The TV Zone

See? Toldya...Courtney Galiano's still in "So You Think You Can Dance."

(Actually, I sort of predicted her demise tonight, but there is a little-known TVzone law: When I make a dancing show prediction, it is almost certain to be wrong.)

Here's the brief I wrote for tomorrow's paper; don't have time to write an actual blog because I have to watch the end of "Burn Notice." Adios, my friends...

"Courtney's still in it.

Commack native and Knick dancer Courtney Galiano, 20, kept her run going last night on Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance." She is officially one of the final five, a pretty good spot to be on a show that takes dancing a lot more seriously than the bigger ABC hit, "DWTS." Her survival wasn't the biggest surprise on TV this summer: She's consistently good, but hasn't been frontrunner,as far as judges or fan polls are concerned. Twitch Boss, break dancer extraordinaire, will also move on.

You don't know who Courtney is? An introduction: She lives in Dix Hills, is a professional dancer, and - as she says in an interview on Fox's website, "I am a dancer for the New York Knicks [and] I get to dance in front of people all the time!" The show's finale airs next week, and there are so-called "front-runners;" Courtney is not among them. Favorites, among judges and those pesky fan polls, are Joshua Allen and Katee Shean."

[But seriously, Gay, what do you know about dancing?]

Man, it's almost impossible for me to figure this out, but if you like to rely on hunch, intuition, buzz, watercooler philosophizing, and pure old-fashioned take-if-for-what-it's-worth guess work then I'd have to say the end approaches for Courtney Galiano, my favorite dancer on "So You Think You Can Dance" for the simple reason that she's from Commack.

Honestly, I have no way of knowing, and students of my dancing guesswork (see: "DWTS" prognostications) know that I'm almost always wrong and outrageously so (with at least one exception, I'll admit.) But Katee Shean seems so incredibly far ahead in the conventional wisdom department that it'd be a big "SYTYCD" shockeroo if she was derailed tonight, which almost certainly won't happen. Anyway, take a look at the series of polls - if you haven't already - that TV Guide's been running. You will notice a pattern... How was Court last night? Great. But then she always is. We'll see...

Remember Luke Russert? Of course you do: He's the poised and articulate son of Tim Russert and the kid who spoke so movingly at his father's memorial service. He now has a job working for...guesses?....go ahead, take a while stab at this...come on...You can do it...

That's right: He's joined NBC News as "correspondent at large" covering youth issues during the network's coverge of the 2008 political conventions. Why not Luke? He's obviously a smart chip off the old block although there was a little controversy about this a couple of days ago when rumors began to spread. Apparently he was photograhed with a bunch of young ladies in a hot tube (all in bathing suits) and the shot was thus pasted onto a facebook or something or other. Apparently some people were shocked, shocked, that such things happen in college.... (He went to BC.)

"I am extremely humbled and grateful that NBC News is giving me this opportunity," he said in a statement. "I believe youth issues will continue to play a significant role during this election and I want to do my part to report them honestly and objectively."

This is, by the way, a fulltime gig. An NBC spokeswoman just emailed to say "he will continue to work with NBC News beyond the election as a correspondent at large, focusing on youth issues."

NBC, meanwhile, said it'll devote a total of 200 hours of coverage (across all networks) to the convents.

If you missed this morning's "The View" it's well-worth clicking here to watch the Katie Couric Interview; no news out of this, per se, but she has an amusing riposte to all those who would criticize her (The small ad at the outset is the price to pay here...) Notably, she's saying - yet again - that there are no plans to leave after the election, and when she says it, she's convincing. But...when Babs Walters asked her about her intention of staying the full length and breadth of her contract - the right question, by the way, from a pro - then Katie is actually thrown for a loop. Well...she shoots her eyes over Babs' head, searches for words, and otherwise offers a book full of body language that pretty much says, "no, I'm not..." These are interesting times for Ms. C: Her show's good, she's good, and if you didn't read the press (virtually non-existent these days save for a "Page Six" brief earlier this week which noted that she won't leave because CBS won't pay out her contract - exactly what YOUR'S TRULY has been reporting for MONTHS) you'd think everything was peachy. But I imagine it's not. This is Katie, after all. She's not happy, and that's just the way it is...Nevertheless, I'm beginning to believe her on this point - she's not going anywhere soon, and there's no compelling reason why she should.

The "Judge Judy" video has been everywhere - I know - but I kind of like the one KCAL aired of this last night. After JJ scampered under the desk - no doubt coddling her gavel and a bottle of gin - the courtroom cleared out and the plaintiff/contestant just stood there, waiting for the Judge to appear and hand down her verdict. (Who cares about the stupid earthquake, you can almost hear her thinking. My numbskull ex owes me a new cat!!) It's pretty funny and if you haven't seen, worth a watch...

In my continuing and unashamed efforts to promote "Mad Men" - great show, have you heard? - I now post this trailer or "sneak peak" of this Sunday's second episode. It's thin gruel, I'm afraid, and barely - and I do mean barely - hints at what you'll see this weekend, but (for us hardcore fans) something's better than nothing...

This is bad. This is really bad. Nothing on TV (you're thinking). I'm stuck here in office (you're thinking). And summer's halfway over (you're thinking). And still nothing on TV. So bored that I've come over to TVzone to see what this Gay Guy has got.

So, I'm here to provide some relief in these slow, slow moments. Here's my own personal list of TV-related stuff to get excited about (or perhaps not) over the next few days. This is just what comes immediately to mind. I'll add to the list when something else pops into my midsummer-addled brain ...

* Lewis Black's Root of All Evil - second season begins tonight (10:30, CC), and whether or not Black is your cup of whatever, he does assault two assault-worthy targets tonight -- ultimate fighting and blogs, which we're told, are "nothing more than the collection of pointless personal minutiae and the blogger's cat dressed as Harry Potter ... They've reduced us to a first-draft culture...they're the root of all EEEEVILLL."

* Press release from Cartoon Network or SOMEWHERE announcing that the skinned and mutilated cat that's been on Gawker.com all week -- the so-called Montauk Monster! -- was really just a slick promo for a new show, and that "no animals were injured in the production of this slick promo..." Don't know what I'm talking 'bout? Head over to Gawker, which has gotten more traffic over this one item than anything since the post announcing Britney and Lilo were having an affair ... Everyone's got a theory, but yesterday Gawker decided it was the victim of a CC hoax. Ah, summer on the beach ...

* "Pam Girl on the Loose," E!, Sunday at 10. TV this bad doesn't come around often, and you have to watch this to prove all your theories that the world is going to hell and justify to your spouse why you just demolished the expensive new flat-screen with a sledgehammer. She/he will wanna know and you'll sputter, "Girl...on...the...LOOSE!"

* Jurassic Fight Club: What a rip. This aired last night and I tune in expecting to see some new and toastier version of EliteXC and it's about dinosaurs. "When you look at the skull of a majungothulus, it's designed like the head of a big horn sheep.." Not excited about this anymore...

* Courtney Galiano: This is big. This is very big. Tonight's the pre-finale finale of "So You Think You Can Dance," and then it's all over next week. Commack Courtney is among the final six, and is a terrific dancer, and may well end up the winner of this whole shebang. We await.

* The Olympics: Nine days, 10 hours, 15 minutes...20 (give or take) seconds...until the summer event of all events. I can await...I can await...I can't await...I can't await...

Of all the "Lost"-related infonalia (that's a new word I've JUST coined - for "information paraphernalia"; you may use it if you like) out of Comic-Con the past few days, I believe the most interesting tidbit is this: Could Mr. Eko return?

The possibility was raised during an "EW"-sponsored discussion with Darlton (Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof) who explained (as I believe they did at TCA) that being dead in the "Lost" universe doesn't actually mean being "dead" in the everyday universe. Of course, "Lost" fans well know this but the applications as far as return appearances by the dearly departed haven't been fully explored. When asked whether Mr. Eko -- Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, or Triple A -- might come back, Cuse almost seemed to hold out the possibility: “Hawaii was not his bag. Real life intervened and forced us to end the arc of that character much sooner than we would have liked.”

It wasn't his bag because he was arrested and thrown in jail for one night (released next morning; no charges; didn't have a license) and -- I believe -- he had family problems back home in England, too. He was written out, or -- to be exact -- smoked by the Smoke. But as fans know, Mr. Eko's storyline ended before its time; there is much to be resolved, much to be explored. He was a great "Lost" character and his absence remains keenly felt.

What's Triple A up to? He'll star in a live-action "GI Joe" and he's also in Sundance's Annenberg Fellows Program, for which he produced an autobiographical film, titled "Farming," about how "a young African boy abandoned by his parents desperately searches for love and belonging within a brutal skinhead subculture where violence becomes his only companion." Should be out sometime this year.

(ABC Photo)

Here's the value of good, even over-the-top, press: You get solid sampling. "Mad Men"opened its sophomore season with just under 2 million viewers, per prelim estimates, which is not a spectacular figure by cable standards but a reasonable one. This is -- as this morning's press reports point out -- double last season's average.

However, here's the question: Why not more? After all, "MM" did have about 1.6 mil viewers for its debut episode (on a Thursday) last season, so you might say it only bested its first season premiere by three or four hundred thousand viewers. "MM" still hasn't slipped into pop culture consciousness, which may be corrected when it wins best drama at the Emmys in September. My prediction: It should grow through the year, but will face off against big network guns when originals start slipping into place on Sundays this September. That could be a challenge, much as it was last year. But a great show well worth watching can sometimes overcome that obstacle...

Here's big news in the TV tab world: Mario Lopez will become the new host of "Extra" this fall. He's a better dancer than outgoing Mark McGrath, and -- I'm assuming -- he's better ratings bait than his soon-to-be-predecessor as well. (Mario's been on the show for a while, anyway -- weekends, I think -- so this isn't that big 'o surprise...)

Meanwhile, the five Emmy-nominated hosts of the five biggie reality shows will host this September's rilly big Emmycast....WhooPEE!! (Now I'm really gonna watch...). They are...Tom Bergeron (“Dancing with the Stars”), Heidi Klum (“Project Runway”), Howie Mandel (“Deal or No Deal”), Jeff Probst (“Survivor”) and Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”).

I'm assuming, though, that Ry is day to day because of the shark attack.

(Above, Mario next anchor of "Extra;" Karina is not...)

Old news for fans of Ryan Seacrest's ayem national radio show, but everyone else will be appalled, or delighted, to learn that Ry was attacked by a shark over the weekend. (Details provided by Us Mag, and linked by the indomitable TVtattle.com.) This is serious: Ry was in the water when he felt a sharp pain, or some such sensation, when he turned to watch the jaws of DEATH clamping on his right shoulder. He instantly recognized Simon Cowell...

Ba-dum...

No seriously, it was a shark. Ry said it was. How big? Hold out your hand. Now stretch the fingers. That's right...that big. Poor Ry. What's a guy to do? Announce it on your national radio show. Here are some outtakes, with elaboration by moi:

"I thought it was a stick," he said.

[Maybe it was a stick?]

"I wasn't sure what had happened."

[Then why announce to the world that you were mauled by a Great White?]

"I saw it swim! He took a bite, and he left." Ry then found the tooth embedded in his leg: It "wasn't a great thing to find. It was like finding a splinter!"

[Again, maybe it was a splinter. Ry, DO you know the difference between a piece of wood and a man-eating scavenger...Oh, wait -- I forgot. You DO work for Simon.]

He was "in pain."

[I'm in pain, too, just reading this. But I don't think I've been attacked by a shark in the past few minutes.]

Though mauled and in shock, Ry still found that ol' reliable sense of Seacrestian humor:

"There were like 1,000 people in the ocean, and I get bit by the shark!"

[Let's put it this way, Ry. You're a shark - assuming this wasn't just a block of wood -- and you have the choice between snacking on a guy who once used to say "SEACREST OUT" or snacking on someone who's the office manager for a personnel agency in Redondo Beach? I think I know who YOU'D attack, too.]

(Pix, Courtesy The Discovery Channel...)

Mark Whitaker, well-known member of the D.C. chattering class, longtime Newsweek editor and an NBC News exec last coupla years, was named NBC Washington bureau chief a little while ago. Significance thereof? Tim Russert, who died in June of a heart attack, was the longtime NBC News D.C. bureau chief and invested this gig with a fair amount of symbolism (internally at NBC News) and a fair amount of power as well. Said Mark in a statement, "I am honored and humbled to succeed Tim..."

I've finally had a chance to catch up with that Charles Van Doren "personal history" in this week's New Yorker though "finally" implies that I was just waiting around to find time for it. In fact, I didn't know about it until about ten minutes ago, and have skimmed, and will quickly report on what's most remarkable here - aside from the fact that he's actually written something about himself and his deep past.

Some background: You know of course that Van Doren was the quiz show scandal man, whose plunge from grace and fame (in the late '50s) was one of the epochal events of the post-war century. I make no exaggeration on this point: To millions, Van Doren was an icon, whose brilliance and erudition were almost an affront to the Soviet demagogues who would have Americans believe that the great intellectual advances were now their due, as opposed to the Sputnik-humiliated Yanks. When Van Doren fell from grace - he was fed answers on NBC's "Twenty-One" - a generous chunk of Eisenhower-era hope and promise plunged off the pedestal with him. (Books have been written about this, pointing to VD's disgrace as almost the beginning of the '60s) So to read Van Doren speak in the pages of the NY is true TV history, for this is a man who (to my knowledge) has never written or spoken in a public forum about his humiliation, ever. After the scandal, he skeedaddled back up to Litchfield county (though later taught, and had a distinguished career at Encyclopedia Britannica in Chicago) where he maintained a studious and hermetic silence.

The big news from this piece: That Van Doren considered going back into TV in the early '90s, when a producer for WGBH approached him about cooperating for a public TV documentary on the quiz show scandals (I recall - assuming my recollection isn't that faulty - that I reviewed this favorably for Newsday.) The producer, Julian Krainin, suggested he might host "Connections" or "The Ascent of Man;" Van Doren suggested an idea for a series on great philosophers (good idea, by the way, though only about 28 people would watch...) That was a no-go.

(And this mini-newsbomb: He turned down a $100,000 "consulting" fee to work on 1994's best-pix Oscar nominated "Quiz Show;" family thought it'd be a bad idea to take the money, though he confesses to liking the film...)
My impression of the piece: Slight disappointment mitigated by the astounding fact that Van Doren has actually written something detailed about the scandal. I suppose I was hoping for something deeper - a "meaning of it all," or breast-beating of some sort, though I will go back and read it more thoroughly (and reserve the right to change my opinion.) It ends almost cryptically, when he relates a story about pulling out a gyroscope from some toiletry kit, and "as I looked at it, I said, 'thank you' - to it and to my father and mother and to all the other people who helped us to survive."

Whatever. It's still an amazing piece - read it if you've got a minute.

(Above pix: The famous Time cover; Van Doren, doing an acting job on "Twenty-One," and below left, Ralph Fiennes doing a much better acting job in the brilliant 1994 movie, "Quiz Show.")

Worried about Ed McMahon? Worry no more: The late great sidekick of (the late great) Johnny Carson has scored a job with Jimmy Kimmel, as pitchman for a series of live Pontiac commercials that'll air on tonight's show; there's a series of four, but - who knows - if Ed moves some cars off the lot, I can see many more of such commercials down the road. Before you scoff (commercials!) consider - Ed was a pitchman almost before he started walking. It's in his blood, and he's done it for so long and so well, that he's probably moved a billion dollars worth of stuff over the decades (my own hazardous guess...) The commercials tonight on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" are live, so no clip, but the above is an ABC photo of what I presume to be of some sort of rehearsal. Meanwhile, Ed is also starring (per IMDB) in a bit part for an independent movie that's directed (and written) by artist Sarah Louise Wilson, entitled "Jelly." (Necessity breeds strange bedfellows...) Otherwise, Ed's roles look pretty sparse. As you know, McMahon recently broke his neck, and the repo man has come knocking. He's apparently in desperate shape. Great credit goes to Kimmel to help pull him out of his current straits. ABC says the ads " featuring the Pontiac G8, G5, G6 and Vibe...will appear at the start of 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on Monday, July 28 and on Wednesday, July 30, with more appearances scheduled for the month of August."

(Above: ABC photo by Jordin Althaus.)

Watched some of the Big Three Obama coverage this week - sure you did too - and thought it was pretty good overall; not as much of the on-bended-knee variety that I anticipated. But if you want a reasonably concise recap, here's the "Daily Show" overview; I think it hits on most of the high/low points in this end-of-week summary. Be your own judge...

File this one under a "worth noting...: "The Evening News with Katie Couric" will finally go hi-def on Monday. Eureka! The reason why "EN's" ratings have been in the dumpster for so long - the PICTURE"S FUZZY!!! It had nothing to do with the anchor, after all. The last of the Big Three (I'm pretty certain) to sharpen up its image will be, in fact, "EN." This is the beginning of the beginning, Katie. Dress pretty on Monday. (Note: Purples and chartreuse do not wash out well on Hi-def; in fact, they don't wash out well on low-def either; please stick to reds and blacks...)

Take this for what-you-will, but EW's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Ro O (Rosie O'Donnell) is in "talks" with NBC to host a primetime variety show. Good scoop, but I wonder: Didn't NBC and Ro CONTINUE talking about something even after that primetime MSNBC talker cratered last year? My recollection was that MSNBC - building and building and building numbers - didn't need or didn't want the disruption she would cause. "Disruption," not of the personality kind - although that's a very very very real issue with her - but disruption to the scheduling kind. Plus, physicists tell me that it's utterly impossible to have Keith Olbermann and Rosie O'Donnell in the same building because the nuclear fusion of two similarly vast egos would cause an atomic cataclysm that would devastate all of Secaucus.

So, MSNBC pretty much was out of the question.

(Also, Ro, who is delightfully impetuous, told some fans down in Miami that she was close to some big deal with MSNBC, and hell hath no fury like a network that doesn't get to make its own announcement.) But they kept talking about some sort of NBC deal, and as Mr. Scooperoo points out, it's heated up again. Variety show? Whatever. We'll see if this happens. I'm waiting....and waiting...and waiting...

"Life on Mars?" (you reasonably ask). That's the new ABC drama that originally was worked over by David Kelley before he was dropped (or dropped out) and is about cops in NYC in the early '70s (specifically, I believe, 1973). "The Piano" man Harvey Keitel has joined the cast, per TV Guide - confirmed last night by ABC. Based on the Brit drama of the same name, it's about a modern-day cop who wakes up from a coma to find himself in the city that's suddenly dominated by two huge towers downtown. At the recent press tour, veteran showrunners and bosses of "Mars," Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec were, in fact, asked about the hugely symbolic towers - they were hugely symbolic back THEN, too, of course - and how they'd be incorporated into this show, which will shoot in New York. All they said was, they were aware of the WTC question, and were looking into it. Show also stars - as you may know - Jason O'Mara and Michael Imperioli. Latter sported a beard and very bushy sidebars when he turned up at the press tour.

Yeah, Courtney's still in it. Courtney Galiano - Commack's (and I suppose, Dix Hills', too) own. As promised, I'm keeping track of "SYTYCD," for the next two weeks, because someone from Long Island -someone very good who stands a very good chance to win - is still in it. "SYTYCD" certainly doesn't have the big audience cache of "DWTS," but in some ways (energy, originality, better contestants) is a superior show. So, let's see what happens. Court (19) easily made it to the top six, but who knows what "easily" means cuz no vote counts are revealed. Plus, like all these shows, curves are thrown. Twitch Boss landed in the bottom four, but he's one of the best of show, so who knows. Meanwhile, Comfort Fedoke, 20, of Dallas got voted off for THE SECOND TIME in ONE season. Not sure, but that's gotta be some sort of Guinness Book of Reality TV Shows record. (Also gone - Will Wingfield, Court's partner since Gev...) Let's see...besides Court and Twitch, who survived, the other finalists are Mark Kanemura (24), Joshua Allen (19), and Chelsie Hightower (18). Funniest - by far - part of last night's show was LL Cool J - "funny" only because I'm SURE Fox had no idea what he was gonna sing, and probably never heard the song "Baby" before either. 'Cuz if they had...I wonder what they'd think of lyrics like this? "...Met this little girl, she was off the hook/I got cold chills when her body shook/Hot sex on the platter no need to cook/I let her steal my heart like a horny crook/Had her grinding and winding against my leg/She messin with my head, wanna play in the bed/Sexy pumps on, toenails red/Your body's a gun baby, pump me full of lead..."

Oh baby....

Yeah, yeah, I know - I haven't posted Chapters One or Two of this summer's "Office" webhead series, but if you head over to NBC.com you can catch up. But here it is, chapter three, hot off the whatever, entitled "Exposed Wires." Coupla funny lines. Kevin still in financial trouble. Take it away...

There really are some people who can't wait for the Aug. 18 fourth season premiere of "The Hills," and for you, the following preview may be old news. For everyone else, this may be fresh meat. MTV posted this preview recently (not sure when, but my guess is within the last few days.) Glean from these precious minutes, ye "Hills" fanatics, what becomes of the showdown at the house between Audrina, Lo, and Lauren. And, oh ye who hate Speidi with all your heart (that's pretty much everyone), check these two out as well.

Phew. Back. Survived. Alive. No RSI symptoms. Press Tour. Over. Praise the Lord.

Sorry for the long delay but after the press tour - that windy press junket thing that just concluded - I realized a couple things. First, if I had stayed just a few hours longer at the Beverly Hilton, I could have seen John Edwards in a foot race with some paparazzo. (Real news!) Second, I realize that there's nothing much going on in TV for at least one day after the press tour ends, because all the people who write about TV are in transit - in my case, hitchhiking back from Beverly Hills. (And if there's no one to write about the tree falling in the forest, did the tree actually fall?)

But enough of the fond reminiscences and inscrutable asides. There's important stuff to talk about and we have to get to it right away. I speak, of course, of Courtney Galiano. Let's make sure for the record exactly how to spell her name (just one "L") and where she's from: Dix Hills, right now. These are important facts because suddenly, Courtney is the most important person in my TV world...

Yes, tonight's the results show for the top eight - two will leave - and with Courtney still in the hunt, this means, I'm gonna actually have to start paying attention to "So You Think You Can Dance" for the first time this season. I wasn't certain she'd last this long - something about her not being as popular, say, as the other contestants, or maybe Lithy's tepid response to her on occasion. But there she is - in the hunt, and maybe a winner too. It'll all happen very fast, so I've gotta pay close attention. The top six - which I'm confident she'll be in - perform on the 30th, the top four on August 4, and the Finale and winner crowned: Aug. 7.

Will Court make it this far? Beats me, but if she does, you know what I'll be doing. Meanwhile, she did have a good night last night; the opening Samba with Will scored kudos with Lithy. So, we'll see.

Did I tell you yet that I was back from the press tour?

Poor John McCain -- can't even get newspapers to run his letters while the TV networks (and the rest of the media) are on bended knee before his rival. Latest evidence: NBC just announced that Barack Obama will sit down with Tom Brokaw for a full hour on this Sunday's "Meet the Press." That'll be the capper for BO's much (much much) covered Middle east trip. Last time BO was on "MTP" was May 4. Meanwhile, Katie Couric has Obama on tonight's "Evening News."

Lotta talk here in Beverly Hills about "Heroes," and how it'll attract new viewers after so loooong a hiatus, and whether fans will come back when it returns Sept. 22. (I predict...in droves.) Etcera. (And in what must be the strangest omission of the entire press tour: Tim Kring and no one else from the show held a panel to build up interest...which is what networks do when they want to build up interest....)

So, instead of having panels and what not -- which can be kinda gaseous anyway -- NBC is attacking the problem virally, by having its representatives send out the latest webisodes of the show. Always happy to comply, here's chapter two, or "part two," if you will, entitled "The House Guest:"

Superstars in NBC's future: Amy and Laser Cats...

Remember the "Office Spin-off?" Never quite had a name, and many people in the business kind of assumed there wasn't quite an idea there either? It is now officially on ice -- not dead, but in that place in the TV development process where a sense of urgency is basically non-existent. Ben Silverman, NBCU entertainment co-boss, told the inkstained assemblage that the network -- and Greg Daniels and Mike Schur -- will develop a new show with Amy Poehler instead; this one will not be a spin-off, and she'll never appear in "The Offfice," and her show will not "emanate" from "The Office," like "The Jeffersons" did from "All in the Family." (Interesting comparison...)

I dunno -- maybe Amy just doesn't like Scranton.

Simply put, getting Amy Poehler to appear in anything on NBC after she has her baby sometime this fall (she and husband Will Arnett are expecting, as you know) is the single biggest entertainment announcement at NBC's press tour because as Silverman rightfully pointed out, she could have easily headed off to the big screen.

So what will go in the post-Super Bowl slot? There were reports that the "Office" spin-off that is no more was going there, but the Poehler show won't be ready in time either (expect a March launch.) Silverman didn't completely rule out an "Offfice" something, although what that would be was terrifically vague; "maybe some iteration of 'TO' [could air there] or a tease of the [Poehler] show or it could be something else."

[If you have any ideas for a post-SB show, please send 'em to Silverman; looks like he neeeds some suggestions...]

What is the Poehler show about? Silverman declined to say, but this much we do know: Daniels will be developing it, and with all his time now devoted to this and whatever he has left over for 'TO,' I think it's a fair bet he won't have any time or energy left over to think about the spin-off.

So for now, I'm guessing the great spin-off that never quite was...is DOA.

But I have a suggestion: What about a spin-off for Laser Cat? The marketing possibilities are endless. Product placement? (Cat food. Duh. Or lasers. Those too. The above pix isn't exactly a Laser Cat, but close enough...You get the idea.)

Meanwhile, here are news release quotes from Daniels/Schur:

"This show suddenly got a hundred percent easier," said Daniels. "Amy shines in everything she does. She can make even bad material funny, and I know we can write bad material."

"I worked with Amy at 'Saturday Night Live,' " said Schur, "and she's one of the funniest, most talented people I've ever met. She is a terrible human being, but I am more than willing to overlook her many, many character flaws for the chance to work with her again."

Who was that bald guy at the back of the room with the big voice (that sounded suspiciously like a famous talk show host) who belted out a question to NBCUni bosses, Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff during the NBC executive sesh...

Who wanted to know when Jay's last day was...or whether it was true NBC had offered Leno a fifth hour of "Today."

Yes. That was Jay. He was here. Funny...and in disguise. Sort of like Jimmy Kimmel during the ABC sesh last week. Yeah, the networks have had fun with the Leno transition story and hard to blame them. It is the story, so much better to control it than let it control them -- as it doubtless will in the weeks and months to come.

The last day? We did get a serious answer to that one: May 29, 2009, a Friday, while Conan starts the following Monday.

One critic did have a good followup: "What happens when Jay Leno goes over to ABC and kicks Conan's ass?"

"We've witnessed a lot of transitions at NBC," said Graboff. "We really believe in the decision we've made with our partners, including Jay....'Tonight Show' will continue to be dominant within its time period."

Someone wanted to know about Jay's comment to USA Today last week, that he would definitely leave NBC. Graboff: "I think Jay would say he was taken a little out of context..."

The King am I.

Lorne Michaels was here yesterday and I'm beginning to get the sense that "press tour" wouldn't be a "press tour" without him. Held in such reverence -- the critics gave him their lifetime achievement award here in Beverly Hills Saturday -- Michaels confers legitimacy on this whole affair just by showing up, even if he has nothing to say. This year he did: NBC announced a series of Thursday half-hour specials (live, of course) leading up to the election; these three will air during October, (expect a "Weekend Update" format.) "SNL" last hit Thursdays in 2001.

Lorne had a lot to say about a lot of stuff at his presser yesterday. Herewith, the highlights:

* Yeah, he effectively admitted that Barack Obama's difficult to mock. "He's still defining himself and is cast as heroic, which I think he is, but sooner or later he'll do something to irritate us....It's still being dealt with cautiously and reverently, and it might stay that way to November, but I doubt it."

* Yeah, again, Amy Poehler is of course leaving for "The Office" spin-off but'll stay on the show for that Thursday series of specials and will leave after the election. Could Seth Meyers go solo on the "Weekend Update" desk? "I don't know [but] we toyed with the idea of Tina doing it alone..."

* Yeah, "I was enormously frustrated by the strike, and being off the air during an election year was unbelievably frustrating..."

* Jay out the door? "I have so little to say on that. I like Jay's show, I like Conan's show...I was brought in after David Letterman left. I tend to get the call late in the cycle."

* He will -- as I think "SNL" may have said before -- launch Jimmy Fallon's show on the Web to get the kinks out before it's on the air. (Fallon, you know, replaces Conan, who goes up an hour next year...) "I learned from Conan how brutal it is to change a show [while it's on] the air. It'll help by having Jimmy on the Web "five to six months before it goes on the air." Plus, this'll let Jimmy "do stuff you don't normally do on TV..."

* What'll it be like having Conan move from 6A to that gymnasium in Burbank? "Conan and Jeff [Zucker] so know what they're doing [but] it will be a big transition."

* Fallon will originate out of Studio 6B. That's -- as you know -- an historic studio in NBC, where Carson and Paar once worked. I also believe "Twenty-One," the old game show (scandal, remember?) came out of here too.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Read on to learn the fate of Smash...

This is a good news/bad news kinda blog post for fans of "FNL," which presented to the ink-stained assemblage here in Beverly Hills this morning.

First the good: The show will be back on the NBC lineup early February 2009 for thirteen episodes, but the show will first launch Oct. 1 on DirecTV's subscription 101 Network, as announced months ago. Showrunner Jason Katims told critics here yesterday, "we've had conversations" about having different content for both editions, but he seemed to suggest that no one should hold his breath. For Katims and cast, this dual-deal with DirecTV could mean salvation. As he said, "The fact that we're here speaks to the passion that NBC has for the show, and they came up with this model that is completely new and [we] could continue the show for years [or] several more years."

He talked about the potential for two versions -- the DirecTV one of course wouldn't have to worry about "standards and practices issues..."

Meanwhile, the show is going to be more realistic, which means that when someone graduates high school...they move on, just like in real life (sometimes.) So the big cast change on the third season: Adios to original cast members, Brian "Smash" Williams (played by Gaius Charles) and Jason Street (Scott Porter) who will leave after a four-episode arc; they've graduated.

And...she'll play a "guest director" for the high school musical at West Beverly Hills High. The CW announced this morning (Saturday) that Shannen Dearest signed on for multiple episodes.

So far, everyone seems to be getting along just fine.

But it's early.

I say, give it a few weeks.

In any event, I jest. "Beverly Hills 90210" showrunners Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah -- both "Freaks and Geeks," and "Life as We Know It" alums -- seemed pretty happy about the new edition this morning before the ink-stained Assemblage here in Beverly Hills, and no wonder. Shannen Doherty's addition -- rumored for many days -- is what you call "promotable."

Not that this spin-off needs much more attention.

Judah told us this morning that castmembers from the Original -- at least those few who have agreed to sign up -- will be "used organically" in the spin-off. I take this to mean that they won't have fully independent storylines, or that their storylines from all those years ago will probably not be resolved in this edition. (Both producers were a little circumspect on this point.)

Of Doherty, we now know this much: She will reprise her role as Brenda Walsh (who as you recall disappeared to London for an acting career, while leaving the love of her life behind...) The CW told us this morning that Brenda became a "successful theater actress, splitting her time between New York and London. The character soon transitioned into directing for theater and had equal success in that career." Her alma mater asked her to guest direct the high school's musical...

No one asked this morning about Jason Priestley or Luke Perry, but I think you can reasonably assume they will not be joining (Perry has already said no.) Jennie Garth returns as high school guidance counselor (Kelly Taylor), and Tori Spelling, too. (Donna Martin.) Also, Joe E. Tata is back too, as Nat, owner of the Peach Pit.

The Peach Pit? As Judah explained, it has metamorphosed into an Internet cafe "and a cool coffee house. It's not going to be like the old days, 'hey, Color Me Badd!!'"

A good chunk of the new cast was up on stage this morning -- Ryan Eggold (Ryan Matthews), Rob Estes (Harry Wilson), Lori Loughlin (Debbbie Wilson), Shenae Grimes (Annie Wilson), Tristan Wilds (Michael Lee, from "The Wire," here as Dixon Wilson); Jessica Stroup (Silver), Dustin Milligan (Ethan Ward), AnnaLynne McCord (Naomi Clark), Michael Steger (Navid Shirazi), and Jessica Walter (Tabitha Wilson).

However, there wasn't a soul up there from the original cast.

Interpretation: That the showrunners didn't and don't want to shift the spotlight from the classic characters to the newcomers, who will, after all, have to strike out on their own when the show launches Sept. 2, as a two-hour premiere.

Or maybe they just realized that Jennie and Shannen couldn't share the same stage together...

Judah said the spin-off will have "a strong point of view, that kids need boundaries, need rules..."

Basic plotline: Wilson moves his family from Kansas to the Zip, where he will be WBH prinicipal. A fish-out-of-water tale ensues...

Showtime just had one of the bigger announcements of this year's confab. Execs just told the ink-stained Assemblage here that they have picked up that new series-in-development with Edie Falco entitled "Nurse Jackie," about a nurse who's kind of a rough-and-tumble gal in a New York City hospital. Not that this is a huge surprise: Everyone wanted Falco for something, and this one hasn't exactly been under wraps. Showtime previewed the show in an extended trailer, and there was a little of the Edie we all know and love and a little of the Edie many of us aren't too familiar with. F'rinstance, she's a drug user (coke, or something that came up through a straw) and liberally salts her patter with the f-bomb. The logline on this? Bob Greenblatt, Showtime prez of entertainment, told us that "she's a very complicated nurse...You've never quite seen a nurse like this...The show won't be case-driven, or [have a] big medical story of the week." Plus, it's only a half hour. Is this played for laughs? Based on the three-minute clip, probably, though maybe it's more of a dramedy...Said Greenblatt, it'll air on the network "next spring or early summer..."

And -- because I like to bury my lede -- the show also stars Paul Schulze. Remember him? How could you forget: Father Phil Intintola from "The Sopranos," the mooch who came dangerously close to breaking his vows and losing his life in the process. You might call this show the first post-"Sopranos" reunion. He plays a character named Eddie, and sorry, no further details...

Other Showtime notes:

* Clyde Phillips, "Dexter" boss, said that Jimmy Smits' character -- Miguel Prado, a Miami DA -- will "befriend" dear ol Dex, and actually become "the first adult friend he's ever had...as their friendship progresses he becomes a little more open with [Prado] about who he is...That's what we're gonna explore this year."

* David Duchovy, here to promote "Californication," got a Mulder question, of course, and he said, "I can't play him the same way [six years later.] I walk a little slower. I was trying to be Mulder in 2008, not 1993. That was interesting for me."

* Michael C. Hall got the biggest laugh of the day. Someone asked how his family reacted when they learned he was gonna play a sadistic beast of a blood-spattered serial-killer. Not missing a beat -- and in an obvious reference to his "Six Feet Under" lover, Keith Charles -- he said they responded: "'As long as you're not kissing a black man.'"

It's not often that you get genuine news at a press tour - it's not often you get any news at a press tour - but I'm reasonably certain we got some about half an hour ago: Katie Couric and Sean McManus, CBS News chief, disputed the reports that she's leaving after the inauguration. "There are no plans to part company any time soon," she said via satellite from New York.

Now...you can be cynical, and you can be skeptical, and you can be anything you like. You can also carefully parse the words "any time soon." But I do find it intriguing that both would use such a public forum to so pointedly deny the many reports of a post-inauguration split once again. McManus has sorta debunked the reports in other press interviews, but this seems to me KC's strongest denunciation to date. "I'm very committed to the program and the product." Echoed McManus, "this is not a discussion at CBS or CBS News."

As Your's Truly has reported before, there are reasons why she could/should stay. One, it would cost CBS a vast sum to buy out the balance off her contract, and there would certainly be no guarantee that her replacement would do any better. Two, she has no apparent motivation to move on either (meaning, no obvious gig, unless Larry King is pushed aside, which seems kinda hard to believe at this point.) And three, the program IS actually pretty good (even if it doesn't have a correspondent based in Baghdad any more.) Credit due to people like Paul Friedman and others who are working behind the scenes, but credit due to Katie too. The numbers are dreadful, but they were dreadful under Dan Rather too. (Are there degrees of "dreadful...?" Just asking...)

So, we now await the meaning of "any time soon."

Gil's moving on...

CBS Entertainment boss Nina Tassler actually had a lot of interesting stuff to say about the departure of Billy Petersen a few minutes ago at the TCA executive sesh in BH, and let's just go straight to the bullets to lay out the highlights:

* First, She said that this classic (my word) has just reached "new deals" with the other three principals, Marg Helgenberger, George Eads and Paul Guilfoyle; that means that they're not going anywhere anytime soon.

* Petersen will leave after episode ten "but you'll not see the last of him." Why's he going? "Don't forget his roots [in theater] as an artist." And he is fact leaving to produce a play (she didn't say what or where; but I'm thinking likely in LA, but not necessarily...) She added, "he's been very outspoken in terms of his artistic dedication" to other stuff.

* The biggish news is that the show will fold in a new character - name and star to be determined - who will actually have the DNA of a serial killer. (Hmmm.) This guy - I'm assuming it's a guy - will be the only one to know this when he joins the CSI as an investigator, and "there will be a journey to find out his true character."

Unlike the other networks out here in BH this week, CBS actually gave TV scribes a DVD of some of the new season shows in June, which made me wonder - "what? Writers struck everyone this year but CBS?" It included full pilots of "The Ex List," "The Mentalist, and comedies "Worst Week," and "Project Gary," plus an extended trailer of the pretty intriguing mid-season entry, "Harper's Island" (a series of strange murders on an island in Puget Sound; don't worry - you'll hear a LOT more about it when CBS sets an airdate...)

What do I like? So nice of you to ask. Keep your eyes, friends, on "Worst Week," Monday at 9:30 entry...(I think "Rules of E" used to air here...) Based on the Brit-hit, "Worst Week of My Life," it really does follow a worst week in some poor schmo's life, as he gets ready for impending nuptials and must endure a series of preposterous and soul-sucking trials and pratfalls.This remake stars a relative new-comer, Kyle Bornheimer, along with the always-beautiful-and-why-isn't-she-a-big-star-yet Erinn Hayes, plus two wonderful and seasoned pros, Nancy Lenehan and Kurtwood Smith, who need no intro. The screening pilot was produced and I think directed by Matt Tarses, one of the inspired people behind "Scrubs" and "Sports Night." Tarses just told the Assemblage that "ninety percent" of the gags were lifted from the Brit series...

My snap judgment: "WW" is one of the most skillfully packaged and produced comedy pilots I've seen in a long time, and lemme tell ya, I've seen a lot. This could be the one - another major comedy hit for a network that's had a few of those (I hear) over the years. It's very (very) good...Clip - I'm sorry to say - gives you only the barest hint, but I guess it's better than nothing...

CBS this morning in BH at the Press Tour, and because the overall narrative contours of these affairs are so easy to draw, let's just go ahead and figure out what's on this morning's agenda.We begin at 9 (05) with Nina Tassler, CBS Entertainment chief, who will promptly declare - I'm just gonna make stuff up at this point - that Billy Petersen's eventual withdrawal from "CSI" will have "little impact" on one of "TV's great dramas" and (let's just keep making up quotes here) and that "Bill and Tony [Zuiker] always envisioned a moment when Grissom would leave, and have to leave. This opens up the series to new casting possibilities, and we'll be announcing those shortly, or leaking details to Michael Ausiello at 'EW.'" Meanwhile - she continues - "like any great TV drama, the ensemble is what counts. This departure ensures that 'CSI' will continue for years to come..."

Didn't you hear? They don't make news at Press Tour, just omelettes...

Next at 10, west coast time, Katie and the other toppers from CBS News will appear via satellite. This is actually a gutsy and mid-level surprising move, insofar as Katie et al know precisely what people will ask, and that probably won't be "how DO you plan to cover the conventions?"

This is actually an interesting appearance because the Omniscient We of the Mainstream Media - amazingly, always right, too - have declared that Katie will be gone after the inauguration. But, wouldn't it be exciting if....the giant head of CBS News boss Sean McManus appeared up there on the screen and said, "Katie's going nowhere - she's our anchor now and well into the future..."

But like I said, news rarely breaks out here. I suspect we'll hear this: "I just don't think this is the appropriate forum to discuss my future," says Katie. End of questions...

I'll get back to you shortly with the real quotes.

The babes are back - and older.


You love "Desperate Housewives," right? Otherwise, why read this post? In any event, there was a pretty interesting "DH" sesh yesterday at press tour, over which the loquacious, likable and amusing creator Marc Cherry held court. Cherry likes this audience, and I find that the audience pretty much reciprocates. He had a lot of stuff to say about the new season, in which Wisteria Lane moves forward a full five years. So let's just bullet the high points, because you've got a busy day:
* Cherry actually wanted to move the show SEVEN years in the future, because "labor laws" had prevented him from doing more complicated storylines with the show's child actors, and that "older kids allow you to do more involved storylines..." But he got immediate flak from the cast, members of which were afraid they'd look too old on screen. Cherry compromised on five.
* Eva Longoria Parker's Gabriella has gained a little weight and looks a little dowdy five years from now - doesn't wear much makeup (because Carlos is still blind and can't see her anyway) and because she has two kids, so who has time for makeup? The "weight" question came up and Cherry said his aunts back in Oklahoma don't have time to doll themselves up, so why should his beloved ladies?
* Teri Hatcher's Susan - still kinda skinny - has a new love interest, "an interesting artsy guy" played by actor, Gale Harold. You definitely know Harold - was briefly in "Grey's" AND was Brian Kinney in "Queer as Folk." He was also Wyatt Earp in "Deadwood." Cherry said of James Denton, "you will see Mike in the show, and that's all I'm gonna say."
* Neal McDonough, (right) as you know, is joining the cast next season. Says Cherry, his character moves to Wisteria Lane "and he has revenge on the mind." Uh-huh. Who doesn't?

Out here at press tour, in the slum called Beverly Hills, we all like to gnaw on bones well after the meat and gristle are gone. Katherine Heigl - Izzie - is the bone du jour. Yesterday afternoon, Shonda Rhimes - "Grey's Anatomy" chief - went before us bonepickers and had to deal with a few more Heigl questions. They're really old and tired, these questions, by this point: Really, who gives a damn what anyone thinks about why Heigl pulled herself outta Emmy contention and whether poor little "GA" writers' feelings were bruised? Don't we have anything else to worry about?

Apparently not...Anyway, Rhimes - sitting in the poll position among a group of superstar producers who included Darlton and Greg Berlanti, et al - said there's no problemo with her Kate, and that "everything's fine...I have a wonderful working relationship with Katherine Heigl, and as you know, I love her character..." Shonda did admit she "found it surprising" when she first heard of Izzy/Heigl's comments, but "I didn't feel insulted" because "in the back half of the season, she asked me to write her light" - that is,with a diminished role on the show - "for the movie ['The Ugly Truth.']" Meaning? If she didn't have much to do, she didn't have an Emmy-worthy role last year.

My own personal guarantee: This is the LAST TIME I'll blog/write about this non-story/story.

Promise.

By now you may have heard the big news out here in BH - that Jay Leno told USA Today that he is done with NBC next year. Done, as in: No primetime specials, no special ambassadorship, no syndicated series for some division of NBCUniversal, no guest-hosting job on "Access Hollywood"...

He's outta there.

The news broke innocuously, but like all tectonic shifts in this business, such news often does. I remember when Johnny took the stage at Carnegie Hall in '88 or '89, and told advertisers at the NBC upfront that he would hang it up at 30 seasons. There was no press release. No formal "this is it" statement. Just a brief and modest aside to a thousand stunned advertisers.

And I don't believe he ever said another word about it in public.

Then, this news this morning. The piece - by an enterprising reporter by the name of Marco R. della Cava - was ostensibly just about Jay's vast collection of cars, and his gearhead love of all things mechanical (though I was a little surprised that there wasn't much talk about motorcycles...)

Della Cava asked the right question, or maybe just snuck in it during a fascinating conversation about the 1936 Lagonda Rapide LG45 Team Car.

"Ummm, Jay, before we I ask you about the Lagonda Rapide LG46, which I believe came out in 1938 and I do believe I see one over there in the corner, I was just kinda wondering: Are you gonna stay with NBC next year...? "

Maybe that's how it came up. But Jay had a message to deliver too. Here it is: "I am definitely done next year with NBC." Another network? "I'm not a beach guy, and the last time I was in my pool was to fix my light. Don't worry, I'll find another job somewhere..."

Don't worry. He will. So let us quickly review the options, then I'll tell you what I know:

ABC: As "Nightline" replacement, and lead-in to "Jimmy Kimmel." Tricky because you don't wanna alienate JK, who certainly believes he has a right to 11:35...Letterman felt the same way, and look what happened there. Even with all the joking at press tour yesterday, Steve McPherson knows this is a delicate operation. I suspect, though, ABC will perform it adroitly. Odds are good Jay'll come here.

Sony: A syndicated deal, as reported some months ago by the NYTimes, is apparently on the table, or could be on the table. It would be for a vast sum of money. Problem is, Jay's not motivated by money. If I've heard this once, I've heard it a thousand times. I believe it. Odds here are slim.

CBS: Only if Dave walks in '10. Only, and a big only. We in the press - Okay, I in the press - have predicted in the past that Dave'll walk, only to be proven wrong. He'll walk one day. Who knows when. And Dave might just sign a new contract to keep Jay away from CBS; I imagine - nay, believe - the slightest residue of bitterness remains that Leno got the job that he believed rightfully his all those years ago. CBS odds not so high, in my opinion.

Fox: The dark horse. Jay comes here for the 11 p.m. job, and there will be - I am convinced - an offer for an 11-midnight show. The pitch to Jay could be very appealing: You'll get a younger audience here, an "American Idol" lead-in (or at least a lead-in from late local news that's been boosted by "AI"), and the chance to build a big audience that could blunt or damage or even scuttle the Conan-hosted "Tonight" show. I don't think Jay's a guy motivated by revenge, but on some level, he's a brutal competitor, and the chance to demolish the network that abused him and tossed him aside like a moldy head of cabbage has to be enormously appealing. Odds of Fox are, I think, very good. Not quite as good as ABC, which has the slight edge, because of 11:35, but still very good.

Here's what I do know: No decision has been made. I am positive - or close to positive on this, despite Jay's on-air kidding the other night (he held up that "headline of the future," which showed him at ABC, remember?) I am told reliably and told by a sterling source that Leno's camp can still not hold negotiations or discussions with any interested party. I don't know when the window opens, but when it does, it will be front page news, believe me.

But today, we know just one fact: Jay will not be at NBC after his contract ends next year.

Sorry for this very long blog entry, but this is the biggest news in TV this year.

(Photo: NBC)

This morning's big winner, and the biggest loser is...

Why, why....WHY? You may know where this lament is coming from - I can pull up the same rant I pull up every year, add an extra "why," maybe, shake my head with just a little more passion, sigh a little more loudly, and - out of earshot because this is after all a family blog - curse the Emmy voters with all the invective that is so richly their due.

Why no Best Drama nod for "The Wire," you scurrilous slopbowl of vaporous vamps ?

Makes no difference. Just baying at the moon. But a hounddog has still gotta do what a hounddog has gotta do. The bright side of this now-annual lament: At least there'll be a good reason when "The Wire" is left off the best drama list again next year.

In a funny way, the Emmys seem to have righted themselves in recent years, after a stretch of boner years that called into question the very viability of these awards. There were so many miscues, so many oversights, that you started to wonder - do they allow drinking, and sleeping, during those mysterious final closed-door sessions that mystically and magically yield the "best" list?

And, in fact, the rest of this list looks reasonable (see below). "Mad Men" scored (16 noms). No surprise. "30 Rock," too (17) - only a surprise for the sheer number of nods when the equally good "Office" could muster a little better than half that number.

But "The Wire?" Just one nod. One (for best writing, to Simon and Burns.) Others with just one nomination - a list, BTW, that stretches the length of my arm - included "Pirate Master," "Swear Jam," "Kid Nation," and "According to Jim."

It would have been better, really, if "The Wire" got nothing at all. Instead, it is now and forever confined to the crowd of ones, a seething mass of the desperate, disparate and ne'er-do-wells.

Sad.

But this is Emmy. What would be a nice day in mid-July if there wasn't some TV travesty and oversight of the first order. It's a tradition by now.

The list, if you haven't seen by now:

DRAMA SERIES:
"Boston Legal," ABC
"Damages," FX
"Dexter," Showtime
"House," Fox
"Lost," ABC
"Mad Men," AMC

(My read: Other than no "Wire," a reasonable list that shouldn't contain "Boston Legal," which'll probably end up winning.)

COMEDY SERIES:
"Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO
"Entourage," HBO
"The Office," NBC
"30 Rock," NBC
"Two and a Half Men," CBS

(My read: Safe and predictable, and while "30 Rock" may be a lock for a twofer, I wouldn't count out "Two and a Half" just yet...)

ACTOR, DRAMA SERIES:
Gabriel Byrne, "In Treatment"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
James Spader, "Boston Legal"

(My read: Bryan Cranston a jaw-dropper of a surprise, but everyone may as well hang it up now cus' Spader the Emmy Invader is here once again...)

ACTRESS, COMEDY SERIES:
Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who?"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "New Adventures of Old Christine"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

(My read: Christina Applegate?)

ACTOR, COMEDY:
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Lee Pace, "Pushing Daisies"
Steve Carell, "Office"
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men"

(My read: By sheer virtue of habit, Emmy voters have already pushed Tony to the head of the pack...)

ACTRESS,DRAMA:

Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Glenn Close, "Damages,"
Holly Hunter, "Saving Grace,"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit."

(My read: Strong field - pun intended - and no obvious favorite, though Hargitay seems a longshot.)

I like to start rumors at TVzone, which is much easier to do than actual reporting, and here's one I'd like to float: Is one of the great actors of stage and screen going to join "Eli Stone"? That would be Derek Jacobi, who I think has a "Sir" in front of his name by now.

As you may already know, Katie Holmes will be doing a cameo on this pretty good ABC show. That was formally announced by Big Mac during the morning session at the BH, while Greg Berlanti, showrunner / co-creator offered a few other details a few minutes ago. They are: She'll be on the Oct. 21 episode ... she'll play an attorney who doesn't actually practice law ... and she'll be in a "significant portion" of the show ... oh, and she'll sing and dance, too. No details on her numbers ... As tubeheads know, she and Berlanti go waaay back to "Dawson's Creek."

Now, to Sir Derek. During the Q&A; someone wondered -- I guess "joked" is the better word -- about whether "Eli" star Jonny Lee Miller might prevail on his ex, Angelina Jolie, to appear on the show, which (Berlanti said) will look to bring aboard more guest stars to build sampling and viewership next season. Said Miller of Jolie, "YOU'LL have to ask her," and then noted that in fact a co-star on a film he's currently shooting did ask whether he could do a cameo on "Eli Stone." He declined to say who that star was, other than the fact that he's a pretty "big name..." He said that he hadn't even mentioned the offer to Berlanti or co-creator Marc Guggenheim.

And of course, this intriguing comment sends me straight over to IMDB, which reveals that Miller is currently shooting Pete Travis' "Endgame," about the end of apartheid. It stars...William Hurt (but no chance he'll be doing a cameo, unless John Landgraf at FX is much more generous than I think he is), and Clarke Peters and Chiwetel Ejiofor. Both are wonderful actors, but hardly the "big name" that the other co-star Jacobi is.

So there you have it, friends. One of the greats -- maybe THE greatest living actor -- could be joining "Eli," if only for a day. (And now you can see the trouble we get into at TCA when there's not enough to do...)

(Photo: A smiling Sir Derek from whatsontv.co.uk.)

Better story than THIS in '08? We hope...

Tieless but not exactly wordless, ABC Entertainment chief Steve McPherson offered a few choice ones for the sassy and increasingly annoying Katherine Heigl, who pulled herself outta the Emmys a month ago because her '07 "GA" storyline just wasn't good enough, dammit.

Asked about the public slap against the Show That Made Her Famous -- which of course led to speculation that she was on the way out -- McPherson came about as close as he could in a packed and very public forum to rebuking her without sounding like he was rebuking her. "It's unfortunate when anyone says something," he said sharply during this morning's "executive sesh" at TCA in BH. He went on to praise the show as "beautifully produced" and said that everyone on the show, from grips to producers, had created a splendid season.

Translation: She's full of beans.

Rebuke delivered, he then quickly added that "she's absolutely central to the show," and that she "will stay" on "Grey's Anatomy." (He didn't say how long...) One more thing: "She has an unbelievable story line this season."

Jay Leno was the other headline from Big Mac:

In one off the truly inspired moments of the 2008 TCAs, ABC planted Jimmy Kimmel in the army of critics and reporters, and Mac called on him first. Jimmy stood up, introduced himself as so-and-so from the Sarasota, Fla., such-and-such newspaper (I think Sarasota), and then proceeded to ask about the Jay Leno rumors. "I want to ask about Jay Leno ... is your name McPherson or McFOURson ... "I don't feel comfortable talking" about the Leno situation, Mac deadpanned. Asked Kimmel/reporter: "Aren't you afraid if you do replace Jimmy Kimmel he'll do something crazy to your car?"

Then it got kinda serious, sorta. Of Leno, Mac said, "I can't believe they're gonna let this guy go out at the top of his game [but] if they do, Jimmy will be part of the discussions."

Jay to A? JK will have something to say about that...(ABC, NBC Photos)

Thanks, I suppose, to "The Sopranos," we in the press ranks have all larded our expectations about how classic series -- particularly violent ones with morally conflicted characters -- should end. OK, at least I have. It's this sense that the end will fully and completely capture the preceding, or maybe justify it, or resolve a character or explain his/her motivation, or SOMETHING. That's why CCH Pounder's comment during "The Sheild" sesh today was so intriguing. (CCH? You know - Claudette Wyms...)

"The finale," she said, "is what Vic Mackey deserves."

The words fall flat on the screen. There was some venom mixed with glee in her voice. ("...what he deSERVES.") Frobisher (see below) got what he deserved, but what exactly does Mackey deserve? The same? Maybe, or maybe not. All of the show's 13 final episodes were wrapped months ago, in the middle of the strike, because Shawn Ryan and writing team had finished the scripts well before the strike began early November. So everyone up there on stage knew exactly the fate of one of the most famous / infamous cops in modern TV history (and who earned Michael Chiklis a best drama actor Emmy, a first in all TV history for a cable show.)

Someone asked about a possible "Shield" movie -- a clever but alas obvious gambit to determine whether Mackey survives. No go: Chiklis, whom co-star Cathy Cahlin Ryan referred to as Chicky at one point, didn't take the bait. If I told you, he said, you'd know whether I live or die...

Does Mackey get what he deserves? Said Chicky, "that's in the eye of the beholder. Shawn Ryan [creator, husband of Cathy, who played wife of Vic -- what a world!] did a tremendous job in writing this finale ... feel like [the series] is the longest movie ever made ... but [in the finale] writers came up with twists and turns and when you watch them, they are so stunning, but when you look back on them they make perfect sense ... with the finale, you won't see this coming but you'll also look and say, 'yeah that makes perfect sense.'"

No fade to black? No onion rings?

Said Shawn: "Show [finales] that stay true to themselves ... those are the ones that are most successful. This one will feel completely appropriate."

The final season begins Sept. 2, which means we'll have to wait to late fall or early winter to find out what just fate awaits Vic.

(Above: Fabulous and kinda scary pix of Chicky, courtesy FX)

Bless - or curse - those rascally creators of "Damages" who weren't above (or below) fooling with the heads of assorted TV writers here in BH this morning. The question, as inevitably it must, came up a few times about whether Arthur Frobisher survived the bullet that felled him at the end of last season. As richly deserved as the lead may have been, fans might have a hard time envisioning this splendid show without Ted Danson's well-turned modern-day Machiavelli/Marquis de Sade. Of course, Danson is back next season (launches sometime in January) but is he still alive? As co-creator Todd Kessler told us this ayem, "just because he's back doesn't mean he survived."

Whaaa? Reason is of course obvious: Like "Lost," "Damages" plays with time like a slide rule, pushing viewers ahead of the action on occasion so that they are more omniscient than the characters, and pushing 'em back too. So...Frobisher may only exist next season in flashbacks...Says Kessler, "we have a lot more material...and [Frobisher] is a great union of character and actor that has inspired us to delve further..."

Even if he's dead.

Danson was asked, too, about his survival. Quick answer: Hell if he knew. And asked about "Curb," which he'll also probably be back on (very much alive.) Has Larry called yet? "It's Larry's world and he just assumes when he picks up the phone [and calls] you'll come. It's as simple as that. The phone rings and I'm available - it's as sad as that" too.

(Above, well, is the bastard dead or alive? Photo courtesy FX.)

Immortal? (At least in syndication...)

I’m not sure what it is, but the thought of the Greatest Show in TV History (GSITVH) ending one of these days is more than I can get my little head around. I mean, what happens when “The Simpsons” ends? We will go on…we will go on…

In any event, Fox yesterday confirmed the 21st season was already underway and then the superstars of Fox animation (pretty much all primetime animation, with the exception of those two bomb-tossers at “South Park”) took the stage late yesterday here in BH (eat your heart out, Comic-Con.) They included…"GSITVH" creator Mattt Groening, Al Jean, Mike Judge, Matt Weitzman, and Seth MacFarlane. (Mac, “Is this where Karl Rove sat ‘cause I don’t want to get AIDS.”)

Questions came up about “Simpsons” longevity, of course, and here’s what Groening had to say (and thanks to the network’s incredibly proficient transcribers for supplying these quotes): “We, as long as Fox will have us, want to keep doing it…The task that we face at 'The Simpsons' is trying not to repeat ourselves, trying to come up with new ideas that we haven't done ourselves already.” And...still no plans for another movie at this point.

He had this to say about the voicers’ new salary pact, which pretty much means the show’s now saddled with TV’s equivalent of the Yankees payroll: “You know, one of the reasons why TV shows that are on the air for a long time go off the air eventually is because it becomes more and more expensive to do. So I hope we avoid that. Yeah, I want everybody in this room to get rich off 'The Simpsons.' Everybody works really hard. So yes, and people need to be compensated, and I'm happy for 'The Simpsons' cast. I've been working with Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, since 1987 on 'The Tracey Ullman Show' and I think of Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer and some others as the new people because they didn't come on until 1989, when the show started. And I love this cast. Al will say this, we're knocked out by them when they give me good lines, as good a line as you can, and they take it to another level.

“They're fantastic, and I want them to be as rich and unhappy as anyone in Hollywood."

You're maybe asking yourself at this point, "Jack's revenge?" Hasn't Jack had enough "revenge" - with too many bodies to count, a president toppled, and various countries on various continents raked over by his righteous anger over six seasons? What more revenge must Jack exact? Critics. That's who. The blogerati. Or Newspaper types who said the sixth season - the nuke one - wasn't very good. Left-wingers who insinuated that the many torture scenes were sort of an endorsement of the Bush anti-terror doctrine. All those nattering naybobbers. Jack hasn't taken care of THEM yet, has he?

Next season he will. In an interesting - if crowded, confused and completely disorganized session this afternoon at the BH - show-runner "24" top boss Howard Gordon said that next season, Jack will face a senate panel that'll be a proxy for all these dumbasses. Or as HoGo put it: these senators will be "a stand-in for the pundits who took shots at us."

Details - as they always are until the show blows us all away with its wonderfully outrageous over-the-top silliness (don't you just LOVE "24"?) - were kinda sparse yesterday, but (Roslyn native) Gordon laid out some basics. As you know...the Nov. 23 prequel will be a standalone that'll bridge last season, the wacky one, with the new one, a less wacky one (but maybe in some respects, even more wacky.) Jack parachutes into the midst of a political coup or civil war - the trailer reporters saw yesterday didn't exactly specify - in a fictional African country where some really terrible things are happening to good people, and Jack has to take care of the bad people who did this stuff. Meanwhile, stateside, a new president (Cherry Jones) is sworn in just as this is all happening (think Darfur, or Rwanda....)

Why is he here in the first place? Because - per HoGo - "he's avoiding a summons from a congressional committee" stateside. This committee wants to grill him about the stuff he did (or did not do) to that circuit board last season, not to mention the near-global-catastrophe that resulted, but "Jack is unrepentant, and he feels like the idea of trying to defend himself is a corrupt act," which is why he's fled. (Last scene last season? He's on that cliff, looking out to the great beyond, after his world has tumbled once again, and Audrey is gone for good, etc.)

Anyway, Jack will have to face these senators at the beginning of the new season and that is when he - and "24" - will get their revenge for all the terrible and unfair things said by all the nitwits last year.

Says HoGo: "[The show's] become a running joke on a number of fronts, because obviously we upped the ante a number of times. Yet we've found something new and improbably, I think it works." He adds, almost helpfully, "it's a smaller idea" that the nuke-crazed 6th.

Of course, this time Jack kills the critics. What could be smaller than that?

Fox News Channels! Karl Rove! Left-leaning TV critics! All in one room! Step right up, ladeez and gentlemen...right this way...

And yes, ladeez and gentleman, it was kinda interesting. Chris Wallace threw some jabs at critics. Critics started yelling back. Karl Rove talked a LOT about his Senate subpoena. (Oh wait, that was the boring part.) And those two New York Times reporters, who were photoshopped into a pair of oragutans by "Fox & Friends?" That came up too.

And did I mention that Howard Wolfson - Hill's media guy who's actually had stories written about why he's so despised by the media that covered Hill? He was on stage too, as FNC's newest contributor.

Let's get through this quickly because you have better things to do with your day, and so for that matter do I. John Moody - FNC underboss - got hit almost immediately with the doctored photo question. "It's an entertainment show that does some news," he said, then skillfully deflecting, noted that the New Yorker kinda did the same thing this ayem with the Obama terrorist cover. "It's not restricted to us."

Rove was later asked - do YOU think O's a "Jihadist." ("No.") Reporters - who seemed to dislike Rove a lot more than they did Wolfson - wondered whether FNC's credibility is somehow hurt by his presence, insofar as he's disinclined to testify before Congress. Rove went into a really long explanation about said-subpoena which was designed to bludgeon the entire room into submission, and when I awoke, Chris Wallace was - essentially - telling the crix what a bunch of hypocrites they were, and would they challenge CNN if (hypothetically) James Carville was under subpoena? Yes, we would, came the half-grumble-half-shouts from the peanut gallery. Everyone calmed down, and then someone wanted to know if Rove had ever seen any of the Fox animated shows "because they sure beat up on you?" No, he said, adding: "who cares. I'm like Grendel in Beowulf..."

Isn't Press Tour fun?

(Above: CW is a little more of a chip off the old block than I thought...)

Some news actually broke out at the "Fringe" sesh - you know "Fringe," the new J.J. Abrams show that's scored high on the buzz-o-meter and might actually get a pretty good number this fall (Me? I like it...) Jeff Pinkner, the show-runner, told the august press assemblage that Fox will actually give each episode fifty minutes to play out. Fifty minutes? As you know, even great shows, from "West Wing" to "Lost" to whatever, are stuck with just 44 (sometimes 43 and change.) If Shakespeare was writing for TV, HE'D have to jam "Lear" in 43 minutes. Honestly, I don't remember the last time a network actually displayed such generosity and I can only assume it's the 980-pound-gorilla on stage (J.J. Abrams) who told 'em, "50 minutes or nothing..." Now THAT's power. And speaking of the insanely busy Abrams, he told writers that the show - as reported centuries ago - will of course shoot in New York, but that doesn't mean the NY locale will be exploited (like, say, "L&O.;") The show will be set in many different places (Boston is in the pilot, which was shot in Toronto.) JJ also intimated that "Fringe" will - like "Lost" - have an endpoint, so that the show will have "an ultimate direction." You know what this means: If "Fringe" is a big hit (and I think it probably will be a medium-size hit) then next press tour Pinkner or someone will say it's ending in three seasons...

(Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage.com; shot of JJ at the '05 Emmys.)

Woohoo! Still one big happy family...

Kevin Reilly, Fox boss, told critics, writers, bloggers and assorted other troublemakers in BH this morning that "there's no cause for panic" on "The Simpsons" front, and that "I'd love to see it go on forever, but it won't." Numbers - which soured over the last few seasons - are basically fine, he said, but he did note that he's stepped up animated production at Fox just in case. Or, as he put it, "I don't want to be caught short on my watch...without having the next generation" in place. Some critic punk - wait, that was ME - asked if there was a deal for a 21st season and why Fox didn't give "Simps" a multiyear show deal when it gave the key voicers a multi-year one? He looked at me as though I'd downed two bottles of cheap vodka then appealed to his top execs in back, joking: "Is this something else you haven't told me?" They said that in fact, show was in the midst of production on its 21st...So that, friends, is real news. Fox just in June would only say that it had signed Gracie Films/ show-runners to a 20th which then sparked speculation about a 21st, and whether the show had become too expensive, etc.

Meanwhile, ...here's what else Kev had to say about...

* "24: Exile": Contrary to annoying reports, this November episode will be a STANDALONE, period. Again, there's been confusion over whether it might be the first two hours of the day that'll pick up in January. No, no, no. Banish the thought. The idea for the movie, he said, came up when he and Howard Gordon were batting around ideas for a possible webisode; HG said the idea he came up with could work fine on the boob tube, instead.

* Writers strike: Yes, it had an impact but not a horrific one, in part because web's spreading out development anyway, so that the pitches, pilots, etc., are spread out over the entire year. He'll see a total of eight this December, which means a lotta new product (possibly) on Fox next winter.

* Osbournes: Who the hell greenlighted that nutty idea, someone wondered. "A great bet to make," he said with absolute conviction. "This is zigging while the other guys are zagging." Oh yes...

* "The Moment of Truth:" Has Fox really gone to the dogs with this beast (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the idea)? "This is Fox. We're never going to give up our DNA...No excuses for it."

* Comedy: In his own network-suitish way, he admitted that most of it sucked, and sucked really bad, and as a result, a lot of sitcom writers have lost their confidence, etc. but that he's gonna suggest to 'em that those who pitch the network should first go out and shoot something shortish, and not-ready-for-air, and - implication here, in reference to the Affleck/Kimmel vid that got such a huge splash - maybe even get a web following first.

* Bad network ratings: 'Nother good question came up on lousy network ratings and why people simply aren't watching TV anymore (again, I paraphrase for dramatic effect here). Said Kev, yeah, "it's down [but] I'd hope this fall is a reset. " He reminded us that everyone had pretty much written off the feature film industry a few years ago, and then look what's happened since.

(Photo: Courtesy of the wonderful people at Fox...)

Comfort's back in...In case you forgot here, check above...

They keep dropping over at "So You Think You Can Dance." Big news outta the "SYTYCD" sesh this ayem in BH at the BHH (mind if I write all posts from now on in acronymese?) we learn that Jessica King is OUT and Comfort Fedoke is back in; latter was dropped (I think) last week. Judge/uber producer Nigel Lythgoe - oddly and rather insistently - refused to say what Jess's injury was, other than to say that she needs four to five weeks rest. Must be bad because he said about half hour later that dropping out of dance comps is for wusses, and about the worst thing a pro dancer could do ("you wrap it up [the ankle]" and go back on stage. "You can't be a victim," added choreographer pro, Mia Michaels. "You have to be a warrior" - this in reference to Robert Murraine who dropped out in June. "I'm afraid I can't be specific about the injury," said Lythie, tho noted that she will address the whole business on a future show. Meanwhile, we're down to the top ten...and they are...., along with Fedoke, Joshua Allen, Twitch Boss, Courtney Galiano, Chelsie Hightower, Mark Kanemura, Gev Manoukian, Kherington Payne, Katee Shean and Will Wingfield." Lythie's appraisal of Commack's Own Galiano? I'm not sure but it didn't sound like a ringng endorsement from where I sat: "Her technique isn't bad," and she'll be paired with Joshua this week. More news outta "SYTYCD:" That glorious foghorn Mary Murphy revealed that she actually did a test with "EW" - planning, I suppose an investigative piece - that measured the decibel level of her voice. Said she, "it was louder than a vacuum cleaner...and a small jet engine." There was a third thing, which I don't recall - maybe a bull elephant.

I'm here! In Beverly Hills, California (movie stars...cement ponds...)

Damn, I MADE it. The press tour. The one that everyone keeps predicting will end after this week - you know, because newspapers keep firing TV critics. A pox on the naysayers - it'll be here as long as there is bad TV and enough people like me around to WRITE about it.

Anyway, I'm a week late because I had to hitchhike out here. I told Sam Zell I wanted to go to the press tour this year, and he wanted to know what a "press tour" was. I told him it's where critics go to write about bad TV. Critics? He mused. "I thought I fired all you s---birds." Then, he told me to go frak myself. It was at that point I decided it wasn't a good idea to ask for airfare, and so I stuck out my thumb.

Actually, I made up all of the preceding. Sam Zell doesn't even know I exist, and I intend to keep it that way. Let's just say I'm late to the party because that's the kind of guy I am. But enough about me and Sam. Today is Fox, and I'm gonna give you all - my faithful half dozen readers - a preview. I'll put on my Karnac the Mag hat, and predict the one or two questions I plan to ask at each sesh. Here goes:

"Prison Break," 8:30:

Question: "Now wait one second there, Mister Matt Olmstead. You beheaded Sara Tancredi (above) and now you're going to re-attach her head next season? How is that possible, surgically speaking? Will she ever lose her head again?"

"So You Think You Can Dance," 9:15

Question: "Mister Lythgoe, where do you get your teeth whitener, and do you also think Simon Cowell is the world's most obnoxious celebrity? And I have a followup..."

"Executive Session," 10:

Question: "Mister Reilly, could you please say something actionable about Ben Silverman?"

"Fringe," 10:45:

Question: "Mister Abrams - do you mind if I call you JJ? - is the Cloverfield monster still alive? And if so, which city do you plan to demolish in the sequel? I hear Boston has a lot of monuments?"

"Fox News," panel with Chris Wallace, Howard Wolfson, Karl Rove

Question: "Honestly, I can't think of anything to ask..."

"Do Not Disturb" 2:45

Question: "How does it feel to be the only new Fox show of the entire year?"

"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," 3:30

Question: "Over here...down in front...to your left...no a little more over...to your right. Yes. That's me. Sorry. Forgot what I was gonna ask."

"24: Exile," 4:15

Question: "Kiefer...do you mind if I call you Kiefer? Down here. To your left. No a little more to your right. No, that's Mike Hughes. I'm five TV critics over. Could you please address reports that you and Julia are back together again?"

[Damn. I LOVE press tour.]

(Above: Sara's back! And so is her head! Photo courtesy, my friends at Fox...)

Here's where you can catch our LiLo on the tube this week:

TODAY at 2:15 p.m. "Bobby" on Showtime
SATURDAY at Midnight "Herbie Fully Loaded" on TBS
SATURDAY at 2:30 p.m. "Herbie: Fully Loaded" on TBS
SUNDAY at 9:45 a.m. "Just My Luck" on Cinemax
MONDAY at 3 p.m. "Bobby" on Showtime

Photo: Astrid Stawiarz, Getty Images

Life may have meaning again.

HBO executives announced this week at the TV critics' press tour in Los Angeles that "Curb Your Enthusiasm" our favorite program -- and yours too, we're sure -- will most likely return for one more season.

HBO President Michael Lombardo was reluctant to use the word 'guarantee,' but he did say that Larry David has "every intention" of producing a seventh season of "Curb," which may debut at the end of 2009.

Lombardo said David has already put forth several ideas for the next season.

That's a good sign.

Photo: HBO

Not being at the press tour, and thus not having an opportunity to ask all the big questions at yesterday's Matthew Weiner sesh - Matthew is the show-runner and creator - then I'm going to have to ask them, and answer them myself. It's a lonely and somewhat delusional task, but someone's gotta do it. Here goes:

Have you told your AMC bosses that you're gonna end the show after five seasons?

Yup, the fact that Weiner has a five-and-over strategy in mind was the headline yesterday, but did he tell the network? Remember how pleasantly surprised ABC was when Darlton told the press tour that they were wrapping in a couple seasons? (I think they told press tour, tho coulda been somewhere else.) Poor ol' AMC finally has a hit and maybe even a Best Drama Emmy winner, and it's already OVER? If I was them, I'm not entirely sure I'd be pleased at this moment...

Is five-and-over a good idea?

Hell yeah! Five is perfect (Weiner will hop the show each season up two years, so that it'll end by '69.) Here's why. There has to be an end-point in the Don Draper story. A dramatic arc has been set - his real identity - and if you think of an arc as, well, an arc, then you realize that what goes up, must come down. Why '69? One reason: can you imagine Jon Hamm with '70s sideburns and leisure suits? God knows, I can't.

What's the deal with Peggy's baby, Matthew?

I mean, how can someone - in the course of a 44 minute episode - discover that they are pregnant and then deliver the kid? This always seemed to me like a strange misstep in one of the most sure-footed shows on TV.

Will Betty have an affair?

Of course she will, but with whom? And how will Don find out? Or will he? And will she find out about his serial affairs by 1962 when the new season begins? I mean, don't you think she should after the last part of last season hinted broadly and strongly that the scales had finally fallen from her eyes, and she realized what a cad the perfect husband really was? Don't you just love questions that are answered with a whole bunch of other questions?

What about Roger - played to incandescent perfection by one of the great character actors in TV history who is none other than John Slattery? Will Roger be back?

I haven't seen the new season opener yet, but I'm worried about Rog, with his bad ticker and doomed personality, much as Victor Lang was doomed to be offed by a fence post in "Desperate Housewives." I just can't see this show without Slattery. I don't WANT to see it without him. He's the core of the show - the man who believes the lie and lives the lie and has perfected the lie. To Roger, a lie is the truth, and Slattery has captured this alternate universe aspect of his character so perfectly that when he's on screen, the whole show tilts visibly and forcibly in his direction. Please, Matthew. Please tell me Rog is OK.

How are you gonna incorporate black characters on the show this season?

You spoke of this, I guess, in that NYTimes piece or maybe somewhere else - I don't remember where. But this is the '60s - not to point out the obvious - and not 2008. I think I counted two black characters last season. The elevator operator and the janitor who glanced - in shock and amusement - at the silhouette of Peggy's foot during the scene that, umm, yielded the baby. Peggy ultimately got her promotion because she understood female products, like that weight-loss-vibrator-sex-device. Will a black character be developed in a similar way?

(Pix courtesy of AMC.)

Okay, I know this morning I put a fork in the potential strike - that an actors strike is absolutely outta the question now that AFTRA passed its own deal last night. But let's just say that was my bravado might have just possibly been based on nothing more than the conventional wisdom now coursing through the business. Right now, I'm not so sure... Here's why: SAG could dig in its heels, fight even harder,. tell the studios where to get off, and rally the rank and file, and maybe even get a strike vote. This is possible, absolutely possible, though I still think only remotely possible. I bring this up because a friend with very close ties to the business tells me this is possible... Very close ties, and someone with no ax to grind. My final point: This isn't over by a long shot. Ignore my earlier post on this...

Remember Mikalah Gordon, the kind of sixth-rate Bette Midler-type who got some buzz during season five of "American Idol?"

Well, as you know, old Idols don't fade away. They either end up performing at State Fairs or on reality shows.

For Ms. Gordon, it's the latter (for all we know. she's done the former as well). She'll be part of the entertainers attempting to become country-music singers in the next edition of "Gone Country," which CMT announced today at the TV critics' press tour in L.A.

Joining the lovely Mikalah will be such D-List stalwarts as: former Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach, "Flashdance" /"Fame" warbler Irene Cara, Jacko bro Jermaine; former N Syncer Chris Kirkpatrick, "Falcon Crest" star turned "Are You Hot?" judge Lorenzo Lamas and "Blade Runner" babe Sean Young.

The second season of "Gone Country" premieres Aug. 15. I'm trying to remember who won Season One, though.

Fox Photo

Big BIG news, local TV fans....Greg Kelly has JUST been named co-anchor of "Good Day New York." He starts July 14, and will be Jodi Applegate's new helpmate from here on out.

Greg Kelly? Surely you don't need to ask. He's the son of the Commish, and a good guy, to boot. Long Island-native Kelly did exemplary - and courageous - work during the Iraq invasion when he was an embed with some forward units of the Army. I do believe he was hurt by shrapnel too, when a bomb shattered nearby and and the blast cut his face. He did all this for Fox News, came back to the states, and was ultimately sent down to Washington, where I sort of lost track of him...[He's also, BTW, a Lieutenant colonel in the Marine Reserves; and flew dozens of missions over Iraq in the early '90s.]

His Long Island connection? He was raised in Baldwin and later lived in Garden City...

Here's the backgrounder from the press release: "Most recently, Kelly was an anchor and correspondent for the Fox News Channel (FNC) based in New York. Kelly joined FNC in 2002 and went on to serve as a White House correspondent from 2005-2007. He has also covered the war in Iraq extensively, including four long-term assignments in Baghdad. During the 2003 invasion, he was embedded with the U.S. Army’s 3rd Infantry Division, 2nd Brigade. He was the first television reporter to deliver live pictures of U.S. forces infiltrating Baghdad, as well as exclusive reports of the storming of Saddam Hussein’s Presidential palace."

Said Kelly, “I am excited to join Fox 5 and to be a part of a New York institution like ‘Good Day’ – the city’s original local morning news program.”

Here at Boomer TV, it is a cultural imperative to keep track of the up-to-the-minute activities of our childhood tube idols.

So it is with great pleasure that we announce the newest Marcia Brady sighting. Maureen McCormick will be one of the "celebs" who will populate "Outsiders Inn," a new reality competition announced today by Country Music Television (CMT).
The show documents the trials and tribulations that ensue when McCormick decides to run a bed and breakfast in rural East Tennessee and enlists the help of her "Gone Country" friends, Bobby Brown and Carnie Wilson.
:
The show debuts Aug. 15 at 9 p.m.

Abcnews.com Photos

I speculated last night - only a little facetiously - that VH1 is scrambling, as we speak, to sign up Ashley Dupre on the dotted line. But like all networks, they're jumping ahead before they've even got an idea what this thing is. Can you imagine the pitch meeting? "OK, have we got a show. Two words - Spitzer's spank." Or. "here's the idea! The world's most famous hooker will run a competition show for other hookers. It's 'Apprentice' Meets 'MILF Island!'"

"Ashley will be "The Next Tila Tequila!"

"Whatdaya think?"

Enough silliness. Clearly Ash has seen the future and the future is the Trumpster. She can't make a few billion dollars and re-build the West Side, but she CAN start her own reality show. Let's say, though, that VH1 does get a deal. They can twin this one up with "Flavor of Love." Ashley's show will be called: "The Flavor of Love (Guv)."

It's all in the name. If she gets the right name for this show, then the concept will follow.

Here are some other possible names. I'll keep adding to this list, because I really do want to help this show get off, ummm, the ground:

"The Professional Apprentice."

"Paradise No-tell Motel."

"The Bachelor and the Call Girl."

"American Eyeful."

Let's just go ahead and stick a fork in this morning so I don't have to keep rattling on about it in the TVzone blog: There will be no actors' strike. Ain't gonna happen. No way. Not now. Not for a few years anyway. As you know, AFTRA last night voted overwhelming in favor of the new contract with the studios - after a concerted and possibly ill-advised effort by SAG to scuttle it. I say it was ill-advised by SAG because if SAG lost - as it did - then its options would suddenly be limited at the bargaining table. And suddenly they are. SAG and studios broke off talks pending (no doubt) the outcome of yesterday's vote. What's SAG gonna say when they go back to the table now? SAG's bigger, more powerful and more prestigious - but both unions also share members. If the AFTRA folks, who are also SAG members, approved the new deal, then how will SAG ever get a strike authorization? Answer: It won't. The whole TV industry breathed a big sigh of relief this morning, and I did too, because with actors still at work, that means that the likelihood of a reality show starring the one-and-only Ashley Dupre - see below - has now diminished. Although only slightly.

(Pix? A classic one - from the 1919 actors strike.)

Interesting little scooperoo in that "Today" interview with Mr. Presumptive Nominee this morning. Matt got around to asking him about that curious interview with "Access Hollywood" - of all places - in which the Butte-vacationing family sits down, talks about all sorts of stuff, including the procurement of a dog when they move into the White House. 'Twas taped on the fourth. Unbeknownst to me - until Matt explained - the interview had "raised eyebrows," or raised something. Maybe hackles. I just assumed it was another one of those pandering interviews that all candidates do to reach voting soccer moms, or such like. In any event, O said no mas. Those type of interviews - with his kids, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, paraded before the world - are over forever. He said they got "caught up in the moment" at a birthday party. (Sure! I believe that...Don't you?) "We wouldn't be doing do it again," said the PN of future interviews like this. "We won't do it again."

(Nice pix gratis Chip Somodevilla of Getty Images.)

What took Ash so long?

E!'s reporting [and of course this is absolutely take-it-to-the-bank true] that Ashley Dupre is shopping her own reality show.

[Oh hallelujah! Praise be! TV and its future just gets better by the day. Who will buy this unscripted loser of a show? Let's see...E, perhaps? And thus are scoops made. MTV? In an NY minute...Where does VH1 line up?]

Here's the story: "A source tells E! News...that Dupré, 23, has been developing an unscripted show with production execs at L.A.-based Handprint Entertainment, the same company that has managed the careers of reality icons Nicole Richie and Pamela Anderson."

[Comment withheld.]

"One of the concepts being considered is a dating format."

[Comment withheld, again.]

"They're talking to MTV about Ashley being the next Tila Tequila," says a source close to the project...

[What happened to the last Tila Tequila?]

"According to a statement released to E! News by Dupré’s lawyer, Richard C. Wolfe, 'Ms. Dupré wants to eliminate all negativity from her life and focus on the positive. She has prospects for many exciting new projects and is looking forward to starting a new chapter.'”

[Comment withheld yet again, because for a change, I can't think of a single thing to say...]

And just like that, we've got a little news outta TCA...BBC America announced this ayem that Ted Koppel - no intro needed - will join the network's nightly newscast this fall as an analyst/contributor. TK, as you know, works for the Discovery Channel, has a pretty darned good doc on this week about China, and hasn't done anything for ABC since splitting there a couple years ago. Here's the Ted quote: "The BBC has worldwide capabilities that I can’t think any American network matches. To the degree that our future in this country is dependent to any extent on what’s happening in the rest of the world — which you won’t hear about a great deal on the American networks — then the BBC can be very, very helpful."

So here we go again. TCA! It begins today, this morning, in fact. A few hours from now. So what is "TCA" and why should you give a patooty? It's the Television Critics Association Press tour in Beverly Hills, where about 300 mostly smart and soon-to-be well-fed people congregate twice yearly to listen to TV producers pitch their new shows in a dark and very cold room. (Today, cable...) Most of these people work for newspapers, magazines, websites - increasingly the latter - work pretty hard during these two weeks and don't drink nearly as much as you may have been led to believe. (Unfortunately, the first day of TCA also serves as occasion to lament the sorry and diminished state of TV criticism. I've read at least two pieces since Monday bemoaning the profession, and, by association, the future of TCA, so...let's not get too excited. I'll be out there sometime this weekend, God and the U.S. aviation industry willing.)

But maybe some of you are wondering: What is TCA REALLY about? And so, I've posted a couple of clips from the '07 criticpalooza. This first is an "Ugly Betty" cast interview. These star encounters - just one facet of TCA - take place after the panel sessions, and yield more gales of ephemera, flotsam, and fabulously fatuous phooey than a single edition of "Rachael Ray:"

This next one's from Michael Jensen, a well-known presence at TCA who works for AfterElton.com, which posts "news, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media." What's good about this clip is that it reveals yet another minor aspect of TCA - the junk that the networks dump on critics, usually outside the hotel room door. Here Jensen pulls out of a bag which contains something like fifteen HBO chotchkes. At TCA, swag still lives! Even if it's minor league swag...


Online Videos by Veoh.com

This is fun! All I have to do is go to other reporters' websites and - voila! - they've got news that I can pilfer for TVzone! (Note to self: Ask for raise but do not attempt to justify...) Tonight, I learn that Michael J. Fox could be joining "Rescue Me," and that means "likely will." For an "arc." This, courtesy of Michael Ausiello, who recently joined EW from TV Guide. Here's the link to the EW story, but just remember, you heard it here second...

Not often that the most popular game show in solar system history actually changes a teensy weensy bit, but the change announced for "Wheel of Fortune" this morning is even bigger than teensy weensy: Starting with the new fall season (Sept. 8...wooHOO...I can hardly wait...Vanna, I LOVE you! Pat, YOU TOO...but not in the same way, if ya get my drift) the show will add a million smackers bonus round. "A One Million Dollar Wedge will be in play through the first three rounds. If a contestant lands on the wedge, solves the puzzle and makes it to the Bonus Round without hitting bankrupt, they will have the chance to spin the bonus wheel and could be playing for a top cash prize of $1 million." "Wheel" czar Harry Friedman also had this to say in the press release, which I have pretty much printed in its entirety (you are SO welcome, "Wheel"): "Raising the stakes so dramatically could make this our richest season ever. And our viewers can share in the thrill of knowing that on every show, one of our contestants could have the chance to become a millionaire. The Wheel of Fortune Million Dollar Bonus Round promises to become the most exciting 10 seconds on television." (PS to reader: You'll notice Harry used the word "could," which means that there's a gimmick here. Just not sure what it is...yet.)

E! reported this earlier today and now that I got an official confirm from HBO, you can consider this a lock: Jericho's own JLS is indeed joining "Entourage" next season, though few details on how long or doing exactly what. Per E!, she'll be "playing herself" and will be a "love interest" for someone. (Since this is E!, may I suggest E?) Herself? That would the ex-Meadow-Soprano-A.J.DiScalla. (And didn't I read somewhere - probably Wikipedia - that she's friends with Lance Bass? Potential cameo meat perhaps? ) Show start is Sept. 7.

Sorry, know I've been kinda silent on the blog front today, and it's not just because I was avoiding calls from Fox News (which for some reason wants an original print of my Newsday photo) or because I must come to grips with the fact that a "Friends" movie is probably not gonna happen now. (I still gotta believe...I still gotta believe...) It's not because I was amazed, gobsmacked, thunderstruck that the Bombers finally took one from the BoSox, or because Madonna is denying that she's got a thing going with A-Rod. It's not any of those things...

I've basically spent the day trying to get my head around HBO's "Generation Kill," out this weekend. (Reviews, etc. to follow.) And believe me, that it takes plenty of head to get around that one...

In any event, I did run across this nice interview with Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts in "Ladie's Home Journal," out this August. Got a transcript of it, and here's a couple outtakes (Robin announced that she had cancer last summer; she says here that she's doing fine):

How has cancer changed Robin? Quoth she, “It’s like a rebirth. I had a fairly good appreciation for life before this. I didn’t really need cancer to get my attention. But I am grateful for what it’s taught me and how it’s helped others. And I’m excited to feel better again. I remember someone said, ‘Soon you’ll wake up and cancer won’t be the first thing on your mind.’ It’s not the first thing on my mind anymore. Sometimes I go a long time without thinking about it… hours. But, before it used to consume my every thought. And then you realize you just want to get back to having fun, taking vacations and living your life. Because I do feel as though it’s been on hold for a little bit.”

Remember we told you a week or so ago that Michael Stomp 'Em Out Strahan was gonna do a cameo on "Chuck" for the Oct. 20? You don't? No matter. We're telling you now. In any event, we got right here the first pictures of Iron Mike's very first acting performance in a TV show. Based on these, I predict an Emmy...

Storyline: He plays Mitch, who's the boss of some store near Buy More, and his staff has taken to hanging out in Buy More's Home Theater Center. That leads to various frictions, conflicts, whatever, and there's a face-off between Morgan and Mitch. Only problem: Mitch is about 275 pounds, and he singlehandedly stomped out the New England Patriots (along with Osi Umenyiora and a few others; go Jints.)

Why why why is Mike doing this? After all..he just joined Fox Sports a week ago as an analyst with Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson, and show host Curt Menefee. (He announced his retirement June 5.) My guess is - fun, and covering of bets..."If Brit can do this," he mused to himself, " So can I..."

Photos by Adam Taylor/Warner Bros. Television; thanks Adam...and Diana.

Okay, now that we've got a firm "yes" from ABC we might as well go ahead and tell you, if you don't already know: Michael Imperioli will indeed join "Life on Mars" for the fall. Reported in the trades yesterday but ABC has now said that in fact this will happen. "LOM?" Based on the Brit show of the same name and about a cop (Jason O'Mara in this version) who's hit by a car and wakes up to find himself in the early '70s. We've got a fish-outta-water tale, with cultural issues, policing styles, etc. and a general commentary on society (and social mores.) David E. Kelley was attached, then unattached. But Christophah is definitely attached: He'll play Det. Ray Carling, who'll be partner to O'Mara's Sam Tyler.

After years of speculation, this could happen, finally. A "Friends" movie, with all the original friends. Older, wiser, and still friends. The British press - of all places - is filled with stories this morning that a reunion movie has finally been agreed to, and of course they're all referring to the fact that "Sex" did so well, so therefore the cast (and Warner Bros.) has "incentive," both financial and emotional. Plus...the principals haven't exactly decamped to George Clooney-land, so why not?

Here's the Guardian lede, which - like me - can't resist the play on "The One in Which..."

"Will it be The One Where They Make a Movie, or The One Where They Talk About Making a Movie and Then Never Get Around to Actually Doing It? Either way, the Hollywood rumour mill is currently abuzz with speculation that the cast of Friends could be set for a reunion on the big screen. Spurred by the box office success of the Sex and the City movie, Warner Bros has reportedly green-lit a feature-length overhaul of the hit TV sitcom about six bantering Manhattan buddies."

The Mail says everyone's on board, etc., so this can and will really happen.

As you know, the final two-parter aired four years ago May. These guys - of course - won't be middle-aged, but heaven knows, the bloom of youth has given way to something entirely different. Still, a hit is a hit is a hit. This one could, maybe, work.

[BTW, the vigilant TVtattle.com found this quote from Lisa Kudrow from a week ago in the National Ledger. She make's a pretty good point here: "I think it would be so fun to be with all those people again, but our show was not like 'Sex and the City,' which was a single camera, filmic show anyway. Ours was multi-camera, in front of a live audience. It's a completely different feel. You'd have to bring the tone down, and I don't know how it would be. I'll just stay open."]

And...before I let this oversight go one more minute, did you know that the Washington Post has a "Lost Book Club" too? ABC.com launched one yesterday, but the WaPo's Jen Chaney tells me they've had one up and running for months. Says Jen, "I thought you might be interested in taking a look at our Lost page, which features an archive of our book club material, including the blog posts announcing each month's book selections and the online discussions on each one. We kicked it off last July with 'Watership Down.'" So...check it out here. It's a terrific page in general for "Losties" and not just Losties who are lit majors...

It's not often you open a press release from the folks at Media Matters and laugh out loud, but that's pretty much what I did this afternoon. Ever-enterprising, "MM" studied some photos of NY Times TV reporter, Jacques Steinberg, and TV editor, Steve Reddicliffe (which Fox News aired on "Fox & Friends" this ayem) and determined that they had been photoshopped.

Photoshopped in a way not particularly complimentary to my hard-working counterparts at the Gray Lady. In fact, I do believe Fox turned them into serial killers or psychopaths. You be the judge...

What was their sin? Having the GALL to question the fact that FNC's ratings are blah while CNN/MSNBC's are growing. Here's what Loosey Goosey Doocy said on the air this morning:

"There was a hit piece by somebody in The New York Times. The writer was a fellow by the name of Jacques Steinberg, and he's been doing a bunch of attack stories on Fox News Channel. Well, there's some backstory to it, and that is this: His boss, the guy who assigned him to this, is a fellow by the name of Steven Reddicliffe, and Mr. Reddicliffe actually used to work for this company. He worked -- I think he was the editor in charge of TV Guide until circulation went down under his tenure -- something like, 40 percent. So, he got fired, and according to Radar Online, this guy has had an ax to grind."

Then, up come the pictures! MM has the real pix on the left, the doctored FNC one is on the right...Get me makeup!!!

Naturally, got me to thinking - what would those photoshop trolls at FNC do to ME if I had the temerity to question the deterioration of their ratings...

This is big news, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to sit down.

Have you sat down yet?

Good. Well, here it is. Oh wait, you've already read my headline, so you know what I'm about to lay on you: Shannen Doherty is "in talks" to join the "Bev Hills 90210" remake, although I must say that the phrase "in talks" as it applies to Doherty seems rather tame: I'd prefer "in screams."

So let's go with that. Shannen Doherty is in screams to return to the show that made her Shannen Doherty. Perez Hilton is reporting this ayem, and I'm of a mind to believe it. The reasons are evident. She's trying to sell one of her Malibu homes (how many does she have? I don't know. Hold up your hand and count your fingers). Her TV career, such as it once was, has been reduced to "Breaking up with Shannen Doherty." She is now, and pretty much ever has been, famous for being infamous. Why not be in screams to return to this re-make?

If true -- and again, I believe it -- then this would catapult this show (which could actually save the entire CW from cancellation) into a whole new realm. Of course, a great and exciting realm. First of all, the newbie would have to deal with a vast amount of back stuff -- like where DID Brenda disappear to after season four, and was her love with Dylan forever and ever, or just one of those prime-time fling things?

And of course, if you bring back Brenda, you gotta deal with Dylan -- who was, I'm also insulting you with this utterly needless reminder, Luke Perry. What about Dylan? Will the producers try to get a cameo outta Luke? Will he even show up to the same room as Doherty? And Brandon? He's roaming out there in prime-time limbo, too. With Brenda onboard, that's going to have to be resolved too. It's not enough to write the script this way: Brenda: "Oh yes, I still deeply love Dylan, wherever he is ... Brandon's on the phone? I'll take it..."

Jason -- will you too take the call from the producers?

Meanwhile, if you're still with me, here's a six-minute clip from the 10-year reunion. Proves that the rest of the cast doesn't TOTALLY hate Shando, but then these are actors. One never knows, does one?

Today marks the 53rd anniversary of the debut of "The Lawrence Welk Show," which is still airing in reruns on WLIW (and many other PBS stations). I am a big-time, Johnny-come-lately fan of the show, something that I am not ashamed to admit and in fact have said so many times in the pages of the Newsday.

Anyway, the idea that Mr. Welk was hostile to rock and roll is not 100% true. And I'm not just talking about the time his clean-cut crew performed Brewer and Shipley's 1971 druggie hit. "One Toke Over the Line." (The video briefly became an internet sensation last year.)

In this clip from 1963, the surf band The Chantays, whose "Pipeline" is one of the coolest r&r; instrumentals of all time, performed on the show. Well, actually from the looks of it, they're instument-syncing, but the point is, they were here.

No indication whether Myron Floren played "Wipeout," but the indifferent expressions on the faces of the Welk band speak volumes.

Here's a great idea. Really. ABC.com is launching a "Lost Book Club." The press release says it all, or most of it, so here ya go: "Do you need a 'Lost' fix? Beginning today, ABC.com is launching the "Lost Book Club" which will give fans new insight on books that have been either seen or referenced throughout the dynamic four seasons of 'Lost. The book list will be added to regularly on ABC.com, with a list also available for audio download on the iTunes Store...Also available on ABC.com will be a message board to discuss the titles, a synopsis of each book, along with when and how it was referenced in the show, and an introduction by co-creator/executive producer Damon Lindelof and executive producer Carlton Cuse. Book examples include Sawyer reading 'Watership Down,' Juliet’s book club reading 'Carrie' [during the book club, no less] and an orientation film hidden behind 'The Turn of the Screw.'"

But the challenge is obvious. Think of all the books on this show - dozens, and thematically, you could say they were not exactly conceived under the same roof. This will be one bizarro book club - fun, interesting, wild, and a little/lot schizoid. How else to describe a book club that will include selections like Clancy's "Rainbow Six" (above) and "The Wizard of Oz?"

Just when I think I've seen it all, I realize: I haven't seen it all. There's much more to see (Spencer & Heidi, in "Hitched," for example.) Much, much more.

On July 15, G4 - the Comcast entertainment web that's basically designed for the mentally depleted who can't tear themselves away from their vidgames - will debut "Hurl!"

The line: "Brave contestants consume massive portions of all-American favorites and are then strapped into nausea-inducing contraptions designed to shake them up. The contestant to hold his or her food down the longest claims victory and walks away with a cash prize and, most importantly, serious bragging rights. Challenge winners with the best time who complete all rounds without hurling at any point, earn the highly coveted and elusive 'Iron Stomach Award.'”

"The competition consists of multiple rounds beginning with a speed-eating contest that features popular foods ranging from chicken pot pies to New England chowder, tuna casserole, hot dogs, blueberry pie and more. In the second round, contenders that ate the most in Round One move on to a physical challenge designed to cause even the strongest stomachs to rebel, including carnival rides, mechanical bull-riding and Sumo wrestling."

"In the final round, contestants must sit through the season premiere of 'Hitched,' starring Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag..."

[I'm just kidding. This last one isn't really part of the competition. But it should be.]

One of the comps is called "Balls of Hurl,” whereby "contestants eat as much Mac & Cheese as they can, then strap into steel-caged Human Bowling Balls and careen down LA's famous 2nd Street Tunnel. Pumpkin pie awaits those who don't blow chunks in the balls… and then it's on to another spin."

Don't you just love TV?

I love these gimmicks - they offer the possibility that I too will one day be as famous as Spencer Pratt, and maybe get my own reality show.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Here's the deal: AMC is launching a contest to a.) get more people to watch its break-out hit; and b.) Offer a lucky Pratt wannabe to stand next to Don Draper and tell him how to create a new campaign for Clearasil.... The cameo will air in the third season (which I don't believe AMC has even officially announced yet.)

Details, per AMC: "Just perform pre-selected lines for Don Draper, Pete Campbell, Roger Sterling, Betty Draper, Peggy Olson or Joan Holloway and send us your video." I checked out some of the lines, and they're pretty well-known to "MM" fanatics - like the one after Roger recovers from his heart attack and tells Joan Holloway (right) what, ummm, a nice lady she is, and how lucky he is to have, ummmm, known her. Or the time when Campbell says he invented direct marketing.

AMC says to go here for more details and how to enter, etc.

And...the second season begins July 27. But you already knew that.

At first, and like everyone else, when I heard the idea, I doubled up in agony, my very soul torn - nay, ripped - by the idea of such a monstrosity. Then, my stomach turned. Then, my head reeled. Then, I collapsed on the floor, writhing in nausea, wracked by a sense of futility, and plunging into a psychic - nay, existential - despair so deep and dark that I feared for my very sanity. (And still do.)

Anyway, this is kinda how I reacted when I first heard the idea of a Heidi/Spencer reality show. It would follow these two around after they got married - you know, to stores. It was sort of a "Nick & Jessica Meet Heidi & Spence and Go Shopping." It was first reported in early April by the Keith-Olbermann-loving "Page 6" crew.

I could see this show in my jaundiced mind's eye, as they went from Bottega Veneta, to David Orgell, to Dolce & Gabbana, to Louis Vuitton, to Ungaro, to Prada Epicenter, and finally ended up at Liz Lange Maternity.

Cut to tight head shot of Spencer, as he's thinking, "could baby make THREE?"

Why ponder this again? Because USA Today had the biggest story of the week so far yesterday, and wrote - contrary to popular opinion and all that is holy - that this SHOW IS ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN.

Here are outtakes, in case you missed this, as I did, until just a few minutes ago:

"This August, she and Pratt are headed to Africa to 'feed children and help build things,' [says Heidi.] Cameras will capture their trek, but not for 'The Hills.' Pratt says it's possible they could adopt a baby while over there, but Montag laughs that idea off.

"'Not right now,' she insists. 'I think we'd be married before we do that.'"

[Translation: They're not gonna spoil that money shot of Spencer reax at Liz Lange.]

Now, here's the rest.

"Montag and Pratt will wrap up their time on 'The Hills' after this season and launch their own MTV reality series along the lines of Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica — Montag's all-time favorite show.

"Any concern such constant camera presence could lead her and Pratt down the same doomed path as the since-divorced Lachey and Simpson?

"'I don't really feel that way,' she says. 'You're either going to make it as a couple or you're not. I love cameras, but the cameras aren't with us when we're falling asleep at night.'"

It's OK. I'm feeling much better now. Thanks for your concern. After I get off the phone with my shrink to get a re-fill, I'll get right over to my friends at MTV to ask the obvious questions.

"Hi everyone. It's me! And Heidi! We're getting married. And we're going to have our own TV show. And you're going to watch because you can't help yourself! And we don't care about cynics, and miserable critics - those sad lifeless creeps who can't afford even a toothpick at Dolce's. We're in love, and we're going to Africa and we're maybe going to adopt a baby and run into Brangelina. Cameras will follow us. We'll be even more famous. Did I say - we're in love? Well, we are." Picture: People Mag.

Will "House" be shut? Will "Lost" get lost? Will the lights dim on "FNL?"

Gulp. What's a "de facto strike?" Is it like being half pregnant, or halfway to being half pregnant, or WHAT?

In any event, the negotiating arm of the studios - the AMPTP - last night released this statement, saying the industry was now in this half-way strike, just as the contract for SAG came to an end at midnight. It also said it had given the actors ifs final and best offer - which, interestingly and hardly surprisingly, was probably identical to the one the writers got last winter.

De Facto strike? This is what I think it means: That until actors agree to a deal, production will slowly and inexorably wind down, like some sort of giant clock, until... In other words, the AMPTP said last night - in effect - that no new production will take place until they've got a deal. This is a heck of a lot better than a studio lock-out, which was a remote possibility, but still chilling.

Also: While this is probably bad for movie production, it's less problematic for TV because series have remained in production since the writers' strike ended. They've done this not simply to fill the empty vault but in the possibility (likelihood) that this day would come. In other words, they can complete their orders, which means a full season of serial television in 2008-09.

Here's part of the statement: "Our industry is now in a de facto strike, with film production virtually shut down and television production now seriously threatened. In an effort to put everyone back to work, the AMPTP today presented SAG our final offer - a comprehensive proposal worth more than $250 million in additional compensation to SAG members, with significant economic gains and groundbreaking new media rights for all performers.

"Our $250 million offer is consistent with the four other labor agreements already reached this year with DGA, WGA, AFTRA Network Code and AFTRA Prime-Time Exhibit A. In addition, our offer addresses issues that SAG identified as being of utmost concern to its members, including tailoring our new media framework for SAG in areas such as feature films and significant gains for working actors."

Here's a bit of what SAG had to say:

"The AMPTP today delivered a last-minute, 43-page offer that upon initial examination appears to be generally consistent with the AFTRA deal, particularly in its provisions relating to new media. The union is reviewing the complex package and will prepare a response to management once that analysis is complete."

In other words, lets keep talking.

So, will there be a deal? Will there be an actors' strike? Yes, to the first question, no to the second. Again, SAG is waiting for results of the AFTRA vote, due early next week. If that deal passes - expected - then SAG will probably eventually accept this one too.