The TV Zone

Have you seen enough "SpongeBob SquarePants" yet?

Never!

As you know, the 10th anniversary is upon us - next weekend will be that 50-hour marathon, or whatever they're calling it; hard to tell whether it's a marathon because Nick already airs 50 hours of "SB" every day anyway...

Here's the line from Nick: "The event airs July 17-19 and includes 50 hours of programming, including 11 SpongeBob premieres, all hosted by Patchy the Pirate. It also will include a top-10 countdown of celebrities’ favorite SpongeBob episodes, and the top-10 episodes chosen by fans at Nick.com."

[An aside: One of my few claims to fame, and indeed my only claim to fame, was in writing up the first review of "SB" in a newspaper 10 long years ago; I called this show - if I can remember - brilliant, a work of geeeenius, and easily the best show in history featuring a pineapple for a house, a snail named Gary, or a restaurant called the Chum Bucket. In fact, my favorite character was and remains Plankton - 1 percent evil, 99 percent hot gas.

I love you "SpongeBob," and I guess I always will...Happy Birthday, 'Bob, Patrick, Mr. Crabs, Squidward, Sandy...]

Sure, you're wondering about the "Spongebob" episode with Johnny Depp, and sure, the one person maybe in the entire United States of America who hasn't yet seen the clip, which has played almost 18 million times on Nick, is you.

That's why you came to 'Zone tonight - to see the clip. And here it is...Airs Friday, BTW.

See if you can guess who Johnny Depp is...(and thanks, as always to the splendid Corris Little of Newsday.com for making this possible...) Airs Friday at 8 - but you already knew that.

They love her - they really love her. From '08, and the big winner last night. (AP/Matt Sayles)

Naturally, I kid - pun intended - about the shocks. The KCAs - 2009 version - have come and gone, and here's your list. Is there ANYTHING on this that surprises here? (Selena Gomez maybe.) Nick just announced that ninety million votes were cast for this lot. And that is a bit of a shock because this figure is about three times more than the votes for an average "American Idol" top twelve contestant. This is the reason why the entertainment industry pours so much energy, attention and - last night being the perfect example - green slime into these awards year after year.

-Click here to see fun photos from the Kids' Choice Awards

-Click here to see photos of Miley Cyrus

MOVIES:
Favorite Movie
High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Favorite Animated Movie
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Favorite Movie Actress
Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical 3: Senior Year)

Favorite Movie Actor
Will Smith (Hancock)

Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie
Jack Black (Kung Fu Panda)

MUSIC:

Favorite Music Group
The Jonas Brothers

Favorite Female Singer
Miley Cyrus

Favorite Male Singer
Jesse McCartney

Favorite Song
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) (Beyoncé)

TELEVISION:

Favorite Reality TV Show
American Idol

Favorite TV Show
iCarly

Favorite TV Actress
Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place)

Favorite TV Actor
Dylan Sprouse (The Suite Life of Zack and Cody)

Favorite Cartoon
SpongeBob SquarePants

For those who missed last night, here's a good representative clip - the final four or five minutes, with the Rock, who didn't quite nail "Favorite Actor," but after this performance created a whole new image...

"Hey, Squidward, look who the kiddies picked..."

Kids have picked the president and anyone who reads the polls can pretty easily guess the results. But what's so interesting about the Nick tally, announced last night - other than the fact that Nick says the total of 2.2 million cast was the highest ever - is how close the votes were.

The tally: Barack Obama, 51% of the vote (1,167,087), and John McCain, 49% (1,129,945).

Hey, I thought the polls said O is ahead like 35 percent?

Nick always dutifully and redundantly point outs that the Pick the President vote is not scientific, though in a statement Linda Ellerbee says, "It’s important to take note of who won the ‘Kids’ Vote,’ simply because so many kids vote the way their parents will."

That's certainly true, but many don't, and what's amazing is just how well McCain did here. He's hardly an instantly or effortlessly "appealing" figure to young kids, unlike O, who clearly is - yet for some reason, plenty of kids checked "McCain." A good sign for the struggling Senator? Maybe...but the kiddies have picked the one who prevails in November four out of the last five prez elections.

No one ever has accused us here at TV Zone of being predictable - or rational, or logical, or... Here is where you get the news that matters - like the fact that "Yo Gabba Gabba!" will return to Nick Jr. on Sept. 22.

Huh? "Yo Gabbawa?" Good questions: This is a show for pre-schoolers about to enter its second season, but during the first season, the mainstream media discovered that some adults watched this show while inhaling cannabis. That's right - it's a head show. I can't begin to understand why, although if you watch the promo from last season (below), it may provide some clues...

Meanwhile, this list of guest stars could provide additional insight into why Cheech Marin has been TiVoing this show since inception: Jack Black, Melora Hardin (The Office), The Ting Tings (“Shut Up and Let Me Go”), The Roots, Andy Samberg (SNL), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock), Amy Sedaris (Strangers with Candy), MGMT, Rachel Dratch (SNL), Paul Scheer (30 Rock), Sal Masekela (E!’s Daily 10), Amare Stoudemire (Phoenix Suns), Jimmy Eat World (“The Middle”), Chromeo, Paul Williams (“Rainbow Connection”), Mates of State, Mix Master Mike (Beastie Boys), Ladytron, Datarock and Money Mark.

This is an off-beat post about an off-beat show, so if you're in the mood for neither, please move along. But it does bring to light a curious social phenomenon - a kids show that may be promoting cannabis consumption.

The show is "Yo Gabba Gabba," which airs on Nick Jr. (and I believe Noggin.) Yesterday, ABCNews.com posted a very good piece on the program, though noted that it's become not exactly a huge hit among kiddies aged 2 to 5 but among kiddies aged 18 and older. The piece was perplexed by its popularity and wondered exactly why something like this should encourage college kids to get stoned while watching it.

Watch this clip and you'll see why - it's one of the most viewed "Yo Gabba Gabba's" on YouTube and is truly a peculiar experience. Meanwhile, check out the next clip, from "Lidsville."; "Yo" (bowed in '07, renewed for '08-9) was directly inspired by the '70s lunacy of Sid and Marty Krofft, the grandmasters of bizarro kids shows. "Lidsville" was just one Krofftian oddity, and by no means the oddest.

Here's "Yo" - fasten your seat belts and remove any and all illegal substances from the household...Do not allow teens or college-aged students to watch....

Now, "Lidsville." Yikes...

There are a couple shows on Nickelodeon that I'm a reasonably big fan of and - even though I'm sure the first thought that'll come into your mind is, "well Gay, don't you think you're a little old?" followed by "jeez, nothing better to watch?" - I honestly don't care.

I watch a lot of stuff. That's what I get paid to do. (Tough job, somebody's gotta do it, etc. etc.)

They're "iCarly" and "Drake & Josh;" humor is for kids, as are both shows, but they're very well made, and are are skillful reflections (though hardly copycats) of a vast body of classic TV shows, from "Cheers" to "Full House." I like 'em and kids LOVE 'em; "D&J;" won the Kids' Choice best show award (semi-big deal - seriously) even though it's been in an endless repeat cycle for the last year and a half. The show's LONG been out of production.

The guy that created both is Dan Schneider. Memphis-born Schneider is both a hugely talented and hugely eclectic dude - a Harvard drop-out, lover of muscle cars, onetime pizza delivery boy, part time actor, and now the most important person at the most important network in the world for kids. He's created some of the network's most important shows - virtually all of the ones that don't have "sponge" or "Bob" in their title - and now he's got its other biggest hit, "iCarly."

Anyway, we had a nice chat a couple of weeks ago, and I lay on you here what he had to say about "D&J;" - fresh in my mind after the Kids Choice:

"No," he says, there will NOT be a "D&J;" movie set in New York; "I've been seeing that on IMDB [Internet Movie Database, the industry credit bible]. I don't know what they're talking about. Someone tricked someone. But I will tell you, there is talk, from everything I know, at Nickelodeon for another movie. They wrapped the show a year and a half ago, and we never did a last episode - I never asked the reason, but you don't want to disappoint kids - and the show really ISN'T over because they keep re-running it. But the buzz at the network is that they wanted to talk to the boys [Drake Bell and Josh Peck] about getting together to shoot a TV movie, like ['D&J; Go To] Hollywood' but maybe something a little bigger." (Do we hear "theatrical" perhaps?)

"They're into the idea, Drake's into the idea," and probably Josh, and Miranda Cosgrove too.

So, what sort of movie? Christmas movie? That might be "one for TV; I realized that in the fifty episodes [produced from '04 to '07] we never ever touched on Christmas."

So Merry Christmas, fans - a little early.

Miranda Cosgrove...Miranda Cosgrove...Miranda Cosgrove...

It's an amazing thing about this name. You put it in a blog, and like magic, your blog suddenly gets a million hits. And since my sole purpose in life is "click through," then...once again, "Miranda Cosgrove."

Who is Miranda Cosgrove? Oh puhlease.

If you have to ask, then move along. You must have better things to do. But if you've gotten this far, then you are absolutely reading this blog with bated breath because Miranda Cosgrove, 14, is only the BIGGEST 'TWEEN ACTRESS on the planet, and her Nick show, "iCarly," is seen by something like 100 million kids, and since they're the only ones that seem to use the Internet, then, excuse me, but I just have to mention the name one more time, Miranda Cosgrove. Plus, she was on "School of Rock," and "Drake and Josh."

Anyway - I know you want to strangle me - but here's the deal. I interviewed her about four hours ago. It was the highlight of my day. She's very nice, smart, has a very cute giggle, talks very fast, and I think she speaks English; you can't be entirely certain with these 'tweens.

So, here's the big news: There are going to be TWO "Drake and Josh" movies. The first one is "Drake and Josh in New York," and other one will be "Drake and Josh at Christmas." (Don't hold me to the titles; the first one is in pre-production, the other still in even earlier stages.) Super-duper kids producer, Dan Schneider, is doing both.

Who's Drake (Bell) and who's Josh (Peck)...Oh puhlease. If you have to ask...Etc.

More news: Josh Peck is expected to direct an episode of "ICarly" next season (they start taping the new season in May.) Plus, Miranda Cosgrove is going to star in both movies.

Whatever happened to Nick megahit, "D and J?" Says Miranda (Cosgrove), "little kids always ask, 'are there going to be new episodes,' and I usually say, 'there's a few more.'" She doesn't want to hurt their feelings and tell them it ended production well over a year ago.

What's she gonna do at the Kids' Choice Awards? (March 29, 8 p.m.) "Present, but I don't know what..."

What's she been doing with her time since she's not taping "iCarly?" "I've been playing a lot of 'Guitar Hero;' I'm on medium."

What's her favorite show? "'American Idol'...but missed the last couple weeks." Oh, yeah, she loves going to the mall.

What's new on next season's "iCarly?" "Some more love interests..."

Does she miss Drake and Josh? "Oh yes...they're like brothers."

What'll Josh be like when he directs?

"He'll be bossy."

Thank you Miranda Cosgrove. (And "iCarly.") I can hear the clicking already...

(Above, MC, with Tom Higgenson of the Plain White T's.)

Let's say (hypothetically) you have a nine year old who (hypothetically) watched the Tuesday night election media debacle, and then (hypothetically) asked you: "Mom (or dad), why should I bother to vote? Chris Matthews told me what's gonna happen already?"

So that you don't have to have this (hypothetical) conversation, may I suggest the following?

This Sunday at 9 - in between re-runs of "Drake and Josh" (new episode coming up!) and "SpongeBob" - "Nick News with Linda Ellerbee" will air its VERY FIRST "Kid's Primary."

This is actually a reasonably interesting development because this'll be the beginning of Nick's "Pick the President" campaign which - as you are no doubt aware - has had an uncanny track record in actually picking presidents going back to 1992.

The show'll do a lot of stuff - perhaps, notwithstanding, also diffuse kiddie cynicism and indifference after said Tuesday debacle. (Of course, there's always the risk kids'll flip over to NBC, and once again hypothetically ask, "mom/dad, why is NBC News covering the stupid Golden Globes, and not covering the presidential race?" But that's another conversation.)

Expect a bunch of stuff on what the primary system is; who the candidates are; and what it means to be a Democrat or Republican (can't wait to see that part!)

One little girl, Alyse, has this to say in the special: "I thought that politics were boring - they were just a bunch of old guys talking about nonsense that I don't care about. But now I can see that it does apply to me." (Alyse will one day learn that these are not mutually exclusive.)

Meanwhile, kids will be able to vote in this "primary" starting Sunday night, while votes'll be announced a week from now.

Had a chat with Linda the other day, and she is - as you are aware - a deeply serious newswoman who like everyone else is worried about the current state of network news and how the bloviating is undercutting the Democratic Process.

I asked her the best advice parents can give those rightfully cynical kids, and here's what she had to say: "The main thing parents can do is don't create a cynic out of a ten year old, even if you're feeling like one yourself. Don't grow your own. You can point out the flaws in the media coverage, but if you start by saying 'your vote doesn't count, only money does, and they're all crooks...' then you're probably going to encourage your kid to not take part in the basic democratic process.

"The trick is listening."

Here's where you need to go to find out how to vote.

(Picture of Linda: Gordan Munro, Nickelodeon.)

You-know-who at "Monster House" Opening; Photo: Richard Chavez

Thanks, Jamie Lynn! Here's another fine mess you're about to get Nickelodeon in: The network's considering a Birds-and-the-Bees news special to explain her pregnancy.

That's the word from a recent AP story, which adds that Linda Ellerbee - who most recently produced that Nick News global warming special - is under consideration for the job of teaching 9 year old viewers about...well, you know what about.

Let us add: This is hugely risky. Lots of critics will reasonably ask, since when did Nick appoint itself guardian and educator of the nation's children, particularly with regards this sort of subject? The network should expect the following: Angry letters, furious parents, broadsides from various right wing Evangelical, Catholic and other like-minded groups, as well as a special edition of "The O'Reilly Factor."

Ellerbee - let us also add - is terrific, but does she need this kind of headache?

Nevertheless, Nick may think this is the price to pay to keep "Zoey 101" on the air. The network's wrapped the fourth season, per AP, and certainly doesn't want to spike it. So why not a public service news special?

Here's a quote from the story: "I think it's important that something be done," Ellerbee told The Associated Press on Thursday. "But I think it's important that it be done in a measured way, and not just to feed the beast of news stories."

No confirmation yet from Nick, which is busy wrestling the beast.