)

In any event, who cares about that. Jewel? I imagine she was better as a host as opposed to a judge - seemed constitutionally incapable of criticism. John Rich? When he called someone "pitchy," I thought, "hmmm, where have I heard that before..." Jeffrey Steele? Separated at birth from Richard Branson. Billy Ray Cyrus? Thinking to himself, "will this help sell tickets to the movie?"

But here's the reason for this blog entry (and you were wondering, weren't you?) Could "Star" be the first hit of the summer season, and on lowly NBC at that? NBC has already set up a conference call with ejectee Charley Jenkins (above) later this morning. Networks don't do that unless they get a lot of interest from the press - which is more often than not the Internet press, which sometimes knows first-hand what readers/viewers are into.

However....fffffppppttttttt. That's my approximation in print of air going out of "Nashville's" balloon. Fox - which has reason to dismiss this show - just sent out ratings which proclaim "NS" the network's lowest reality launch in THREE years, getting just over a two rating among young adults.

NBC has scheduled a conference call Monday to make what is already the worst kept secret in television official: That Jimmy Fallon will take over as host of "Late Night" when Conan O'Brien heads west next year to take over "Tonight." Many people will - doubtless - wonder about Fallon's talk show chops, etc. You know the gripe: "He's never hosted a talk show...how can he...?" Etc. But NBC does have a pretty good track record at this hour; I believe it's batted a thousand at 12:35 over the last two decades, so I'm assuming it knows exactly what it's doing...

In fact, Fallon brings to mind the guy he'll be competing against - Craig Ferguson, the very gifted "Late Late Show" guy who was a standup, author (of a novel, and soon, his own memoirs). Letterman of course briefly hosted a daytime talker, but he was a weatherguy, for crying out loud. Fallon - I am certain - will do just fine. His biggest challenge: Fergie, whose numbers are building...

As you know, "ER" - NBC's great long-running series - will become its late great long-running series after next season. It's fifteen and done, and yet the 15th looks to be as tough as the first. Everyone seems to be leaving - and everyone who left doesn't seem to want to come back. No George Clooney. No Juliana Margulies. And soon, no Maura Tierney (Abby) after a few episodes next year, and no Goran Visnjic (Luka) either. Yeah, Noah Wyle will return for a handful next year - creater "ER" boss John Wells told reporters a little while ago - but I'm pretty certain he was contractually obligated to do so.

After that? The doors are wide open for anyone who wants to return. Said Wells, "we're beginning planning for the final season and as part of that, we'll be contacting pretty much everyone who wants to come back and do a little spin. We haven't set anybody at this point [but] I'll be asking people that want to come back and be part of the last season."

Good Lord, where to begin? Here's just a partial list from the first season: Clooney (forget Mr. Bigshot),Sherry Stringfield,Eriq La Salle,William H. Macy, Yvette Freeman, Deezer D, Anthony Edwards..and later, Gloria Reuben, Jorja Fox...and later, Paul McCrane. No, come to think of it, dear ol' Paul WON"T be coming back, will he? (What a shame, but malfunctioning helicopters will do that to you.) Howabout Ming-Na, or Michael Michele, and Erik Palladino, and...

Said Wells of Edwards, "I haven't talked to Tony in a while - he and his family went around the world with a tutor and I haven't talked to him since he got back...haven't thought about it. Around Memorial Day, the writing staff goes to Hawaii and sits around and figures out what we want to do for the next year and over the summer we'll start contacting people. Some may not come back under any circumstances, but they're gonna want to know what they're coming back for..."

(Above, George may not be good to go, but what about Tony or Eriq?)

It's here! It's here! I'm so excited my fingers are stumbling over themselves just to get you the news about NBC's spanking brand new fall schedule.

It's kinda early, isn't it? Yes, it's kinda early.

Good news: It won't be wall-to-wall "Deal or No Deal" (at least yet; wait till some newcomers flop, then...)

And the big development: There'll be a spin-off of "The Office," to debut after the Super Bowl. And also kinda big development: There's an "SNL" spin-off, called "Thursday Night Live," that'll air...umm, guess when. The rest of the stuff has already leaked out in the trades.

Herewith details about the new shows, straight from the NBC press release:

The roll-out of NBC's 52-week lineup begins in the Fall, as the debuting drama series "My Own Worst Enemy," starring Christian Slater, joins "Chuck" and "Heroes" on NBC's Monday lineup; "Kath & Kim," a new comedy starring Molly Shannon and Selma Blair, based on the hit Australian series, teams with "The Biggest Loser: Families" on Tuesdays; and on Wednesdays, "Knight Rider" goes to series, building on the success of last February's "Knight Rider" movie, the highest-rated movie telecast on any network in three years in adults 18-49. The mid-season dramedy "Lipstick Jungle" will return in the Fall, also on Wednesdays. Drama series "Crusoe," the hit game show "Deal or No Deal" and "Life" are scheduled to join NBC's Fall Friday lineup. In addition, NBC will introduce "SNL Thursday Night Live," which will share time on Thursdays with "The Office" at 9:30-10 p.m. (ET).

Through the winter months, NBC plans to add to its Sunday lineup "Kings," (starring Golden Globe winner Ian McShane) the ambitious new drama from the producer of "Heroes," along with the returning drama "Medium" and the exciting fantasy series "Merlin." On Mondays, NBC adds "The Philanthropist," a drama concerning a renegade billionaire who uses his wealth to help people. Tuesdays introduces a brand new cycle of "The Biggest Loser: Couples." "Law & Order" returns to Wednesdays for the series unparalleled 19th season. On Thursdays, comedy reigns with the addition of a new series spinning off the NBC hit "The Office." "The Celebrity Apprentice" returns in its popular new format on Thursdays. Sundays will be highlighted by special events, including the "66th Annual Golden Globe Awards," the four-hour miniseries "The Last Templar" (starring Oscar winner Mira Sorvino) and "XIII" (starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff).

(Above, Chris Slater has new NBC series; will dear boy behave and not embarrass network?)

Funny, but here I'm thinking NBCU bossman Jeff Zucker is putting the finishing touches on NBC's all-reality-all-the-time fall schedule (to be unveiled next week; I can hardly wait) and instead I find out he's been taping promos for "My Name is Earl."

It's getting quite a bit of pick-up, which I believe is the intended purpose, and a little bit of criticism (Nikki Finke wondered whether he was insane), which was probably not an intended purpose.

In any event, I think it's harmless. You be your own judge:

That's right. I'm not kidding - like I'd kid about something like this. NBC will announce its fall schedule next week, or about two months ahead of everyone else.

Yes, this is unprecedented and a little nutty, or maybe a lot nutty. I mean: Why next week? What's the logic? Why not the week after? And will we viewers - me and you - really remember any of this six months from now?

Boy, I wanna sip of what they've got in them watercoolers out in Burbank.

Anyway, why wait till next week? I've got the schedule right here, right now (let's just say your faithful correspondent has spies in VERY IMPORTANT places.) Here it is. Don't hold me to this - my source may have been gulping that Burbank watercooler juice for all I know:

Monday: "Deal or No Deal" (8 p.m.); "Deal or No Deal" (9); "My Dad is Better than Your Dad" (10).

Tuesday: "Deal or No Deal" (8); "My Mom is Better than Your Mom" (9); "Deal or No Deal" (10).

Wednesday: "The Biggest Loser: 7" (8); "The Biggest Loser: Mixed Couples;" "Deal or No Deal" (10).

Thursday: "American Gladiators" (8); "American Gladiators: All Stars!!" (9); "Deal or No Deal" (10).

Friday: "The Singing Bee: Moms Vs. Dads" (8); "Celebrity Apprentice" (9); "Celebrity Apprentice:" All Stars" (10).

Saturday: "Deal or No Deal" (encore night.)

Sunday: "Deal or No Deal" (7); "America's Got Talent: All-Stars" (8); "American Gladiators: Deal or No Deal Edition" (9); "Deal or No Deal: Gladiators Edition" (10.)

"quarterlife?" What? You didn't watch it the other night? Neither did 297 million other Americans, which is why it's being shunted over to Bravo from NBC - which plucked it (so to speak) from Myspace.

What's "quarterlife?" It got a lot of ink during the strike in part because of its provenance (the web) and its auteurs (including Marshall Herskovitz, TV/movie scribe superstar.) But it then got a one-night try-out on Wednesday, was seen by just over 3 million viewers (the debate, yes, the debate got more than twice as many viewers), and the hook was produced.

By the way, it's not a bad show - a little too cute and tiresome perhaps, and kind of a rip-off of "iCarley," which had the idea of kids producing their own webcast last fall. Plus, why isn't the "q" capitalized? (cuz it's a web show - get it?) Oh well - it'll work fine on bravo, i imagine.

And...we now have show return dates from the Peacock. Yes, I've noticed a trend here too: Looks like the bulk of returning faves, etc. will arrive in April, just in time for May sweeps.

Don't worry if you don't see something you love/cherish/miss-desperately below. Here's NBC's qualifier: "Specific plans for other NBC scripted series are currently being determined and
will be announced later."

Here's what we've got so far:

"My Name Is Earl" (Thursdays, 8-8:30 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 3 with one-hour episode

"30 Rock" (Thursdays, 8:30-9 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"The Office" (Thursdays, 9-9:30 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"Scrubs" (Thursdays, 9:30-10 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"ER" (Thursdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Tuesdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 15

"Law & Order" (Wednesdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 23

Well, here's another thing that happens when you win "The Biggest Loser:"

You get milk.

(And yeah, it's apparently fat-free, or low-fat; you'll have to take the ad's word for it.)

Here's the caption for yet another edition of the famed "Got Milk? campaign (Sorry for the crop, but at least you get the general idea). So far, it's run in just one paper - USA Today": "The Biggest Loser Shapes Up with the Help of Milk. Last night Bill Germanakos was named the winner of NBC’s hit show 'The Biggest Loser.' Bill lost 164 pounds and appears in his very own Milk Mustache ad to boot. He knows that filling three glasses a day with lowfat or fat free milk can help him get the calcium, protein and nutrients that are important when watching calories, plus along with exercise, the protein helps build muscle."

Yup, "Law & Order" is good to go too - strike or no strike.

NBC said the veteran (very veteran) and very nearly extinct classic will return next month on Wednesdays, Jan. 9, at 10, with a lead-in from "L&O;: Criminal Intent" at 9. So...we've got a two-hour "L&O;" block. Noted.

We've got the usual cast back, with of course, necessary changes: Linus Roache joins as ADA cus' Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston) is bumped up to DA cus' Arthur Branch is running for president (and the Iowa caucus is just around the corner.) Interesting behind-the-scenes addition: Rene Balcer is show-runner, or - should I say, was, considering the strike and all. Balcer's one of the stand-out "L&O;" producers of yore, and his "L&O;" won a best-drama Emmy way back in the mid (or was it early?) '90s.

Oh, yes, and how could I forget? Jeremy Sisto will join the show too - as Dect. Cyrus Lupo to Jesse L. Martin's Edward Green. And...on "CI," Mike Logan (Chris Noth) is back.

No word on how many episodes were in the can pre-strike, but "L&O;" was a limited order to begin with, so my guess is that it's just fine.

Say what? NBC News is not paying for an interview with Paris Hilton, after all? In the wake of that sensational New York Post article - actually, printed allegation - that's the final outcome? No payment, but (almost certainly) an interview?

[And if you're just tuning in now, check out TMZ.com, which is reporting that NBC has pulled the plug on the interview. But just in case it hasn't, read on...]

Confused? Of course, and a glance at this morning's headlines won't help. All they can tell you is that there was a huge fire yesterday in medialand that NBC managed to douse just in time for the final editions. The NY Post provided the match, claiming that NBC News was to pay a million bucks to Hilton for an interview on "Today" (performed by Meredith Vieira) after her release from jail. ABC News - who knows? Maybe the original leaker? - was infuriated because it thought Babs Walters had her locked up (no pun intended, seriously).

This was all sensational because a.) it was Paris; b.) Babs was angry again, just weeks after the Rosie fiasco, and c.) this involved a news division which is now in the throes of a brutal NBC 2.0 scale-back, which has meant the firing of everyone from Stone Phillips on down. At this rate, the only two employees left at NBC News in a few years will be Brian Williams and Tim Russert - but at least they'll always have Paris. And finally, d.) This promised to be the most revolting instance of checkbook journalism in thirty years, or at least since CBS News paid for Bob Haldeman's memories of the Watergate story back in the early '70s (after which the networks decided that maybe checkbook journalism wasn't such a good idea after all.)

NBC News ducked reporter questions all day, then finally, around 5:15, issued this: "NBC News has not and will not pay for interviews." Why it should take all day to deliver this remains a mystery, but that was it. Fire out. No story.

Again - not quite. Both the LA Times and Washington Post report today that the likely outcome of all this could be one of those fig leaf entertainment deals, in which the celebrity promises an interview to the news division, but gets paid - in effect - by the entertainment division. A sensational example of this form of footsy took place at Fox recently, when Judith Regan managed to justify a huge payment to O.J. for a tell-all book in return for a primetime interview. NBC paid a couple million for the concert that also netted news interviews with a couple heirs to the crown. There are many other examples, and they almost always make the networks look sordid, crummy, sleazy and craven.

A "multimedia" deal will almost certainly happen here too - unless Leslie Moonves (CBS) or Bob Iger (ABC) step up and promise her a primetime series ("It's the Paris Show!" Thursdays at 9, 8 central time) or a Disneyworld attraction ("Paris Hilton Space Mountain").

Why is all this appalling? And why does it make NBC News look so bad, even if news doesn't technically sign the check (which is a mere and irrelevant formality anyway?) Tom Rosenstiel, executive director or the Project for Excellence in Journalism, explains:

"The argument against paying someone for their story is the argument that you're creating an incentive for them to say something that isn't the truth. You're negotiating with them, finally, over what they're going to tell, [or] 'if you're not going to talk about that, we're not going to pay you as much.' You're negotiating over a product and that creates an incentive for people to hype the product. If you say, 'the reason you should talk is you can get your story out' then...your relationship [with the source] is completely different. You're no longer vested in the story being a certain way."

Naturally, there are other reasons why the process is outrageous - and don't forget, we're talking about Paris Hilton here. The money that is ultimately paid to her will be money that NBC News - already depleted - will not use to cover Iraq or a million other stories, large and small, that go by the boards each and every day. It'll diminish NBC News even further, to a point one day when the fig leaves will be dispensed with altogether. It'll be naked news, all the time, metaphorically speaking. Other Paris'-of-the-future interviews will lead "Nightly;" "Extra" (also owned by NBCU) will have additional outtakes. Vieira, if she's still around to stomach this travesty, will post additional footage on the "Today" website; "Dateline" will do a series; the life movie will air in sweeps; a Universal theatrical (which Paris-of-the-future will exec produce) will be released the following summer; while Bravo, Sci Fi, and USA will each air interstitials promoting Paris-of-the-future's new line of cosmetics (underwritten by GE, which will suddenly find itself in the cosmetics business.)

The news division - in other words - will no longer be a "news division" but a division that enables or promotes the profit goals of all the other divisions, while pretending that it's still in the news business, which - of course - it will not be.

And speaking of GE, no wonder it's thinking of dumping NBC. The future looks like hell.

And speaking of NBC's future, this is it...(from askmen.com)