The TV Zone

Seeing Paul and Ringo on Larry King the other night got me to thinking about the many times I’ve seen the Beatles on TV.

You know the drill: Their first appearance on "Ed Sullivan" in 1964, singing "Hey Jude" on the Smothers Brothers in 1968, the worldwide hookup for "All You Need Is Love" in '67 and so on.

There was one piece of Beatle TV-mania that's been missing, from my overstuffed mind, anyway -- something I havent seen in decades.

I'm talking about "The Beatles" cartoon series.

These were the crudely drawn adventures of the Fab 4 which ran Saturday mornings on ABC from 1965 to 1969. Two Beatles songs were usually performed on each episode. The boys were voiced by Paul Frees, a voiceover wiz perhaps best known for Cold War creep Boris Badenov on "Rocky & Bullwinkle" (John and George) and by Lance Percival (Paul and Ringo).

Everything you ever wanted to know about the show can be found here.

Thanks to the miracle of You tube (natch), I was able to watch a bunch of 'em for the first time since the beginning of the Nixon administration.

For starters, check out this episode in which they sing "I'll Follow the Sun":

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Or this one, which was actually the final episode:

You know what? they’re still pretty tacky, but they are the Beatles, after all.

DO YOU REMEMBER "THE BEATLES" CARTOONS? POST A COMMENT HERE.

Viewers of Wednesday night's "Rescue Me" were no doubt stunned after they saw the final scene in which chief Jerry Reilly (Jack McGee) killed himself.

Turns out McGee ain't too happy either.

In an in-depth interview with writer Matt Seitz for www.TelevisionWithoutPity.com, McGee claims he's been mistreated by executive producer and series star Denis Leary.

Here are some choice exercepts:

“My own true feeling is, I think the wrong character killed himself,”McGee says, referring to Leary's Tommy Gavin. Beyond that, he objects to his treatment by Leary. “I want to walk away from this as clean as possible, but I’m not gonna sugarcoat it.”

McGee says Leary, who declined requests to be interviewed by Television Without Pity, cultivates a public image as a bold, blunt, hands-on actor-writer-producer who loves collaboration, but is actually an insecure, controlling person who hogs the spotlight. (“The promos are all him -- you'd think there was nobody else on the show.”)

McGee says Leary demands deference from costars, ostracizes out those who don't grant it, and avoids taking responsibility for unpleasant creative decisions, preferring to subcontract the delivery of bad news to his fellow executive producers, Peter Tolan and Jim Serpico.

“He's a bully, is what he is,” McGee says. “Bullies most of the time don't have the guts to do things themselves.”

McGee says he isn't surprised that Leary never had a face-to-face discussion with him about the decision to write him out, because “that would take a real man to do that. Denis doesn't know how to do that. His persona would make you think he's straight up, he's honest and he's forthright. But I never got an indication of that..The truth is, if he knocked on my door right now, I'd be able to look him right in the eye. I don't know if he could do that.”

Peter Tolan, writer and co-producer, has a different version of events. “Jack is being disingenuous if he says nobody explained to him what was going on. The difference he's drawing is, apparently he wanted to hear [the bad news] from Denis, when the fact remains that Denis is wearing about eight different hats on the show and doesn't have anything to do with the hiring and firing of actors.”

Asked to justify Reilly's death dramatically, Tolan said it was about violating audience expectations.

What the heck does that mean?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF 'RESCUE ME?' POST A COMMENT HERE

Have things in the pharmaceutical industry gotten this bad? Merck managed to get Top Chef to hold an elimination challenge in honor of its cholesterol-lowering drug Vytorin.

I was puzzled at the wording of last night’s second challenge, "creating a low-cholesterol update of an American family favorite." “Low-cholesterol” is a very ‘80s term: These days, nobody believes that the amount of cholesterol you eat (dietary cholesterol) is directly related to the amount of cholesterol in your blood (serum cholesterol). If you’re trying to lower your cholesterol, you’re better served by cutting back on all saturated fats and boosting your intake of fiber-rich fruits, vegetables and grain.

I became more suspicious when a commercial for Vytorin ran right after the challenge. And my suspicions were confirmed during the end-of-show credits where Merck/Vytorin was listed among the “promotional consideration furnished by” companies. (The Top Chef web page for the episode also has a pop-up ad reading “brought to you by Vytorin.”)

In fact neither the contestants nor the judges seemed to understand much about cholesterol. Casey was heard muttering about avoiding olive oil which, like all vegetable-derived foodstuffs, contains no cholesterol. Hung was under the impression that yogurt is healthier than buttermilk which is a by-product of the butter-making process and is about as low in fat as yogurt. They both contain about the same amount of cholesterol.

But the real scandal is that the judges called Brian onto the carpet solely because he used lobster as the protein in his dish. Lobster, they all acknowledged, is notoriously high in cholesterol. Except that it’s not.

100 grams of lobster (about 3.5 ounces) contains 72 mg of cholesterol. Lean sirloin (as in Micah’s “meatloaf”) contains 83 mg; lean boneless pork loin (Joey) contains 81 mg, and skinless white-meat chicken (Sara M., Hung) contains 85 mg.

If Brian hadn't had immunity, an even greater injustice might have been done.

Low-cholesterol or not, Micah’s dish earned her the boot. Which I regretted because last night’s episode revealed all sorts of tantalizing bits about her: she does push-ups, she recently brought her catering business and daughter to Boca Raton from Italy, she used to live in the Bahamas and she’s originally from South Africa where, shockingly, they don’t have fried chicken. I didn’t think there was a place on earth where they don’t have fried chicken.

Tre hung in background and Hung offended nearly everyone. He incurred Lia’s wrath when he left a defenseless crawfish on the floor during the quick-fire challenge. His reaction to the simplicity of most of his competitors’ seafood dishes was “Yes, simple, but my monkey can do that.” When guest judge Alfred Portale objected to the size of his croutons, Hung declared that Portale, one of the country’s very best chefs, “didn’t get it.”

Let’s hear it for Howie. Despite his sweaty, plodding manner, he wowed the judges with a pork-loin and apple-slaw dish that Padma said “really soared.” “Hitting on all cylinders,” commented Portale. It looked great, tasted great, was even low in fat. Too bad it was far from the lowest in cholesterol. That honor probably went to Joey’s forgettable vegetable lasagna.

Because that was the Most Important Interview (of The Century) last night, we now go to the videotape to pick some of those indelible moments that made us think deep and hard about why we are on this planet, and just who is - for that matter - Larry King. There were so many that it's hard to break this down, but here goes anyway:

Best pre-written flack-vetted lawyered-up soundbite:
"It was very traumatic experience and everything happens for a reason. [It] was a time out from life to find out what's important, to figure out who I am, even though it's really hard, I took that time to get to know myself."

Second best:
"Don't serve the time, let the time serve you

Biggest Fibberoo of the Night:
When Larry asked her whey she wanted to do the interview, she said, "when I heard you asked me to be on the show, I was excited...I consider you an icon..."

Second...
"I will never drink and drive again..."

Third...
"I was treated like any other inmate, no better no worse."

Strangest segue:
Larry - "Did you read the Bible in jail?
PH: "Yes."
Larry: "We have your mugshot."

Best Larry King set-up line : (which he said upon seeing her mugshot)
"I've seen worse."

Yes, you have, Larry. Here's one, for example.

Scariest moment:
Larry (leaning in thoughtfully, expectantly, hopefully): “Were you strip-searched?...Is it as gross as we might think?"

Best Medical discussion:
When Larry tried to push her on why she uses Adderall, she explained it was for her ADD. (By the way, here's the Wiki list of possible side effects - "Aggression, new abnormal thoughts/behaviors, mania, growth suppression, worsening of motion or verbal tics and Tourette’s syndrome." )

Best food discussion:
Her definition of a sandwich, as something with "two pieces of bread..."

Best closing line:
Larry (turning to camera): "Paris Hilton. Tomorrow, Colin Powell."

Remember Crazy ("Insaaane") Eddie? How could you not? The Brooklyn retailer grabbed every available commercial minute on every available channel (or so it seemed) during the '70s and '80s before...he was convicted of an $80 million stock fraud scheme and off to the big house Crazy went. But he's back tonight, on CNBC's monthly "Business Nation," at 10.

Eddie talks (to CNBC contributor, Herb Greenberg) about his many crimes, while cousin and chief financial officer, Sam Antar, says “There was so much money everywhere; in the ceilings, under the mattresses, in the closets. There was so much cash skimmed that we didn’t know where to put it.” Antar also confronts Eddie during the show: "You brought us up to be crooks, Eddie. Everything I became came from you, Eddie. Now I don’t blame myself, but everything I became I learned from you. Don’t try to control the topic of conversation. You’re not a big (expletive) anymore, Eddie. You’re a two bit thug just like I am."

Larry King’s guests last night were a lot more of interest to me than the bimbo grilling that’s scheduled for tonight.

As you may know, the two surviving Beatles, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr (along with the widows of John Lennon and George Harrison) sat down with LK to hype the first anniversary of the Las Vegas’ Fab 4 show, “Love.”

To see a clip from the interview, go here.

Here are some of the highlights:
McCartney and Starr on the influence of The Beatles’ music:
KING: Come on, you changed the world.
MCCARTNEY: We were just kids from Liverpool.
KING: Yes.
MCCARTNEY: And, yes, it is quite amazing, because as time goes on, it kind of becomes more and more of a phenomenon.
KING: It grows.
MCCARTNEY: And the young kids, you know, talk about it like as if it's history, which it is.
STARR: I think the most exciting thing is that, you know, we expect people our age to know the music. But, actually, a lot of the kids know the music. And if anything is left, we have left really good music. And that's the important part, not the mop tops or whatever, you know?

McCartney on the passing of George Harrison:
MCCARTNEY: Yes. We -- we all knew and he knew. But it was great. You know, in all these -- well, in, actually, in John's case -- I was going to say in all these tragedies. In George's case, in that tragedy, there were some good things about it. In John's case there weren't.
But with George, I got to see him...
KING: Oh, you did?
MCCARTNEY: ... A short time before he died. And it was just the best because we just -- we sat like this, if you don't mind. We sat and just stroking hands like this. And this is a guy, you know, I'd known since he was a little kid. And you don't stroke hands with guys like that. You know, it was just beautiful. And we just...
STARR: Not unless you're secure.
MCCARTNEY: We just spent a couple of hours and it was really lovely. It was like a favorite memory of mine.

Paul also deftly parried Larry’s “toughest” question of the night, an inquiry about “how are you doing” — obviously, a veiled reference to Paul and Heather’s unamicable split. “I’m doing surprisingly well,” said Sir Paul. “But I don’t talk about it, and that helps.”

Ye shall know that the world is about to come to an end when the three evening newscasts of CBS, ABC and NBC lead with anything to do with Paris Hilton. That will be the sure sign that American culture - not to mention the TV news business - has become so thoroughly debased that nothing else matters at all. At that point, God will smite us all, probably with a swarm of locusts...

It's for that reason that a recent apology posted on CBS's "Public Eye" was of considerable concern. ("PE" is CBS News' semi-official ombudsman, for all to see...) "I’m not saying the Hilton story shouldn’t be reported at all," wrote CBS's Brian Montopoli, "But should we make it the lead or one of the top stories of a newscast when the U.S. has 156,000 troops at war in Iraq?"

Answer - no. But does this actually mean that "Evening News with KC" actually lead with PH's release yesterday? Not to worry. Nothing of the sort, and best I could tell, the rest of the networks didn't either.

In fact, there's some indication - admittedly very slim indication, and the summer's still young, and Paris is out of jail 24 hours, and there are still plenty of bars for her to hit in the LA Basin, and then there's that Larry King "interview" tonight - that the networks are actually spurning the dear girl.

Imagine: It's summer and the evening newscasts are ignoring cotton candy? Andrew Tyndall, the dean of evening news watchers (and editor of the Tyndall Report) says, "it turns out that the network nightly newscasts have treated Paris Hilton with the contempt she deserves. My vote for the most heavily covered story of the silly season so far is the humpback whales in Sacramento."

Yes, humpies have trumped PH, so far.

Andrew, at my request, went back over the past few summers to give a quick run-own of legendary summer obsessions - stories so wrong, or innocuous, or stupid, or insignificant that you could actually hear the beating of locust wings in the distance.

Here they are:

August 2006: JonBenet Ramsey false murder confession (70 minutes total on three evening newscasts for the month of August alone.)

June 2005: Michael Jackson acquitted (40 minutes).

July 2004: Martha Stewart imprisoned (22 minutes).

July 2003: Kobe Bryant rape charges (20 minutes).

August 2002 Mosquitoes spread West Nile virus (to birds). (28 minutes.)

July 2001 Chandra Levy goes missing (71 minutes...minutes devoted to growing terror threat. Zero...)

August, 2001 Sharks confront humans in coastal waters, 30 minutes)

June, 2000 Elian Gonzalez goes home to Cuba, 44 minutes

Thanks, Andrew. I feel better already.

They're coming! They're coming! No, they're not. Phew.

I can't be entirely clear whether this will start a trend, but a guy can dream (can't he?) MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski boycotted all references to Paris Hilton on this morning's edition of "Morning Joe."

Does Mika deserve a raise?

I think so.

No. I know so.

TVnewser, one of the few places that actually monitors "Morning Joe" at 6 a.m. offers this account of Mika's "I'm Mad-as-Hell-Not-Gonna-Take-Paris-Anymore" revolt:

"'Give her the Paris Hilton story,'" Joe Scarborough joked during the 6am news update. 'No, I will not read that,' she said [Mika's the show’s news anchor], before tearing the script into several pieces.

"'It's an awful story. We shouldn't cover it,' Mika said a couple minutes later.

"In the 7am hour, Mika pretended to light the Paris script on fire. 'This is a bad call to even be covering it,' she said...

"When her producer set Paris as the lead story again at 8am, Mika walked over to a paper shredder and destroyed the script..."

You go, girl. You really really go.

We all need heroes. Here's mine.

Never been a member of a boy band. Never will be. The world - and I - can be thankful for that. But that doesn’t mean I can (and do) have an opinion on Sean “Diddy” Comb's newest edition of “Making the Band.” (MTV at 8.) It's boring. It’s tired. It’s listless. Two editions in (second one tonight), and what are the major concerns of our would-be Dids? Weight. Cheese sandwiches (grilled variety.) Posture. Sometimes it all feels like a workout video. At other times like a confessional. But the fact remains - this "Band" is bland, and even Diddy - on his very rare appearances - seems blasé. He’s pure been-there-done-that.

And of course, he has been there and done that, which may be the problem. Four editions old, this "Band" features the first all-male one, and the guys do seem like good guys - in awe of Diddy and the fact they are HERE and so is HE (sometimes). There's some celeb judges on hand too (New Edition's Michael Bivens, for one) but they don't seem overly-exercised about the whole spectacle either. So if they aren’t, should viewers be?
(USA Today)

Watch or avoid: Granted, "Band" fans - this show takes time to build, while "MTB 3" did well for MTV and its progeny all-girl "Danity Kane." But tough to carve out the time for "MTB 4;" this edition is for true-blue believers only.

Larry King thinks he got the hot interview of the century (top THAT, Anderson) but little does he know that the Paris Hilton interview may be the most challenging of his long career.

How so? Consider. After these three questions - what was it like in jail? Do you really plan to change your image? And what happened with all that business at NBC (and Babs)? - there's not much ground left to cover. A woman of semi-precise diction who tends to express her thoughts monosyllabically (see: "The Simple Life," all editions), Paris should finish those questions off in about 28 seconds.

So Larry needs help. Here are some other suggested questions for when the well, so to speak, runs dry:

- What do YOU make of "The Sopranos" ending?

- Rupert Murdoch and the "WSJ:" Bad idea or good?

- How 'bout those Mets?

- Where would the Yanks be without A-Rod right now? Please discuss.

- Who is your favorite "SponegBob SquarePants" character (and if Patrick, please discuss)?

- I was at a Hilton lately, and they didn't give me enough towels. Thoughts?

- Pick a number between one and ten.

- Watched any good movies lately...oops, sorry, they don't show those in prison (do they?)

- Have you ever watched this show?

- Do you know who I am?

Paris, this is a picture of the guy who will be interviewing you on Wednesday. His name is Larry King. Please keep this picture handy, in case you forget.

Here's the big Paris Hilton news of the moment: She has spurned the major networks (or they, more likely, have spurned her) for a sit-down with Larry King. (Top THAT, Anderson...)

"In her first television interview since her release from jail, Paris Hilton will appear on CNN’s 'Larry King Live' on Wednesday, June 27, at 9 p.m. (ET) for the entire hour."

Anyway, I now know what I'll be doing this Wednesday at 9 p.m.

How the heck did this happen? In the absence of solid information (this was, after all released late Saturday), here's my speculation: a.) The networks, NBC in particular, knew they were being taken to the cleaners; b.) there was no way NBC could justify a huge payout, either financially, logistically or ethically. (Doesn't NBC 2.0 mean, among other things, "cutbacks," while a million bucks for a few minutes with Paris effectively render the whole plan a travesty?) c.) NBC and ABC realized that the "exclusive video" they were negotiating for would probably not be too "exclusive" after all (and doesn't the world have enough "video" of Paris already? Just asking...)

Meanwhile, why Larry? In a word, safety. He'll ask nothing mean, nothing untoward. It's almost like having a pre-arranged interview in advance - the family already knows what the questions will be even if they don't technically know what the questions will be.

The final question, though - what exactly will she say? Does anybody really care? Seriously, does anybody?

Paris to submit to post-big-house interview with this guy.

And now, this: TMZ, the redoubtable and usually accurate gossip webzine, is reporting that the controversial interview with Paris Hilton and NBC News is kaput.

I quote: "Just a short time ago, honchos informed selected staff that the interview is dead. No reason was given. Story developing." Possible reasons? Exorbitant demands by Hilton's reps.. the.$1 million pricetag (and for what? jailhouse musings and babble uttered in Valley patois that's generously seasoned with "like" and "ya know" or "uummmmm")...Babs Walters threatened the entire Hilton clan with bodily harm.

Or maybe the company just saw the light - that interviews like this are the beginning of the end, a travesty, and an insult to every single employee who draws a salary at the network.

All of the above?

"EXPOSÉ: America's Investigative Reports" is one of those rare - shall we say unprecedented - efforts by TV to chronicle the work done by newspapers, or at least by newspapers' dwindling corps of investigative journalists. It's back tonight (Ch. 13, at 10) - though it really already bowed a couple days ago online, as part of a PBS experiment ("initiative's" too strong a word) to get the program "on the air" even before it's on the air. Ah, the new world of television.

Tonight's show features Carl Prine, a Clark-Kentish figure with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review who spent the years in the wake of 9/11 probing chemical plant vulnerability. Prine's a remarkable figure because he not only established how porous chemical plants were but helped initiate legislation to get the plants sealed, so to speak. He later joined the Pennsylvania National Guard and was shipped to Iraq.

Watch or avoid: Most definitely watch. The guy's amazing, and so is his mission, though you may end up wondering - as I did repeatedly - that if the plants are so vulnerable, then why haven't terrorists exploited the weaknesses yet? Also, apparently little has actually been done to prevent attacks on plants, trains, and the like, which forces these unanswered questions, too – is something else wrong, or is Prine’s mission a quixotic one?

So now the high-def wars get interesting.

Cablevision just announced it’s adding the VOOM suite of 15 HD channels previously available only on Dish satellite (and before that on a stand-alone satellite service created as a Cablevision subsidiary). Starting Tuesday (June 26), they’ll be added to Cablevision’s existing lineup of two dozen HD channels, including the broadcast networks, premium movie channels, FSN, MSG, ESPN, Discovery, NatGeo, TNT and Universal. Cablevision says that means it will offer more HD channels than any other provider.

VOOM offerings -- all shot or remastered in HD rather than upconverted -- tend toward niche treats like the Gallery arts channel, WorldSport, Rush extreme sports, Monsters HD horror, Kung Fu HD and GamePlay, plus broader-appeal feeds FilmFest and Family Room.

Meanwhile, DirecTV keeps talking up the full-time high-definition channels it plans to add by the end of the year, most of which are HD versions of current offerings -- CNN, USA, Animal Planet, Cartoon Network, Disney, History, A&E;, TLC, Food Network, HGTV, Bravo, FX, even The Weather Channel. DirecTV is launching two new satellites, and claims it should have 100 channels by fall (including multiple sports feeds).

Cable industry behemoths Comcast and Time Warner have been boasting they’re upping HD capacity, too, though they’re less eager to name channel names.

What’s on VOOM? Details here.

Say what? NBC News is not paying for an interview with Paris Hilton, after all? In the wake of that sensational New York Post article - actually, printed allegation - that's the final outcome? No payment, but (almost certainly) an interview?

[And if you're just tuning in now, check out TMZ.com, which is reporting that NBC has pulled the plug on the interview. But just in case it hasn't, read on...]

Confused? Of course, and a glance at this morning's headlines won't help. All they can tell you is that there was a huge fire yesterday in medialand that NBC managed to douse just in time for the final editions. The NY Post provided the match, claiming that NBC News was to pay a million bucks to Hilton for an interview on "Today" (performed by Meredith Vieira) after her release from jail. ABC News - who knows? Maybe the original leaker? - was infuriated because it thought Babs Walters had her locked up (no pun intended, seriously).

This was all sensational because a.) it was Paris; b.) Babs was angry again, just weeks after the Rosie fiasco, and c.) this involved a news division which is now in the throes of a brutal NBC 2.0 scale-back, which has meant the firing of everyone from Stone Phillips on down. At this rate, the only two employees left at NBC News in a few years will be Brian Williams and Tim Russert - but at least they'll always have Paris. And finally, d.) This promised to be the most revolting instance of checkbook journalism in thirty years, or at least since CBS News paid for Bob Haldeman's memories of the Watergate story back in the early '70s (after which the networks decided that maybe checkbook journalism wasn't such a good idea after all.)

NBC News ducked reporter questions all day, then finally, around 5:15, issued this: "NBC News has not and will not pay for interviews." Why it should take all day to deliver this remains a mystery, but that was it. Fire out. No story.

Again - not quite. Both the LA Times and Washington Post report today that the likely outcome of all this could be one of those fig leaf entertainment deals, in which the celebrity promises an interview to the news division, but gets paid - in effect - by the entertainment division. A sensational example of this form of footsy took place at Fox recently, when Judith Regan managed to justify a huge payment to O.J. for a tell-all book in return for a primetime interview. NBC paid a couple million for the concert that also netted news interviews with a couple heirs to the crown. There are many other examples, and they almost always make the networks look sordid, crummy, sleazy and craven.

A "multimedia" deal will almost certainly happen here too - unless Leslie Moonves (CBS) or Bob Iger (ABC) step up and promise her a primetime series ("It's the Paris Show!" Thursdays at 9, 8 central time) or a Disneyworld attraction ("Paris Hilton Space Mountain").

Why is all this appalling? And why does it make NBC News look so bad, even if news doesn't technically sign the check (which is a mere and irrelevant formality anyway?) Tom Rosenstiel, executive director or the Project for Excellence in Journalism, explains:

"The argument against paying someone for their story is the argument that you're creating an incentive for them to say something that isn't the truth. You're negotiating with them, finally, over what they're going to tell, [or] 'if you're not going to talk about that, we're not going to pay you as much.' You're negotiating over a product and that creates an incentive for people to hype the product. If you say, 'the reason you should talk is you can get your story out' then...your relationship [with the source] is completely different. You're no longer vested in the story being a certain way."

Naturally, there are other reasons why the process is outrageous - and don't forget, we're talking about Paris Hilton here. The money that is ultimately paid to her will be money that NBC News - already depleted - will not use to cover Iraq or a million other stories, large and small, that go by the boards each and every day. It'll diminish NBC News even further, to a point one day when the fig leaves will be dispensed with altogether. It'll be naked news, all the time, metaphorically speaking. Other Paris'-of-the-future interviews will lead "Nightly;" "Extra" (also owned by NBCU) will have additional outtakes. Vieira, if she's still around to stomach this travesty, will post additional footage on the "Today" website; "Dateline" will do a series; the life movie will air in sweeps; a Universal theatrical (which Paris-of-the-future will exec produce) will be released the following summer; while Bravo, Sci Fi, and USA will each air interstitials promoting Paris-of-the-future's new line of cosmetics (underwritten by GE, which will suddenly find itself in the cosmetics business.)

The news division - in other words - will no longer be a "news division" but a division that enables or promotes the profit goals of all the other divisions, while pretending that it's still in the news business, which - of course - it will not be.

And speaking of GE, no wonder it's thinking of dumping NBC. The future looks like hell.

And speaking of NBC's future, this is it...(from askmen.com)

Saw this commercial the other night for the Kia Spectra that brought me way back.

It wasn’t so much the spot’s plot: just a bunch of drivers play “musical cars” in a parking lot, jockeying for one open space. Ho-hum.
It was the music used as background.

After you’ve clicked on the above link, any boomer who grew up in the NY Metro area should instantly recognize that snippet: It's the theme song that Officer Joe Bolton used for his daily “Three Stooges Funhouse” show back in the day on Ch. 11 -- when WPIX was WPIX and not the CW/11.

BTW, the song was called “A Whistler and His Dog.” And it was written in 1905 by Arthur Pryor, a trombonist for John Philip Sousa.

I've waited 45 years to learn that piece of useless information. Gotta give a big shoutout to Kia for sparking my curiosity.

And Officer Joe, we still miss you!

Do you remember Officer Joe? Share your thoughts here.

CBS just started streaming three of its soaps in same-day web offerings. “Guiding Light,” “As the World Turns” and “The Young and the Restless” can now be viewed at CBS’ innertube site after 6 p.m. ET the day of airing. (Click the “All Shows” option, then “Daytime.”) The network says the episodes will stay online free for a week.

Handy to have ’em available anytime -- there’s even the “boss button” used on sports streams to call up cover when the supervisor strolls by -- but it’s hardly the same as watching them on TV. Even on broadband connections, you can see jumpy video, buffering time and other online artifacts. You still get commercials, too. (That’s why they’re free.) But there’s a full-screen option, and you can pause, rewind and fast-forward.

Already posted here: Monday-Wednesday episodes.

[Right: "GL" star Rob Bogue in CBS photo.]

Yes, Vincent Curatola – Johnny “Sack” – does indeed have an opinion on the ending of “The Sopranos,” just like the rest of us mortals. Here was his take, as relayed on “Your World with Neil Cavuto” yesterday:

"I am not a writer. I would have gone in a different direction. I was a little let down by the fact that I -- I understood -- I think, today, I understand why the screen went black...I wanted to -- I wanted to see a little more closure, which is not to say I wanted to see bodies that were bleeding. I wanted a little more closure. I think I would've had Carmela and -- and Tony say something to each other that they have never said to each other all these seasons about how much they -- I would love for her to have said: 'You know what? Come with me. We're going to move to the mountains. We're done with all this, no more SUVs, no more big house. I love you. You love me.'"

Vincent: Gimme closure.

Today, I'm starting this little thing - and I do mean little - called New York Minute reviews, that'll basically take a very quick look at some new series that'd otherwise fly under the radar, including your's. Idea here is to throw a spotlight on something worthwhile, or to flag a beast, so that your precious time (or TiVO capacity) isn't wasted. There are about a million new/returning summer series out there, so without further babble, let's float straight over to...

"Live from Abbey Road" (Sundance, 10). This guy's gotten a little bit of advance attention thanks to the clever name; anything with the words "Abbey Road" attached merits a look, I suppose, and this certainly does too. But don't expect some sort of Beatles tie-in, even if AR Studios are hitting their 75th anniversary (the reason for the series in the first place.) Airing over twelve episodes, "LFAR" is a pure music show,
highlighting three first-rate acts per edition (so be sure to check listings to see if your favorite act is on.) Tonight - John Mayer, Richard Ashcroft, Norah Jones - with Snow Patrol, Shawn Colvin, Iron Maiden (!), Dave Matthews, and Muse showing up in the future.
To watch or not watch: Sure! By all means. Nice production, great acts (and again, pick and choose your faves) but the only Beatles tie-in here is the occasional clip interstitials (and umm, it's taped, not "live." Truth in advertising!) Still, this is Abbey Road, after all, the most holy shrine in rock 'n roll history...

"American Greed: Scams, Scoundrels and Scandals." (CNBC, 10.) Ah, now there's a title to get the blood racing - plus it's alliterative, whatever that means. You're probably sick (and tired) of all big league network investigation-type stories that promise the moon and deliver Paris Hilton. This CNBC series "examines the dark side of the American dream" (Paris Hilton?!) and starts off with a look at a real-life scam artiste named Barry Hunt who rolls innocent (and greedy) by-standers with promises of instant wealth. Instead, he's a master check kiter and Ponzi scheme crook - and a garden variety one at that. What's amazing is his marks' gullibility along with the fact that he's a dead ringer for Ned Beatty (but thankfully is not.) He also looks a lot like John Locke's crooked father in "Lost"... Tonight also has a fascinating story on a Maxwell Parrish art heist in L.A. – how the crooks tripped an alarm over and over until even the cops ignored it.
To watch or not watch: I say yes - give it a try. It tells its stories well, and offers a moral to boot (that which glitters is not necessarily gold, and greed is not, repeat not, good, even if this is CNBC).

In this not entirely flattering shot, Stace looks a little like the bad guy in the first story on tonight's "American Greed;" do not be fooled - Keach only narrates and, as usual, does a fine job as well.

At least we got to see how Sandee does her hair before she was booted out of the kitchen. An opening montage showed her, with blow dryer and round brush, coaxing her locks into their distinctive up-do.

Things started going South for her during the quick-fire challenge when guest judge Norman Van Aken, “the godfather of South Florida cuisine,” pointedly extracted a large floral garnish from the mojito that accompanied her ode to citrus. The elfin Van Aken also implied that she hadn’t sufficiently controlled her overly liquorice-y mint.

Sandee was joined in the bottom three with Sara N. and Micah, but as the contestants started preparing for the elimination challenge, the focus shifted to the other two women who were plagued, respectively, by self-doubt and daughter-sickness. In fact they both made it to the final three, while Sandee bombed.

Her dish, a very restaurant-y affair of vanilla-butter-poached lobster, pancetta-wrapped dates and truffle slaw, made no use of the charcoal-grill’s ability to sear or char or smoke. She used the grill simply as a heat source. Worse, head judge Tom Colicchio likened her dish to “putting lipstick on a pig.”

The judges had to decide, in the words of moral philosopher Tom Colicchio, “what’s the bigger sin: no barbeque or not upscale enough.” (Last week, Colicchio wrestled with a similar issue, “What’s the greater crime,” he mused, “leaving something off the plate… or Clay’s dish.” Clay’s dish was deemed the greater, indeed the greatest, crime.)

Sandee’s exit spared Howie and Joey. Howie once again demonstrated a bad sense of timing, cooking and slicing his pork way too far in advance. Joey fell back on a dish inspired by, and apparently not much elevated beyond, the barbequed chicken of his childhood.

Joey, who’s been mouthing off since Episode 1, made what seemed like a gratuitous dig at Howie when they went before the judges. Even though he admitted that he hadn’t tasted Howie’s dish, when asked who should go home he answered, without hesitation, “Howie.”

When Howie confronted him, Joey defended himself by saying “I’m a very emotional person. My blood flows red. Competition brings out the animal in me.”

Tre was also included in the bottom four, but I got the feeling that the judges just wanted to warn him that he should not rest on his laurels. Meanwhile Hung, who’d received immunity in the quick-fire challenge, was firing on all cylinders. Hung is “almost always at a dead sprint,” commented Lia.

Brian was the star of the episode’s redemption story. Last week he wrestled—manfully, but unsuccessfully, with eels and snakes. This week, he rode that affinity for long, thin shapes to the top. His grilled seafood sausage was acclaimed as the perfect marriage of gourmet and barbecue.

Don Knotts left “The Andy Griffith Show” in 1965 to star in his own short-lived variety show “The Don Knotts Show.” (On the show, it was explained that Barney Fife had gone off to work as a detective in Raleigh, N.C.).

But two years later, in a two-part story arc, originally airing 1/22/67, Barney returned to Mayberry for a visit. You can catch that episode tonight at 7 on TV Land.

On the episode, Barney returns to Mayberry via train. En route, he is reunited with his high school girlfriend Teena Andrews (Diahn Williams), now a movie star. Teena's flack (Chet Stratton) decides to hype his star's past relationship with Barney by staging the premiere of Teena's latest movie in Mayberry. Barney being Barney, he believes that Teena still has a thing for him.

DID YOU KNOW: This episode won Knotts an Emmy for Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Comedy

Here's some James Gandolfini news, if you haven't picked it up already: HBO has announced that he'll anchor a new doc for the network that'll air Sept. 8 called "Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq," in which he interviews troops in Iraq who "narrowly escaped death."

Here's a quick overview from HBO: In a war that has left more than 25,000 wounded, 'Alive Day Memories' looks at a new generation of veterans. For the first time in American history, 90% of the wounded survive their injuries, but a greater percentage of these men and women are returning with amputations, traumatic brain injuries and severe post-traumatic stress."

This morning, let's play the late night "what if" game - as in, what if Jay stays, or Dave goes, or Conan does something entirely different or Jon...yes, what about Jon?

We are entering one of those interesting phases of the moon in late night TV, when contracts conclude, and best-laid-plans come to fruition (maybe.) This happens every so often, and the last time - about fifteen years ago - provided enough drama to employ an army of TV writers for a year and (incidentally) finally got CBS on the late night boards for pretty much the first time in its history. This blog entry courtesy of Monday's Broadcasting & Cable scoop which relayed that NBCU bosses were "wining and dining" Jon Stewart recently...

Here are the key players in our board game, and how they might (or might not) move around:

Jay Leno: Rudely forced out by NBC in 2009 - just two years from now - the single most successful player in late night TV since Carson goes over to CBS or ABC to slay the network that slew him. A Conan vs. Jay scenario? Not out of the question at all - even if he did (for some bizarre reason) sign a non-compete that keeps him out of the fray for a year. In this set-up, Conan - youth/urban appeal - almost certainly gets trumped by Jay - older/suburban/"C&D; County" appeal. NBC looks silly. Jay looks smart. Conan wonders if it was worth all the trouble.

David Letterman: Contract ends in 2010, and inconceivable CBS would force him out at that time. Geatest Late Night Host in History (After Carson and Possibly Steve Allen) will almost certainly decide to sign another contract extension. Unless...he doesn't. What could be the reasons for "retirement?" Fatigue? Age? (He'll be 63)? Moving out at the top of his game - guided, as it were, by the ghost hand of Carson himself? Whatever - all idle speculation. No one knows what Dave will do. No one ever will.
The important question is, what will CBS do? To reiterate, inconceivable CBS would move Dave out, but back in '81, it was inconceivable that Walter Cronkite would be moved out for Dan Rather. (Stuff happens in network TV.) In fact, a bunch of stuff could happen between now and then - Leslie Moonves leaves CBS...CBS stock price tanks...another (younger) option presents itself.

Conan: He's in great shape, presumably. But don't forget the wisdom of Lao-Tzu - just when you think everything is peachy, you are about to sail over the edge of the cliff. Always happens. It's the law.
So what could happen to C? Well, NBC could decide to keep Jay, for one. It's called "cold feet" - as in, sorry, we were too hasty. You stay, Jay. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Conan. Cold? Of course. This is an arctic business, which typically operates at sub-zero temperatures. But why shove out the indisputably brilliant Conan for that reliable long-haul truck driver of late night hosts, Jay? Money - NBC figures it'd be cheaper in the long run to buy out Conan ($40 million) than lose Jay, who could probably hold his numbers through the tumultuous late night landscape for several years to come. In other words, Jay's a sure bet. Conan's not.
What, then, does Conan do? If he's cut lose, that immediately puts pressure on CBS, which has to decide - keep Dave or get Conan? No way Conan's going to 12:30, so 11:30 it is. From an actuarial standpoint, Conan's a better bet than Dave, obviously.
ABC - haven't mentioned them yet! - plays in this game too, because of course Conan-on-the-loose, changes everything - "Nightline's" future and Jimmy K's. Indeed, NBC could decide to keep Jay for the simple reason that if he were to go to ABC/CBS, he'd end up damaging the franchise (Conan and "Tonight") that it's spent more than half a century building. (Fox? Maybe…maybe finally decides to shed its late night curse if Conan becomes available..)

Jon: Finally, the center piece in our board game. Why did NBC "wine and dine" him? Well, wouldn't you, given the opportunity? He's the future - relatively young, supremely talented, and host of a show that refuses to shed a massive and ridiculous amount of goodwill and respect. He's hot, and has been for years.
Does he want to go to a "major network?" He's said "no" before -even if he did once audition for the "Late Night" gig that went to Conan. (But that was sooo many years ago.)
Would he want to go to the 12:30 slot vacated by C? That's called "second fiddle" - a total insult to a guy like this, and I suspect NBC knows it. Besides, 12:30 is for someone in his 30's, maybe even 20s - it's the college crowd time slot. Stewart's got too much cache to settle for that. The only job he'd probably consider is "Tonight" and that's not gonna happen - even in our little board game.

So what's going on? NBC could be covering its bets: If it does keep Jay, then it'll need to fill 12:30, and if it keeps Conan, it'll need to fill 12:30. But what if something really wacky happens: NBC offers to keep Jay at 11:35, and Jay says - to hell with you. I'm outta here, and off he goes to name-a-network. Conan, realizes he's got a knife sticking out of his back, says I'm outta here too. That leaves NBC with...nobody. Stewart's premium soars.

Stewart's contract is up in another year, and if we were playing a reasonable board game here, we'd say he'll resign at Comedy Central (probably for one more year, awaiting Dave's decision.) But we're not playing a reasonable board game here: This is all wild speculation, goofy supposition, nutty spit-balling.

But then, we are talking about TV here - spitballing happens all the time.

Dave moves to Indiana Avenue...Jay stays at Pacific Avenue...Conan goes to jail...Jon lands on free parking...

Do high-art docs have to be stuffy homework assignments, full of talking heads with deep thoughts or breezy pronouncements? Of course not, and for proof check out tonight's "Simon Schama's Power of Art;" it's a gorgeous, visual romp full of (especially full of) breezy pronouncements by Schama, the brilliant history prof at Columbia who also wrote a much-lauded history of Britain that was (also) distilled into a terrific TV series. "Power's" - launching with Van Gogh - a fusion of docudrama with a detailed discussion of the art itself, though the drama part doesn't work quite as well because Andy Serkis's Vincent (Serkis most memorably played, among many roles, Smeagul on "Return of the King") often mumbles or furiously stabs at a canvass - and in one weird scene, even ingests a tube of paint. (Unsettling AND distracting.)
Reason to watch: Schama - a prose poet who slathers on verbs and nouns with all the reckless (and artful) abandon of one of his subjects. Vincent heads to the south of France, where he stages his final ascent to greatness, because "it appealed to a desire for a monkish way of life - Zen with olive oil." It's on Ch. 13 at 9 with Picasso up at 10. Next week Michelangelo, and the whole eight-parter wraps July 30 with an hour on Mark Rothko.

Simon Schama (courtesy TheAge.com.au)

It’s getting more and more difficult to find real old-time TV shows on TV anymore.

Nick at Nite long ago abandoned its boomer-centric menu (“Mr. Ed,” “Car 54,” etal). TV Land, despite claiming to be the home for baby boomers, showed its true colors last month by proudly trumpeting its acquistion of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” reruns. The American Life Network has a terrific lineup (“I Spy,” “Combat,” “UNCLE”) but that channel is rarely available.

So what’s a frustrated boomer to do?

Head to the web. Natch.

As this article points out, the web has become a treasure trove of vintage programs, thanks largely to one old-time TV collecting fanatic named Ira Gallen who has put many of his clips on youtube.com

So now you can invest hours of your valuable time, clicking on clips from the days when Maypo was considered a health food.

I’ll be writing more about these shows individually, but to get you started. dig this clip from “Andy’s Gang,” a show that has special meaning to me, needless to say.

Magic twanger, indeed!

TV for those who remember the ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s — and those who wish they could

If you haven’t seen the 1969 film “Monterey Pop” in awhile (or have never seen it), check out “Monterey 40,” (Saturday at 9 p.m. on VH1 and VH1 Classic), a new “Rock Docs” film chronicling the 40th anniversary of that landmark rock festival. The doc captures the event in all in its counter-culture grooviness.

Unlike Woodstock (two summers later), the June 1967 Monterey Pop festival — which featured bands from San Francisco (Jefferson Airplane, Big Brother & The Holding Company), Los Angeles (The Byrds, Mamas & Papas), England (The Who, The Jimi Hendrix Experience) and elsewhere (Simon & Garfunkel, Ravi Shankar, Otis Redding and Hugh Masekela) — was not the focus of major media attention.

It may have been big news on the West Coast, but I recall seeing no coverage of it any New York-area newspapers at the time nor was it even acknowledged at on WOR-FM, New York’s pioneering FM rock station.

There are too many incredible performances to list here, but check out this one by Janis Joplin and her band Big Brother & the Holding Company.

Warm up for “Monterey 40” with “Hippies” (Friday at 8 p.m., History Channel), a documentary about the folks we once called “flower children.” And if you really can’t get enough, there’s also “American Experience’s” “Summer of Love” rerun late Sunday/early Monday at midnight.

MOVIES
M*A*S*H (Friday, 8 and 11:30 p.m., FMC) — The dark 1970 comedy from Larry Gelbart that inspired the hit TV series. Elliott Gould, Donald Sutherland and Sally Kellerman. Watch an interview with director Robert Altman here.

Reefer Madness (Midnight, late Friday/early Saturday, IFC) — Not made in the ‘60s, but this 1936 movie sure found a willing audience among counterculturalists who hooted at its over-the-top anti-pot message. Don't freak out when you see this.

All the President’s Men (Saturday at 10 p.m., WNET/13) -- Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman “follow the money” and help bring down the Nixon administration. It’s followed at 12:20 a.m. by “Watergate Plus 30: Shadow of History,” with interviews with many key Watergate figures including Redford and Hoffman, I mean Woodward and Bernstein. At this point in time, you may click on the trailer to the 1976 film here.

The Exorcist (late Saturday/early Sunday, 1 a.m., FUSE) — Hey, any chance to see Linda Blair’s head spin again is cool, but what the hell is this movie doing on this music-video channel?

AND CHECK THIS OUT:
Sam Cooke: Legend (Saturday at Noon, WLIW/21) — No-warts portrait of the smooth-voiced singer of “You Send Me,” “Cupid” and many other hits. Sam performs "Blowin' in the Wind" in this rare clip from "Shindig" in 1964, a few months before his death.

Saturday’s the day Fox brings its casting call for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” to New York City.

Auditions for five fall-season kid slots take place starting at 8 a.m. Saturday at Manhattan’s Javits Center, 655 West 34th St. They're open to graduating fourth graders registered for fifth grade this fall.

Here's what auditioners' parents need to do:

Kids should come prepared with a show-and-tell presentation of their choice, lasting 3 minutes or less. Costumes are encouraged (containing no logos, though).

Parents must bring ID for the child, plus completed forms they can find online at fox.com.

That web page also contains further details.

The gang’s all here: Tom, Padma, Gail and 15 Chefs aiming for the Top. But what happened to Kenmore? Tonight, when it was time for the elimination challenge, Padma invited the contestants not into “The Kenmore kitchen” but into the plain-old Top Chef kitchen where a brief close-up revealed that the ovens were GE Monogram.

Maybe someone told her to tone down last season’s incessant sponsor-hawking. During Episode 1, we saw—but did not hear about—contestants cooking with Calphalon pans, struggling with the interlocking lids of Gladware plastic tubs, arriving curbside in shiny new Toyota Rav4s. Evian, another of this year’s sponsors, was nowhere to be seen, but I did notice that when contestants were shown swigging water from plastic bottles, the bottles had been shorn of their labels.

The new crew looks promising, drama-wise if not cooking-wise. Many of them suffer from too-much-information-itis. I’m sorry that Clay’s father took his own life, but I’m glad that CJ’s cancer is in remission (but sorry that he lost a testicle). I’m really sorry about Sandee and Dale’s Mohawks.

Tre and Hung, tonight’s two top scorers, regard one another as the ones to beat. They are probably right. Tonight’s episode, however, belonged to Clay, the self-taught Mississippian who seemed to have wandered over to Bravo from a Tennessee Williams play.

“He was a great chef,” Clay said about his late father. “It got the better of him…He took his own life. It didn’t work out for him but it will for me.”

But things were already looking grim during the quick-fire challenge, when Clay’s amuse bouche took the form of a fruit salad inside a Granny Smith apple. The next day he was searching for okra in the grocery store, and by nightfall he was drinking champagne straight from the bottle.

Guest judge Anthony Bourdain described Clay’s misbegotten scorpion fish-boar chop creation as “home cooking…from a home I wouldn’t want to live in,” something you might get “in economy class on Cambodian Air.”

Exit Clay.

Tonight’s vocabulary lesson

Amuse bouche: a-MOOZ boosh. In French this means “amuse the mouth” and it refers to a little tidbit served, for free, at the very outset of the meal. “The amuse bouche was terrific, but the meal went downhill from there.”

Sous vide: soo veed. From the French “under a vacuum.” A method of cooking where the food, usually meat, is vacuum-packed in plastic and then cooked at a very low temperature. “I would have expected sous-vide chicken from Marcel, but not from Hung.”

Geoduck clam: GOO-y duck clam. A gigantic clam, native to the Pacific Northwest, than can grow to 10 pounds.

“Jericho” fans who’ve been rejoicing over the revival of their once-canceled fave now have another campaign to undertake -- getting new viewers to join them in watching the saga.

CBS announced it will repeat first-season episodes starting Friday, July 6, at 9 p.m. (with the series pilot), and those hours need to be seen before the continuing saga returns with new outings at midseason. Otherwise, how will newcomers know about The Bombs that sent up mushroom clouds and cut off small-town Jericho, Kansas, from the rest of the world? How would they keep straight the strong family relationships, heated rivalries, criminal conspiracies and political mysteries that made this human drama so riveting? [Right: Ashley Scott and Skeet Ulrich in CBS photo.]

On July 13, CBS airs its “Return to Jericho” first-half-season summary hour, followed by the intriguing backstory 12th episode, “The Day Before” (8-10 p.m.). Then the network plans to air episodes 13-22 weekly to bring everybody up to speed. (They’re all streaming online, too, at cbs.com.)

“Big Brother” is also on CBS’ summer slate, back with its eighth edition Thursday, July 5, for what the network is calling “a multi-platform summer.” Translation: The closed-doors reality competition airs this season not only on CBS (Tuesday at 9 p.m., Thursday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 8 p.m.), but also on the ShoToo digital channel in a supposedly uncensored nightly three-hour “Big Brother: After Dark” late-night live feed (midnight-3 a.m., seven days a week). There’ll also be plenty of “Big Brother” content online, including another live 24/7 subscription web feed, with other goodies at CBSmobile.com and cell phone providers. All the details in CBS’ press release here.

Dan "Edward R. Murrow" Rather is now in an official urinating contest with Les "Golden Gut" Moonves. He just told told David Asman on that Fox News show Neil Cavuto usually anchors ("Your World") that Les is screwing up the network news biz and not - I repeat not - Katie Couric. That line about Katie "tarting" up the news? Pshaw! said Dan. I quote in full: "This isn't about Katie Couric. Nothing to do with her gender and anyone who reads what I...said knows that's true." [Insta-translation: Les doesn't know how to read, so he couldn't read what I said.]

But - persisted Asman - "tarted up?" Come on, Dan! You've basically suggested Katie's turned the "CBS Evening News" into a Turkish whore house and all Les did was say you were being "sexist." What's the deal, big guy?

Said Dan: "I was asked my opinion [on that other show over there on that network in the New Jersey swamps]...It does not have to do with gender. [Les] is trying to change the subject..I find it insulting, disappointing, a better word, that Les Moonves would try to mask the real point, the real point was, plenty of women have made it in news...Les Moonves knows that." [Insta-translation: Maybe Les doesn't know that.]

Dan then swung into his standard Edward R.Murrow-spinning-in-grave-speech, how these charlatans have come in and put Paris Hilton on TV, and that they're not covering hard news any more and how...zzzzz

In any event, I woke up after a few seconds and Dan, quoting Bogey, said "we'll always have Paris," and then I think I turned off the TV.

Don't get me wrong - OK, get me wrong - but I like Dan Rather. I know Dan Rather. I think Dan Rather even used to anchor the "CBS Evening News" so maybe he has a valid opinion on this subject. But isn't this the same Dan who forced Walter Cronkite out of CBS? The same Dan who (along with news oracle Van Gordon Sauter) once touted "moments journalism" - tearjerking stuff designed to make millions of bluehairs reach for the hankies? And who presided over "Evening News" when (that other oracle) Larry Tisch fired hundreds of people, many of them hard news veterans?

Love ya Dan, but you did your share of tarting in the "good old days," too.

About 12 million people watched Sunday night's finale of "The Sopranos," reports Television Week here.

That made it the year's most-viewed episode -- yet this season was still the series' lowest-rated in years, said the trade publication.

Sunday night's cut-to-black ending nonetheless stirred "Sopranos" fans enough that the flood of would-be online commenters temporarily crashed HBO's chat boards, where viewers are debating still whether the series' controversial conclusion was brilliant or insulting.

Newsday readers are discussing their reactions by clicking the Comments links below.

CAKEWALK IN TIMES SQUARE:
Stephanie Florio of Sayville won “Bridezillas”e “Take the Cake” Cake-Eating Competition!" Tuesday in Times Square. Fifteen brides-to-be chomped through icing-coating tiered cakes, eating their way to a $25,000 prize towards their upcoming wedding. The stunt hyped WE tv’s series, “Bridezillas”, which returns for season four Sunday night at 9.

Stephanie and fiancé, John Collins, also of Sayville, plan on using the money to splurge on the wedding details, in particular, the reception hall that was once out of their budget. Stephanie says she will just “upgrade” everything, from the flowers to the catering.

B-I-N-G-O OR IS THAT L-I-N-G-O?
Michael Papillo of West Babylon will be one of three contestants on Friday's edition of “National Bingo Night” (9 p.m., ABC/7). He and two others will try their luck for a chance to win shopping sprees, a luxury European cruise and a huge cash jackpot. Meanwhile, viewers can play along to win a trip for two to next season's "Dancing with the Stars," a trip for two to The ESPY Awards, a $50,000 cash jackpot plus thousands of other prizes. Check out abc.com for details.

I'm not in the habit of re-directing readers over to other papers, but if you read anything else on "The Sopranos" non-final-finale today, may I suggest Alan Sepinwall's terrific wrap in the Newark Star-Ledger? Alan - a fine critic under normal circumstances - is something of the Godfather of "Soprano" critics, and a guy who has studied the show as carefully and as thoughtfully as anyone I know. Today he has THE scoop: A prearranged interview with David Chase, that gets into a lot of things (with the exception of the final scene.)

Here's the URL - http://blog.nj.com/alltv/2007/06/david_chase_speaks.html.

Plenty of headlines here, but Chase doesn't debunk the idea of a movie. Under the heading "never say never," here's the entire section of the piece on that subject:

"I don't think about (a movie) much," he says. "I never say never. An idea could pop into my head where I would go, 'Wow, that would make a great movie,' but I doubt it.

"I'm not being coy," he adds. "If something appeared that really made a good 'Sopranos' movie and you could invest in it and everybody else wanted to do it, I would do it. But I think we've kind of said it and done it."

Another problem: over the last season, Chase killed so many key characters. He's toyed with the idea of "going back to a day in 2006 that you didn't see, but then (Tony's children) would be older than they were then and you would know that Tony doesn't get killed. It's got problems."

There's a lot more and no need to spoil - just go and read. But Chase does debunk the theory (one part of which I fell for as well) that all the characters in the diner had grudges against Tony. The theory had plenty of problems, but vacuums tend to suck in all kinds of information indiscriminately. Anyway, forget the theory. Time to make up new ones.

Kudos to Sepinwall on this wrap and his coverage of TV's greatest drama all season.

Newsday readers don't seem so hot to trot about last night's "Sopranos" (non-)wrapup. By noon Monday, almost half the 4,000-plus who'd already voted in our online poll called it TV's worst finale ever.

And nearly as many expect the tale to continue in a feature film.

You can still add your vote here.

Funny thing about endings - they almost always come at the end, of books, movies, poems, symphonies, you-name-it. At their best, they are cathartic. They're also a final bow to meaning, but also to the audience's participation. A recapitulation, of themes, ideas, meaning. And most of all, an emotional release (see: cathartic.) You don't stay to the end of something to not get to the end. And by the way, endings aren't some middle-class bourgeois convention - the stuff of middlebrow writers or musicians or poets. Most artists all seem to recognize that what they've produced is in fact artifice (from whence "art" is derived) and not some true reflection of "life" in all its ambiguities. For them, the end is also the beginning, for it loops back to all that came before, and taps the humanity of the reader or viewer or listener in the process.

That's why the ending of "The Sopranos" was so incredibly disappointing. It was thumb of the nose, a puckish "screw you" to eight millions who deserved better, and who expected to deserve better. Poor ol' David Chase - sitting poolside in the south of France right now, laughing his ass off at the angry patter of a million fans. (Not to mention the blogs!) David, you are an arrogant man - ultimately trapped by the very medium you so haughtily dismissed for so many years, even while you availed yourself of its generous pay scale. At the end of the day, you really had no perspective on Tony. You really didn't know what he "meant," and - by association - what "The Sopranos" meant. You disdained the trite TV ending (and of course "The Godfather III ending) because you refused to be categorized as just another TV hack. But the final clip job was in fact hack work. You had no courage of your convictions, because - in fact - you had no convictions after all. You were afraid to kill Tony, afraid to keep him alive, because you were afraid that either decision would undercut the entire premise of your magnum opus. So you did the next best thing - no decision at all, while laughing at the fans who had the gall to ask for a simple conclusion to this long and often wonderful novel.

How very very disappointing.

Was the ending just another cute reference to "purgatory," with characters in neither Heaven nor Hell (go all the way back to a very early episode, when Chris comes out of a coma, to talk about his brief visit to Hell, when Paulie, in fact, corrects him to say that he was actually in Purgatory.) If so, then Chase has misread the whole meaning of Purgatory, for (in Catholic theology) those who have committed mortal sins are barred entrance.

Silvio's last name - Dante - was always just another cute Chase trick - the nine circles of Hell, and all that. And Silvio, in a coma, is in a sort of purgatory as well, just as Tony was at the beginning of season six, and just as he and his family are now.

Do fans - me, for instance - have a right to be angry at Chase? Hell yeah. Do we have a right to be cynical? Hell yeah, for all Chase has done has kept the possibility of a movie alive. Oh no, David might say (if he ever comes back from France and that pool.) My artistic vision is complete! I don't believe in tidy endings! (except for Phil, Bobby, Sil, Chris, etc. etc.) Life isn't like that!

Except for this: When Warner Bros. offers a hundred million for the two-hour finale that will really be a finale! Amazing how money can alter (or pervert) artistic visions.

Alive or dead? Your call, I'm afraid.

The best thing about the Sopranos finale was using the Vanilla Fudge's version of "You Keep Me Hangin' On" as the background music in several of the scenes. It's one of the coolest pseudo-pyschedelic songs ever recorded.

Yeah, I'm praising a 40-year-old song as the best part of the Sopranos finale because that's the only thing that moved me.

I mean, yeah, I know this is the "year of you" and all that, but David Chase's sneaky ending -- fade to black, you make up your own ending, was just a little too slick. Maybe Tony and family got whacked by the guy at the counter. Maybe they didn't. This is what we waited for?

David Chase, you kept us hanging on... but you never set us free, babe. Just playing with our hearts.

What did you think? Post your thoughts here

The reviews on "John From Cincinnati" are comin' in, and with each one - best I can tell - HBO shrinks a little further into its hole. This is the show (bowing Sunday, 10) that must replace "The Sopranos," after all, and nothing replaces "The Sopranos. But according to my sampling from some smart critics out there, the early returns have not been favorable.

Now, a dissenting view: I think "John from Cincinnati" is a winner. It is also strange, bitter, bleak and often utterly bizarre, but a winner nonetheless, filled with extraordinary writing (of course - David Milch wrote/created) and some remarkable acting performances (Of particular note: Brian Van Holt's portrayal of zonked out, massively cranky, former surfer champ Butchie Yost.) Bruce Greenwood is on board, so to speak, as well - he's the guy you see levitating in the promos - as Butchie's dad, Mitch. He's good, as well. And: the great (and greatly under appreciated) Ed O'Neill as Bill (relationship to the surfing Yost family unclear; probably granddad.)

You've heard the basic plot points probably by now - weird guy shows up at Butchie's door, offering to sponsor him. Weird guy is John - Austin Nichols - who's a Chance the Gardener type. I don't think he's actually from Cincinnati, by the way.

On a scale of one to ten - ten being "Sopranoland," or "The Wire," one being "Lucky Louie," and six/seven being "Deadwood" - I hereby give "John" an eight. I think this surfboard's got legs.

If an alien landed on Earth right now with no knowledge of American TV, how would we explain the appeal -- no, the cult -- of Bob Barker?

He’s a game show host, yes. He’s been on television for 50 years, yes. He’s made mocking movie appearances (“Happy Gilmore,” anyone?) and campaigned for animal rights.

But why is Barker such a fave with college students and grandparents alike? What has kept “The Price Is Right” on CBS network TV years after all other game shows have gone?

We’re trying to answer those questions as Bob's last “Price” show is taped (yesterday) and aired (next Friday, June 15), ending an entire television era. And you can help. We’d like to know what Bob Barker has meant to you -- in 50 words or less. Not so easy a task, but you’re up to it. In Part 2 next week, we’ll be saluting Barker with some of your analysis. (Be sure to include your full name, hometown and email address.)

Add your two cents by clicking on the Comments link right here.

I honestly can't think of another canceled show that got returned to the air because of nuts. Prunes? Definitely. And there was (of course) that time turnips came into play. (Yes, that turned some heads at the network, per my recollection.) I think HBO once threatened to cancel "Sex and the City" and fans began sending boxes of condoms to the chairman's office. That also worked...quickly.

But really - this is amazing. Ridiculous, too. Do I see the term "precedent-setting" here? In case you haven't heard, CBS has renewed "Jericho" - seven episodes, probably mid-season - after several thousand rather peculiar fans sends several thousand pounds of nuts to various network offices around the US of A. This was all inspired by some line a character said in the last episode...

Anyway, because CBS is a peanut-free zone - Les Moonves has a well-documented allergy - the network quickly relented.

Here's CBS Entertainment boss Nina Tassler (no peanut allergy, but HATES pecans) on the nuts blitzkrieg (posted on the "Jericho" website):

"Wow!

"Over the past few weeks you have put forth an impressive and probably unprecedented display of passion in support of a prime time television series. You got our attention; your emails and collective voice have been heard.

"As a result, CBS has ordered seven episodes of “Jericho” for mid-season next year. In success, there is the potential for more. But, for there to be more “Jericho,” we will need more viewers."

Okay, etc. etc. and so forth. But back to my key point: Is this precedent setting?

My fear is - yes. Imagine the horrific consequences, if you will. What if the 195 fans of "Armed & Famous" got together to protest cancellation of said favorite show? What do THEY send Nina? (The entire DVD collection of "CHiPs.")

Here some more possibilities:

* "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip:" Alison Janney did a cameo on the show, and as sort of an inside joke, there were a bunch of lawn flamingos in one episode ("flamingo" was her White House code name on "West Wing.")
Advice to fans: I think you can buy lawn flamingoes at Walmart for about five bucks a piece.

* "Veronica Mars:" Fans of "VM" - I call 'em Veronicanistas - send a few million Mars bars wrappers to the CW offices in March to keep the show on the air, but naturally, this sadsack campaign failed.
Advice to fans: Why not send the Mars bars WITHOUT the wrappers? The resulting mess would pretty much get the CW killjoys back to the bargaining table pronto.

* "The O.C." : Remember when Summer released all those poor rabbits from the lab at Brown last season? Need I say more?
Advice to fans: Yes - real rabbits to Fox, my friends. Not fake little bunnys. Mark the cages "attention Peter Ligouri." He's the boss, and he will be FORCED to clean up the rabbit poop every morning. Lemme tell you - rabbits know how to poop.

* "24": I don't know - a couple more seasons like the last one and "24" will get the ax too. So let's start planning now!
Advice to fans: Send cheap little briefcases, and emblazoned on each is that nuclear symbol, which universally means - "don't touch or your newborn child will have three legs..." More advice - definitely don't put return address on your package because the FBI will send you to Guantanamo.

Any more ideas? Send ‘em my way and I’ll take complete credit.

Salty AND mixed. Mmmmmmmmm.

UPDATE:
No sooner had we posted the link item below than CBS announced it will indeed revive "Jericho" for seven episodes next midseason.

“In success, there is the potential for more," CBS program chief Nina Tassler wrote in an email to the J-fans who successfully campaigned for the series' return. "But, for there to be more ‘Jericho,’ we will need more viewers.”

To that end, CBS plans to repeat the series on-air this summer, continue streaming episodes online, and put out the first-season DVD Sept. 25.

Full story here.

ORIGINAL POST:
Our sister paper The Los Angeles Times reports today more definitively that "Jericho" producers are talking with CBS executives about reviving the canceled series for eight episodes next midseason.

During its 17 seasons, “Law & Order” has employed hundreds of New York-based actors in various guest roles. And among those hundreds are a handful of performers who have also appeared on a certain New Jersey-set mob drama that ends Sunday night.

With this is mind, the programming poobahs at TNT, home of “Law & Order” reruns, have come up with a pretty neat idea: Starting at 2 p.m. Monday, the channel will run a 12-episode marathon of “Law & Orders” featuring actors who have appeared on “The Sopranos.”

Here’s the rundown:

2 p.m. “I.D.,” with Aida Turturro (Janice) and Jerry Adler (Hesh). The cops tackle identifying a corpse left in an elevator.

3 p.m. “Grief,” with Edie Falco (Carmela)– A reluctant witness affects the case of two rape victims in custodial care.

4 p.m. “DWB,” with John Ventimiglia (Artie) – The detectives uncover a shocking twist while investigating the beating of a black man.

5 p.m. “Trade This,” with Vincent Curatola (Johnny Sack) – The murder of a stockbroker points to organized crime when a hired hit man kills the prime suspect.

6 p.m. “Deep Vote,” with Dan Grimaldi (Patsy Parisi) – A political reporter is the target of a murder plot.

7 p.m. “Everybody Loves Raimondo’s,” with Joseph R. Gannascoli (Vito) and Ray Abruzzo (Little Carmine) – Two men are gunned down at an exclusive restaurant.

8 p.m. “Sects,” with Robert Funaro (Eugene)– Police and prosecutors go after a fanatical cult leader who encourages sex with children among her followers.

9 p.m. “Publish and Perish,” with Michael Imperioli (Christopher)– The police investigate the link between a powerful police commissioner and the murder of a porn actress and a maverick publisher.

10 p.m. “Hindsight,” also with Imperioli, in his “L&O;” role as Det. Nick Falco. He’s investigated after a woman he spent the night with turns up dead.

11 p.m. “Shadow,” with Dominic Chianese (Uncle Junior) – The murder of a bail bondsman looks fairly routine until the chance words of the chief suspect uncovers possible case-fixing.

Midnight “Juvenile,” with Frank Vincent (Phil) – The investigation into the shooting of a newspaper columnist leads to a murder case from two decades earlier.

1 a.m. “Deadbeat,” with Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy) and Sharon Angela (Rosalie Aprile)– The murder of a deadbeat father whose son is dying of leukemia presents a moral dilemma

TV Guide is reporting online today that CBS' canceled cult fave "Jericho" might get a reprieve for a few (possibly midseason) episodes, which presumably could resolve its post-nuke cliffhanger storyline.

Full news flash here.