The TV Zone

Off this week but no reason at the moment not to a.) Express my profound regret at the state of the New York Jets, as I do every year at this time (sometimes, most times, a little earlier than this); or b.) Post an interesting study by the Center for Media and Public Affairs, which said politicos were on late night TV more than ever, ever, ever before.

In fact, four times more often than in '04.

Please head on down to the jump for the full release, but here are the nut grafs; of note - the guys that did poorest seemed to be on the mostest...

"Presidential candidates made 110 appearances on late-night TV comedy/talk shows during the 2008 presidential election campaign, according to a study released today by the Center for Media and Public Affairs (CMPA). The study found that John McCain appeared more often than any other candidate...

"Candidates in the 2008 campaign went on comedy/talk shows more than four times as often as their predecessors in 2004, who totaled only 25 appearances. Candidates with the most appearances in Campaign ’04 were John Edwards and Al Sharpton (5 apiece), Howard Dean (4), and Carol Moseley-Braun and Wesley Clark (3 apiece). Hosts with the most guest candidates were Bill Maher (10), followed by Jay Leno, David Letterman, and Jon Stewart (4 apiece)."

Continue reading "Record deployment of late-night TV by pols" »

Eartha Kitt, who died Thursday at 81, had a rich showbiz career as a dancer, actress and singer.

But we'll always recall the sultry star as the third Catwoman on "Batman," following in the claw-steps of Julie Newmar and Lee Meriwether.

Here's a great clip of Ms. Kitt as Catwoman (teaming up with Cesar Romero as the Joker) in an episode from the show's jump-the-bat era (originally airing Jan. 4, 1968) , namely when Yvonne Craig joined the cast as Batgirl.

And ... for Christmakah, Paula gets ...

It's Christmas!

And Hanukkah!

The spirit of giving overwhelms me. So, without further ado, my stocking stuffers for some of TV's most deserving...

Katherine Heigl: smoking patch

Izzy: A ghostbuster

Speidi: Mexican divorce lawyer

Oprah: new diet plan

Ryan Seacrest, "Momma's Boys" creator: good taste

Paris Hilton: insurance

Tiffani Thiessen: pregnancy test

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: invite to White House Christmas party

"Hung:" Viagra

"The Office:" another guest star

Andy Samberg: Sequel to "J--- in my Pants," entitled "J---- at Lincoln Center."

Jonathan Rhys Meyers: Henry VIII fat suit

"Lost": an island

Golden Globes: respect

Jeremy Piven: a thermometer

Jennifer Garner: restraining order from Gary Busey

Sanjaya: another fifteen minutes, no ... another five.

Network TV: viewers

"Mad Men": show runner

NBC's Chuck: a date

Liz Lemmon: a date

Alan Harper: A ... altogether now ... date.

CW's Chuck: Blair.

Blair: Chuck

Paula: Simon

Simon: Paula

Howie Mandel: Year's supply of Purell

"Pushing Daisies": More daisies.

"Extreme Makeover": The Lilo edition.

"The Bachelor": True love. (Never mind - some gifts really are impossible. )

"Momma's Boys": A cancellation notice.

"Heroes": Comprehension.

... tonight's monologue has even MORE cold jokes:

"So cold, over on Park Avenue, they had a poodle… they had to chisel a poodle off a fire hydrant.

"And the suburbs are cold also. Up in Chappaqua, Bill and Hillary accidentally got into the same bed. It’s that cold.

"That’s not all. Listen to this – it’s so cold, that thing on Donald Trump’s head was actually wearing a thing on its head."

And sooooo cold Dave should even consider growing a beard again, for the rest of the winter, then...shave it off when he starts the "so hot" jokes this summer.

(Hairy Picture of Dave: John Paul Filo/CBS)

Well, that was bad for me. Was it bad for you?

Honestly, there's a reason MTV is prepping sixteen new reality series ("From Gs to Gents!") After all, how many more episodes of "Parental Control" can anyone stomach? Or..."The Hills?"

There's also a reason - a very good one - why viewership has melted away for this once mega-now-mini cultural phenom, where conflations like "Speidi" or feuds like Lauren v. Heidi seemed to once matter in some ethereal air-headed sort of way.

MTV's genius - wrong word but the only one that comes to mind at the moment - lies in churning out the sausage so fast that one clunker is verily indistinguishable from the next clunker until a certain clunker actually feels like it's saying something about modern American life, or saying something that a few million teen girls would like it to be saying. Until they're sooo bored. Which now appears to be the case.

Was anyone moved by that con job last night? Speidi not really a matrimonial team but actually married in a fake wedding in Mexico, or - as I think Spence put it - they weren't really "legal" yet. I guess that'll come as a surprise to the 25 million couples in Mexico who had the bad luck to be married there. Not legal! Move to LA and make it real there!

That judge: Didn't she have anything better to do? The city of Los Angeles (or was it Vegas? They all seem the same...) is in flames. Bodies are piling up in the streets. Justice must be meted out. But there she is, waiting around for Speidi to waltz in and announce their love, only for them to tell her that - oh, neverMIND.

"Who are you?" the judge innocently asked. As if this world-famous couple/not-a-couple were just hanging around outside her chamber, and then they walk in and she decides: "Why not? Let's have a wedding."

Who are they, judge? Don't worry. In another year, no one else will know either.

Then, Spencer - whose heart magically grew several times, from peanut-sized to at least walnut-sized - announced that they'd better hold off, just to make mom happy.

Or that "reunion" with Heidi and Lauren. Lauren almost looked like someone who JUST COULDN'T FAKE IT ANYMORE. Heidi gamely played along, asking if she "works out."

"Works out?" Apparently Heidi hasn't been watching her own show. The only thing Lauren's been working out at is hating on Heidi.

The writers should've given Heidi something surreal to say - something so bizarre, so outlandish, so peculiar, so amusing, that even viewers would say: Maybe the poor dear is going insane?

Like: "I've been reading Kierkegaard, but honestly, Nietzsche is more to my taste. By the way, have you been working out?"

None of this matters. Nor does "The Hills." Whitney was smart to move on to "The City." I can hardly wait for that episode on Manolo Blahniks.

Grade: C -

This is strictly for very hardcore "Heroes" fans only - everyone else will wonder, "whaaa..."

Me? I've gotta rush back to "The Hills Finale..."

Here's the latest webbie (short for "webisode," which is what NBC is making for a lot of shows now cuz they're cheaper and more viewers seem to be watching them then the real show, or non-webisode...) I believe this one is leading from volume three to four...

We have a little tradition here at TV Zone that goes back, oh, a month: We post the highlights from "Late Show with David Letterman" ahead of when the show actually airs because a.) we figure readers may want to go to bed before 11:35 and have too much stuff on their TiVo already and b.) the nice people at "Late Show" send the monologue to us. And c.) if the nice people at "Conan" or "Leno" or "Kimmel" sent us their monologues, we'd post those too. But they don't.

Dave, as you know, has a fixation on the weather. It's been cold in NYC, as you know, so here's the top of DL's monologue...

"You folks around the country probably know this but here in New York City, freezing cold! Am I right, Ladies and Gentlemen? It’s so cold today that that Bernie Madoff is actually looking forward to burning in Hell.

It’s so cold that the mercury in Jeremy Piven dropped below zero.

It’s so cold today that people were throwing shoes at Al Roker.

Oh, we’re not done yet. So cold today that President Bush was ducking ski boots.

So cold in New York City today that Madonna’s tongue froze to a Yankees infielder."

If you've headed over to Newsday's big, full, complete, no-story-left-unturned "Top Ten" compilations of 2008, you may have noticed a glaring omission - the biggest TV frak-ups of 2008.

Oversight hereby corrected.

Here's our list di tutti lists - the bad, the badder and the baddest of TV in 2008.

I've got the distinctly asymmetrical number of fourteen listed here, but as more baddies occur to me, I'll drop them in. By the end of the week, this could be the top 100 trainwrecks...

- The 2008 winner: Sue Simmons says to Chuck Scarborough, "what the FRAK are you doing?" A TV moment for the ages. Turns out Sue didn't know the cameras were rolling, and she, as a result, rolled merrily along...

- Gary Busey paws, sucks on Jenn Garner's neck. Danger! Danger! Do not go to a red carpet at the Oscars when Gary Busey is within a hundred miles. This remarkable baddy comes in second this year - so bad that even the New King of Bad, Ryan Seacrest, was taken aback by its badness. The priceless clip is at the bottom.

- Jane Fonda says C-word on "Today." Oh man, she slipped the word in as effortlessly as if she were using "and," "the," or "whatever." Whatever indeed.

- Diane Keaton says the F-Word on "GMA." "GMA" was still laughing at the gaff on their rival's air; and then, the laughter stopped, when Diane Keaton let slip this word. The other Diane - Sawyer - was stunned, then laughed, then asked the producer (I imagine) whether ABC's broadcast licenses were about to be revoked...

- Brooke White: Forgetful of the words, she stops, then starts, and gets a mouthful of rebuke from Simon Cowell.

- Paula Abdul: Forgetful of what she's actually seen, she tells Jason Castro that his second song didn't cut it, when in fact he hadn't sung it yet. Ry Seacrest - once again, at the intersection of Catastrophe Boulevard and Disaster Drive - says to Pauduhl, "you're seeing the future, baby..."

- Cloris Leachman calls Len Goodman a "bastard." And why not! He had just panned her imminently pannable performance on "Dancing With the Stars." Oooomph...

- "Survivor:" X-Rated! A shot of a guy's nether parts, unclothed as it were, made it on to the national airwaves. Hey, the edition was called "Earth's Last Eden," right? The guy couldn't find a figleaf.

- "Rosie Live!" I don't think Ry Seacrest had anything to do with this. But what a beast - song and dance numbers with plastic turkeys? The perfect metaphor...

- McCain ditches Letterman...and Letterman pulls up the live interview of McCain doing Katie Couric. A politician caught in a fib? Imagine. Dave went haywire for days, proving that there's nothing like a late-night talk-show host spurned...

- "Project Runway:" Somebody screwed up here. Or somebody screwed somebody. Whatever, "PR" may not air on Lifetime next season, or may not air on Bravo either.

- Fred Armisen's Obama: So bland it was even panned by Obama himself. Fred sorta saved the impression with the clever/less dull Joe Cool sketch.

- "Momma's Boys:" The worst reality show of the year. And guess who produced? Hint: Initials are "R" and "S."

- NBC: A whole network? Yes, why not?. A bad year for the Peacock, with the exception of a couple shows on Thursday and "Saturday Night Live,"

With Hanukkah beginning tonight at sundown, we thought it would be a good time to look at five TV episodes in which the Jewish Festival of Lights was a key part of the plot.

thirtysomething (Dec. 15, 1987) — Michael (Ken Olin) and Hope (Patricia Wettig) clash over whether their daughter’s first holiday should be Christmas or Hanukkah.

Rugrats (Dec. 6, 1996): The animated Rugrats (the products of interfaith marriages) celebrate Hanukkah while trying to settle a dispute between Grandpa Boris and his childhood rival Shlomo. Meanwhile, Angelica tries to find a TV to watch a Christmas special, and Stu Pickles tries to make it to the synagogue.

The Nanny (Dec. 16, 1998) — Fran (Fran Drescher) is excited about celebrating her first Hanukkah with her new husband and family. But Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy, C.C. (Lauren Lane) and Gracie (Madeline Zima) have to drive to Boston in a snowstorm, and Fran is worried sick when they don’t arrive on time after they run off the road.

The OC (2003-07) — The Fox drama popularized the interfaith celebration of “Chrismukkah.” On the show, Seth Cohen (Adam Brody) has a Jewish father (Peter Gallagher) and a Protestant mother (Kelly Rowan). So to make the holiday season go smoother, Seth claims to have “created Chrismukkah” when he was 6 years old. The series included Chrismukkah episodes for every season of its run.

Friends (Dec. 14, 2000): In “The One With the Holiday Armadillo,” Ross wants to explain Hanukkah to his young son, Ben, but the boy just wants Santa. So Ross decides to buy a Santa costume — but he’s too late and all the costumes have been bought. The only remaining costume is an armadillo

Here's a clip from “The One With the Holiday Armadillo.” Happy holidays!

Dick Cheney - you know who he is -- will be on "Fox News Sunday" this Sunday.

Yeah, Fox. Of course. What did you expect? "Countdown with Keith?"

But this will be very, very, very -- and I think I'll add one more "very" -- interesting. Chris Wallace will do it and the last time I checked, Chris is -- what's the word -- obstreperous.

However...there's been chatter that this interview was a "reward" for defending Prez Bush before Ron Howard at a recent screening of "Frost/Nixon." True? Thinkprogress says it's so...and apparently, so does Chris.

Come to think of it, so does CrooksandLiars.com

Whatever. Here's the release:

"Vice President Dick Cheney speaks with Fox News Sunday’s Chris Wallace in an Exclusive Sunday Show Interview. Vice President Cheney reflects upon the past eight years: The White House’s response to 9/11, the decision to go to war in Iraq, the detention and interrogation of terrorist suspects, the failed auto bailout, the economic crisis, the future of the GOP, and the incoming Obama Administration."

The last piece of the post-Russert era has fallen into place: Chuck Todd was just named Chief White House correspondent.

He replaces David Gregory, who went to "Meet the Press." Todd's a good choice, certainly, and was clearly in the running for "MTP" too. He did a fine job for the network as political director -- a job he'll retain -- and for as long as I can remember was reasonably forthright about the fact that John McCain had an uphill struggle against Barack Obama.

"Chuck truly made his mark in the 2008 Presidential election season where he
offered unmatched political analysis. His objective, smart, real reporting has
been honed through the years in Washington and makes him uniquely qualified to
lead our White House coverage team," said NBC News prez Steve Capus in the release.

Meet HBO's New Mr. Big

Giving the go-ahead to a financially well-endowed project that could either become hard on the career of fast-rising Tom Jane or a real rocket in his, ummm, pocket, HBO has picked up the series "Hung."

"Hung": Not, repeat, not about the career of William Hung. Besides, I think Dr. Evil has rights to that one.

HBO leaked this huge story to the Hollywood Reporter.

For the obvious reason.

This new HBO series will be about a guy who has a large...ahhh...hmmmm.

How to put this?

A big... Will someone help me on this one, please?

HBO reportedly rejected the titles "Shaft," "Tool," "Power Drill," "Captain Winkie," "Noodle," "Willie," "The Unit," and "Jack in the Box" because they were insufficiently descriptive or already in use by other shows or fast-food chains.

But really. How is this going to work? Tom Jane will star, and his solid career is either going to get a boost, or retract, dramatically.

He'll probably get a lot of dates though. (Isn't he, like, already dating or married to Patricia Arquette? I wonder what she has to say about this?)

Here's the long and short of it: HBO has picked up the series about a high school basketball who's been having trouble getting a raise at work. Because his finances are flagging, he decides on a plan! Use his mmm...large....ahhh....to....ummmm.

Think: "Weeds"-Meets-Long-Dong-Silver.

Seriously, people. How am I gonna write about this show for the Newsday.

In print, I'll have to refer to it as "H***." Much, much worse, readers will have to endure sophomoric blog posts filled with flaccid double-entendres.

Will air next season. Suddenly "Sex and the City" seems like "Anne of Green Gables."

It's not often we at 'Zone' drift down the Great White Way, but this is about Jeremy Piven, and this post is most definitely worth making an exception for: He's quit Mamet's "Speed-the-Plow" after missing a couple of performances.

Still out partying with Brit, were we, Jer?

Or recovering from the partying (after all, Brit will only turn 27 once, right?).

The truth, in fact, is even stranger, as it so often is. He says he's got a high mercury count.

Here's the top of the Variety piece. Mamet's quotes are priceless:

"Piven has informed the producers that he hasn’t been feeling well and that the condition is attributable to a high mercury count.

"The show’s producers weren’t returning calls, but Daily Variety reached out to David Mamet, who wrote the showbiz satire and seemed skeptical of the reasons for Piven’s departure.

“I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury,” Mamet said. “So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.”

"Mamet indicated that the show will go on despite Piven’s exit.

(Photo from Getty, taken when mercury count was lower.)

If you got 'em, smoke 'em.

And I keep getting 'em, from "Late Show with DL." These top ten clips.

So ... here's the latest, this one from "Cable Guy."

And away we go ...

Interesting just-concluded conference call with Simon Cowell, who went on at considerable length expressing:

a.) His horror at what happened vis a vis Paula Goodspeed;

b.) That "Idol" producers had no idea she was a Paula stalker;

c.) Seemed to suggest -- by his extended answer -- that the Goodspeed suicide wasn't met with a shrug inside "Idoldom" but -- in all likelihood -- was seen as the public relations fiasco it very nearly turned out to be.

Here's his quote. The first one I broke out because it's colorful and came in response to a question about whether he was bored/distracted with the controversy that always seems to accompany the show...

"It [Goodspeed's death] hit us like an express train, so I DON’T like that kind of controversy connected to the show because it upset me a lot...

"I want to say one thing because we’re talking about a tragedy. I don’t like referring to this person as a stalker – let’s refer to her as a fan. What happened was awful, and my regret in all of this is we didn’t know how sick this person was.

"If I could have gone back in time, I wish we could have spent time trying to help her, but we genuinely didn’t know. The process on how we select on American Idol is open – we don’t research people and if everyone turns up, they want to be on the show.

"I would assume that everyone who auditions would know what it’s like, i.e., if you’re not very good you’re going to get criticized. Also, we will sometimes talk to contestants beforehand and say to them, welcome to 'Idol,' and if you don’t like criticism, please don’t come into the audition room. And no one’s ever left.

"Producers – these guys have the utmost integrity as human beings [and] we take them on their word that they didn’t know this person was as troubled as she was. Talking about the producers in the way they’ve been portrayed is unfair; it was their idea to do ‘Idol Gives Back.’ These aren’t bad people. All they want to do is make a successful show.

"They’re absolutely horrified, but I can’t point fingers at them and say they knew everything about that person because that wasn’t the case.”

Did Tom call Dave "glib?"

Did Tom jump on Dave's couch?

(Does Dave have a couch?)

Watch the clip to find out.

(TV Zone Pledge: No TV host or couch was injured or insulted in the making of this "Top Ten." P.S. Cruise is a good sport here.)

Lotsa little news items today -- nothing big, but certainly worth noting in our on-going feature, "Catching up with the News." So...let's get right to it!

- Oprah's Harpo signs a deal with HBO. For series, movies, minis, etc. etc. This replaces that old ABC one that didn't yield much. Unanswered question: How will Harpo (and O) do THIS when they've got that huge new network launching next year, and won't it conflict with it in some way?

- Simon talks to the press. Simon Cowell! Or Sico, as I've taken to calling the dear boy. Happens tomorrow, or today, if you're reading Wednesday. Unanswered questions: Will he compare himself to God? Will he say something really unpleasant -- but deliciously amusing -- about our beloved Paula?

- Some Turkish guy has accused Ryan Seacrest of stealing his idea for "Momma's Boys." Ha! I mean, really, HA! Wait till you see "MB:" No one in their right mind would want to claim paternity for this one.

- "Glee," or rather "GLEE," that Ryan Murphy "musical comedy" that sounds kinda like "HSM," got a green light from Fox -- a 13 episode order, and no start date. Rymu, as you know, is Mr. "Nip/Tuck." Per presser, "The one-hour series follows an optimistic high school teacher as he tries to transform the school’s Glee Club and inspire a group of ragtag performers to make it to the biggest competition of them all: Nationals."

- CNN's Candy Crowley -- lucky girl -- has an interview with Bush today; his first since the Shoe Moment. Her first question? Umm...hmmm...ahhhh

- Fans of TCM's wonderful series "31 Days of Oscar" will be happy to know that it's back this year -- in the month with only 29 days. TCM just announced -- and, you know, it's about all the various categories, one after another, and will be presented (I gather) as sort of classes, by Prof. Osborne himself.

- Possible Screen Actor's Guild strike vote was just zapped by a bunch of leading thesps, who told the less-leading thesps of the Guild not to authorize a strike...In a letter, "We feel very strongly that SAG members should not vote to authorize a strike at this time. We don't think that an authorization can be looked at as merely a bargaining tool. It must be looked at as what it is -- an agreement to strike if negotiations fail." Unanswered question: Is this strike ever gonna happen? Doubtful...

- "Today" has announced a year-look-back special, to air in prime next Monday, 8 - "2008: Today Looks Back, A Holiday Special. "Today" doesn't stay up late that often...Unanswered question: Is this part of "Today" Primetime Trojan Horse stratagem to take over 8 p.m. hour on NBC?

This just in, gang.

The one.

The only.

The JA.

She'll be doing a guest turn on the Super Bowl episode of "The Office," along with Jack Black.

The details:

"In one plot of the special post Super Bowl episode of "The Office," some of the office workers try to secretly watch a bootlegged Hollywood movie during the workday. Alba and comedic actor Jack Black will play characters in the bootleg movie.

The special hour-long episode titled "Stress Relief" will premiere immediately following "Super Bowl XLIII" Sunday, February 1 (10:30-11:30 p.m. ET; simultaneously to all time zones) on NBC. (Photo: Getty.)

Sanjaya Malakar, the faux-hawked phenom who dominated most "American Idol" chatter during the 2007 season, won't go away.

He's written a book, "Dancing to the Music in My Head: Memoirs of the People's Idol" that will be published by Pocket Books on Jan. 20

AND... he's coming to Long Island. He'll be signing copies of said "tome" at the Book Revue in Huntington, on Jan. 24 at 7 p.m.

BTW, the book promises that Sanjaya will reveal "pointers and inspiration" from Diana Ross and Jennifer Lopez and will explain all about crying girl Ashley Ferl.

And of course, he'll dish on the faux-hawk and whether it saved him from elimination.

(Photo, courtesy Fox Broadcasting.)

You get comic gold, you mine it.

If you are Dave.

Here are (most of) the shoe-tossing jokes from tonight's monologue...

"Well, I’m so happy you people are here tonight. Thank you very much. We had a rough crowd. You’re just happy because this doesn’t cost you anything. But honest to God – Paul, do you remember Friday night? We had a horrible crowd. Rough crowd here Friday night. I mean ugly. Nasty. Here’s how – I had to duck three shoes. Horrible.

You know what I’m talking about, Bush is in Baghdad, he’s having a press conference and a guy, a reporter, from Iraq jumps up and starts heaving shoes at the guy. And in Iraqi or Arabic, he starts screaming, “Here’s your farewell kiss, you dog!” That’s what the guy said. I mean, it was the same goodbye I got from NBC.

But it’s the same old story. You hear this over and over again. A guy, this crazy guy, goes into a Payless store and he purchases a pair of Rockport shoes and they didn’t even do a background check on him.

But you’ve got to give Bush credit. The guy moved pretty quickly. Moved pretty quickly. He reacted pretty good when you see him. Pretty quick. Moving pretty quick. Too bad he didn’t react that way with Bin Laden or Katrina or Bin Laden or the mortgage crisis or Bin Laden or Afghanistan or Bin Laden or the Lehman Brothers…

I don’t think Bush has really dodged anything like that since…the Vietnam War.

This leaked out earlier today and it's all over TVTattle.com (maybe Ausiello had it first?), but I do NOW have the official word from NBC:

Jack Black is definitely, positively on the post-SB show.

Here with the presser details:

"In one plot of the special post Super Bowl episode of "The Office," some of the office workers try to secretly watch a bootlegged Hollywood movie during the workday. The movie stars Jack Black and other notable Hollywood actors.

The special hour-long episode titled 'Stress Relief' will premiere immediately following "Super Bowl XLIII," Sunday, February 1 (10:30-11:30 p.m. ET.)"

Remember all that background noise last week about Paula Abdul leaving or staying? Which...I debunked because it's all part of the nonsense that happens every year at this time (or during sweeps) and is designed to get people writing about the show so other people tune in? (Or because someone's negotiating?)

The official word from on high, or Ken Warwick, boss and showrunner: It's bunk. She's staying.

But then we knew that.

Ken almost couldn't get the words out when the question came out in a recent conference call:

"There's never been any discussion that we would want to get rid of Paula, ever," he said. "We've never had the discussion. Is her job in jeopardy? No, it's not. Her job is not. I hope she's there to the day it comes off the air, end of story. Oh, contracts come up and people negotiate...but I have never been faced with someone saying, 'she's got to go [because] Paula is asking for too much money.' That has never happened. She's one of the foundations of this program. I wouldn't want to lose her and I'm sure America wouldn't."

What Ken may be referring to here is the fact -- reported last week by Radar -- that Paula is looking for a $3 million hike in her already vast salary (of $7 mill.)

Paula Goodspeed? That question of course came up, too. Ken pointedly said he had no idea that the sad woman was a stalker, and that he would never have let her in the audition had he known.

Now, you ask: Do I believe Ken Warwick on both of these points?

One Hundred Percent.

(2006 Photo: Kevin Winter, Getty)

Honestly, I have no idea what this clip is, other than the fact that it's the new season trailer (!), but my able and trusted colleague, Corris Little, shot it over to me and said -- take a look.

So...why don't we all just take a look together, shall we?

(Idle question of the Day: Would Jack Bauer ever throw his shoes at someone, like maybe a senator?)

Remember "Idol's" Wild Card episode? I'm not sure, but I don't think it's been around since the first few seasons. In any event, it's back.

This is the episode where the judges -- all four of 'em now -- select their own personal favorites to move on to the finals. Call it the "insurance" round, in which the good who may have been overlooked get another chance to survive into the finals...

Here's the key graf from the fresh presser on the new season schedule...

On Thursday, March 5 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), AMERICAN IDOL presents a special “Wild Card” episode featuring the judges' favorite remaining contestants. After each of the contestants perform, the judges will select the three final contestants who will round out the Top 12.

And, on March 10, the Twelve perform.

Anything else? Not sure...You be the judge. Check out the sked on the jump....

Continue reading ""American Idol:" Wild Card is Back" »

"Lauer, say your prayers - I'm about to re-arrange your face..."

Oh for the days of on-set fights, where Tom Cruise comes to "The Today Show" half in the bag, throws punches at Matt Lauer, connects a couple times, finds the nearest couch. Jumps on it.

And, then (long story short), security carts him away.

Oh for those days.

Instead, we get this morning's snooz-o-rama. Tom on his best behavior does not, repeat not, make for a compelling interview.

I'm pretty certain he was coached. First piece of advice from coach: "Don't make jokes about Matt's hair..." Second piece: Don't talk about psychiatry, lest viewers think you are in need of some...

Anyway, if you missed it, it was do dull, so sleep-inducing, so milquetoasty, that I'm not even gonna bother to hunt up the clip. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Here's the sound bite -- Tom sort of apologizing for that interview a few years ago...remember? -- where he called Lauer "glib" or something.

"It was a subject matter [presumably Scientology and not poor Brooke Shields) that was important and now is being debated in public [Really? Debated where and by whom? And what is the substance of this non-existent debate? Those are just some of the questions Matt declined to ask]. But after looking at it, I thought, it's not what I intended [Really? And what did you intend? More Lauer questions gone unasked]. In looking at myself, I came across as arrogant. [No you didn't. You came across as a lunatic]. It's one of those things where you go, I could have absolutely handled that better." [Really? You think?]

Good for Bob last night. Bob Crowley, winner of the 17th season. I liked him. He reminded me of my high school physics teacher.

In fact, he WAS my high school physics teacher.

I'm not serious, but really: For the first time, a "Survivor" winner actually matched the median age of the CBS viewer (58, or around there.) Amazing. But I'm happy for him. He pretty much deserved to win, although I figured Kenny would go into the top three. Susie? A surprise. Sugar? Not. Randy? Will someone please explain who gave this very angry man a mohawk in the middle of Africa?

Finally, how could Bob have made TWO fake immunity idols without anyone catching on? Don't you think someone would have wandered by and observed, "oh Bob, there you go again - making those fake idols. Which sucker you going to give it to now?" Maybe someone did say that - I just don't remember.

In any event, congrats Bob. As mentioned, this one you deserved - just remember to pay the taxes.

Not the Real David Paterson (But You Knew That)

Check this out: The Guv (that is Gov. David Paterson who was...well, just check out the clip...) was not happy with last night's skits.

Now...normally, most politicos just let the various slings and arrows on "Late Show," "Daily Show," "Tonight," "SNL," and on and on and on, sail over their heads like so many free commercial plugs.

Not Paterson. Here's his statement, released a few hours ago:

"The Governor engages in humor all the time, and he can certainly take a joke. However, this particular Saturday Night Live skit unfortunately chose to ridicule people with physical disabilities and imply that disabled people are incapable of having jobs with serious responsibilities. The Governor is sure that Saturday Night Live, with all of its talent, can find a way to be funny without being offensive. Knowing the Governor, he might even have some suggestions himself."

My read? The guy's under ENORMOUS stress! Huge budget shortfall! No money to pay for ANYTHING! MTA increases up the wazoo! Government crisis alert! And out of the blue, the "SNL" slam.

Advice to the Guv? It's a great honor to get the Full Treatment on "SNL" (unless of course, you're Blag'o...or portrayed as a bumbling wackjob with a drug problem.)

And - even though this IS/WAS Amy Poehler's last "SNL" ever, and because this IS/WAS the last episode of one of the most memorable seasons in its long history - attention must be paid for one more reason.

In all the excitement over Amy (below), forgot all about Fred Armisen's David Paterson.

I'm not sure who will be more bugged by this - Paterson or New Jersey?

And by the way, if you don't know already, the Guv was bugged. I've got another post on this, just above this one!

Meanwhile, I've got calls out to New Jersey to get a statement from the Garden state......

This, or rather that, was it: Last night show's was the final one for Amy Poehler, one of the greats of the most recent generation, and a future star on the network - once NBC gets that new show cued up for her. (Plus, there's the baby - Archibald "Archie" William Emerson Arnett - precedence must be taken.)

Here's the short, sweet clip from last night's show. Plus, check out Amy and Seth's very last "Really" together; it's nice to leave with comic gold (and of course we're talkin' about Blag'o - really.)

In a bit, I'll post some more memorable Poehler moments, and head on down to the jump for those...

As you know....Poehler joined right after Nine Eleven (and I believe her first show may have even been the first one on the air afterwards). She was co-"Weekend Update" anchor with pal Tina Fey; there were a couple of famous movies along the way (wrote "Mean Girls," for example), and finally the famous "Hillary" impression...

And so much more.

And the last - sob - "Really" with Seth Meyers (grade? A).

Continue reading ""Saturday Night Live: "Amy Poehler, Goodbye" »

Van Johnson, one of the great leading men of the 1940s, passed away Friday at the age of 92.

When his movie career tanked, he found work in regional theater and on TV, including a memorable turn on "Batman" as one of the Caped Crusader's wiliest villains, The Minstrel.

Have a look at him in a September 1966 episode called "Barbecued Batman."

I am writing a post at this moment about Paula Abdul of the "American Idol" show because I've learned the easy way that if you put the words "Paula," "Abdul," "leaving," "American," "Idol," "Simon," "crazy," "drugs," "sex," "Britney," "Spears," "K-Fed" and "If You Seek Amy" anywhere within a blog post, then Google picks it up almost instantly and said post becomes the top-rated news story on the entire web.

Before long, Drudge is linking...your site is getting hundreds of thousands of hits...people are wondering what on earth Paula has to do with Britney (or vice versa)...your site almost crashes...and the bosses think about giving the hard-working TV writer at Newsday a raise.

Let's see if this works.

OK, now to the substance of this post - Paula Abdul is not leaving "American Idol."

Here's why: Fox, 19 Entertainment (headed by Dr. Evil), and Fremantle are negotiating with her agents/managers/handlers at this moment for a $3 million raise, on top of her $7 mill per annum salary.

Radar reported this exclusively just yesterday.

I believe Radar; I'm less apt to believe MSNBC, which has her out the door, if only because money always, always, ALWAYS trumps everything in the TV biz.

Paula still pee-ohed about the sad Paula Goodspeed business? She'll get over it the minute the check arrives.

I don't know Courtney Hazlett at MS, who reported the "good as gone" story this morning, but I do know her work, and she's a good reporter and columnist. So no reason to quibble. But I do hope she laughed out loud when "the source close to Paula" told her this:

“Paula has a reality show on MTV (‘Rah! Paula Abdul’s Cheerleading Bowl’) and her jewelry line,” says a source close to Abdul. “She’s got no reason to put herself through the stress of the show if she doesn’t want to. She’s all but done; and given her other successes, she has no reason to be afraid about speaking out now.”

I'm laughing out loud just reading this again. "Rah!?" Her costume jewelry line?

"No reason to put herself through the stress of the show..."

Stress. Of the show?!!

HaaaahhoooooheeeehooohooohaaaahahhhaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....

I'm sorry.

I'm up off the floor.

"The stress of the show" - that line gets me every time.

Anyway, Paula's staying AND she's negotiating. And she's helping to promote the show - out in just a few weeks! - because all of this chatter (is she isn't she?) is designed to do exactly that. Go to the jump and check out this "Idol" piece from last May. Dr. Evil knows exactly what's he doing.

So does Paula.

Smart girl, Paula. Very smart, girl .

Meanwhile..."Britney"..."crazy"..."drugs"..."sex"..."If You Seek Amy..."

Continue reading "Paula Abdul. Leaving. "American Idol." (Crazy.)" »

The Muppets return to prime time this week with the NBC special “A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa.” These lovable creatures have been entertaining viewers since the 1950s, when Jim Henson first presented them on a local Washington, D.C., show. But for many Muppets fans, the high-water mark for Kermit, Miss Piggy and Co., was the incredibly funky “Muppet Show,” which aired in syndication from 1976 to 1981. Here are five memorable guest-star moments from that show:

1. Rudolf Nureyev dancing a pas de deux from “Swine Lake” with Miss Piggy.

2. Elton John singing “Crocodile Rock” to a chorus of crocodile muppets.

3. Roger Moore singing “If I Could Talk to the Animals” to a random group of Muppets.

4. Beverly Sills in a soprano smackdown with Miss Piggy in “Pigaletto.”

5. Julie Andrews singing “When You Were a Tadpole and I Was a Fish” with Kermit.

Here's 007 warbling that classic from "Dr. Dolittle" on "The Muppets Show":

Here's last night's big interview.

Bottom line: John McCain was funny, relaxed, and gracious. Dave was funny, relaxed, and gracious. Like a reunion of old friends.

Let's break this down real quick:

- Mac loves Hill-as-Secretary-State (and all the other choices Barack Obama has made so far.)

- Mac thinks Caroline Kennedy would make a great choice as her replacement in the Senate.

- Mac thinks Blag'o is a "rare combination" of stupidity and insanity (I think Dave's words were "is he either dumb or nuts?")

- Mac didn't even wanna MENTION that governor from Alaska (and Dave barely touched on the subject.)

- Mac declared himself a Democrat for life, repudiating all those stands he made over the last two years...(just kidding on this last one! Just kidding! But...still, you had to wonder...)

Good interview...Cue 'er up:

I'll bet you didn't know that "The Daily Show" once interviewed that governor from Illinois - you know, the one whose name no one can pronounce and who has been charged with so many crimes that even the Feds have lost count?

Jason Jones did the honors not too long ago. Check out this clip from last night's show - Jason's interview comes about ten minutes in, before the first commercial break. If you missed the show, it's well worth watching the whole thing...It's PDF.

Bill Irwin is one of the great (comic) actors of our time, and one of the great theatrical jack-of-all-trades whom few people have ever heard of.

Relatively speaking. Of course he's a superstar on B'Way. But on TV? Meh.

That could/should change on tonight's "CSI". I reviewed his cameo positively because it's kind of impossible to imagine this guy botching anything. He's a true renaissance dude, in the entertainment trade, and his serial-killer portrayal is eerie, chilling, creepy, scabrous, shrewd, and a little over-whelming - insofar as his image is beamed from a giant screen, giving his persona an even larger than life-or-death resonance.

Honestly, Irwin's Dick & Jane Killer actually kind of devours so much scenery that you almost forget that this ("19 Down") is Laurence Fishburne's first "CSI" outing.

But as you watch tonight, remember! This is Mr. Noodle! And just so you DO remember, here's a quick clip of his indelible "Sesame Street" performance. Go here to learn about his TV credits, and more stuff about this remarkable actor.

A quick note: This old clip features Mr. Noodle's Brother - played by another fine Broadway thesp, Michael Jeter, who died in 2003. (And...trivia quiz!...who played Noodle's sisters? You are correct! Sarah Jones and Kristin Chenoweth.)

If you missed last night's "Late Show with Dave" then you missed this clip below that you are about to click on, and certainly should...

Paula shows up to promote that new line of costume jewelry she's got coming out, and naturally, conversation shifts to that sick gambit by producers who let poor Paula Goodspeed into the audition room when they knew full well she was an Abdul stalker.

Dave - as you remember - was stalked by a similarly tragic woman some years ago, who repeatedly broke into his house. I don't think Letterman ever pressed charges, and even tried to help her the best he could (but she was later killed in an accident). So last night, when he told Paula to "sue the baboons" over the incident, I don't think he was kidding...

He barely let Paula speak. Her only response, "I've still gotta do the eighth season..."

(Dave shoulda asked her, are you doing a ninth?) After this, go to the jump for Dave's Top Ten ("messages left on Blago's answering machine.") No. 6 is - I warn you - laugh out loud funny.

Continue reading "Letterman to Paula (Abdul): "Sue the Baboons"" »

Da boys did good at da Globes...

The Golden Globes - Hollywood's silliest awards - seemed to me kind of un-silly in the TV categories, but a coupla exceptions. Check 'em out below...

Observations? The obvious ones. "30 Rock" cleans up. "Californication" - which all those foreign press guys really really like a lot (hmmm) - did pretty well too. And "True Blood" - "TRUE BLOOD??!!" - did really well too.

A nod for "Best Drama?" That's where the "silly" comes in. I suspect that HBO did a big full court press on the HFPA guys to grab all those noms for this and for "In Treatment" ("Entourage" makes plenty of sense) just as Showtime did for its noms.

These awards are of incalculable importance to the pay services for reasons that hardly need to be explained...

Meanwhile, nothing - nothing! - for "Desperate Housewives." That omission is beyond the beyond. (I guess ABC didn't buy the trade ads or send a million DVD copies along with bottles of expensive wine to the nominating committee.)

Also of note: January Jones finally broke into the Elite Five in the Best/actress category. Good for her. A well-deserved nod.

Also ALSO interesting: Kevin Connolly got a nod for best actor/ comedy for of course "Entourage" over the other guys. Interesting...why him? They're all equally good, it seems to me.

But then, I learned something a long long time ago. Never sit around and try to figure out the thought process that goes into these things. A fool's gambit.

Awards on Jan. 11, I believe.

Meanwhile, go to the jump for the complete list, including movies....

DRAMATIC TV SERIES

"Dexter"
"House M.D."
"In Treatment"
"Mad Men"
"True Blood"

BEST ACTOR, TV DRAMA

Gabriel Byrne, "In Treatment"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie, "House M.D."
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, "The Tudors"

BEST ACTRESS, TV DRAMA

Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: SVU"
January Jones, "Mad Men"
Anna Paquin, "True Blood"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"

TV SERIES, MUSICAL OR COMEDY

"Californication"
"Entourage"
"The Office"
"30 Rock"
"Weeds"

BEST ACTOR, TV MUSICAL OR COMEDY

Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Kevin Connolly, "Entourage"
David Duchovny, "Californication"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"

BEST ACTRESS, TV MUSICAL OR COMEDY

Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who?"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Debra Messing, "The Starter Wife"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

"Cranford"
"Bernard & Doris"
"John Adams"
"A Raisin in the Sun"
"Recount"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Ralph Fiennes, "Bernard and Doris"
Paul Giammatti, "John Adams"
Kevin Spacey, "Recount"
Keifer Sutherland, "24: Redemption"
Tom Wilkinson, "Recount"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Eileen Atkins, "Cranford" Laura Dern, "Recount"
Melissa George, "In Treatment"
Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters"
Dianne Wiest, "In Treatment"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Denis Leary, "Recount"
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Blair Underwood, "In Treatment"
Tom Wilkinson, "John Adams"

Continue reading "Golden Globes: They're Here!" »

Sorry - I think I made some sort of ill-advised promise to post every single thing said on the air about Jay Leno by every late-night host there is or ever was...

Very, very foolish. Anyway, here are a couple. Let's cue Jimmy up first. Next, to the jump for Craig. Both amusing...

Continue reading "Jimmy Kimmel, Fergie: From Last Night" »

Remarkable! He loses an election and now, Dave can't keep him away.

Mac is back: Tomorrow night.

Check it out.

Actually, as we all fondly remember, Mac did finally show up a little while before the election, and told Dave that he "screwed up" the time he missed the show. Mac had been Dave cannon fodder for weeks and weeks before that. This'll be his 14th visit.

Here's my question: Where's Sarah? I believe Mac said he would get her to the show - oh, forgot, they're not friends anymore.

"Should I kick your butt now or later, Lauer?"

Anyone remember that Matt Lauer interview with Tom Cruise on "Today" three years ago? Fireworks, I tell ya, fireworks! It was crazy. Tom called Matt a "girlyboy," challenged him to a duel, pulled out a bottle of hootch, got drunk, and then busted up the "Today" set.

It even made the front page of the "NY Post."

But, I'm exaggerating a little. He actually called Matt "smug," and it was that day when I finally learned the meaning of the word. (Actually, an astute reader, Trish, points out that he actually called him "glib;" unfortunately, I still don't know what that word means, so I'm sticking with "smug." )

Anyway, Tom's back with Matt next Monday - probably to promote some movie I won't see. Until it comes out on DVD. If then.

"More than three years after Tom Cruise's unforgettable interview with Matt Lauer, the three-time Oscar-nominated actor returns to 'Today.' On Monday, December 15, Cruise will sit down once again with Lauer for a live interview in Studio 1A.

"Cruise will talk to Lauer about his latest historical thriller, "Valkyrie," and..."

Hold it right there, press release. His "latest historical thriller?" I heard it was a "laugh-out loud comedy..." Back to the press release...

"his role in the much buzzed-about film. The legendary actor will also chat about his distinguished career, his family, including wife Katie Holmes, and children Connor, Isabella and Suri and their life at home."

(Honestly, do not be fooled. These guys are pals in all probability. Cruise even went to Matt's recent roast...)

Click here to see photos of Tom Cruise through the years.

Monologues!

(If only I knew how to spell the word.)

In any event, the rumor is, Conan O'Brien - the guy who used to write for "The Simpsons" and has also done a great job at "Late Night" and now must deal with press speculation about his "state of mind" - had a monologue tonight, too.

NBC sent me the whole thing, via e-mail (mmmm, e-mail.)

Herewith the relevant parts, and on the computer monitor, they REALLY DO LOOK sincere:

"Let's talk about this on a serious note for just one moment, I've had many people calling me today saying, "What is all this? ' "What's happening?" Jay Leno is going to be going in at 10:00 on NBC. I wanted to make something very clear here on the show this evening. I've known about this for a while. I've talked a lot about this with Jay. I am thrilled. I am absolutely thrilled that Jay is staying at NBC. He has been my lead-in on this program for 16 seasons. He is a fantastic lead-in. He is a huge part of my success. I am indebted to Jay Leno. And I love the idea that that relationship is going to continue. He is going to be my lead-in continuing, I hope, for a long, long time. So congratulations to Jay Leno. (APPLAUSE) This is a happy ending. It's very nice. We're thrilled for him and we're thrilled for everybody at the Tonight Show. Also I've talked it over with my producer and that means I can keep doing my Jay Leno impression."

Like I said, it looks like Conan really means this.

Next...Jon Stewart's monologue...and Ferguson's...and Kimmel's..and

(This wonderful photo was published in "EW" after the Writers Strike. Photo by Justin Stephens.)

Yes, yes, yes, yes..

Jay had some jokes in his monologue too.

But we've already heard a couple of 'em, in his press conference today. (Example? That "disgruntled employee" who spread rumors about him going to NBC? "ME."

At least we got one fresh one in the monologue that was taped...ohh..just about 40 minutes ago. Not bad. Here it is (again, do NOT blink...):

When people heard he was going to primetime, they were "shocked...shocked when they heard NBC still had a primetime."

...A nice one.

...A funny one.

...An oblique one.

...A quick one. (If you blink, you'll miss it.)

...Are you ready?

...Here it is (at the very outset of tonight's monologue...now, don't blink...)

"Welcome to the LATE SHOW. Still at 11:35."


(That's it. I hope you didn't blink.)

And yes, there was actually another one.

Also oblique.

Also funny.

(Don't blink.)

Here it is...

"Well, President Elect Barack Obama met with Al Gore yesterday, earlier today. The meeting went well. Obama offered Al Gore the 10pm slot. And he said yes."

Okay, now just the facts (ma'am).

Just got off the conference call and here are the key things you need to know...

1.) Probably called "The Jay Leno Show," tho Jay said his mother thinks he's got his "name on too many things.."

2.) It will start in the fall of '09.

3.) NBC execs cited "stability" to the lineup and "DVR-proof" as two obvious reasons to do this.

4.) This new show sounds SUSPICIOUSLY like a show called "Tonight." Said Jay, we'll do "the monologue, drop in the news, topical stuff, headlines - people like that - man on the street. It won't be exactly the same. It'll be more of a sense...it won't be comedy/comedy/first guest/musical guest. We'll hopefully get out of the studio a a little bit more and come up with some interesting things on a nightly basis." Uh-huh.

5.) Ok, this does sound as vague as the man in the moon BUT Jay said it all came together in only the last week.

6.) No, no problems with Conan. "People like to see an adversarial relationship. There really isn't tension. I spoke to him last night, and quite frankly, I think it's fair to say that our show does better than a lot of 10 p.m. shows so that's a good lead-in for Conan. I've always given Conan a lead-in from my show in the past and we'll continue to do that." Uh-huh.

7.) But...umm. What about fighting over guests? (I mean, you can't very well tear Will Smith in two, can you?) "It's no different than it is now. Sometimes Conan gets [guests] sometimes I do. Do we fight to get them? Sure. But I'd rather fight with my family than the other networks..."

8.) Did he plan to leave? "Originally, I wasn't going to stay with NBC but I remembered what my parents told me, which is - whatever you do, always try to come in fourth." (Ba-dum. Pretty good joke. I wonder if he pre-cooked it? Hmmmm...)

9.) Hey, Jay. What about ABC? "Reports I was going to go to ABC? That was started by a disgruntled employee - ME."

10.) Would he have done this in '92 when - believe it or not - the idea was FIRST floated? "No..."

11.) The show will be live to tape - taped three hours before showtime, so from 6 p.m. to 7.

I'm the list guy.

The guy who writes lists because they're much easier to write than stories.

Here are my 10 reasons Jay Leno at 10 is a brilliant idea (followed by the uh-oh reasons ...):

1.) This'll be the default position for millions of viewers who don't wanna watch what's on ABC or CBS; bored with that latest "CSI: Miami?" Switch to NBC!

2.) It'll be live to tape - which'll give this enormous topicality. And Jay - though less than Dave and "SNL" or Stewart - is a vast trove of political topicality.

3.) This'll give the other networks ideas. Hey! "Evening News with Katie Couric" as a half hour doesn't work at 6:30? Give 'er a WHOLE hour at 10, and then radically change the evening news format, with a straight-up newscast, and then something less traditional in the second half hour.

4.) This saves face for Leno. The guy deserves to have his face, including chin, saved - honestly. He's done a great job for this network over the decades, and proved to all naysayers that he could hold the job as "Tonight Show" host.

5.) This could give NBC that essential tent-pole of which I spoke last week. OK, let's call it a mini-tent-pole. These are shows that prop up the rest of the schedule, and draw new viewers to a lineup.

6.) People will get in the habit of tuning in to Leno's monologue at 10, then - if they're thinking about getting up very early, hit the sack. This is a no-pain viewing option, and if you're already a Jay fan, a palatable one. There's not a big commitment here.

7.) It'll save NBC millions - that it can maybe put into other areas like news, or will help stanch layoffs. I know - fat chance, but the possibility does exist.

8.) NBC doesn't lose Jay to ABC. A huge plus for this network because - honestly - Jay-at-ABC would blunt Conan/"Toight" and not do any favors to Dave/"Late Show."

9.) The network gets a Face for the Future - a figurehead much like Carson or Hope who represented and symbolized this network.

10.) NBC can concentrate on building drama franchises on the rest of the schedule, now that they're not spread thin over 10 p.m. This COULD mean better shows from 8 to 9. Could (but not necessarily should.)

Now, seven uh-ohs!

1.) Conan. I don't know about you, but in some sense this feels as if the carpet has just been pulled up from under him.

2.) Talk show fatigue. An obvious problem. How many of these shows can you have on the air?

3.) Cannibalism: Taking big guests at the expense of "Tonight," thus hurting that show's fortunes.

4.) Jay, whilst Jay walking, gets hit by a bus. Seriously, what happens if the guy gets a cold? Good news! Jay has never been sick. Ever.

5.) What happens if no one watches? Ah yes, the "Rosie Live!" issue. But I think something like this will get around 4 million, 4.5 million viewers, or not far from what "Tonight's" doing now. That's not so bad.

6.) Hurts drama development. Maybe this is the single biggest concern. But the fact is, NBC hasn't had ANY success here, so not a great concern at the moment.

7.) This is the clearest sign of the deterioration of prime-time television we've ever seen! Really, it's kind of a throw in the towel move, when you think about it.

Well, it's now "official" - we just don't have all the details. Those will now come at 1 p.m., when Jay will handle the big press conference at the Globe Theater on the Universal lot. That's all for now, folks.

I am told that the official OFFICIAL announcement of this new mega-deal will cross the wires at around 11 a.m. ET.

What "new mega-deal" you ask?

That Jay Leno will host a new 10 p.m. nightly show on NBC. Hopefully, here are some of the questions that will be answered:

- What will the name of this new game-changer be, and will the start date be sometime in the summer?

- Will Jay keep the same splendid band and other production elements? (Speculation on this morning's "Today" was that, as I've reported, he'll keep some stuff and expand into other areas.)

- Will Jay assume other jobs at the Peacock, notably as host of NBC's New Year's shows, on into the future, ad infinitum?

- Will we get some nice and totally believable canned quotes from Conan O'Brien, saying...How "thrilled" he is with this "new arrangement"? Or, how "happy" he is that Jay has upstaged him? Or, that he's "not worried at all about the fact that Jay will have first dibs on major guests, while we'll fight with Ferguson and Kimmel for the leftovers - not worried at all!"?

Just wondering ...

Okay, here's the first vlog from Jimmy Fallon's new "Late Night," which'll roll out on the web, then actual launch day in early March.

Coupla, few, questions:

1.) Why is this so short?

2.) Is that REALLY the greatest band on late night TV?

3.) Tubas - what EVER happened to tubas?

As it turns out, NBC will be able to get the cake and eat it too:

Jay Leno is staying at NBC.

The particulars: Leno, host of "The Tonight Show," will assume a role (presumably a similar one) at a weeknight 10 p.m. show.

Repeat: A five-night a week 10 p.m. show.

An announcement is expected tomorrow.

The Jay-to-Stay deal is certainly a dramatic coup for a network desperately in need of those: NBC has just weathered (barely) a catastrophic fall while a corporate suite putsch last week saw the exit of a top studio exec. At a UBS Global Media conference today, the man in charge - Jeff Zucker - asked (apparently rhetorically), "Can we continue to broadcast 22 hours in primetime? Three of our competitors don't. Can we continue to broadcast seven days a week? One of our competitors doesn't."

He was (of course) referring to Fox and the CW, but for a major full-service network - one whose history stretches back nearly 80 years - to compare itself to the CW would have been unthinkable, if not tantamount to an admission of defeat.

Until recently.

But the impending loss of Leno was considered the straw on the proverbial camel's back. Conan O'Brien assumes the "Tonight" job next year (June 1, or two days after Jay leaves) and Leno was widely expected to leave, probably for ABC - which in turn was expected to dump "Nightline" for a Leno-hosted show. The industry expectation? That Leno would single-handedly kill off TV's second-most profitable franchise ("Today" remains king.) The idea of a Leno-10 p.m. vehicle on NBC has been part of the speculation grind for so long that no one really seemed to believe it any longer.

By staying at NBC, Leno will be a true game-changer. This will mean, in all likelihood, the end of a primetime line-up that has been comprised of dramas, news magazines and reality shows for just about half a century. It will also assume that viewer habits will magically adapt as well - to watch a 10 p.m. show that will probably be not entirely unlike the one they might watch a half hour later, hosted by O'Brien.

Now, of course, the big questions: What WILL this show be about? WILL viewers tune in? And - perhaps the most obvious one of all - what happens when Jay Leno leaves, as one day he of course will?

Meanwhile, a future without Jay at NBC was pretty much unthinkable - for NBC. The idea was in fact floated years ago, when NBC thought of offering David Letterman "Tonight" instead of Jay. Leno fumed and plotted - and famously listened in on a meeting about his fate, per the unforgettable account in Timesman Bill Carter's book on the late night wars. To keep Jay, NBC thought - why not 10 p.m. and Dave at "Tonight?" The idea was ditched, but it never really died.

"NBC couldn't allow Jay to go to another network - most likely ABC - because in their heart of hearts, they assumed that just what happened with Letterman, would happen to them - that the ratings with Conan were not going to be the ratings Jay had - especially if they find themselves in a three network talk show race at 11:30," said one industry observer.

The deal for NBC - at least on paper and months ahead of air - seems very smart indeed. "This is almost free [for NBC]. The hours that they have to program - considering the cost of
a 10 p.m. drama - could cost them minimally $100 million; that's $100 million you don't [now] have to pay in license fees. Then, if you don't have to develop, you're probably going to cut your
development costs. I would say conservatively [the total] would be $150 million. It's not going to
cost them $150 million for Jay."

Another industry executive said, "If Conan does fail miserably, it opens up Jay to come back [at 11:30]. But maybe he kicks but at 10 and doesn't want to come back. But the big discussion is, how will he do at 10? Will it be a late night show at 10? I'd argue it's not a late night show anymore. He'll do the monologue and the Jay Walking, but I'm not sure how much more it can be like ['Tonight.'] Plus, the guests will want to do the earlier show. If I was Conan, I'd be furious."

So, why didn't Leno take this deal months ago, when it was first (as widely believed) offered? In part, says this executive, because of the deteriorating network primetime picture - declining at ABC at 10 p.m., just as its crashed and already burned at NBC. "And knowing the man, I think he was holding out hope that he would still get [back] 'The Tonight Show' and holding out because the ratings [for his show] have been strong while Conan's [on 'Late Night'] have gone down. I'm sure the idea was floated earlier and he didn't accept it."

I love to pass on gossip - good, or bad, or malicious, or inaccurate, or accurate, or unsubstantiated - as much as the next guy, and this seems almost too intriguing to ignore.

It has an air - how does one say? - of authenticity to it. This comes via an LA blogger whose report has just been magnified a million times via Defamer. OK, enough with stringing you along: It claims that T.R.Knight has quit "Grey's Anatomy."

Do I believe this? I dunno. The last time a star staged a big time walkout on a big time show, his name was David Caruso (and he didn't exactly "walk out" but got out of his "NYPD Blue" contract to go to some big screen roles which...well, enough with David.) Point is, when you're getting paid a lotta money, you do not walk out on the show. Knight? He doesn't strike me as a prima donna. But who knows. Here's the report. I'm not vouching for this - just intrigued.

Anyway, to use the bad cliche, stay tuned. I'll get a denial from ABC and post it here tomorrow.

Big shake-up at NBC last week in the wake of gawdawful ratings and horrific programs and sacksack schedules: Angela Bromstad, whom I know to be a very smart programming exec with a long NBC history, is returning to the Peacock to oversee the wreckage at Universal City.

She'll run the whole shebang - a combined studio and network programming operation - and report to Ben Silverman (who miraculously escaped the ax in the latest bloodbath drama to grip NBC...)

Release is below; this is a huge deal, needless to say, but still...I'm worried about NBC...

Continue reading "NBC Shakeup: Bromstad Back" »

...And ahead of schedule.

Jimmy Fallon? Blog? Tonight? Whaaa?

Good questions. You know that a.) He's replacing Conan next year; and b.) Lorne Michaels had the idea of getting him before the audience way ahead of time to...1.) familiarize him with said audience; 2.) So he's not a Complete Unknown next year; 3.) To get him used to this nightly thing.

And now, back to c.) Lorne was going to do this early next year but now he's doing it tonite!

Here's the website, and check back tomorrow for Jimmy's first posting (p.s.: Ignore the Jan. 8 stampdate down in the corner. This is up and running in just a few hours.) These will be video posts, and a forward glance to the new show and host...

Can you believe it? Bear Grylls actually met his match out there in the wild wild north.

Revenge? That's your word. Not mine. Far be it for ME to make light of someone's injury.

But as you may/may not know, Bear was hurt over the weekend. Badly? Sounds like a broken shoulder which to anyone else would be catastrophic, but to Bear a scratch. He is, as you "TDC" fans know, host of "Man vs. Wild." He eats a lot of stuff that you and I would never eat (but then, we're girlymen; he's BEAR). Some people have accused the dude of fakery. Imagine!!!

Honestly though, this guy has done so MUCH in a pretty young life (I think he's in his mid-30s) that it's kinda surprising something worse hasn't happened...

Here's the TDC statement, and a quick refresher clip of the Bear follows...

Bear Grylls was injured on Friday night while on an independent expedition in Antarctica. He was not filming for Discovery Channel, but was taking part in an expedition for Ethanol Ventures to promote the potential of alternative energies such as bioethanol. The expedition was raising money for Global Angels, an international charity that champions the needs of children worldwide and that Bear has supported for the last few years.

While on location, Bear sustained a fall that resulted in a shoulder injury. Bear is currently on route back to the U.K. to get the medical attention he needs. Once he sees a doctor, we will have a better sense of the level of seriousness of his shoulder injury and the recovery time needed to get him back to his full physical activity. Bear has a strong religious faith and a loving family to help speed his recovery. Our thoughts and prayers are with Bear as he makes the long trip back to the U.K.

...like the South, vampires, and Britney Spears - they're back! ("SNL's" line with this skit from Saturday's open.) "SNL": No dummies they. They know how invaluable Obama's embrace of Hillbill is for the show. The classics are back. Meanwhile, check out Fred Armisen's "Joe Cool Obama" from Saturday. One of Armisen's better outings...

(Ah, nothing better than watching "SNL" on Monday morning...who needs live?)

NBC has named David Gregory as moderator of "Meet the Press," just about a half hour before this ayem's edition with Tom Brokaw and Barack Obama.

The appointment is effective immediately.

"I'm honored and deeply humbled as I take on this role," said Gregory in the statement. "I'm
filled with a great sense of purpose as I join a superb team to cover Washington
and the world from a treasured platform in our country. Above all, I want to
make Tim proud."

Tim, of course, is Tim Russert, who died in June.

OK, this is big news, so head on down to the jump for the full presser and I'll update in a bit.

Tom, meanwhile, just gave gracious handoff to Gregory on the air - "it's been a real privilege to be in this chair during this exciting and challenging time" - while Gregory said, "Tim always aid to me as you have - always be respectful but ask the tough question but also ask the smart followup and hold 'em accountable...That's what the program is about...What you've taught me in this role is what Tim has taught me, these are treasured platforms with which you have to pursue a great sense of purpose..."

As you may know, this story broke in the Huffington Post last week, and has been widely reported since. Gregory becomes the tenth moderator of TV's oldest program (61 years old), but in at least one respect, this is the most notable handoff. For all intents and purpose, this has been the very last on-air regular gig by Brokaw - now, one of the last of the legendary anchors who represented a time of real hegemony by the Big Three.

Gregory? Chief White House correspondent and chief stand-in for Matt Lauer on "Today;" he was there, I believe, as recently as Friday. Obviously, he's a talented, smart guy and was at the top of most lists - but back June NBC didn't want to make some fast switch in the immediate wake of Russert's death. Instead, it did the best thing - got Brokaw in on an interim basis.

I just got off the phone with "Fox News Sunday's" Chris Wallace - who held this job for a year and half in the late '80s:. What are the big challenges to this gig? "One are the hours. There are two aspects to the hours - getting up at 5:50 every Sunday morning and even tougher making yourself get to bed before ten every Saturday night. And secondly, though I don't think this will be a problem for David, wh o's a good, serious journalist, you really have to do your homework. You're talking to people who almost always know more about the subject than y ou do and you have to get up to speed so that when they get on their talking points, you can get them off of them."

And...off the phone with George Stephanopoulos - whom some think stands a good chance of building his "This Week" audience as viewers shop around.

I asked him about that and he said: "He's definitely a good broadcaster and a tough competitor. We hope and expect that the intense interest we've seen in politics and public affairs will continue because of the new administration and the intensity of the challenges they face."

Meanwhile...check out George's top ten list, which he posted on his blog. Amusing...

Ten Things David Gregory Needs to Know

December 07, 2008 10:00 AM
10.) Monday night is the new Saturday
9.) Saturday Night Live is a pretty cool wake-up call
8.) Dennis Kucinich is a biter
7.) You'll never have to anchor another car chase -- ever
6.) No more OJ stories either
5.) Remember to wink at the camera when you say "stimulus package"
4.) Never let Chuck Todd drive you to work
3.) Don't sit Doris Kearns Goodwin next to David Broder. Long story
2.) Rapping with Karl Rove is a guaranteed bump during sweeps
1.) Most important, don't forget we move our clocks back next Sunday.

Seriously, David, you're about to get one of the best jobs in journalism.
Good luck (but not too much).
--George Stephanopoulos

Continue reading "It's Official: David Gregory to "Meet the Press"" »

Should she? (Or shouldn't she?)

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Why, why, why?

Can't you both just get together? Have a nice chat? Get some of that Oprah lovin'? Let a sense of well-being and goodwill flow over the land?

Let the HEALING BEGIN!

And all you have to do, Sarah, is sit down with O.

Anyway, as readers of this blog well know, I'm big on lists. I like lists. They're easy to write. Hopefully easy to read. And I have to bang this out before the weekend. The clock is ticking. Sarah Palin must sit down with Oprah! (Or at least when the show's back in originals!)

Here are my reasons:

1.) Sarah, this is your way to look bigger than O. The queen may have spurned you two months ago - "no, no, no," sayeth she."I don't interview ANY candidates on this show (I just go out and get the one of my choice elected)" - but now you can come on and prove to the world just how small-minded O was in the first place. Revenge isn't best served cold - it's best served on national TV, in front of ten million viewers. (Quick advice: Don't be smug, but smile a great deal AND wear clothes that make you look thinner than Oprah.)

2.) You can prove that all those meanies who said you didn't have a clue after the Katie Couric interview were wrong. You can PROVE that you know all about Supreme Court decisions; you can PROVE that you're smart and well-versed; you can EVEN bring along a map of Africa, and point to all the countries and tell O what the capital of each is (Quick advice: Definitely study the map before coming on the show.)

3.) You can help heal some of the animosity that's still out there. In fact, there's plenty of animosity out there - that recent election didn't do much to disperse it. Sure, well more than half the electorate is happy Obama won. The other half is not happy. This is a chance to speak to them - to tell 'em to get over it, give the new prez a chance, and (by the way) another Republican candidate will be along in '12. (Quick advice: Don't tell 'em it may be you.)

4.) Get pointers on launching your own talk show. Better yet, get O to bankroll your own talk show. These are hard times in TV land. The only one with any money is O. Sell her your idea - but do it in the green room. The audience might be put off if you do it from the couch. (Quick advice: Tell O that your new show WON'T air opposite her's...oh, and promise that you'll actually be eternally grateful for the new show, unlike Dr. Phil. Also, don't jump on the couch. O paid a fortune to get a new one after Cruise destroyed the last one.)

5.) Sell the book! That's right. With the horrific condition the publishing industry is in at the moment, those mega-million advances may well be a thing of the past. But nothing like a little "Oprah" to get publishers in line. (Quick advice: Make sure you actually have a book, and not just a bunch of lists, like "Five Reasons Why I Should Be President," and so on. Lists! They're such a lazy form of writing.)

I'm worried about NBC.

No, seriously. I'm worried about NBC.

One of the great broadcasters. An incredible, rich, varied, extraordinary history. Purveyor of so many shows and personalities that American life and culture would be unrecognizable had NBC never existed at all. It's just an amazing, amazing place.

And yet, sometimes I feel as though it's disappearing before my eyes.

Is NBC the General Motors of the network Television world? I'm not sure I'd go that far - yet - but it is very, very serious. In all the years I've covered this network, this moment feels the lowest. So, I'm worried.

Where to begin? With yesterday's layoffs? Or with next year's Leno-to-Conan transition, which will be devastating? Leno will go elsewhere, and with him, the audience.

Or: This week's winter schedule announcement? It is a schedule I could never have imagined, except in parody. Reality shows (two hours of "Celebrity Apprentice"). Shows that appear incomprehensible ("Kings"). Probable junk ("Howie Do It"). Wheezing geezers ("L&O;," but God bless it anyway). Troubled and declining franchises ("Heroes"). Media-coddled-wide-audience-spurned gems ("30 Rock").

Let's go through all this stuff bullet by bullet, beginning with the good news:

* The good news is that in fact "Office" and "Rock" are doing well, relatively speaking, despite the endless and frankly ill-informed hand wringing. "Office" is one of the top-rated 18-49 shows on all of television, and I believe, even tied with "Two & a Half Hombres." "Rock's" performance is up nearly a rating point from last season in this category. There's growth and actually stability here. So, I think part of the picture is bright. Plus, reality franchises - the GOOD reality franchises - seem fine. "Biggest Loser" is in great shape.

* Monday's woes are woeful: "My Own Worst Enemy" held the 10 p.m. hour by a toenail and is now gone; one of the season's best pilots! Gone (soon.) Just like that. The lesson of "MOWE," or at least the one NBC has learned the hard and costly way? Big ticket high concept dramas don't work. NBC bet the bank on this one, and it has sunk out of sight. A real blow to the future of series television on this network. "Medium" is more of a CBS show than an NBC one - there's no natural audience flow from "Heroes" to this. Meanwhile, "Chuck" - a good show that remains ignored. Will 3-D work? For those who have glasses; everyone else will see a fuzzy screen. But here's to gimmicks, if they work.

* Football soon gone. In a matter of weeks, and then...the cliff. "Sunday Night" has been a vast success for NBC - oh, that football lasted all year. Which it doesn't.

* No tentpoles. The tentpole is is the heart of any network - the one true thing that draws audiences, builds circulation, buys time (for the network to launch other shows), adds prestige, creates advertising windfall, gets Wall Street excited, makes the network part of the culture as opposed to just part of a viewing habit - and speaking of habits, changes those too. But there are none. None on the foreseeable horizon.

* The dimming light of new dramas ...Check out the fact that "Knight Rider" - a gloriously awful show - was the only new hour to get an actual additional order, but now, it looks like even that will disappear by Feb. 25 - forever. From now on, I'm not gonna say one bad word about dear ol' cornball "KR" - better to have at least one actual drama with actors, even a massively moronic one, than none at all. I love you, "KR." I really do.

* The struggle of "L&O;:" Speaking of dramas, why can't one of the great classics of network television - "L&O;" - draw a crowd? I think it got around 6.3 mill a week or so ago. Heartbreaking to see this. At least "SVU" remains a draw.

* No new series of any note on the horizon. In a way, this makes some sense - why throw up expensive stuff opposite "Idol?" But at LEAST you'd expect NBC to give some sort of vocal support to new development. Anything!! But, alas, nothing. Where's "Merlin," "The Listener," "The Philanthropist," or that new Steven Weber comedy? Is this stuff still in the pipeline? Or is NBC so terrified of the future - whatever it may hold - that they've been boxed up and packed away?

* The automotive fiasco.This is a terrifying prospect indeed for the ENTIRE media industry. Why haven't big newspapers like the Wall Street Journal gotten into this story? If GM goes under, there is nothing - nothing - to take its place. For much of the history of television, GM has been one of the great advertisers of network television - so vital and so important that I can't begin to even scratch the surface here. More important than Ford. Vastly more important than Chrysler or any of the imports. Along with Bud, GM has been one of the pillars of sports TV - but NBC has only recently figured out how to actually loop GM into the fabric of the PROGRAMS themselves. ("My Own Worst..."). With GM gone...then what?

* "Kings:" Hey, this could be a great show, and I hope it is. And it has to be good because this will occupy the Thursday 10 p.m. time period. But here's my question. Why does "The Office" get the post"Super Bowl" time slot, but not "Kings?" What's the message here - to showrunners and the audience?

So, I'm worried about this great network. Yeah, I'm worried.

No go, O.

A feud! A feud! Goody, goody. It looks like we've got a brand new feud.

Here's the latest: Oprah was in NYC at the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre last night, where she hosted the 50th anniversary gala. "Extra" caught up with her and here's what the grandee of the daytime tube told 'em:

"I said I would be happy to talk to Sarah Palin when the election was over... I went and tried to talk to Sarah Palin and instead she talked to Greta [Van Susteren]. She talked to Matt [Lauer]. She talked to Larry [King]. But she didn't talk to me. But maybe she'll talk to me now that she has a [multi-million dollar] book deal."

Well, that might be counterproductive for both since "O's" in re-runs now, but...

We all know the genesis of this feud - if that is what we've got here. O refused to have Sarah on the show until after the election. Blah, blah. There was a huge national uproar. The entire election hung in balance. And...then everyone went on their merry way.

But clearly, Sixpack was miffed, as seems evident now.

Meanwhile, does she actually have a "multimillion dollar book deal?" It was certainly rumored three or four weeks ago, but nothing official yet - as far as I can tell.

One of the biggest departures in recent TV history takes place Jan. 15:Gil Grissom is leaving "CSI."

Few details on this, other than this tantalizing line in a recent CBS release: "Grissom makes the stunning announcement that he is leaving the CSI team, on CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION, Thursday, Jan. 15 (9:00-10:01 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network." One of CBS's hard-working public relations pros did indeed confirm to me that this will be Billy's last day.

[BTW, my colleague at the Trib, the incomparable Mo Ryan, tells me that in fact Grissom tells the staff in NEXT WEEK'S episode that he's leaving. That of course is the one with Fishburne.]

So there you have it. He's gone on the 15th. Laurence Fishburne joins the CSI next week...

Idle question: I wonder how he and Lady Heather will get along?

We are surely about to witness a strange, strange January, and as evidence - this from ABC: "Homeland Security USA."

Read this logline for the newbie that arrives Jan. 6 at 8:

"Every day the men and women of the Department of Homeland Security patrol more than 100,000 miles of America’s borders. This territory includes airports, seaports, land borders, international mail centers, the open seas, mountains, deserts and even cyberspace. Now viewers will get an unprecedented look at the work of these men and women while they use the newest technology to safeguard our country and enforce our laws, in “Homeland Security USA,” which debuts with the episode “This is Your Car on Drugs."

I'm informed that it's based on an Aussie hit, and will be produced by Arnold "Big Brother" Shapiro.

No further comment.

Last year's gang...

Good Lord: What is going on over there at the NBC Television Network? We ink stained types just got confirmation of that scoop in TV Week which said that..."Celebrity Apprentice" will run two hours each week. Two hours back to back. That's a lotta "CA."

It launches Sunday March 1 and will air nine to eleven.

Anyway, I just got off the horn with my old friend, Donald Trump - I say "old friend" only because he still actually remembers my first review of "TA," in which I called him "the greatest star in the history of reality TV" and Trumpster remembers his positive press, lemme tell ya - and he tells me that the whole shebang has already been shot, with the exception of the live finale. So it's no extra sweat off of the Trumpian brow. I wondered about "overkill" - the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" syndrome - and DT countered with:

"I sorta like it [the two hours per week]. I like that we were singled out out of all the [NBC] shows. I think it'll work well." Per DT, the boardroom scenes will run during the second hour, and in some instance take up THE ENTIRE second hour.

Which is a lot of boardroom.

Will the entire run of the show next winter/spring run for two hours? Says DT: "They're talking about at least eight weeks and more than half of those will be two hours..."

And so it goes. Please head on down to the jump for the entire NBC winter lineup and press release. I will ruminate on all of this further...tomorrow...

Quickly, the other headlines:

- "The Office" gets the post-SB catbird seat (Feb. 1 at 10:30).

- "Chuck" returns Feb. 2 with a 3-D episode...

Continue reading ""Celebrity Apprentice:" Two Hours! " »

That tried and true gimmick designed to prime viewer interest in series TV - the "sneak peek" - is about to roll over "Lost" (as if "Lost" needs priming...) ABC will release a handful of 5th season "peeks" tomorrow, I am assured, and meanwhile, some high-profile websites like E! Online and Zap2it have trotted out their "exclusive" peeks. But why go there? It's SO hard to type all those letters in...just click on the link below (which we've borrowed from Zap2it - thanks, '2it!) and watch Kate frantically...well, just click...

This can't be good: I am told that CNN has eliminated its science unit, affecting seven staffers. It's not good for many reasons but the network's science unit is one of the best in television and probably has a few dozen Emmys to prove it. Here's a statement from CNN: " We want to integrate environmental, science and technology reporting into the general editorial structure rather than have a stand alone unit. Now that the bulk of our environmental coverage is being offered through the 'Planet in Peril' franchise which is produced by the 'AC360' program, there is no need for a separate unit." Veteran anchor Miles O'Brien is affected in this shift too; TVnewser just reported that he was ousted too. As viewers know, CNN's taken a deep, long interest in science (space-related stuff, it seems to me, in particular) going back to the earliest days, when John Holliman - one of the "Boys of Baghdad" - was the network's space reporter. So this strikes at the culture and history of the place.

I've taken a very quick gander at the CW's winter lineup, just announced, and nothing seems too outta place. Oh, yes - there will be a "repurpose" hour of "90210" but that's not really news.

The Big Thing (TBT): "Reaper" will be back March 17 (a Tuesday) at 9. Meanwhile, a new reality show "13 - Fear is For Real" (think "Survivor"-Meets-"Blair Witch") will launch Jan. 7.

( "Thirteen people compete to “stay alive” as they face their deepest fears in an all-out elimination competition and scare-fest. Pitted against each other in situations straight from the horror movies, the 13 will face shocking surprises, psychological scares and lots of “beware of the dark” moments...")

Head on down to the jump for the full schedule...

Continue reading ""Reaper" Back Next March" »

Hold everything, people. We have a Lee Majors sighting for you.

The uber-cool star of "The Six Million Dollar Man" and "The Fall Guy" (not to mention super-meta "Family Guy" references) will guest star on the Dec. 21 episode of the CBS drama "Cold Case."

The episode is about the investigation of a 1960 stewardess murder. (Stewardess! Can we even still say that word anymore?). Majors guest stars as a former airline colleague of the victim. Two other colleagues are played by -- are you ready for this -- Adrienne Barbeau ("Maude") and Mariette Hartley ("The Incredible Hulk").

And just to make things even more bizarre, the only songs in the episode will be by Frank Sinatra.

I don't usually watch "Cold Case," but I'll be tuning in for this.

In the meantime, to satisfy your Lee Majors jones (and we know you have one), here's an opening scene from a "Fall Guy" episode.

It's here and it features - as you may be aware - David Cook.

The new season tease, that is. Has a winner ever appeared before in something like this? Don't believe so. Worth a look - and thanks to colleague Corris Little for alerting me to this...

Please head to the jump if you want to see (there's a glitch in the code that kicks on the video the moment you go there...a little annoying...sorry.

Continue reading ""American Idol:" Tease with David Cook" »

"This job is mine, Todd, mine! GET OFF OF MY SET!!!"

Yes, the Times has finally weighed in on the David Gregory-to-"Meet the Press" moderator story - which of course means it must be essentially true because NBC leaks everything, and I do mean everything, to the Times.

(Oh wait, I forgot - there is ONE thing they didn't leak, which is that sensational and doubtless dead-on-accurate story concerning one Gen. Barry McCaffrey, appearing in this Sunday's NYT and which was so utterly humiliating to NBC that I'm convinced it refused to give this big scoop to the paper but instead handed it to Huffpo! Which is the network's way of humiliating the Times in return! And who says this business isn't like the second grade playground?)

Anyway, I have a scoop-within-the-(Huffpo)-scoop. I am told on very good authority that Gregory has negotiated his own deal with NBC, which may be why this deal isn't quite as solid as it should be at this moment. In fact, Gregory even by-passed his own power agent, Richard Leibner, to handle this huge deal, which could pay WELL beyond $3 million per, and maybe even in the $4-5 mill range (an educated guess.)

Leibner, blindsided? It's hard to imagine. I called Leibner this ayem to find out more, and I got the stone-cold "no comment" from his people. Leibner, of course, has handled many of the biggest deals in TV news history - notably Dan Rather's for CBS News.

(Is David angry Richard didn't land him "Today?" I dunno...)

What's so amazing about this? Simply that talent never negotiate their own deals - for a whole host of reasons - and Leibner is one of the best there is. To put this in laymen's terms, what if A-Rod was to negotiate his own deal without Scott Boras? It's inconceivable simply because when huge dollar figures come into the mix, harsh words - to put it mildly - are sometimes exchanged between both parties. It's part of the agent's job to adsorb this blowback - not the talent's.

For all I know, Gregory may be leaning on his attorney to do the dirty...umm, nitty gritty work here. Still, that's why talent have agents-of-record.

I bring all this up tonight simply to say - it ain't over until it's over. And embarrassing things have happened in this biz before. (Oh yeah.) I'm still waiting for the press release...

The Canadians are invading! "Flashpoint's" Back in January...

Honestly, you need a guide to keep track of all the TV program stuff that has come down in, oh, the last five hours or so.

Hence, here's your guide.

Let's get straight to it:

"Primetime:" Let's start with this ABC mag, which will morph yet again into something that woulda caused howls years ago but now will barely raise eyebrows - so degraded has this once fine franchise (that's popped on and off the schedule so many times I've lost count) become. A new January edition entitled "Primetime: What Would You Do?" will actually stage FAKE STUFF, or in the presser's words, it "sets up everyday scenarios and then captures people's reaction...Often people speculate on how they might act in a difficult situation, but this series looks at how they actually do in the face of everyday dilemmas that test their character and values."
I dunno. This one makes me queasy.

"Kings" has a trailer that NBC has just posted, and you can go here to watch, or head on down south to the jump...where 'Zone has posted. (A Target ad accompanies, so beware cookies..) Does "Kings" - with the incomparable Ian McShane - have an airdate yet? Not sure but per reports, could get the post-"Super Bowl" catbird seat for launch. We'll see.

"Flashpoint's" back! On Fridays, Jan. 9 at 9. I liked this writers'-strike-inspired-Canadian-import when it arrived last summer on CBS, and then got kinda sick of its extremely violent and twisted storylines. What's happened to our neighbors to the north? Have they learned how to make American TV!!?

"Harper's Island" has a start-date. The CBS mid-season show (with the best and yet most incomprehensible trailer) will air as an "event" starting Thursday April 9 (at 10) and end July 2. "HI" is set on some island in Puget Sound, and it's not exactly an island you wanna hang with. Show starts with a wedding and then, murder. Someone is dispatched week, by week by week, until...Someone finally calls the cops. Just kidding, but honestly. Why don't they just LEAVE?

Ashton Kutcher is back! What is it with this guy? A game show factory must be churning in his brain at all times. And as proof, his new show, for CBS,"Game Show in My Head," will launch Jan. 3 on (get this) a Saturday. Saturdays, of course, have been the dead zone on network TV for a few years now, so this is a notable launch. Show's kinda like a "Candid Camera," in which people perform amazing tasks before "unsuspecting" people to win 50 Large. (I know no more.) Joe Rogan hosts. Kutcher cashes the checks from CBS.

"Eleventh Hour" just got an order for five more episodes, per Marc Berman of Mediaweek. This'll bring the show up to 18 and carry it through January, at least. Still...one wonders. Has it really held on to the "CSI" lead-in? Show averages only around 11 million viewers, which is a seven million plunge off of the "CSI" cliff.

"Cupid" finally lands in March. You remember "Cupid," right TV fans? It's the Bobby Cannavale dramedy produced by "V Mars" Rob Thomas, and it's about this Roman God, who's sent down to earth and has to get 100 couples together before he can return to Mt. Olympus. I know. I know. It sounds ghastly. But maybe it's not. Anyway, airdate is March 24, at 10 (a Tuesday.)

"Castle," with the fab Nathan Fillion as a novelist who suddenly finds that a serial murderer is copying the murders in his books. That'll go Mondays March 9 at 10...Also, that new Amber Tamblyn cop show got a slot too - "The Unusuals" will go Wednesdays, April 8 at 10.

"Caprica" gets a full series order. Yes! Big big news. This prequel to "Battlestar Gallactica" was supposed to be only a two-hour movie this winter and then maybe, maybe, maybe Sci Fi would decide whether to go to full series. They've decided; it just got a full 20 hour order and will launch next year. Don't yet have an exact date. "BG" fans who want to know more, please head on down to the jump, where I've posted the press release.

"Chicken Soup for the Soul:" And sports fans, this. We've all read the books, and now it's coming to the tube. Dick Clark Productions will do the honors. Not sure how this will be translated to the small screen (and doesn't Oprah already ladle out all the chicken soup we can handle?) And the press release didn't get into details. But it's comin.'

"Caprica:" Now we'll learn how it all began...

Continue reading "Your Guide to Today's TV Show Nuttiness" »

"Yoohoo, Dubya, over here...It's me! Stretch!"

I'll remove that "?" as soon as the press release comes, but it does now appear to be official: NBC News has landed on David Gregory to helm one of the great prestige vehicles in all of television AND one of the oldest.

When NBC names him - I'm guessing by tomorrow, but maybe today - he'll of course replace Tim Russert, who died in June. Tom Brokaw has held the moderator chair on an interim basis and made clear to bosses and everyone else that he wanted to step down after the election.

Yes, Ted Koppel's name came up, too, and he was genuinely interested when his deal with Discovery abruptly ended last week. But there were all sorts of reasons why that wasn't going to happen (headed by $$$.) Gregory's the logical choice and seemed to be almost from the moment of Russert's death although insiders were - logically - reluctant to seem too anxious before (as the bard might say) the funeral meats were hardly cold. That didn't stop an almost unbelievable amount of tab spec, which had people like Keith Olbermann vying for the gig - denied by him - and "insiders" pointing to political analyst Chuck Todd as a reasonable choice, too.

So why Gregory - given that his MSNBC show has zero buzz while Rachel Maddow's (she's also been in the rumor circuit) has endless buzz? That's a good question, and I would advise a quick check of his work via MSNBC.com or Youtube. His reporting style is often cocky - and it has rubbed some NBC colleagues the wrong way (the guy's bedside manners are reputed to be appalling, and have been reputed to be so for years) - but he's an extremely smart and efficient interviewer. But I do think his "likability quotient" - a phrase I just made up! - is so low that it gave NBC some pause.

Meanwhile, I do wish someone would point out that Tim's MSNBC show didn't exactly burn up the ratings either. Far from it - even though his "Meet the Press" was the top-rated Sunday ayem talk show for many years, and top-rated by a considerable margin.

I guess someone just did point it out.

Plus, why take Maddow out of MSNBC? MSNBC isn't some sort of farm team; it's worked desperately for years to get traction and finally has it with Olbermann/Maddow. If this duo continue to click during the Obama administration, MS's primetime lineup will make far greater profit than "MTP" ever could. (Could Maddow conceivably do both? I suppose - and she'd go INSANE. Working seven days a week, 56 weeks a year, and the "MTM" gig is high stress to begin with.)

Watch Gregory's stuff on "Today" too - he brings a real intelligence to the hard interviews on a show that doesn't always (ahem) require that. I know for a fact that his "people" have been vying to get him nestled into a position where he would ultimately replace Matt Lauer - when Matt decides to leave. The assumption at NBC is widespread that Lauer has no intention of besting his pal Bryant Gumbel's fifteen years in the ayem, so Gregory would have appeared to be a logical successor.

Here's some interesting inside speculation: That Gregory may have finally forced this issue by threatening to walk to "Good Morning America," where he'd end up going AGAINST Matt Lauer. Again, that's speculation, but intriguing nonetheless.

But no more. By the way, Huffpo broke this yesterday, and Politico's Mike Allen has a story up that has the scoop, and says that the decision is a fait accompli.

(I'm surprised, BTW, that NBC News didn't leak this to their usual favored recipient - the New York Times - but I suppose there's some bad blood for the moment over that devastating Sunday piece on Gen. Barry McCaffrey.)

(Photo: Getty Images)

The extraordinary ending on last week's "The Shield" has led some (ok, by some I mean "me") to ponder the ending of great TV shows, and why we - the dedicated if occasionally unbalanced fan - invest so much energy, thought and passion in that last screen shot.

Will the Meaning of Everything then become clear? Will a bolt of lightning, a clap of thunder, accompany a searing insight that says, " oh, so THAT'S what Vic was really all about."

Of course not., The final shot of "The Shield" was perfect because it captured Vic Mackey but also got him off the hook (sort of) for his manifold sins. Imagine: He forsakes immunity for his family, though of course his family had already happily forsaken him.

The ending of "The Sopranos?" It coulda ended with Tony raking leaves.

This interesting clip features David Chase surrounded by show stalwarts (including Edie Falco and Matthew Weiner) talking about an alternate ending - or rather a trick ending that might have been used instead, but otherwise was a red herring. As Chase points out, the rake scene did appear earlier in the finale, and it sparked much debate. Check out this website (The Chase Lounge) which goes into excruciating detail about how Chase foreshadowed Tony's bad end.

What would have been the meaning of the rake? What sort of leaves...? Why couldn't he hire a crew to do it for him...? Would the bear turn up? Would the tree fall on him?

Oh the questions, the questions we'll never have answers to.

Clip appears on the new DVD set ($400), and thanks to TVTattle.com for uncovering.

[Note 2 Reader: In the spirit of Rosie, who over the weekend confirmed that last Wednesday's disastrous "Rosie Live" will never again wash ashore into our living rooms, we offer up this post-analysis, in free verse.]

Do netwrks think when they act?

Or, r they dumb turkeys?

What? 2 Ro the Peacock gives 1 hr? Live?

Oh generous and foolish NBC bossman Silverman, then 2 u, the audience gives the bird, 2.

How bad 4 the aud was "Ro Lv?"

5 mill strong. They lose their food.

Sun kisses their wanton foreheads.

Show tosses their stomachs like skiffs on wild untame waters.

Liza with a Z sings.

Ro with an R croaks.

Hades freezes over.

Pie in face for Conan. Baldwin bombs.

4 it is said: Ye who shall shill, shall also kill.

5 Mill? Oh what a fill.

Of swill.

Gloria Estefan, with an F. A joke - she tells. The audience weeps.

Dancing cupcakes. Fat turkey 4 Rachael Ray, 2.

She dances. Plastic turkey, 2.

4 u shall know bad TV when u shall c it.

No more, Ro. No more.

5 million strong. 5 million sick people.

Silverman, o Silverman, 4 u they give the bird on T'giving.

(Will GE 2?)