The TV Zone

Can you imagine how many people spat out their coffee at TNT and NBC this morning when they went to the website of the Washington Post and checked out this front-page story: "Actor Fred Thompson May Run?”

Written by Post staffer, Michael Shear, the piece that caused a veritable Niagara of spilt/spit caffeine, included this observation: "Election law requires that TV stations give all candidates equal time. Experts said Thompson - like the last movie-star candidate, Ronald Reagan - would probably vanish from the airwaves except in news programing. That would probably mean that he would leave 'Law & Order' and that networks would not air his reruns during the campaign."

Of course, this means that Dick Wolf - who also sprayed coffee all over his very nicely appointed office - will have to recast Arthur Branch on "L&O;" no biggie there: Wolf is a master at recasting (and replacing) actors, but the real problem is re-runs (Thompson has appeared in 109 episodes, per IMDB.) TNT depends on them, and so for that matter does NBC. The minute Fred declares, off they go.

Wait (says you), equal time rules don't apply to cable. Right you are! But check out this observation from Shear's scoop:

"The FCC rules have never been applied to cable stations, though several legal experts said cable stations often abide by an equal time guideline in the hopes of avoiding a legal case that would set a precedent."

Of course, there are other possibilities: NBCU, say, could always edit out those scenes with Thompson/Branch. Those ones with McCoy and Branch always walking down the steps of the courthouse? Photoshop a new and even better head onto Thompson! Those others with (say) Connie Rubirosa? Just make it seem like she's talking to someone, but cut out the frames where Branch appears! Easy.

Yup, that gulping sound heard 'round NBC and TNT is not the sound of gulped coffee...

Thanks, Fred: How many of these were spilled, spat or sprayed at NBC and TNT this morning?

Madone, what a party last night at 30 Rock.

"The Sopranos" wrap party, where perhaps as many as 6,000 "Sopranos" goombares turned up to say goodbye to just the friggin' greatest TV show ever. Yes, that party. Nine episodes to go. We saw the first two at Radio City Music Hall. What a night. What a night. Still recovering.

You weren't there? I was, and where to begin…oh, right, the cast, the cast: About forty of the regulars assembled on stage as "Sopranos" capofamiglia David Chase called their names: One by one they came, walking from one end of the long stage to the next, to a near continuous round of applause and cheers that rose and fell according to audience preference, taste, familiarity – and whoever was nicest to them at the studio's coffee-and-donuts table over the years (The audience, other than some renegades from the press and a few HBO types, was comprised almost entirely of crew, friends and family members - in other words this was a real Sopranos family get-together.)

Just some of the names, in no particular order - James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, Michael Imperioli, Lorraine Bracco, Steve Van Zandt (or "the great Steve Van Zandt," per Chase), Tony Sirico, Robert Iler, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Aida Turturro, Dominic Chianese ("who the writers love cuz he'll say anything..."), Drea de Matteo (big cheer - everyone was glad to see that Ade was still alive), John Ventimiglia, Steve Schirripa, Federico Castellucio (you remember! Furio!), Vincent Pastore, Frank Vincent and many others.

Per my memory, just about everyone who was anyone turned up on stage last night, though there was at least one very surprising no-show - Joe Gannascoli, "Vito," who was so memorably dispatched by Phil Leotardo (The Great Frank Vincent) earlier this season. Where was Vito? No word from Chase...

Tony - Gandolfini - said a few words, and I do mean a few, for he is a man of sparse verbiage in real life: He stood up there next to Chase and Falco, further hunched those permanently hunched shoulders, coddled the mike, and praised "the blue collar work ethic" of his beloved "crew" (the guys who literally put out the show over the last six seasons) and Chase himself. "He's got courage," per Tony. "Not like Iraq courage" - those fighting in Iraq - "but courage. He didn't care what people thought" but did what he wanted over the last six seasons.

A reference to the nattering naysayers who have found so much to criticize in "The Sopranos" over the last season? No doubt. No doubt.

Falco - she of even briefer verbiage - then stepped to the mike: "I stand by my husband."

Big laugh line.

A couple minutes later, up goes the curtain and Chase spooled a 20-minute tribute to the crew - from hairdressers to grips - with the insistent thump of the baseline from A3's theme song, "Woke Up This Morning" playing over and over in the background. Aside from the first two episodes screened a few minutes later, that was - truly - one of the highlights of the night.

Later onto the party we went – held at that big space at 30 Rock which abuts the Seagrill and ice rink. Booze, food, thousands of my closest friends.

Madone, what a party.

Madone, what a great show.

It's a wrap.

Random thoughts on Monday night’s episode

OK, we’ll give props to the “24” honchos for making a mentally challenged character a hero... and for the writers not squandering their goodwill by having the young man get shot by one of Gridenko’s henchmen.

Gee, Wayne Palmer sure looked chipper after being roused from his medically induced coma. I’ve seen guys come back from two weeks at Club Med looking worse.

Best line of the night: Gridenko to Jack: “I am not martyr. I am soldier.” Boris Badenov sounded more convincing.

Did we really have to see Milo and Nadia suck face? Milo (who is probably not a mole after all, darn it) was also responsible for the second best line of the night: “Maybe this (CTU headquarters) isn’t the best place to start a relationship.”

Will they ever explain just what the heck Doyle did in Denver to piss off so many CTU operatives?

What did you think of the episode? Shoot me a message.

What say you, Katie fans?

Was she too hard, or too soft on Elizabeth Edwards on last night’s “60 Minutes” or did she do her Goldilocks’ best and get it just right? The blogosphere pretty much weighed in immediately and you will notice that the Drudge Report - no Couric groupie - has posted a story that almost doesn't need to be read: "Couric's Cancer Grilling," says the headline.

My read: She got it just right. Of course, tough at points, but appropriately so and hardly disrespectful. A "cancer grilling?" You can make your own determination (here's the Youtube link - http://youtube.com/watch?v=TQYSScsqxqM) and I think you'll probably agree: Just right.

Quickly, let's do a post-interview analysis. Here’s one question that arrived just about three or so minutes in: "Your decision to stay in this race has been analyzed, and quite frankly judged by a lot of people. And - and some say, what you're doing is courageous, others say it's callous. Some say, 'Isn't it wonderful they care for something greater than themselves?' And others say, it's a case of insatiable ambition. You say?"

My read: Appropriate question that absolutely reflects what a few million people were actually asking themselves Friday. Why shouldn't Couric ask it?

Or this question: "Some people watching this would say, 'I would put my family first always, and my job second.' And you're doing the exact opposite. You're putting your work first, and your family second.

My read: Well...Seems like a reasonable observation to me, and by the way, it's Edwards himself who had to address it ("But this is not work. Work is what I did as a lawyer. This is service. This is a country that I love - both of us love.")

Or this question, to Elizabeth: "Even those who may be very empathetic to what you all are facing might question your ability to run the country at the same time you're dealing with a major health crisis in your family."

My read: Again, what's the problem? She might have reasonably added, how can you run a campaign at the same time you're dealing with a major health crisis?

Here's why I'm weighing in on Katie just about 24 hours after her major interview with the Edwards. Because a.) She did a fine and professional job; b.) it's been open season on the woman for longer than I can remember; and c.) She too has dealt with the pain of cancer in her immediate family - sister and husband - and is as emotionally well equipped to handle these sort of questions as anyone well. Nicely done, Katie.

Anyone care to disagree? Now's your chance...

ABC has named David Muir anchor of "World News Saturday" and a co-anchor of "Primetime." Why is this interesting? Well, in part because the "WNS" job was formerly held by Bob Woodruff, and these jobs can be (as Woodruff proved) stepping stones to bigger things. Muir's a relative fast-riser at ABC: Joined as anchor of "World News this Morning" in '03, and has been lead reporter on several major stories, including the Israeli war with Hezbollah.

Whenever Dave Letterman gets sick, it's big news for some reason, but it's even bigger news when he's replaced by Adam Sandler - as happened last night.

And even bigger news, when the whole show is hijacked by an English bulldog - as also happened last night. (See below.)

How was Sandler? Surprisingly good. I'm surprised because a.) don't these gigs require some preparation and a little bit of experience; and b.) Wasn't Sandler pulled in at the very last minute when Dave was sent home by the "Late Show" nurse because he had some sort of flu bug?

Sandler bounced out like this was just the most natural thing in e whole wide world (thank God for a couple dozen years on the stand-up circuit.) The staff wrote him some jokes. They were mostly funny. He joshed with Paul. Mostly amusing too. He brought out pal, Don Cheadle, to talk about their new movie, "Reign Over Me." Good too. And they even sang a duet - ALMOST ENTIRELY IN TUNE - professing their endless love, etc. It all worked. Amazing. I predict Dave will be back tonight. One night of an effective stand-in routine is more than enough, thank you...

Here's a couple of the monologue jokes for those otherwise in a deep sleep:

"Dave's not here tonight...He's suffering from stomach flu. It's a common side effect from Botox injections.

"I think his hair piece fits me pretty good..."

"I usually get the same question [when interviewed on these sorts of shows]:'Are you playing a retarded guy again?'"

"I'm not gonna do topical jokes tonight. I'm not gonna make fun of President Bush. He's a nice guy - told me he watched 'Waterboy' fifty three times.'"

A little later, he brings out his bulldog, Matzoball, for sort of an interview practice run: "So Matzo, how was your flight...?" Wait a beat...and dog turns balefully to the audience. Dave-like, Sandler shakes his pencil at ol' Matzo: "I knew you'd say that..."

Meanwhile, here are the stars from last night...


Does M'Ball get residuals? Free dog food in the green room? Just asking...

Six random thoughts on Monday night’s episode:

So there’s a mole in CTU. Jeez, how many times have we been down that road before (hello Aisha Tyler). Call me dopey, but somehow I don’t think Nadia is really the double agent. I’m betting on Milo.

Speaking of Nadia, I guess the “24” producers are really trying to cut down on the torture. Mike Doyle’s most threatening action toward the alleged double agent was to pull Nadia’s hair. I mean, that’s what Greg Brady did to “torture” his sister Marcia.

Audrey is really dead. I guess the “24” producers thought that “The Nine” was going to be around a lot longer and Kim Raver wouldn't need the work.

Memo to “24’s” producers: Please don’t send Jack off to China to track down Audrey’s alleged killers.

So Karen wants to take President Palmer out of his coma to waylay the veep’s mad plans to nuke an unnamed Middle East nation? Oh, doctor! Even “ER,” in its most desperate sweeps gimmick, wouldn’t stoop that low.

Jack was quite a joystick jockey the way he landed that drone, no? I wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark video-game arcade.

What are your thoughts about the episode? Let us know....

Oh, the horrible horrible thoughts that went through my mind last night as I watched Heather Mills spin across the dance floor. Just horrible. But because this is a blog unbound by the strictures of common sense or good taste, I can now reveal them.

Did she strap on her leg before she hit the floor? Use some sort of prosthetic glue perhaps? And what would have been the crowd reaction had the unthinkable - though really, it was quite thinkable - happened? That is to say, had her leg come off and skittered across the floor, ending up at the feet of some aghast audience member? Or maybe in Len Goodman's lap?

I told you: Horrible.

But I'm quite certain I'm not the only one that had them, including Mills - bless her - who even joked about all this last week in the round of tab shows. All this made about a quarter to ten last night a singular five minutes in the short history of "Dancing with the Stars," or - for that matter - any other hugely popular reality/game/contest show. When she wrapped, there was a palpable sense of relief among the three judges, as if to say - thank God, we got through that one. They each gave her six points; imagine the audience outrage if, say, one had had the temerity to drop her to a five?

But Mills was just fine. Will she win it all? That seems hard to believe - graceful yet chunky Joey Fatone had all the right moves - but let's just wait to see how the audience votes. My hunch: She and dance partner Jonathan "I Am One of the Best Ballroom Dance Teachers In America" Roberts- will score a huge audience vote today, and will next week as well for the the Latin round. Heather will be with us for a while, and after last night, her odds of winning increased sharply if not conclusively.

The crazy kids spun and nearly won. The leg did fine, too.

"Law & Order" is ripping again, and this time we've got a pair of headlines that barely need any introduction, and are just about as "rippable" as anything I can think of. Some clues: Insane astronaut, and recently deceased former Bunny (once married to rich guy, now dead as well.)

You are correct, sir/madame! Lisa Nowak (she needs no intro) will get the "Law & Order" treatment on May 1's episode of "Criminal Intent," with some details changed here and there to protect the innocent and slightly unhinged. Per "L&O;," Tate Donavan ("Good Night and Good Luck") will star as "Commander Luke Nelson, a married astronaut whose affair with a colleague turns sour when she winds up murdered in their hotel...." Well, OK - there are big differences: No one actually got killed in the Nowak affair, but the word "diaper" did assume a whole new meaning.

Meanwhile...in "Bombshell" (Tuesday, May 8) Kristy Swanson stars as someone named "Lorelei Mailer, a former stripper-turned-model and widow of a 90-year-old billionaire whose son mysteriously winds up dead and she meets the same fate days later..."

Where do they get these ideas at "L&O;?!" Just amazing...

"The Sopranos" returns April 8 for the final - really final – nine episodes, which means that oh, right about now a.) the press is speculating how it will all end, and b.) HBO is sending out teases that will lead said press on this merry and utterly fruitless goose chase.

And wouldn't you know? HBO just minutes ago sent out a few tidbits and morsels that are so devoid of nourishment that one just can't help chewing on them over and over. So here goes:

Among the guest stars who will make appearances, there's Geraldo, Nancy Sinatra, Sydney Pollack, Daniel Baldwin, and Frank John Hughes (a good Bronx-born actor - been in a lot of stuff and most recently was in A&E;'s "Kings of South Beach”), Ken Leung, David Margulies, Jonathan LaPaglia (another good vet actor, brother of Tony, who you'd recognize if you saw). And returning: Tim Daly and Julianna Margulies.

The one "huh!!??" out of this list is of course Geraldo. I'll leave it to you to figure out what sort of role he might assume and whether his close-up will be truncated by a bullet or two.

Meanwhile, we move to the plot-points. Here's a direct quote from the HBO press release. (Notice the obfuscation, the utter indecipherability of it all. Just masterful.)

"Having survived a close call with death, Tony Soprano struggles to remind himself that each day is a gift, but challenges new and old make that all but impossible. At home, Carmela plans for a future she's not sure will arrive, while Anthony Jr. and Meadow find that adulthood holds its own surprises. As for his other 'family,' Tony comes to doubt some of his oldest and most trusted allies and makes some hard choices that will shape his own destiny as boss."

I don't know about you, but change a name here or there this little blurb just described MY life perfectly.

Anyway, we’ve got more. Here's the April run-down, followed by my own two cents. Feel free to contribute your own as well.

April 8: "Soprano Home Movies"
"After a close call at home, Tony and Carmela head to the Adirondacks for a weekend with Bobby and Janice."

Read between the lines: A "close call" could mean someone tried to do something that wasn't very nice to Tony, but then "heading to the Adirondacks?" This is a place where one goes to deposit the occasional body, not to admire the scenery. (Or at least the Catskills are.) Bobby and Janice?? Will Bobby bring along his cute little railroad cap?

April 15: "Stage 5"
"Tony finds art imitating life at the "Cleaver" premiere; in prison, Johnny Sack copes with more bad news."

Read between the lines: Oh, this one should be a real keeper. The "Cleaver" movie, you will recall, is the renamed version of Chris's screenplay, "Pork Store Killer," with overtones of Tarantino. You remember - the body parts scattered in various dumps, but they could be rejoined if they were in the same dump. Something to that effect. But "more bad news" for JS?! Let's see - he's got cancer, in jail, cried at his daughter's wedding, on various hit lists. What could be worse?

April 22: "Remember When"
"With the heat turned up in Jersey, Tony and Paulie head south to cool off. Meanwhile, Junior rekindles some of his old fire in a poker game."

Read between the lines: Waitaminute! What's June doing playing Texas Hold 'Em? Is he with other inmates? And why do "Tony and Paulie" head south? Why not Tony and Paulie and Christopha?
Here's another big question: Is Christopha even alive by this point?

April 29: "Chasing It"

"Tony hits an unlucky stretch; AJ makes a life-changing decision; Vito's widow Marie (Elizabeth Bracco) turns to Tony for help with her troubled son."

Reading between the lines: Beats me on this one. Does AJ officially join the family, so to speak? Will Vito return for a flashback?

Oops...wrong show. But great poster. (Thanks to simpsoncrazy.com)

Sure he's rich. Sure, he's famous. Sure, he's...ummmm...rich. But BIGGER THAN BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN?

Oh, sure. Right. Anyway, "60 Minutes" - per its sneaky habit - is leaking bits and pieces from the Sunday profile of SC, and it's pulled this inflammatory quote: “I sell more records than Bruce Springsteen,” Cowell says to Anderson Cooper. “In the last five years, I’ve probably sold over 100 million records. If [Springsteen] got 100 [million dollars from his current contract deal], I should have got 500."

Memo to Sony: Please give Simon more money.

Poor grammar aside, what the hell is Simon talking about? Did AC drug the guy before the interview? And why stop with Springsteen? Go for it, Si. YOU'RE BIGGER THAN THE BEATLES!

In clinical circles, we call this meglomania. It is not a good thing to have.

AC kept boring. How are you worth a hundred mill, pal, snorted the prematurely-white-haired-guy, or something to that effect.

"By doing ‘Idol.’ I signed the biggest artist on the planet and it’s called ‘Idol’ because every single ‘Idol’ winner is now signed through Sony BMG." As you know, friend, Si is an EP of "Idol," part-owner, and tied in with Planet 19 and Fremantle which is also tied in with Sony BMG (which is why Simon always act so nice to Clive Davis whenever he's on the show, which - for my taste - is way too often.)

Anyway, this is far more detail than you want or need. "60 Minutes," by the way, would like you to watch the rest of the interview this Sunday, which is why it declined to give me any more outtakes.

Head gets bigger...and bigger....and bigger...

The home of the $1.99 episode, iTunes is offering some free TV downloads you would actually want.

Play catch-up: Before they returned from winter hiatus, both “Lost” and “Jericho” offered refresher episodes summarizing what happened last fall. Both recap hours are still free for the grabbing.

Preview: Download the pilot of NBC’s new well-reviewed (including by me) comedy “Andy Barker, P.I.” casting Andy Richter as an accountant/detective who sleuths as if auditioning for “Police Squad!” The show premieres Thursday night at 9:30.

[NBC photo by Mitchell Haaseth.]

Now that poker and blackjack have become TV staples, are you ready for bingo on TV?

Well, get ready. ABC announced Wednesday that on May 18 it will be airing “National Bingo Night,” which the network breathlessly describes as a “high-energy, truly interactive game of luck based on the popular American pastime.”

And you thought watching Yolanda Vega pick the Lottery numbers was exciting?

In each of three games, viewers can play along with the studio audience by printing their own Bingo cards from ABC.com. Those who get Bingo can log on to win.

And because this is television and not a bingo game at your grandpa’s Elks Lodge, ABC’s game will be set in a high-tech “Bingo Plex” arena and the numbered balls will be drawn from a giant, two-and-a-half story sphere.

If this is successful, can "Celebrity Bingo" be far behind?

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We don't usually come to "Idol" for humor - except of the singing variety - but last night there was (how best to describe) some barbed shots between Simon and Ryan.

Missed them? Here's a recap for those otherwise engaged. It was the run up to Melinda Doolittle's performance. She was wearing high-heels, which prompted this question from...

Ryan: Simon, any advice on the high heels?

Simon: You should know, Ryan.

(Are we going where we think Simon is going? Yes, we're going where we think Simon is going.)

Ryan: Stay out of my closet.

(Not even a clever response, Ry, and worse, it sets Mr. Meanie up for this slam-dunk)

Simon: Come out.

(Well, that pretty much proves it, right? Did Simon just out Ry in front of 32 million? Yes, he did.)

Ryan: This is about the Top Twelve, and not your wishes.

(Simon laughs; the Ambiguously Ambiguous Exchange comes to an end.)

How, one wonders, did a dozen million parents explain this exchange to their kids? Did they try? At least Melinda wasn't wearing a tight-fitting little leather vest.

I wonder if Ry would like this sporty - yet understated - duo. Or would Simon?

Some random thoughts on Monday’s episode:

Was there any doubt that once we saw her slicing those kiwis, Martha Logan was gonna slice up her ex as well?

And speaking of Martha and her apparently successful plea to her pal, the Russian premier’s wife: So we’re to believe the fate of civilization rests in the hands of a mentally unstable woman who has just killed her husband?

Powers Boothe’s Vice President Noah Daniels is Mad Bad, even if he’s just doing the 21st century version of Cy Tolliver from “Deadwood.” He’s manipulative, creepy and plays a mean game of hardball. He makes Dick Cheney seem like Mother Teresa. But what’dya expect? The guy did play Jim Jones in the TV movie about the mass suicide in Guyana.

I don’t know about you, but I still can’t get my head around the idea of Ricky “Don’t Call Me Rick” Schroder as an action hero... And what "issues" did Mike Doyle have with Milo in Denver?

Has there ever been a TV character as loyal, trustworthy and decent as former Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce? It was good to see Glenn Morshower’s character back last night.

Nice move by Jack to use the dead Russian's belt as a weapon against his captors.

We won’t have President Logan to kick around anymore.

I've received a couple of calls and emails on the presumably cozy relationship between the new chief of "The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric" and the Clinton campaign, and since two calls and emails pretty much signals a trend in my business, it's time to address those. The calls are of the outraged variety: Why haven't I pointed out that Rick Kaplan is friends with Bill Clinton? Do I have an agenda by not
making this observation immediately (as though an accurate lede would have been, "Rick Kaplan, a close personal friend of Bill Clinton, was named executive producer of the 'Evening News...', or "Bill Clinton, the former president, has a friend now running 'The Evening News...'") So here's my answer: I almost never mention that Ted Koppel was once friends with Henry Kissinger (and presumably still is). Or that former ABC News president, Roone Arledge, was a close friend of various Kennedys. I hardly even bother to point out anymore that former CBS News president David Burke once even worked for Ted Kennedy. I almost never get around to the fact that Brit Hume has had a long and friendly relationship with the Bush family, or that Dorrance Smith, who once ran "Nightline," was a family friend too, and even went to work for George I and II.

I also find it kind of odd to point out that Dan Rather is a long-time pal of Donald Rumsfeld's; as Dan might put it, you can check it out and put the Texas star of approval on that fact.

To the best of my knowledge, these friendships didn't, don't and never have compromised their professionalism (although Geraldo and Roone once got in a famous fight over Kennedy, but that's another story from long ago and far away.) Politicians and TV types have relationships - that's a fact usually born of mutual need as opposed to mutual admiration.

And to notice that someone is a friend of Bill - a FOB - also invites derision. Isn't everyone a FOB? The guy collects friends like Nabokov collected butterflies or Audubon birds. Kaplan is one of many who jumped in and out of the Lincoln Bedroom over those years. Does that make them all make Clintonistas?

Here's the broader point, the only point that matters: Kaplan is there to save "Evening News." He's there to add viewers, to reverse the stigma that this is a loser, to burnish Couric's rep, to even get around to reporting major events of the day. He is not there to help Hillary - and if he is, that would be one of the cleverest campaign gambits of recent memory and one destined to fail miserably.

And I’m certain Kaplan realizes one as opposed to two tyrannical bosses is more than enough.

Jeez: He even looks like Bill. Sort of.

NBC is definitely doing right by “30 Rock.”

Hooray!

I was bummed that they had placed the best new comedy of 2006-07 on hiatus starting Thursday in order to run Andy Richter’s new sitcom “Andy Barker, P.I.” Not that I have anything against Conan's former sidekick.

But on Monday, NBC announced that “30 Rock” would return with a “super-sized episode” on April 5. That means I’d only go a mere three weeks without Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Tracy Jordan and Kenneth the NBC Page. Three weeks I can deal with.

But it gets better.

The following Thursday, April 12, the show moves into the coveted 9 p.m. slot — yes, the former home of “Seinfeld” and “Cheers.” And it will remain there until April 26, when, alas “30 Rock” ends its run.

But we’re sure it’ll be back next year, anchoring a Thursday night that — with “The Office,” “Scrubs” and “My Name Is Earl,” has quietly has become the strongest sitcom night on TV since the 1990s.

He was one of the heavyweights of New York television journalism - no kidding - and was a veritable Chuck Scarborough of his day, only bigger. He launched an institution. Warred with TV station management (a fun guy!). And then, poof, was gone.

And now, poof, he's back. Bill Jorgensen will appear on New York television - Ch. 5, natch - for the first time in almost twenty years. It's what might be called one of those once-in-a-lifetime events, so please check it out this Wednesday night at 10. Unfortunately, the piece is taped, but that'll have to do. Living deep in the Great Smokies of North Carolina and in Florida, Bill is 79 and ailing (slightly.) He couldn't get to Ch. 5, so Ch. 5 went to him. I caught up with Bill on the phone this morning, and here's (an edited version of) what he had to say:

"I'm 79, 80 this summer, and my wife, Barbara is a retired psychotherapist, which is a good thing...Barbara bought an abandoned chalet about twelve years ago. It's a work in progress, do it for another ten years. I drive a sixteen-year-old pickup truck..have fruit trees, veggies, I plan to have a little secret orchard later this summer. It's kind of a wild place [where he lives] just south of the Smokies or in the Smokies, and if you want the mail, the mail box is a half mile down the private road. The closest neighbor is a bear hunter. I've been a conservationist and tree hugger all my life, and have to tolerate the Bible thumping that goes on here [but] we've got a great library..."

There was more, much more, but the bottom line - he's doing fine and rumors of his earthly departure are much exaggerated. The basics on Jorgy: He was the founding anchor of WNYW's (then WNEW's) 10 p.m. news broadcast in 1967 though later jumped to WPIX/11 where he spent his last four years in town before retirement in '79. He was a colorful guy - no kidding - whose sign-off, once heard, was never forgotten ("I'm Bill Jorgensen, thanking you for your time this time until next time.")

Here's what I wrote about him a few years ago in Newsday: "Jorgensen had it written into his contract that he was the only one who could use a TelePrompTer, and this meant that when he was debriefing a reporter on set, the reporter would have to constantly look at his notes. By contract, Jorgenson would always look steadily into the camera, projecting an air of power and confidence. He warred bitterly with station management, including Ted Kavanau, then news director, who says Jorgensen "was a difficult guy, very moody, hardly talked to anybody, but when you turned on that camera, he performed brilliantly. He had a voice that was like fate reaching out to you."

Ch. 5 will take a look at the 40th anniversary all week; tonight includes interviews with some founding producers - legendary names in their own rights - including Kavanau, John Corporon, and Victor Neufeld.

Here's an old shot of Jorgensen from his Cleveland days, pulled from Clevelandmemory.org.

It must be March - the Ides and all that sort of thing - but this is not a good time to be a producer of an evening news show. Last night, Katie Couric's producer was dumped, which is just about three days, per my count, after the producer of the "Nightly News" was shown the door. That leaves the producer of "World News" badly exposed, but because his broadcast is firmly in first place, I think he'll be OK for the foreseeable future.

What's going on? Rome Hartman was told after last night's edition of "Evening News" that his services would no longer be required. The website, TVNewser, which first broke the news, followed a little later by the Associated Press, added that he'll be replaced by Rick Kaplan, onetime president of CNN/US and MSNBC and - here's the more telling detail - Diane Sawyer's longtime producer. In the Alice-in-Wonderland world of network news, Sawyer's stock has recently soared past Couric's in light of prestige-boosting trips to Syria and other points east. Couric, coincidentally, is being subjected to a higher-than-normal round of torture-by-print stories in a variety of places. Slate - which has no print, by the way - has another just this morning.

CBS officially announced the business just before noon, and - for the record - here's the statement from Katie:
“Rick Kaplan is a big personality with big ideas. Though I’ve never worked directly with him, I know Rick is an extraordinarily experienced producer who has exciting plans for our broadcast. I’m thrilled he has decided to come home to CBS News.”

The changes were expected, as we say in the trade. Kaplan's a smart, well-regarded producer who also happens be about seven feet tall and rules staffs with a very loud voice and imperious manner. He probably won't make a lot of friends immediately at "EN," which will be just fine if the ratings move north. If they don't...well, plenty of time to worry about that later.

What will Kaplan do at "EN?" (He once worked there as a top producer during the Cronkite years.) Expect more Katie, Katie, Katie: More Katie interviews, more Katie "live" in the studio with newsmakers (he was the EP of "Primetime Live" back when it was actually a good broadcast), more Katie-on-the-road, more Katie-debriefing-correspondents.

Kaplan's got a well-deserved rep as being one of the least patient people in the solar system - a hot-tempered bull in a china shop - and I'm a relatively certain that not a single tear was shed when he was booted from MSNBC. But consider a couple of points here. He is a very talented, creative guy who knows how to win in the grinding daily battle that is the nightime news race (and did so with Peter Jennings), and he also let Keith Olbermann thrive on his watch. Olbermann will argue, of course, that his success was entirely of his own making, but surely Rick deserves a little credit (don't you think, Keith?)

Meanwhile, some big questions: Is Kaplan a Bill Parcells of the news biz who once knew how to win championships but now only knows how to score top jobs with mediocre teams? (Parcells is now at ESPN so my analogy doesn't really hold up here, but what the heck.)

And in light of Charlie Gibson's success at "World News," conventional wisdom now holds that evening news viewers only want to get their news from avuncular, late-middle-age men of Anglo-Saxon extraction. That may or may not be true (and it probably is, by the way), but Kaplan clearly has an idea about how to get around this impediment.

I wonder what that might be?

© Marc Bryan-Brown
Looking good, Rick! Let's check back in a few months...

Looking good, Katie! Let's check back in a few months...

I actually believe Brian Williams' trip to Baghdad wasn't some cheap stunt to goose ratings and propel the temporarily-second-ranked "Nightly News" past the temporarily-first-ranked "World News."

Seriously.
No kidding.
No cynicism here, implied and otherwise.

By now, drive-by Romenesko readers have picked up Gail Shister's piece today in the Philly Inquirer, in which NBC News chief Steve Capus indignantly responds to her doubtless accurate observation that some industry types - shorthand for public relations officials at ABC and CBS - have sniggered and snorted that Williams got dressed up in his best Dan-Rather-safari-Banana-Republic outfits and headed straight to the Green Zone where he could then bigfoot Richard Engel and move the Nielsen needle northwards.

Noted Capus (indignantly - but I think I already said that): "That is gross, disgusting. I would expect better from people in this industry. We don't put people in harm's way as cheap ratings ploys."

Whether he doth protest too much is for wiser heads to determine, but "gross [and] disgusting" is not sending an anchor to cover the biggest story in the world; "gross and disgusting" are some of the midseason pilots.

In fact, I think Williams' trip probably had more to do with the summary firing of "Nightly" producer John Reiss last week and the appointment of onetime CBS News producer Alexandra Wallace than anything else. Look at this way: Reiss is fired and then Brian heads to Iraq. Is there a connection? Was Reiss standing in the way of Williams' desire to head overseas? Did Reiss want a higher domestic story count than Williams did? And speaking of ratings, there was once a feeling in the news magazine world - and presumably it so remains - that anything to do with Iraq was ratings poison. So one could even argue that a Williams trip to Iraq would do nothing for the numbers - other than depress them.

My sense on all this is that Williams is doing what he should be doing, which is to plant his flag on a story of massive proportions. He should be doing this more frequently and more aggressively, because the more times someone of Williams' stature goes to Iraq - and accords it even greater attention – the more times viewers will have an opportunity to understand the mess we’re in. And the flip side of klieg-light journalism of this sort: They’ll learn conceivable ways we might one day be able extricate ourselves.

By the way, based on Monday's program, Williams' work there has been exemplary (and almost always has been in years' past); he didn't sequester himself in the Green Zone but got on a Black Hawk and flew to Ramadi with a three-star general. He didn't even bigfoot the always-exemplary Engel either who had a fine piece on Sadr City.

My free advice to Brian: Ignore the natterers and keep building your frequent flyer miles.

BW in NO - and he did fine work there, too.

I know you're not supposed to think logically about what happens on "24." But Monday's episode left me with one huge head-scratcher that needs some itchin'.

Namely, where did Jack get that fancy suit and tie he wore when he made his, um, social call on the Russian consul? I've spent several hours pondering and here are my conclusions.

1. CTU has a valet on its premises.

2. Just like another comic book superhero, the Flash, Jack pressed his power ring and out popped his suit ready to wear.

3. He borrowed one from former President Logan. ("I don't trust you, Charles, but I do trust your fashion sense.")

4. CTU gave 1-800 We Dry Clean special dispensation to get through the cordoned-off steets of L.A.

5. Like MacGyver, Jack knows how to stitch together something out of found objects.

It's gotta be one of these reasons, no?

[Above: Kiefer Sutherland as Jack with Gregory Itzin as President Logan, in Fox photo by Kelsey McNeal.]

"Cheers" mailman John Ratzenberger has replaced Vincent Pastore on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" season starting March 19.

More info here.