Celebrities!
Reality TV!
Can anyone think of a more natural - if, on occasion, stomach-destabilizing - combination? TV producers can't, which is NBC will launch "Who Do You Think You Are?" on April 20. Produced by Lisa Kudrow and featuring Susan Sarandon and Sarah Jessica Parker, this one's based on the Brit series of the same name, and promises a "fascinating" and "informative" look at these "beloved stars" as they "uncover stories of heroism and tragedy, love and betrayal, secrets and intrigue that lie at the heart of their family history."
Sounds grand, but why? (Not famous ENOUGH already, eh ladies?) In fact, stars have been drawn to reality TV since the dawn of reality TV, about ten years ago, so this threesome is in (ummmm) good company. I know all you out there are trying to remember some of these celeb-based shows, which is probably taking you away from more urgent tasks at hand - like work.
So to make your life a little bit easier, I've put together this list of my own personal favorites. They may be your's too. (I've stayed away from the rather more visible ones, like "Celeb Apprentice," or "The Osbournes," or "DWTS" because otherwise this list would stretch from here to eternity...)
- "Being Bobby Brown," Bravo: Cameras accompanied lovebirds Brown and Whitney Houston on their rounds; viewers more shocked by Whit than Kev; she didn't seem all there, perhaps for pharmaceutical reasons...
- "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic," UPN: A series with a perfect title.
- "Hit Me Baby One More Time," NBC: Music show wherein faded celebrities like Vanilla Ice or less-faded ones like Wang Chung as they tried to jumpstart careers one more time.
- "The Contender," NBC: Mega-hyped boxing reality show, with Sugar Ray Leonard as mentor.
- "The Newlyweds" MTV: Nick and Jessica, need we say more? Yes, we must say more - the butt of jokes to this day. Jessica to Nick, upon being offered buffalo wings: "No thanks. I don't eat buffalo."
- "The Road to Stardom,"UPN: hosted by Missy Elliot, who by this point was on the road to un-stardom.
- "Armed & Famous," CBS: Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne, Latoya Jackson, Jason Acuna, and Trish Stratus try to become cops. Manage not to kill anyone. A classic of Kitsch that even Ed Wood might have esteemed.
- "Celebrity Duets," Fox: A Simon Cowell inspiration! What would happen if celebs with no discernible talent sing with other celebs who have no discernible talent? Answer: A run on earplugs across the nation.
- "Skating with Celebrities," Fox: Todd Bridges, Dave Coulier, Kristy Swanson, Bruce Jenner, and Jillian Barberie on blades. No one was killed in the production of this show.
- "The Cut," CBS: Tommy Hilfiger's attempt to squash "Project Runway." Would it be redundant to observe that this attempt did not succeed?
- "Three Wishes," NBC: Amy Grant grants three of 'em. NBC grants viewers one, too - cancellation.
- "I Want to Be a Hilton," MTV: Predicated on the profoundly dubious assumption that Americans were clamoring to Be Just Like Paris. Mom Kathy hosted.
- "The Ex-Wives Club," ABC: Marla Maples and Shar Jackson (ex-squeeze of K-Fed) give divorce advice. 'Nuf said.
- "Movie Life: House of Wax:" MTV bios on Paris Hilton, and the like. A wax-like consistency.
- "Strange Love," VH1: Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav in love. This one you could not make up. Subsets of this unique genre-unto-itself include "Flavor of Love," "Rock of Love" ...
- "The Surreal Life," WB, then VH1: VH! strikes again! Celebs - albeit rather diminished ones - co-habitate Hollywood Hills manse. First season entrants included Gabrielle Carteris, MC Hammer, Corey Feldman, Emmanuel Lewis, Jerri Manthey...
- "My Fair Brady: (VH1): Christopher Knight - "Peter" - gets married, gets divorced, gets remarried, almost gets another divorce, and gets drunk...all in three seasons.