Having recovered sufficiently from the Greatest Super Bowl in History (GSBIH), I can now render my verdict on all the other aspects of the big show. With grades, and best moments in boldface. I'm certain I've missed a few here and there (sorry), but Newsday lets you vote for your favorite, if you haven't already.
Here goes..
Jordin Sparks: Starts low and slow with the anthem but crowns if off with that big clean voice. And why wasn't she this good on "Idol?" (A)
Diet Coke: Bad start to Super Bowl ad parade (D).
SalesGenie: Huh? What's a "salesgenie?" Don't know from this. (F).
Under Armour: One of those puzzlers that makes you wonder, what's an "under armour." I'm still not sure (athletic stuff, I think). (C)
Bud Light: The big cheese, and guys will be guys. Droll but predictable. (C -)
Bridgestone: Game's big sponsor has the game's big winner - screaming squirrel, and easily the advertising highlight of GSBIH. (A+)
iTunes: Whatever. (Just tell me how to sync my list). (C)
"Wanted:" The trailer. Did not work. Forgettable. (D)
Godaddy.com: with male heart-racer, Danica Patrick, but just weird, and what the heck is a godaddy? (D).
Fed Ex: Attack of the giant pigeons. Animals to good, if destructive, effect. (B)
"Iron Man:" Trailer. I dunno, he looks like he's made of nickel. Good trailer though. (B)
Corolla: The badger will chew off face if disturbed. Good. Funny. Clever. (B+)
"Leatherheads:" Trailer. Clooney in a muddy comedy? Uh-uh. (D).
Garmin: Napoleon? Whaaa? (D)
CareerBuilder.com: Beating heart on two legs. Disgusting. The worst of the GSBIH ads. (F)
Lifewater: Dancing lizards. Gimmickry for expensive sugar water. (B-)
Yukon Hybrid: That drawing of guy pushing rock up hill. I liked it visually, but still can't fix the idea of a hybrid gashog Yukon in my head. (B)
Bud Light: Poking fun at people with funny accents. That'll sell beer. Right. (D)
Narnia: The best of the trailers. (B+)
T-Mobile: With the round mound of rebound. Not there. (C)
Pepsi/Amazon: Justin Timberlake gets the worst of it. So do viewers. (D)
Doritos: Attack of the giant mouse. Low-budget look that works. (B +)
Daytona 500: The best of the Fox promos - visual dynamo, with aural fireworks. (A)
Ideacast: Semi-naked guy? (D -)
Chase (Protection): Secret agent man. Blah. (D)
"Ax Men": The wood cutters. Remember? Of course you don't. That's the problem. (D).
NFL Network: The in-house ads, with the guy who can't get his story straight. Amusing but will we watch? (B-)
Halftime Show: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. One of the great rockers in history gets center stage at GSBIH, and I'm sorry to say, it was soporific. This recent habit of going to the standards (Stones, McCartney, now Petty) may have broad demographic appeal, as they say in the ad trade, but sometimes at the expense of energy and spontaneity.
Zantac: Heartburn. 'Nuff said. (C -)
SemiPro: No. (D)
Cars.com: Witch doctor. Whatever. (C)
SalesGenie: Still blowing all that IPO money, eh? And still no go - the pandas. (F)
Vitawater: Shaq on horse. Strange. (D)
Bud Light: Cave men discover the bottle opener. Terrible. (D).
Ice Cube Ice Breakers: With Carmen Electra. A bore. (C).
Bridgestone: Alice Cooper...Richard Simmons...great, again. (A)
CareerBuilder: The spider. Hmmm. (C)
Hyundai: Little surprise twist. (B)
Wall-E: "Toy Story" riff. Endless. (D)
E-Trade: The slick talking baby. Creepy. (D)
Geico: The return of the hairy dudes, who offer their critique of the TV show ("what's with the make-up.") Still amuses. (B).
Audi (AKA "Godfather.) I still don't know what was in the bed. (D)
Dell XPS: the exploding PCs. Liked it. (B)
Coke: Stewie and Charlie race for the Coke bottle. This one seems to be the overwhelming favorite of everyone, and understandably. I still like the Screaming Squirrel. (A)
Zohan: Trailer. With Sandler. Dumb and dumber. (D)
Gatorade: Thirsty dog. Only average. (C)
Bud Light: Jackie Moon, AKA, Will Ferrell. The only decent "Light." (B)
Victoria's Secret: For the guys. Eye-opening. (B).