The TV Zone

'Tis the season for bad news - Ted Koppel and Discovery have ended their production deal, begun with so much fanfare a couple of years ago, after Ted exited ABC News...

Reasons? Well, let Ted tell you, via press release:

"We've had some glorious opportunities to produce the kinds of documentaries that Tom Bettag and I love," said Koppel. "Among the most satisfying work we've ever done was last summer's four-part series on China."

Koppel continued, "There has been significant change in senior management at Discovery. Producing our kind of news-related programs is an expensive proposition. It has long been clear that neither of us is interested in an extension of the current contract. Discovery and I worked on terminating the contract a few months early under terms that both sides found acceptable. We leave with gratitude for the professional opportunities we've been given and for the generosity with which we've been treated."

Read between the lines here and...never mind, I'll read between them for you. TDC is focused, heavily, on launching that Oprah Network and a lot of other stuff geared to RATINGS and the almighty $$$$$$. I'm not criticizing TDC, which has done so much great work over the years that it's secured a place in heaven, but these are tough times down there in Maryland headquarters: A new boss (David Zaslav) and a publicly traded stock. No matter how terrific Koppel's work here was, it doesn't pay the dividends.

Next for Ted? I assume this will re-start those rumors of his going to "Meet the Press" But don't put too much stock in 'em. Is Tom Brokaw is ready to move aside? I wonder: He's done such a great job there, and the ratings have been so strong, and the succession issue remains so clouded that...who knows!...maybe NBC will prevail on TB to stay on even after the transition.

(Pix by Robert A. Reeder -- The Washington Post)

"Hosting 'Go for the Green,' a game show, is new territory for Tom," read the press release that hit my in-box not all that long ago. And after I dried the tears of delirious, hysterical laughter, I squinted to make sure that I had read this right:

Yes, I had. The star, producer and creator of "Freddy Got Fingered" has become a game show host.

For Planet Green (Tomorrow...at 8).

Which is an eco-friendly network that the Discovery Channel launched recently.

Exquisite irony.

Indeed.

The only thing "green" about Tom Green, I imagine, is the name; consider: Without Tom Green, there would be no "Jackass." Without Tom Green, Drew Barrymore might have married (and divorced) someone else. He is, or was, a cultural wrecking ball. Eco-friendly Tom Green? This has got to be a joke, right?

Wrong-o. Tom, you see, has turned over a new leaf (yuk, yuk - I've been saving that bad pun for days). He needs a paycheck too. Don't we all.

I checked out this latest from that very odd new network, Planet Green. I like Planet Green and what it's trying to do. What I don't understand is WHOM it's trying to do this too. Planet Green presumes that there are young kids out there who yearn for the eco-friendly life as earnestly as their parents yearned for 8-tracks of Yes albums and metal hogs that consumed gasoline by the tanker full. These young 'uns hope that the ozone can one day be closed, and that cars CAN one day run on cold fusion and that global warming CAN be reversed. They're a wonderful, glorious, ideological lot but...honestly, I've never met one.

I suspect most of the kids that Planet Green are looking for really ARE just about as green as their parents.

Tom's show, oddly enough, is fine. He's not a bad game show host at all - sort of dry, and his visage assumes this earnest, almost sad expression; he seems like a professor, who can hardly wait to get out of class.

"Which of the following is one of the 'dirty dozen' fruits that is not sprayed by pesticides," he asks contestants. "Peaches or pumpkins?"

The show culls down contestants "green" question by green question - the one who guesses most of these greenies correctly gets an "eco-friendly" trip to Costa Rica.

"Guess" is the right word here. Most of these contestants don't seem to know the difference between a peach or a pumpkin, much less answers to "green" multiple-choice questions relating to disparate stuff like trash compactors in Philadelphia or a beer called "Cascade Green."

It's a funky show on a funky network hosted by a very funky host.

I like them all. I just don't understand any of it. And I'm fairly certain I NEVER want to drink anything called "Cascade Green."

Grade: B-