The TV Zone

The last time I spoke with Dr. Frank Stanton - and, by the way, it was always DOCTOR Stanton - was about ten years ago. In his late '80s then, he had relocated from New York to Boston, and was ailing from the effects of Lyme Disease, but even then he still exuded the same Stantonesque authority, as if the CBS he had stepped away from (or was pushed away from) a couple decades earlier was still under his absolute rule.

Some people are sometimes appended with the "greatest" label although in many instances such an honor bestowed is stripped after time or more careful scrutiny. That's not likely to happen to Stanton, who died over Christmas at the age of 98: He was the greatest executive in TV history, who presided over what was once the greatest broadcaster in U.S. TV history, and who attended to every single detail that went into the construction of that empire with a loving and ruthless care. CBS would never have been CBS without William Paley (of course) but it would never have become the legendary company it was to become without Stanton. For thirty years, they were the perfect Mr. Outside/Mr. Inside team: Paley with his gregarious charm and vision and salesmanship, and Stanton with his sere and scrupulous attention to the myriad details that made that vision possible.

Books have been written on Stanton (not really a "doctor, but he earned a Ph.D. from some school in Ohio in research) and, in fact, a terrific one was: Sally Bedell Smith's 1990 biography of Paley, "In All His Glory," that was published just before his death and which some believed actually contributed to his demise. It was an amazing defenestration of Paley, revealing so many sordid details that gossip columnists dined on it for months. Many also believed at the time that Stanton was Smith's chief source for the book and that it had served as Stanton's own effort to set the record straight on his role at CBS. He and Paley had a falling out years earlier, setting a pattern in which Paley would jettison executive after executive who either undercut his authority or threatened to outshine his own legend. As such, "In All His Glory" may have been one of the most glorious examples in media history of revenge-served-ice-cold.

The publication of Smith's bio was such a major event in the publishing/TV world that two Newsday writers - myself and Paul Colford, now an esteemed reporter with the Daily News - wrote a Part 2 cover on it.

Herewith I quote the section on Dr. Frank Stanton:

"Frank Stanton ...was the consummate corporate tactician who, like Paley, worked tirelessly to burnish CBS' image and prestige.

Stanton was both Paley's alter-ego and right-hand man: 'a kind of corporate Jeeves, who took care of details, cleaned up messes, and could be counted on always to do the right thing,' [per Bedell Smith.] As such, he became indispensable. The reason is that Paley was frequently nowhere to be found. Bored with the business of CBS, he would travel, or flirt, or socialize. Smith likens Paley to 'Alice's Cheshire Cat . . . [he] was often a shadow presence.' CBS president Stanton ran the show while chairman Paley, for the most part, approvingly watched.

Stanton was named CBS president in January, 1946, and his first order of business was to appoint Paley's girlfriend, Babe Mortimer, to the CBS board of directors. Stanton, who at first resisted becoming president under the mercurial Paley, told Smith that he thought: "Why does this have to happen to me?"

But his job went far beyond handling the whims of Paley. Because the chairman avoided so much of the company's day-to-day business, Stanton was forced into a greater role. He became "Mr. CBS."

For many years, that suited both men. CBS was growing and Paley - an intuitive, instinctive individual with little taste for the crush of corporate details - left everything in Stanton's capable hands.

Instead, it was Stanton who became frustrated. He had mastered the job, and wanted recognition - mostly in the form of a new title, as chief executive officer. Writes Smith, "Paley was in a box . . . he needed Stanton [and] he understood the complexities that eluded [him] . . . But as Paley recognized this dependence, he grew to resent Stanton. He hated to admit being dependent on anyone." By the '60s, Paley had also grown increasingly jealous of his minion.

In an effort to become more involved in the company, Paley began stepping on Stanton's toes. The men squabbled over the new CBS headquarters, and programming, among other matters.

Stanton finally got Paley to agree to give him his new title in 1966. Then at the last minute, Paley relented - a humiliation to Stanton.

Stanton, who loved CBS with as much passion as Paley, would not quit. He remained until 1973, when he retired at the mandatory age of 65, while Paley remained on. Paley went on to "de-Stantonize" CBS - that is, obliterate any lingering traces of his longtime president. Only in later years did the two men have a rapprochement of sorts."

As part of my ongoing and essentially desperate effort to lure readers to this blog, I've hatched an idea that might actually work. I'm calling this The Rosie Watch Never Stops, and will inaugurate today with a look the ongoing "feud" between Donald Trump and Rosie O.

What I hope to achieve here - assuming insanity, abject boredom or real work don't overwhelm me first - is a periodic blog entry on the life and voice of Rosie O'Donnell. I will study her every utterance. I will analyze every facial expression. Some of this will be culled from "The View," some from her blog, some from TMZ (which does a daily Rosie watch by default already), and some from the general atmospheric disturbance she causes in her wake. That should not be construed as a criticism, but as fact, for if you had the vocal resources of a Rosie O'Donnell, you too would disturb the atmosphere. She's a grand lady, who's great copy because she says whatever comes into her mind. What else could I or anyone else possibly ask for?

As I continue The Rosie Watch Never Stops, I will look carefully for the following themes of this bigger-than-life life: What drunk actor is she kissing up to today? Does she have anything unintentionally gross to say about Tom Cruise? Who is she insulting? Who is she sucking up to? Any subtle diss of "good friends" Barbara Walters or Joy Behar?

Today, Trumpster.

I have a theory - two actually - and both are valid. Theory Number One: O'Donnell and Donald Trump are actually close, personal friends who genuinely like each other. Consider that in two weeks time, Trump's "The Apprentice" returns, and what serves a rapidly diminishing enterprise better than controversy? (In fact, the Tara business was predicated on same.)

The second theory - Trumpster's casino business took a big hit yesterday. Ergo, Trumpster is in one very foul mood.

Donald, it's Christmas! Hanukkah too! Lighten up, buddy!

First, Theory Number One: Trump and O'Donnell have fabricated this war of words to boost viewership for both "View" and "The Apprentice." I'm fairly certain Trump and Martha Stewart had a similar arrangement last February when Trump leaked a letter to Newsweek. That also had the anticipated result of boosting attention to season 5 of "Apprentice" which - conveniently - began just two weeks after the Newsweek article came out. Amazing how these things happen, and plenty of time to make the front page of the tabloids and nightly editions of “Extra" and "ET."

Deja vu all over again. We quote here what Trump wrote to Stewart last February (whose own version of "The Apprentice" was essentially DOA by then):

"Dear Martha:

It's about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance - much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records."

Now, here's what Trump said about O'Donnell this morning to E.D. Hill on the Fox News Channel:

“She’s a very unattractive person and the sad part is she failed with her magazine badly, her show was getting very bad ratings, and they basically threw her off. I mean, her show was over, she was doing very poorly, her magazine she got sued on and she folded up like an umbrella. Rosie is a loser.”

“Maybe she’s jealous that Miss USA likes me and doesn’t like her. That could be it, I don’t know. But Rosie is not a good person. You take a look at her, she’s unattractive both outside and inside. This is a very unattractive person.”

Do we detect a Trumpian pattern here - aside from the particularly lame and borderline-delusional invective in both instances? We do: Trump is aiming for tabloid coverage and the tabs will oblige.

Brilliant, Donald. Just brilliant. No wonder you're worth billions and billions and billions and billions...

And here's the second theory: Trumpster became unhinged after Pennyslyvania legislators rejected his bid to build some casinos in Philly. Much Easier to yell at Rosie than at regulators, or at investors who dumped shares of Trump Entertainment Resorts.

In any event, a bad couple of days for the Donald, who needs to speed-dial the Grinch for some advice on how to get a little Christmas spirit.

Good morning, sports fans. So much going on in the world of TV, that I've decided to boil down some extended essays into four brief observations. They are...

Number One: As you peruse the obits of Joe Barbera today, allow me to refocus your attention on one little aspect of this extraordinary career. Barbera, and his production partner, Bill Hanna, were almost single-handedly (Okay, double-handedly) responsible for establishing animated shows in primetime, (which had the effect – unintended at first, and then intended – of drawing millions more kids into the nighttime viewing hours.) An exemplary salesman, Barbera convinced ABC to pick up "The Flintstones" when everyone else on Broadcast Row in NYC thought the idea of a cartoon in primetime idiotic. Idiotic, but amusing: His sales pitches for "The Flintstones" (initially called "The Flagstones") were legion, and crowds of advertisers frequently turned up just to watch the antic and pint-size Barbera act out the various characters, from Fred to Wilma to Barney to Betty. No one would buy the show, however, except lowly ABC, which had nothing to lose and thought an animated show like this might actually attract younger city-dwellers to the network. ABC was right, but before long, kids tuned in as well, making "The Flintstones" one of the great kids’ TV hits in history. "Flintstones" hit the air in '60 and soon, other ABC primetime animated shows followed, including "The Bugs Bunny Show," and "Top Cat." "The Simpsons" - many years later - was directly inspired by ABC's successful gambit. [Above: Cartoon Network photo.]

Meanwhile, a trivia question: What show did "The Flintstones" lead into? You are correct - "77 Sunset Strip," which leads to observation...

Number Two: Viewers of the "Insufferable Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" witnessed what was certainly the finest extended scene - if you want to call it that - in the series short history on Dec. 4 when the show closed with that beautiful and moving bluesy rendition of "Oh Holy Night," performed by outstanding brass ensemble, Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews, Mervin "Kid Merv" Campbell, Kirk Joseph (and a few others.) Anyway..."Insufferable" repeated the episode last night, quite possibly because the scene has emerged as something of an online hit (I believe you can go to NBC.com to download, but don't hold me to this.) So here's my humble pre-Christmas suggestion to "Insufferable Studio 60:" Hire these guys, let them play all the time, and cut out all dialogue. I think we've got a winner...

Number three: Will somebody please let Rosie O'Donnell know that the gig for "The Price is Right" is taken? It's over Rosie! You're stuck with Barbara forever! She told "Extra" yesterday: "See I want ‘The Price is Right,’ but nobody’s offered me ‘The Price is Right.'" She added, there's "a clause in my contract [allowing her to take over Bob Barker’s gig when he retires next June], but they apparently don’t want me…which is sort of sad...because I have visions for ‘The Price is Right.’” Terribly sorry, my dear dear Rosie. They haven't offered you the gig because they've already given it to Dave Price, and dear dear Dave, who has accepted, apparently has no vision at all, best I can tell. Nevertheless, I'm intrigued: what kind of "vision" can anyone possibly have for "Price?" It's real simple. Every now and then you bellow these words - "COME ON DOOOWWWNNN" - or, in the unlikely event that they don't already know, you teach audience members how to play "Plinko" or "Pick a Pair." A vision??!! It's OK. I've recovered from my hysterical laughing fit...

Number Four: Will someone please explain to me what would have happened on Sunday's "Survivor" finale" if there'd been a two-way tie? I'll take any explanation at all. I'm absolutely open to suggestions, ideas, proposals - ANYTHING. I'm reasonably certain Jeff Probst didn't say what the show would have done if someone had actually revealed a deliciously wicked and puckish sense of humor by actually voting for Becky. Instead, Yul squeezed out a 5-4 win over Ossie, whose tearful anti-tribute to his deadbeat father clearly won over no converts. Couldn't someone, anyone, have thought - "well, yeah, it did take Becky about a day to finally start that fire in the tie-breaker challenge, but - hey! - it was fun watching her strike the flint..."
What would Jeff have done? What would Ossie and Yul have done? What would CBS have done...?

I couldn't believe it when I just saw the new Dell commercial..

The spot uses one of the coolest songs in the universe, a shot of fuzzttone wackiness straight out of 1966. And while I don't give a byte about what they're actually pushing I applaud whomever their Madison Avenue brainiacs might be for unearthing this classic.

For they are using "You're Gonna Miss Me" by the 13th Floor Elevators, one of the five greatest garage bands of all time. (The others are the Standells, the Chocolate Watch Band, Long Island's own Vagrants, and the Seeds). The song, one of the highlights of the legendary Nuggets collection, perfectly captures the tentative first co-minglings of punk and psychedelia. (sheesh, I sound like a damn rock critic here).

What it has to do with computers beats the heck out of me. On the other hand, the Elevators were from Texas and Dell is headquartered in Texas. Maybe there's some kind of Lone Star nudge-nudge wink-wink going on.

If this commercial made me refrain from hitting the clicker, I can only imagine the reaction of Roky Erikson, the Elevators' over-the-top lead singer, wherever he may be.

Do you have any favorite garage-band songs from the '60s that you think would sound great in a commercial.?Talk
back to the Boomer Tube here.

Dave Price the next host of "The Price is Right?" Let's just take that little question mark away and make this official: Dave Price will be the next host of "Price is Right." Since Bob Barker announced his retirement from the show on Halloween day - he'll leave the longest-running-daytime-show-in-history next June - there's been speculation that weatherguy Price will be anointed his replacement. CBS has deflected the speculation, calling it premature (or at least to Page Six, which first reported the Price-to-"Price" rumors back in early November.) But I've learned from a source that it's definite. Price will continue to be one of "The Early Show" anchors - no surprise because he just signed a new contract and is considered a key to the morning show's success - but he'll also pre-tape "Price" episodes from Los Angeles. I hear he'll handle "Early" from Monday through Thursday, then fly to the coast for the game show tapings on Friday. The arrangement sounds awkward but is hardly unprecedented: Meredith Vieira missed last week's "Today" hosting duties while she wrapped up her season commitment to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

Holy Crap!

That was my first reaction when I heard that Peter Boyle died today at 71.

That of course was his signature line from his nine years as cranky dad Frank Barone on “Everybody Loves Raymond,” the role for which he’ll be best remembered in a career that spanned more than 40 years.

In fact, Frank may have been the grouchiest character in TV history: Lets recall some of crabby Frank’s most memorable lines:

Marie: Well I think it's sad when people start having surgery to make themselves bigger.
Frank: Marie did it the natural way. Pound cake!

Marie: Frank do you love me?
Frank: You still need reassurance, after 45 years of bondage?

To Ray: You're even dumber than I tell people.

Frank: What kind of an idiot would spend $80 for a canoe ride?
Marie: Some people think a canoe ride can be romantic.
Frank: I take it, you never saw “Deliverance.”

Marie: Ihave my own opinions. I'm not just some trophy wife.
Frank: Trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?

Marie: We haven't had a conversation for 35 years.
Frank: I didn't want to interrupt.

Peter Boyle may be gone, but Frank Barone will live on in reruns, seemingly forever.

Now, to plunge into the debate that is sure to engage the faithful fans of TV's greatest comedy, "The Office:" To product place or not to product place?

On Thursday's hour-long Christmas edition, there are no less than two major product shills - the first for Sandals Resorts and the second for Benihana. The always-reliable/astute media columnist for the Chicago Tribune, Phil Rosenthal, has already thrown a bright light on Thursday's double-pump (and anyone who actually reads this blog entry might want to check it out, via the always reliable/astute tvtattle.com.)

Let me announce upfront, right now, at this minute - "A Benihana Christmas" is a TV classic for the ages. This is one of the best, funniest, sharpest, saddest "Office" episodes in the show's history - a masterpiece. To boil a relatively complex plot down to a couple lines, Michael gets dumped by the girlfriend he planned to take to (guesses?) Sandals, and is left holding a pair of tickets. Meanwhile, an office rivalry erupts between Pam/Karen (allies for this episode) and Angela over a Christmas party, with both factions mounting their own festivities. How does Benihana fit into this? Michael, Jim, Dwight and Andy head to a B's where they get tanked and where Michael/Andy pick up a pair of waitresses.

So good or bad? On principle, I have nothing against this double-shill and if this buys "Office" - which has made a lucrative habit of the practice - a few more seasons because of it, then God speed. Meanwhile, anyone who lives/has lived in a place like Scranton - not terribly unlike thousands of other towns and cities across America, by the by - well knows that chains have sprouted everywhere; from Walmart to Staple's, they are a deep and abiding part of our cultural landscape and sometimes - OK - an annoying and obtrusive blight on it as well. Nonetheless, they are here, and part of our lives, and for a show like "Office" - glorious and enduring pop art in my book - to ignore them would be both dishonest and absurd.

But here's my only gripe, and it's not an entirely insignificant one (even though Benihana's figures in a hilarious plot twist with the two aforementioned waitresses): There is no Benihana's in Scranton! The closest one is in Harrisburg, about a hundred miles south on 81. Fans have come to expect a certain veracity from "Office" - they revel in its details, and minutiae and verite and double/triple entendres that can be picked up on only the second (or third) viewing. In other words, "Office" got a key detail wrong.

It's OK: I've forgiven the show and after you see this episode, so too shall you.

It was a big tube night for me yesterday because “My Cousin Vinny” was on. (See the trailer)

It’s one of those movies I just gotta watch any time it shows up at a decent hour on one of the 5000 movie channels Cablevision graciously offers.

I’ve been obsessed with this movie since I first saw it when it came out in 1992. It’s not really a guilty pleasure because there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

What’s not to love? Let us name five, for starters:

-- Joe Pesci as novice lawyer Vincent LaGuardia Gambini pondering the nature of a grit.

-- Pesci explaining what a “yute” is to the cadaverous. curmudgeonly judge played by Fred Gwynne.

-- Fred Gwynne as the cadaverous, curmudgeonly judge — his best role since Herman Munster. If only he could be as joyful as Herman.

-- Marisa Tomei as Pesci’s fiance Mona Lisa Vito explaining to a stunned courtroom what “positraction” is and her anti-deer hunting diatribe.
-- Tomei’s ‘80s high hair and hot outfits, which grow ever more intriguing. She coulda won her Oscar on the basis on those alone.

Do you have your favorite “Vinny” moments? Post a talk back here.

And BTW, Encore airs “Vinny” again Friday at 10 a.m. and 6 p.m.

Bummer that “The Office” wasn’t on last night as NBC opted to air a two-part “Earl” episode instead.

But I needed to get my Dunder Mifflin fix, so I popped in a DVD of next week’s episode, which the folks at NBC mailed out earlier this week hoping to generate publicity. I know I’m jumping the gun here, but let me say this special one-hour episode may be the funniest “Office” yet.

It’s a one-hour Christmas-themed episode. Now, I know one-hour (well, 43 minutes sans commercials) sitcoms usually suck (except for the Keith Hernandez “Seinfeld” episode back in ‘92) and Yule episodes leave me with the taste of sour eggnog in the mouth.

But this one is a winner in both categories. I won’t divulge too many details save for Michael has a rude shock in his love life and we get to hear stick-in-the-mud Angela singing “The Little Drummer Boy karaoke-style. All this, plus the shameless product placement that this show revels in, this time for Sandals in Jamaica and Benihana.

What has made “The Office” so great this year — its third year — is that the show has pulled off the somewhat difficult trick of adding characters (when Stamford merged with Scranton) who actually enhance the show rather than cluttering it up. Andy (Ed Helms) may be the funniest butt-kisser in TV history since Eddie Haskell, while the extremely hot Karen (Rashida Jones) has deftly upset the show’s most delicate story line, the Jim/Pam tango.

Hey, I’m even gonna watch this episode again — when it airs at 8 p.m. Thursday night.

If you can't wait, check out this promo.

Is that the whiff of desperation coming off the Donald’s well-coiffed head?

Details about the new season of “The Apprentice” were released today by NBC. It’s desperation enough that the show is gonna be set in LA this time (not exactly the Trumpster’s home turf), and reason enough for true-blue New Yorkers to tune out.

But what really grabbed our attention was the “twist” that the winning team will get to spend the night in a “luxurious” mansion (that’s NBC’s description; as opposed to an unfurnished mansion, we’re guessing) while the sad-sack losers will have to camp out in the backyard and use outdoor showers and portable toilets. It’s supposed to motivate the team to do better next week. Sounds to me more like “Survivor: Beverly Hills.”

Was it only three years ago that this was the show everybody was buzzing about?

The fun starts Jan. 7.

As all true-blue “Heroes” viewers — and they’re about 14 million of you out there, myself included — the best new show of the season is on hiatus until Jan. 22.

BUT... on the off-chance that you missed the most recent two episodes, NBC is giving you another chance to catch ‘em this Saturday from 8-10 p.m.

If you’ve seen these episodes already, you can always re-watch (and record it, if necessary) to peruse them for buried clues as to what might occur come January.

And if you’re a newbie who’s heard all the hype, don’t be afraid to jump in right now. You might be a little confused at what it all means, but that feeling will pass quickly and you’ll get hooked on the action. Like that guy in the Men’s Warehouse commercial says, “I guarantee it.”

If you want more, you can always go the nbc website, where the entire season-to-date of "Heroes" is streaming for free.

Holiday sounds fill WFUV/90.7FM's interview show "Words & Music From Studio A," Mondays at 9 p.m. this month:

* Aimee Mann (Dec. 11) performs from and chats about her new CD "One More Drifter in the Snow."

* Bette Midler (Dec. 18) touts "Cool Yule"

* Sarah McLachlan (Dec. 25) offers "Wintersong."

You can also listen online.

Dave, Dave, Dave: Is there anyone more intriguing in the whole wide world of TV than Dave? (Or, should I say, was there?) Not so long ago, TV writers actually went to night school to study David Letterman. Everything he did or said (and his extra-curricular words were dispensed about frequently as asteroids bounce off the Empire State Building) were studied for meaning and intent. What did Dave mean by [fill in a word or joke or grimace]? He employed armies of us - perhaps not gainfully but a paycheck's a paycheck, right? Dave was the oracle and we bowed at his altar until we realized (damn!) that maybe Jon Stewart was probably more interesting. But old habits die hard, and I can't help but ponder the deeper meaning of his new contract, officially sealed this morning and which will keep him tied to CBS until 2010. Money? $30 million is the reported "salary" but - if I'm not mistaken from my studies in Lettermanology - the so-called salary figures have long been misleading because that's the dough CBS actually pays to Worldwide Pants. In other words, it's not a "salary" but a production fee. Don't worry - Dave can still afford his mortgage but I'm not entirely sure Dave's nut is quite this generous.

In fact, something besides remuneration is keeping Letterman tied to the daily grind and I'm now going to give you the benefit of my many years of study:

1.) He still likes it. Well, well, well - that's an easy one. He does. He really does. There's no doubt about this. I actually think he even loves it, breathes it, and absorbs it. Dave is "Late Show" and "Late Show" is Dave and this union is so perfect that....

2.) He would completely disappear if he didn't have the show, and I do mean - COMPLETELY disappear. The Connecticut State Police would have to put out an all-points missing persons bulletin on him. But, they'd never find him because - in fact - he had completely disappeared. Maybe in about twenty years, son Harry would find dear old Dad - slightly bedraggled, with a long gnarly beard, and hair (what's left of it) wildly askew - hitchhiking on some interstate in Montana.

3.) The show's still good. I've always liked to believe that Letterman would have enough sense to know when he's making a complete ass of himself - that he would know, say, when "Late Show" had turned into one extended version of some misbegotten Uma/Oprah joke. Not that I've done a scientific survey on this, but on most nights, "Late Show" still remains one of the genuine joys of the small screen, and so does the host.

4.) Letterman wants to beat Jay at something. So much has been made of this point that I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up, but - being beyond actual embarrassment at this stage of my career - I'm happy to bring it up anyway. 2010 means Dave'll beat Jay by one year because (of course) Jay will have been rudely shoved aside by Conan at that point. There are revisionist theories, by the way: That Jay could actually stay beyond 2009, or go over to ABC, in which case, he'll leapfrog Dave, then Dave'll have to re-up, and so on, ad nauseum, until both are around ninety.

5.) And to my last theory - and thank you for listening: Dave wants to reach twenty years at CBS. That means that the new deal will be followed by yet another deal in a couple of years, in which the CBS press release will read: "We are thrilled to announce...blah blah...that Letterman has re-signed until 2013.” That’ll bring him to 20, or ten less than Johnny, and only then will Dave begin to think that he’s actually accomplished something with his life.

Dave's on vacation this week, but I'm sure that when he returns, he'll call his old buddy - me - and discuss these theories in some detail. I will then dutifully relay the conversation to you.